Fic: A Second Chance
Title: A Second Chance
Author: Mary (stillxmyxheart)
Beta: Lindsay (rowofstars)
Rating: G
Genre: Friendship, Fluff, Angsty bits
Word Count: 4,256
Characters/Pairings: Jackie, Hannah, mentions of Eddie
A/N: Another one I'm super excited to post. (Also posting tonight because I'm not sure what my schedule will be like tomorrow.)
Jackie steps hesitantly off the bus, his fingers tightening around the strap of his bag as the doors rattle shut behind him and the bus drives away in a puff of exhaust.
The bus stop is at the intersection at the end of his street and he stands still a moment, staring around the neighborhood. The corner opposite the one he's standing on holds a convenience store and across the street behind him is a drugstore, while the other corner contains a small restaurant. More businesses are interspersed among the houses, and two streets over is the auto shop where he'll be starting work soon, close enough for him to walk, which makes him happy. He has no idea when he'll be able to afford a car and he really prefers the idea of being able to walk to all of the places he needs to go.
Taking a deep breath, he finally allows a small smile to curve his lips. This neighborhood is such a far cry from the one he'd left behind in Wheaton. While the houses are all small and nothing terribly special, they're all well-kept, as is the neighborhood in general. The parole board had told him they preferred to send parolees back to the community they had lived in before, but he had practically begged them to let him live in Alexandria; there was nothing for him in Wheaton, no friends, no family, and certainly no support from anybody. All that waited for him there were a lot of bad memories and bad feelings.
He's pretty sure Hannah was what helped make the final decision. She had spoken at his parole hearing, not as his victim, but on his behalf, telling the board that she was his support person and his friend, that she didn't mind him living so close to her but in fact she wanted him to be close to her.
That combined with the job at the auto shop had cemented his relocation to Alexandria and over the past several months he'd been allowed out to look for a house and hammer out the details of his new job.
Now he's out. He's on his own for the first time in eight years, for the first time in his life, and with another deep breath, he starts down the sidewalk to his house, hand in his pocket, fingers rubbing against the edge of his house key.
There's a car in his driveway as he approaches the house and he smiles again at the figure sitting on his front porch steps, wearing a pretty yellow sundress, long blonde hair pulled back on the sides. She smiles when she sees him and pushes to stand, brushing off her skirt as she moves into the yard.
"Can I - can I hug you?" she asks tentatively when he's in front of her, pressing her lips together as she looks at him.
For a moment he just stares at her, surprised by the question, and then he nods, the corner of his mouth rising as he sets his bag on the ground. Her arms slide around his middle, her cheek pressing against his chest, and his breath catches at the sensation.
"Welcome home, Jackie," she says softly.
In this moment, he realizes how starved for affection he is, not just over the past eight years in prison, but for most of his life, and he closes his eyes as his arms circle her shoulders. Above everything else, more than the new house and job, this moment is what finally makes him start to feel like a person again.
"It feels really good to be here," he replies, smiling down at her when they pull apart before glancing up at the house. "I've never had a place that was all mine. Well, mostly mine. Leased."
Hannah laughs softly and Jackie looks back at her, still smiling.
"You wanna go inside?" she asks, raising her eyebrows.
"Yeah," he replies, eager to see it as his home now. He leads the way to the porch, pulling the key from his pocket as he climbs the steps, Hannah close behind.
They step into the living room, almost empty save for a couch and a coffee table. He knows there's not much more furniture in the rest of the house, just a bed in his bedroom along with a dresser and a small side table, and a table and chairs in the kitchen.
"It looks so bare," Hannah murmurs. "I wanted to do something to make it a little homier, but I didn't know what, I didn't want to do something you wouldn't like."
"Honestly, Hannah, this is pretty much perfect." She looks up at him, her eyebrows knitting together, and he laughs. "I just spent the last eight years surrounded by other guys twenty-four/seven, all I care about right now is that I'll finally get some peace and quiet."
Hannah giggles and nods. "Fair enough. So what do you want to do?"
"I have a feeling you already have something in mind."
"Well, I was thinking of taking you grocery shopping so you can stock up the kitchen and not have to worry about having food to eat before you get your first paycheck. Is there anything you need to do today?"
Jackie shakes his head. "They told me I had to meet with my parole officer within three days of my release, but I was planning to do that tomorrow. Sort of wanted to have one night of freedom."
Hannah smiles and nods. "I was also thinking, if you're up to it, that we could maybe do some other shopping, just get you some other things for the house, if you like, or maybe some new clothes, or whatever else you feel like you want."
Jackie nods, though he doesn't speak, and Hannah adds quickly, "Only if you want to. I don't want to overload you or something; we can just get the groceries, if that's all you want."
Jackie shakes his head, a short laugh escaping him. "No, I was just thinking - it's weird to think about getting to spend the whole day with you. The last time we more or less spent a day together -"
"It'll be a good day," Hannah interrupts gently.
"Yeah," Jackie replies, smiling down at her.
Several hours later they're back at the house. Hannah's organizing the kitchen to her liking with Jackie's assurance that he'd be okay with whatever she did, and he's in his bedroom, putting his things away.
His personal belongings from prison don't amount to much, just a couple of books and some things he bought in the commissary, along with the last few pictures Hannah sent him. He'd only been allowed to have so many pictures in his possession, so most of the ones she gave him ended up getting thrown away, but she'd promised to give him new copies of whatever ones he wanted to keep.
There's a few bags of new clothes on his bed, not very many, but enough to keep his dresser from looking totally pathetic.
The bedroom furniture itself is simple, just plain wood, but he's happy with it. The bed's bigger than the one he had in prison and he can already tell the mattress will be infinitely more comfortable. He'd smiled when he saw the sheets Hannah put on the bed, white and blue checked with a soft blue blanket spread on top. He's not nearly tired enough, but part of him can't wait to go to bed, if only to sleep on the soft, clean sheets.
After putting away his things, he moves to put his bag in the closet and then freezes when he opens the door and sees the box on the floor. His last name is scrawled over the top, followed by personal - Wheaton.
He absently places his bag on the shelf and then sinks to his knees, carefully lifting the top off the box. Inside is a random assortment of stuff and after a moment, he realizes it's all of the things from his bedside table and the top of his dresser.
Most of it is meaningless and he starts to push it back in the closet to deal with later, but then suddenly remembers something and begins to paw through the box. He finally finds what he's looking for and moves to settle on the edge of the bed with two pictures in his hands, his eyes on the one on top.
"Settling in?"
Jackie startles at the sound of Hannah's voice and twists to look at her, his hand moving to hide the picture. She frowns as she moves closer to him and he shakes his head.
"I'm just... reminiscing."
"Can I see?" she asks, sinking gingerly down beside him on the bed.
"I don't want to upset you."
She considers him a moment and then asks, her voice even softer, "Is it Eddie?"
Jackie nods and Hannah takes a breath before flashing a small smile.
"You can show me. If you want."
A beat passes and then Jackie brings the picture around, holding it so Hannah can see. She takes it from him, an odd sensation spreading through her fingertips as she looks at it. It's of a much younger Eddie and Jackie, both of them in suits that look a little threadbare, and both smiling broadly at the camera with their arms around each other.
"That's from the day he got married," Jackie says quietly. "He always said it was the happiest day of his life, next to the day Luke was born."
It feels a little strange for Hannah to see Eddie like this. All she knows is the angry, violent man who hurt her, who tried to rape her and wanted to kill her, who traumatized her and left deep scars that will never go away completely. Rationally she knows that's not who he was all the time, and while she knows she'll never forgive him for what he did to her, even though he's long dead and buried, it can't hurt for her to let Jackie talk about him.
"Do you miss him?" she asks as she passes the picture back.
"I miss him," he replies, jiggling the picture. "If I could have him back, I'd want this Eddie. I know you only ever saw him as an asshole, and I know you hate him; you have every reason to and I don't blame you, not one bit. I hate him too. He took everything from me."
Jackie pauses, taking a shaky breath, and shakes his head. "But he was still my brother, you know? He wasn't always like that. He used to be a really good, decent guy. He used to be happy, for fuck's sake. I don't remember much from when our mom was still alive, since I was only four when she died, but I do remember that Eddie never seemed to resent me. Even though he was 12 when I was born and it had just been him and our mom for all of that time, I don't remember him ever being really mean to me beyond the usual brother stuff. I don't remember him hating me for coming into their lives. He hated my dad for leaving, but he never put that blame on me. He was my brother, and he took care of me. Even when Mom got sick and couldn't work anymore, he tried his hardest to take care of us both, and then she died... They tried to keep us together, but the people who are willing to foster a four-year-old are not always willing to foster a sixteen-year-old. He was only in the system for two years anyway before he aged out, and I sort of vaguely remember him trying to get custody of me, but it didn't work. So for eight years I was stuck, bouncing from home to home. I didn't think I was a difficult kid to take care of, but nobody ever seemed to want me for very long, though one couple did briefly consider adopting me. It never happened, obviously; I don't think I ever found out why."
Jackie sighs, his gaze dropping to the picture again. "Eddie and I still spent time together. I was 8 when he got married, almost 9. He and Molly had been together since high school, and when she got pregnant, marriage was the next logical step to Eddie, but he wanted to anyway. It wasn't some obligation to him; he really loved her and he would've married her eventually, Luke just sort of put a rush on it. He was so happy that day. It was like the start of this four years of grace for him. He was happily married with a son, he had a steady job, a decent house, I was in a good foster family; it was like everything had fallen into place for him."
Jackie grimaces and shakes his head. "And then Molly died."
"What happened?" Hannah asks softly.
"Drunk driver ran a stop sign. Crumpled her car like a tin can. Eddie got to the hospital just in time to say goodbye. It was the beginning of the end. A few months before the accident, I got placed in a new foster home, and the guy was just a piece of shit. He basically wanted the money, which was stupid because it's not like it was some great fortune, and the free labor. One night not long after Molly died, he started going after my foster sister, who was a couple years older than me. I tried to stop him, and he nearly beat me to death. If Danielle hadn't run to get Eddie, he probably would have. Eddie saved my life and he finally got guardianship of me, and I got to go home with him. Things were okay for a while, not great, but not terrible. Eddie made sure I graduated high school, though we couldn't afford for me to go to college. I didn't quite have the grades to earn any scholarships and Eddie was having enough trouble trying to save up for Luke's college fund. I got a job though, and between the two of us, we did okay. I helped with the bills when I could and used my employee discount at the grocery store to keep us up with food."
Jackie shrugs. "The years just passed, you know? We were in this sort of stasis, things could've been better, but things also could've been a lot worse. And then Luke became a teenager, and it was like a switch had been flipped. He started getting into trouble, hanging out with a bad crowd... it was basically like one of those after school specials or something. But it ended up a lot worse than a few vandalism charges, and that was when Eddie snapped. All along he'd tried to turn a blind eye to Luke's problems, trying to dismiss them as typical teenage boy stuff, but when he was arrested for murder..."
Jackie sighs again. "Eddie didn't want to believe he'd done it. Couldn't believe he'd done it. He insisted that your dad had framed him, that he was so desperate for someone to pin it on that he apparently drew Luke's name out of thin air. I don't know what all was going through his mind back then, but he was just... crazy over it."
Jackie falls silent, still staring at the picture, and then continues. "After Luke was executed, Eddie just... it's like he switched off. He still went to work and everything, but when he was home, it was nearly unbearable, and it wasn't because of anything he did, but because of what he didn't do. He just stopped. He worked, ate, slept, and that was it. I was working at the hospital at this point and I tried to get on with my life, you know? I tried to make friends, go out, do things. I had a girlfriend for a while, but something happened, I still don't know what, and she broke up with me. Eddie made a lot of stuff hard, because he'd get angry when I went out. It's like he was desperate to keep me around, to keep me from leaving, and eventually I just became as shut off from the world as he was."
Jackie frowns, shifting in his seat. "One thing he always talked about after Luke died was getting revenge on your dad. He didn't know how or when, but he wanted to punish your dad for what had happened to Luke, and then he ran into you at your school..."
Jackie trails off and when he finally looks at Hannah again, there are tears in his eyes.
"I know it was so long ago now, but I'm still so sorry for what we did to you, Hannah. You should never have been dragged into our mess, nothing should have ever happened to you, and I will always be sorry for that."
"I know," Hannah says softly, resting her hand on his arm. "But this is the last time I'm going to let you apologize for it. I've moved on. I'm married to an amazing man, I have two beautiful kids, and a job I love. Now you have a chance to move on too. You've got this perfect little house that the leaser said you can do whatever you want with, and you've got the job at the auto shop like you've always wanted. I know you don't really have any friends besides me right now, but that'll change, I know it will. You've always been a good man; don't let your mistakes hold you back. Start making your own life, Jackie, okay? You promised me, remember?"
"I remember," he replies, his lips curving in a small smile. "I will."
"Do you need a frame for that?" Hannah asks, pointing at the picture.
Jackie shakes his head. "No. I don't want it out. I just want to have it."
Reaching forward, he opens the drawer in his bedside table and drops the picture inside, and then pauses a moment, looking at the other picture in his hand before glancing back at Hannah.
"Do you want to see a picture of my mom?"
She smiles and nods. "Sure."
"It's the only one I have of her," he says as he straightens and passes the picture to Hannah. "It was after she got sick, but before she got really bad."
Hannah nods, her smile widening as she looks at the picture. It's just of Jackie and his mom, sitting on a set of steps somewhere. Jackie looks about three, wearing brown pants and a striped t-shirt, while his mother is just in a simple summery red dress, long, slightly curly reddish-brown hair tumbling over her shoulders. They're both smiling broadly, him sitting in her lap with her arms tight around him.
"She was beautiful," Hannah murmurs.
"She was."
"What was her name?"
"Bridget. Her parents were really proud of their Irish ancestry, that's one of the things I remember her telling me. She made sure Eddie and I knew that we were half Irish. I don't know about the other half. She never got married, so Eddie and I both got her last name when we were born, instead of our fathers', whoever they were."
"I'm glad you have a few good memories of her," Hannah murmurs, passing the picture back to Jackie.
"Me too," Jackie says softly, looking down at the picture for a moment before replacing it in the drawer.
They're both quiet for a moment, and then Hannah pushes to stand.
"Come on, it's getting late, and I want to take you to dinner to celebrate your first night of freedom."
Jackie laughs softly as he stands too.
"You know, I was thinking of maybe going to college," he says as he follows Hannah from the room.
"Oh, yeah?" she says, looking back over her shoulder at him.
"I mean, nothing like what you did, but Northern Virginia Community College has a program for automotive technology. I know some stuff, but I thought actually going to school and learning even more would be good, just in case I have to get a job at another auto shop or something."
"I think that's a really good idea, Jackie. And I know how much you want to go to college."
"Yeah," he says with a smile as he locks the front door and they start down the steps to Hannah's car. "I can't do it right away, I need to start saving up money again, but maybe in the next couple of years or so."
"And there's always financial aid," Hannah adds. Jackie nods and Hannah smiles. "See, you're already on your way to your shiny new life."
Jackie nods again, smiling back at her, and then touches her shoulder as she starts to walk around to get in the car.
"I just - I wanted to say thank you," he says when she turns to look at him. "For everything. You've done so much for me, none of which you even remotely had to do... we'd never make it to dinner if I stood here and listed it all, but I just have to say thank you, Hannah."
"I'm happy to do it, Jackie. Truly. You're one of my friends now, you can't escape me."
Jackie laughs and Hannah grins as she steps forward to hug him. He hugs her back, relishing the sensation as he did that morning. After a moment they pull apart and she smiles up at him before turning to walk around the car.
"Come on, food time. I'm starving."
"For someone so little, you seem to eat a lot," Jackie observes as he slips into the passenger seat.
"I have a 3-year-old son, getting to clean my own plate entirely by myself is a luxury. At least Rachel's still a baby; she doesn't try to steal my food yet."
Jackie laughs and nods and Hannah grins as she starts the car.
A couple of hours later she brings him home again and hugs him one more time, promising she'll see him again soon and urging him to call her to let her know how his first day of work went. He says he will and watches her to her car, waving when she's on the street.
Once she's out of sight, he steps inside the house, closing and locking the front door before turning to stare around the living room.
Before, there was just the couch and coffee table, but now there's a rug in front of the couch and a small bookshelf against the wall. There are two end tables bearing lamps and simple white curtains on the windows. Best of all is the TV, situated on a small stand across from the couch. It's an old one of Hannah and Eli's, but still in perfectly good shape, and while he doesn't have cable yet, there's a DVD player, also from Hannah and Eli, on the shelf below the TV and a handful of movies he bought from the bargain bin while he and Hannah were out earlier.
He selects one to watch and puts it in before heading into the kitchen for something to drink from the fully stocked refrigerator.
While part of him felt guilty about Hannah spending so much of her own money on buying him groceries, he knew she was right that it would be a while before he got enough money to buy decent food and he's grateful that it's one less thing he'll have to worry about. Maybe he'll even fix her dinner one of the nights she's over; he's got plenty of food to do it and he definitely owes her for everything she's done for him.
Reaching into the refrigerator, he pulls out a can of soda and pops the tab as he turns to head back into the living room. His gaze flicks to the table and he slows to a stop, a curious frown creasing his brow. There's something on top and he moves to look at it, his eyes widening when he realizes what it is.
It's a white ceramic plaque with his last name and house number painted in Hannah's neat writing, the space around decorated in multicolor polka dots, and it has a white string extending from two small holes so he can hang it up.
There's a note tucked underneath the edge and he sets his soda down to pick it up, his lips curving as he reads it.
A little something for your new house! I hope you like it!
His smile widens as he sets the note down and takes the plaque in his hands, running his fingers over the painted letters and numbers. It hits him again that this really is his house now, that he's getting another chance at living his life, and he takes a deep breath as he gently lays the plaque back down on the table. He's not sure if he's got a hammer and nails, but if not, he'll find some and hang the plaque up tomorrow.
Still smiling, he runs his fingers over the checked table cloth, slowly beginning to notice all of the things Hannah did in the kitchen while he was in his bedroom earlier, and sighs happily as he picks up his soda again to continue into the living room.
Author: Mary (stillxmyxheart)
Beta: Lindsay (rowofstars)
Rating: G
Genre: Friendship, Fluff, Angsty bits
Word Count: 4,256
Characters/Pairings: Jackie, Hannah, mentions of Eddie
A/N: Another one I'm super excited to post. (Also posting tonight because I'm not sure what my schedule will be like tomorrow.)
Jackie steps hesitantly off the bus, his fingers tightening around the strap of his bag as the doors rattle shut behind him and the bus drives away in a puff of exhaust.
The bus stop is at the intersection at the end of his street and he stands still a moment, staring around the neighborhood. The corner opposite the one he's standing on holds a convenience store and across the street behind him is a drugstore, while the other corner contains a small restaurant. More businesses are interspersed among the houses, and two streets over is the auto shop where he'll be starting work soon, close enough for him to walk, which makes him happy. He has no idea when he'll be able to afford a car and he really prefers the idea of being able to walk to all of the places he needs to go.
Taking a deep breath, he finally allows a small smile to curve his lips. This neighborhood is such a far cry from the one he'd left behind in Wheaton. While the houses are all small and nothing terribly special, they're all well-kept, as is the neighborhood in general. The parole board had told him they preferred to send parolees back to the community they had lived in before, but he had practically begged them to let him live in Alexandria; there was nothing for him in Wheaton, no friends, no family, and certainly no support from anybody. All that waited for him there were a lot of bad memories and bad feelings.
He's pretty sure Hannah was what helped make the final decision. She had spoken at his parole hearing, not as his victim, but on his behalf, telling the board that she was his support person and his friend, that she didn't mind him living so close to her but in fact she wanted him to be close to her.
That combined with the job at the auto shop had cemented his relocation to Alexandria and over the past several months he'd been allowed out to look for a house and hammer out the details of his new job.
Now he's out. He's on his own for the first time in eight years, for the first time in his life, and with another deep breath, he starts down the sidewalk to his house, hand in his pocket, fingers rubbing against the edge of his house key.
There's a car in his driveway as he approaches the house and he smiles again at the figure sitting on his front porch steps, wearing a pretty yellow sundress, long blonde hair pulled back on the sides. She smiles when she sees him and pushes to stand, brushing off her skirt as she moves into the yard.
"Can I - can I hug you?" she asks tentatively when he's in front of her, pressing her lips together as she looks at him.
For a moment he just stares at her, surprised by the question, and then he nods, the corner of his mouth rising as he sets his bag on the ground. Her arms slide around his middle, her cheek pressing against his chest, and his breath catches at the sensation.
"Welcome home, Jackie," she says softly.
In this moment, he realizes how starved for affection he is, not just over the past eight years in prison, but for most of his life, and he closes his eyes as his arms circle her shoulders. Above everything else, more than the new house and job, this moment is what finally makes him start to feel like a person again.
"It feels really good to be here," he replies, smiling down at her when they pull apart before glancing up at the house. "I've never had a place that was all mine. Well, mostly mine. Leased."
Hannah laughs softly and Jackie looks back at her, still smiling.
"You wanna go inside?" she asks, raising her eyebrows.
"Yeah," he replies, eager to see it as his home now. He leads the way to the porch, pulling the key from his pocket as he climbs the steps, Hannah close behind.
They step into the living room, almost empty save for a couch and a coffee table. He knows there's not much more furniture in the rest of the house, just a bed in his bedroom along with a dresser and a small side table, and a table and chairs in the kitchen.
"It looks so bare," Hannah murmurs. "I wanted to do something to make it a little homier, but I didn't know what, I didn't want to do something you wouldn't like."
"Honestly, Hannah, this is pretty much perfect." She looks up at him, her eyebrows knitting together, and he laughs. "I just spent the last eight years surrounded by other guys twenty-four/seven, all I care about right now is that I'll finally get some peace and quiet."
Hannah giggles and nods. "Fair enough. So what do you want to do?"
"I have a feeling you already have something in mind."
"Well, I was thinking of taking you grocery shopping so you can stock up the kitchen and not have to worry about having food to eat before you get your first paycheck. Is there anything you need to do today?"
Jackie shakes his head. "They told me I had to meet with my parole officer within three days of my release, but I was planning to do that tomorrow. Sort of wanted to have one night of freedom."
Hannah smiles and nods. "I was also thinking, if you're up to it, that we could maybe do some other shopping, just get you some other things for the house, if you like, or maybe some new clothes, or whatever else you feel like you want."
Jackie nods, though he doesn't speak, and Hannah adds quickly, "Only if you want to. I don't want to overload you or something; we can just get the groceries, if that's all you want."
Jackie shakes his head, a short laugh escaping him. "No, I was just thinking - it's weird to think about getting to spend the whole day with you. The last time we more or less spent a day together -"
"It'll be a good day," Hannah interrupts gently.
"Yeah," Jackie replies, smiling down at her.
Several hours later they're back at the house. Hannah's organizing the kitchen to her liking with Jackie's assurance that he'd be okay with whatever she did, and he's in his bedroom, putting his things away.
His personal belongings from prison don't amount to much, just a couple of books and some things he bought in the commissary, along with the last few pictures Hannah sent him. He'd only been allowed to have so many pictures in his possession, so most of the ones she gave him ended up getting thrown away, but she'd promised to give him new copies of whatever ones he wanted to keep.
There's a few bags of new clothes on his bed, not very many, but enough to keep his dresser from looking totally pathetic.
The bedroom furniture itself is simple, just plain wood, but he's happy with it. The bed's bigger than the one he had in prison and he can already tell the mattress will be infinitely more comfortable. He'd smiled when he saw the sheets Hannah put on the bed, white and blue checked with a soft blue blanket spread on top. He's not nearly tired enough, but part of him can't wait to go to bed, if only to sleep on the soft, clean sheets.
After putting away his things, he moves to put his bag in the closet and then freezes when he opens the door and sees the box on the floor. His last name is scrawled over the top, followed by personal - Wheaton.
He absently places his bag on the shelf and then sinks to his knees, carefully lifting the top off the box. Inside is a random assortment of stuff and after a moment, he realizes it's all of the things from his bedside table and the top of his dresser.
Most of it is meaningless and he starts to push it back in the closet to deal with later, but then suddenly remembers something and begins to paw through the box. He finally finds what he's looking for and moves to settle on the edge of the bed with two pictures in his hands, his eyes on the one on top.
"Settling in?"
Jackie startles at the sound of Hannah's voice and twists to look at her, his hand moving to hide the picture. She frowns as she moves closer to him and he shakes his head.
"I'm just... reminiscing."
"Can I see?" she asks, sinking gingerly down beside him on the bed.
"I don't want to upset you."
She considers him a moment and then asks, her voice even softer, "Is it Eddie?"
Jackie nods and Hannah takes a breath before flashing a small smile.
"You can show me. If you want."
A beat passes and then Jackie brings the picture around, holding it so Hannah can see. She takes it from him, an odd sensation spreading through her fingertips as she looks at it. It's of a much younger Eddie and Jackie, both of them in suits that look a little threadbare, and both smiling broadly at the camera with their arms around each other.
"That's from the day he got married," Jackie says quietly. "He always said it was the happiest day of his life, next to the day Luke was born."
It feels a little strange for Hannah to see Eddie like this. All she knows is the angry, violent man who hurt her, who tried to rape her and wanted to kill her, who traumatized her and left deep scars that will never go away completely. Rationally she knows that's not who he was all the time, and while she knows she'll never forgive him for what he did to her, even though he's long dead and buried, it can't hurt for her to let Jackie talk about him.
"Do you miss him?" she asks as she passes the picture back.
"I miss him," he replies, jiggling the picture. "If I could have him back, I'd want this Eddie. I know you only ever saw him as an asshole, and I know you hate him; you have every reason to and I don't blame you, not one bit. I hate him too. He took everything from me."
Jackie pauses, taking a shaky breath, and shakes his head. "But he was still my brother, you know? He wasn't always like that. He used to be a really good, decent guy. He used to be happy, for fuck's sake. I don't remember much from when our mom was still alive, since I was only four when she died, but I do remember that Eddie never seemed to resent me. Even though he was 12 when I was born and it had just been him and our mom for all of that time, I don't remember him ever being really mean to me beyond the usual brother stuff. I don't remember him hating me for coming into their lives. He hated my dad for leaving, but he never put that blame on me. He was my brother, and he took care of me. Even when Mom got sick and couldn't work anymore, he tried his hardest to take care of us both, and then she died... They tried to keep us together, but the people who are willing to foster a four-year-old are not always willing to foster a sixteen-year-old. He was only in the system for two years anyway before he aged out, and I sort of vaguely remember him trying to get custody of me, but it didn't work. So for eight years I was stuck, bouncing from home to home. I didn't think I was a difficult kid to take care of, but nobody ever seemed to want me for very long, though one couple did briefly consider adopting me. It never happened, obviously; I don't think I ever found out why."
Jackie sighs, his gaze dropping to the picture again. "Eddie and I still spent time together. I was 8 when he got married, almost 9. He and Molly had been together since high school, and when she got pregnant, marriage was the next logical step to Eddie, but he wanted to anyway. It wasn't some obligation to him; he really loved her and he would've married her eventually, Luke just sort of put a rush on it. He was so happy that day. It was like the start of this four years of grace for him. He was happily married with a son, he had a steady job, a decent house, I was in a good foster family; it was like everything had fallen into place for him."
Jackie grimaces and shakes his head. "And then Molly died."
"What happened?" Hannah asks softly.
"Drunk driver ran a stop sign. Crumpled her car like a tin can. Eddie got to the hospital just in time to say goodbye. It was the beginning of the end. A few months before the accident, I got placed in a new foster home, and the guy was just a piece of shit. He basically wanted the money, which was stupid because it's not like it was some great fortune, and the free labor. One night not long after Molly died, he started going after my foster sister, who was a couple years older than me. I tried to stop him, and he nearly beat me to death. If Danielle hadn't run to get Eddie, he probably would have. Eddie saved my life and he finally got guardianship of me, and I got to go home with him. Things were okay for a while, not great, but not terrible. Eddie made sure I graduated high school, though we couldn't afford for me to go to college. I didn't quite have the grades to earn any scholarships and Eddie was having enough trouble trying to save up for Luke's college fund. I got a job though, and between the two of us, we did okay. I helped with the bills when I could and used my employee discount at the grocery store to keep us up with food."
Jackie shrugs. "The years just passed, you know? We were in this sort of stasis, things could've been better, but things also could've been a lot worse. And then Luke became a teenager, and it was like a switch had been flipped. He started getting into trouble, hanging out with a bad crowd... it was basically like one of those after school specials or something. But it ended up a lot worse than a few vandalism charges, and that was when Eddie snapped. All along he'd tried to turn a blind eye to Luke's problems, trying to dismiss them as typical teenage boy stuff, but when he was arrested for murder..."
Jackie sighs again. "Eddie didn't want to believe he'd done it. Couldn't believe he'd done it. He insisted that your dad had framed him, that he was so desperate for someone to pin it on that he apparently drew Luke's name out of thin air. I don't know what all was going through his mind back then, but he was just... crazy over it."
Jackie falls silent, still staring at the picture, and then continues. "After Luke was executed, Eddie just... it's like he switched off. He still went to work and everything, but when he was home, it was nearly unbearable, and it wasn't because of anything he did, but because of what he didn't do. He just stopped. He worked, ate, slept, and that was it. I was working at the hospital at this point and I tried to get on with my life, you know? I tried to make friends, go out, do things. I had a girlfriend for a while, but something happened, I still don't know what, and she broke up with me. Eddie made a lot of stuff hard, because he'd get angry when I went out. It's like he was desperate to keep me around, to keep me from leaving, and eventually I just became as shut off from the world as he was."
Jackie frowns, shifting in his seat. "One thing he always talked about after Luke died was getting revenge on your dad. He didn't know how or when, but he wanted to punish your dad for what had happened to Luke, and then he ran into you at your school..."
Jackie trails off and when he finally looks at Hannah again, there are tears in his eyes.
"I know it was so long ago now, but I'm still so sorry for what we did to you, Hannah. You should never have been dragged into our mess, nothing should have ever happened to you, and I will always be sorry for that."
"I know," Hannah says softly, resting her hand on his arm. "But this is the last time I'm going to let you apologize for it. I've moved on. I'm married to an amazing man, I have two beautiful kids, and a job I love. Now you have a chance to move on too. You've got this perfect little house that the leaser said you can do whatever you want with, and you've got the job at the auto shop like you've always wanted. I know you don't really have any friends besides me right now, but that'll change, I know it will. You've always been a good man; don't let your mistakes hold you back. Start making your own life, Jackie, okay? You promised me, remember?"
"I remember," he replies, his lips curving in a small smile. "I will."
"Do you need a frame for that?" Hannah asks, pointing at the picture.
Jackie shakes his head. "No. I don't want it out. I just want to have it."
Reaching forward, he opens the drawer in his bedside table and drops the picture inside, and then pauses a moment, looking at the other picture in his hand before glancing back at Hannah.
"Do you want to see a picture of my mom?"
She smiles and nods. "Sure."
"It's the only one I have of her," he says as he straightens and passes the picture to Hannah. "It was after she got sick, but before she got really bad."
Hannah nods, her smile widening as she looks at the picture. It's just of Jackie and his mom, sitting on a set of steps somewhere. Jackie looks about three, wearing brown pants and a striped t-shirt, while his mother is just in a simple summery red dress, long, slightly curly reddish-brown hair tumbling over her shoulders. They're both smiling broadly, him sitting in her lap with her arms tight around him.
"She was beautiful," Hannah murmurs.
"She was."
"What was her name?"
"Bridget. Her parents were really proud of their Irish ancestry, that's one of the things I remember her telling me. She made sure Eddie and I knew that we were half Irish. I don't know about the other half. She never got married, so Eddie and I both got her last name when we were born, instead of our fathers', whoever they were."
"I'm glad you have a few good memories of her," Hannah murmurs, passing the picture back to Jackie.
"Me too," Jackie says softly, looking down at the picture for a moment before replacing it in the drawer.
They're both quiet for a moment, and then Hannah pushes to stand.
"Come on, it's getting late, and I want to take you to dinner to celebrate your first night of freedom."
Jackie laughs softly as he stands too.
"You know, I was thinking of maybe going to college," he says as he follows Hannah from the room.
"Oh, yeah?" she says, looking back over her shoulder at him.
"I mean, nothing like what you did, but Northern Virginia Community College has a program for automotive technology. I know some stuff, but I thought actually going to school and learning even more would be good, just in case I have to get a job at another auto shop or something."
"I think that's a really good idea, Jackie. And I know how much you want to go to college."
"Yeah," he says with a smile as he locks the front door and they start down the steps to Hannah's car. "I can't do it right away, I need to start saving up money again, but maybe in the next couple of years or so."
"And there's always financial aid," Hannah adds. Jackie nods and Hannah smiles. "See, you're already on your way to your shiny new life."
Jackie nods again, smiling back at her, and then touches her shoulder as she starts to walk around to get in the car.
"I just - I wanted to say thank you," he says when she turns to look at him. "For everything. You've done so much for me, none of which you even remotely had to do... we'd never make it to dinner if I stood here and listed it all, but I just have to say thank you, Hannah."
"I'm happy to do it, Jackie. Truly. You're one of my friends now, you can't escape me."
Jackie laughs and Hannah grins as she steps forward to hug him. He hugs her back, relishing the sensation as he did that morning. After a moment they pull apart and she smiles up at him before turning to walk around the car.
"Come on, food time. I'm starving."
"For someone so little, you seem to eat a lot," Jackie observes as he slips into the passenger seat.
"I have a 3-year-old son, getting to clean my own plate entirely by myself is a luxury. At least Rachel's still a baby; she doesn't try to steal my food yet."
Jackie laughs and nods and Hannah grins as she starts the car.
A couple of hours later she brings him home again and hugs him one more time, promising she'll see him again soon and urging him to call her to let her know how his first day of work went. He says he will and watches her to her car, waving when she's on the street.
Once she's out of sight, he steps inside the house, closing and locking the front door before turning to stare around the living room.
Before, there was just the couch and coffee table, but now there's a rug in front of the couch and a small bookshelf against the wall. There are two end tables bearing lamps and simple white curtains on the windows. Best of all is the TV, situated on a small stand across from the couch. It's an old one of Hannah and Eli's, but still in perfectly good shape, and while he doesn't have cable yet, there's a DVD player, also from Hannah and Eli, on the shelf below the TV and a handful of movies he bought from the bargain bin while he and Hannah were out earlier.
He selects one to watch and puts it in before heading into the kitchen for something to drink from the fully stocked refrigerator.
While part of him felt guilty about Hannah spending so much of her own money on buying him groceries, he knew she was right that it would be a while before he got enough money to buy decent food and he's grateful that it's one less thing he'll have to worry about. Maybe he'll even fix her dinner one of the nights she's over; he's got plenty of food to do it and he definitely owes her for everything she's done for him.
Reaching into the refrigerator, he pulls out a can of soda and pops the tab as he turns to head back into the living room. His gaze flicks to the table and he slows to a stop, a curious frown creasing his brow. There's something on top and he moves to look at it, his eyes widening when he realizes what it is.
It's a white ceramic plaque with his last name and house number painted in Hannah's neat writing, the space around decorated in multicolor polka dots, and it has a white string extending from two small holes so he can hang it up.
There's a note tucked underneath the edge and he sets his soda down to pick it up, his lips curving as he reads it.
A little something for your new house! I hope you like it!
His smile widens as he sets the note down and takes the plaque in his hands, running his fingers over the painted letters and numbers. It hits him again that this really is his house now, that he's getting another chance at living his life, and he takes a deep breath as he gently lays the plaque back down on the table. He's not sure if he's got a hammer and nails, but if not, he'll find some and hang the plaque up tomorrow.
Still smiling, he runs his fingers over the checked table cloth, slowly beginning to notice all of the things Hannah did in the kitchen while he was in his bedroom earlier, and sighs happily as he picks up his soda again to continue into the living room.