FICLET FRIDAY THE SIXTY-FIFTH: STILLXMYXHEART
paternal advice (part one) (David, Hannah), G
David frowns when he gets home from work and sees Hannah curled on the couch in the living room, dressed in sweats and staring listlessly at the TV.
"Did you do your homework?" he asks, his gaze flicking from her to the TV and back. She shakes her head and his frown deepens.
As a rule, she's not allowed to watch TV until she's finished at least most of her homework, but instead of being angry, David is concerned. She just started high school a month ago and he knows it's a lot for her to adjust to; it's been a lot for him to adjust to as well, and he wonders what could be bothering her in the entire spectrum of teenage problems.
"Do you need help with your assignments?" It's too much to hope that her problem would be as simple as trouble with her schoolwork, and predictably, she shakes her head again.
David looks at her a moment and then starts towards the couch, removing his suit jacket and rolling his sleeves to his elbows as he sinks down beside her.
"Tell me what's wrong, baby. Are you having trouble in one of your classes? Are you having problems with any of your friends? Is it a - a boy?" He stumbles over the last one, not sure if he's ready to handle the idea of Hannah becoming seriously interested in boys, but she just shakes her head, as she did on the other two.
David frowns again, feeling his frustration rising, but just as he opens his mouth to speak again, Hannah speaks first.
"It's this girl."
David hesitates, wondering if they're about to embark on something he's even less prepared for. He doesn't want to make any assumptions, though, so he just asks what she means.
Hannah sighs. "I was at my locker today, minding my own business, trying to get my stuff together for my next class after lunch, when out of nowhere this girl comes up to me and tells me I need to stay away from her boyfriend. I'd never seen her before today, I think she's a senior, and had no idea who her boyfriend was either, but I was just so confused, so I asked what she was talking about. And she just went off on me, told me again that I needed to stay away from her boyfriend, called me a - a slut, and then said I was too fat and ugly for any guy to want me anyway."
There are tears in her eyes now and David feels his anger swelling.
"And then she just left, and people were staring at me and some of them were laughing, and I just - hid in the bathroom until lunch was over."
"Did you tell anybody? One of your teachers?"
Hannah sniffles as her shoulders rise in a shrug. "I don't even know the girl's name; they probably wouldn't have believed me anyway." She sniffles again, her chin quivering. "And now I just feel so gross, I mean, I am fat, like... look at me."
Her hands press against her stomach, and David stares at her in disbelief.
"Hannah, you are not fat."
"But I'm not as skinny as the other girls, I feel like a freak -"
"You are a normal, healthy fourteen-year-old girl, and I will not sit here and let you talk about yourself like this." She looks at him with teary eyes and he stares right back at her. "You are beautiful just the way you are."
"You're my dad -"
"That's right, I'm your dad, and I love you far too much to let anybody make you think you're anything less than perfect." His eyebrows knit together and he lifts his hand to her cheek, sweeping his thumb over her skin. "You are beautiful, baby. Please don't let one bitchy girl who you don't even know make you have such a low opinion of yourself. What probably happened is that she caught her boyfriend looking at you, and instead of getting mad at him for looking, she got mad at you for existing."
While David doesn't want to think about older boys checking Hannah out, it does seem to make her perk up a little bit, and he shrugs.
"I was, unfortunately, a teenage boy once."
Hannah makes a sound that's half giggle, half groan. "Dad."
"Well, I was. I know how they operate. And I can promise you, you are not too fat or too ugly for guys to notice you, much as it pains me to say it. And you are certainly not a slut," he adds with a frown. His hand drops to her knee and he gives it a squeeze. "Try to forget all about that girl, okay? She doesn't know anything about you, and she's not worth your time."
Hannah nods, sniffling faintly, and David leans forward to kiss her forehead.
"Now, what do you want for dinner?"
"I'm not really hungry," Hannah mumbles.
"No, Hannah," David says sharply. "You're not going to start doing that. You barely ate breakfast, it sounds like you didn't eat lunch, I am not letting you skip dinner. Starving yourself is not the way to go."
"You miss lunch all the time," she mutters, and David arches an eyebrow.
"Yeah, and I stopped growing a long time ago. You're still growing, still developing, and you need food."
Hannah sighs. "Can we at least start getting healthier stuff, then? Less frozen, premade stuff?"
David nods. "We can do that. I know I've slacked off a bit on actually making dinner since I transferred back to the CID, but I can start trying to get back into it."
"Or I can start cooking," Hannah says with a shrug. "I mean, you have so much more going on at work now, it doesn't seem fair for you to have to cook dinner when you get home when I could just as easily do it."
"Just don't burn the house down."
Hannah gives him a look. "Dad, I'm fourteen, I know my way around the kitchen."
David grins and nods. "Okay, this weekend we'll go to the store and stock up on real food, and I'll show you the recipes Grandma and Aunt Izzie gave me."
Hannah smiles the first real smile David's seen since she left for school that morning and he kisses her forehead again before pushing to stand.
"What do you think about me playing soccer?" Hannah says, standing as well and following him into the kitchen.
"Soccer?" David repeats, frowning lightly. "I didn't even know you liked soccer."
"Well, I mean, I don't love it, but I don't really hate it either." Hannah shrugs. "I was already kind of thinking about it anyway, joining a team or something. Soccer has a lot of running and stuff, and it would be a good way to stay in shape."
"That's true," David murmurs.
"I already missed tryouts for this year, but I was thinking next year. It'd give me time to get in shape - I suck at running right now - and to actually learn about the game."
"If that's what you want to do, then go for it. I think it's a great idea."
Hannah smiles again and David returns it as he pulls open the refrigerator. "So... how about grilled cheese?"
"I don't know if I'd call that healthy."
"It's just butter on bread with cheese and bacon and tomatoes. Look, I don't know what to do with myself if I can't make you your favorite comfort food when you're sad."
"Okay, fine, but don't soak the bread in butter this time."
David snorts. "I won't soak your bread in butter this time."
"It wouldn't kill you to eat healthier too," Hannah says, nudging him as she starts to pull ingredients out of the refrigerator.
"Yeah, yeah," David mutters, waiting until she's done before gently grabbing her arm to turn her around. "Come here."
Hannah allows him to pull her into a hug, and he holds her tightly, kissing the side of her head.
"I love you, baby."
"I love you too, Daddy."
paternal advice (part two) (Adam, Eli), G (general talk of sexual assault)
It's after dinner that Adam taps on Eli's bedroom door, waiting until Eli says, "Come in," before pushing inside.
Eli's lounging on his bed, a book in his hands, and Adam smiles a little as he pushes the door shut.
"Hey, buddy. Finish your homework?"
"Most of it," Eli replies, and then holds up his book. "I've just got to read another two chapters in this tonight."
Adam nods as he sinks onto the edge of Eli's bed. "Your mother and I couldn't help noticing you seemed kind of quiet tonight."
Eli shrugs as he sits up and lays his book down. "I just keep thinking about that girl."
"The one who was raped," Adam says quietly. Eli nods and Adam raises his eyebrows. "Did you know her? I know you have some friends at that school."
"No, I don't really know any of the girls at that school, just a couple of the guys on the baseball team. But like, people were talking about it at school today, about how it happened at a party and like... I've been to some parties, and how does something like that happen?"
Adam almost smiles at his son's naïveté. Eli's only 16 and Adam knows most of the parties he's been to have been fairly benign so far.
"Well, some of those kinds of parties have alcohol, and when kids - or anybody, really - start drinking, stupid things happen. Not to mention teenage boys have a hard time understanding the word 'no'."
Eli looks vaguely scandalized by this. "I would never do that to a girl."
"I know you wouldn't, son, but let me ask you this. Say you're with a girl, you want to do something and she doesn't, what would you do?"
Eli shrugs, looking somewhat uncomfortable. "I don't know."
Adam raises his eyebrows. "Would you try to convince her? Be honest, Eli."
Eli shrugs again. "Maybe."
Adam nods. "That's how it starts. You're a good boy, Eli, and I know you would never intentionally hurt anybody, but even just trying to convince a girl to do something she doesn't want to do is a bad move. No matter what you're doing, even if it's just kissing, if a girl says no or wants you to stop, then you stop. End of story. You don't get mad at her, you don't try to talk her into continuing, you just stop. Your mother taught me how to respect women, but I'll admit, before I met her, I wasn't above a little wheedling and convincing to get a girl to do what I wanted her to do, even if she said she didn't want to at first. It's a mentality a lot of guys have, and it's a bad one."
"But the guys at school -"
"If the guys at school judge you for not forcing a girl into doing something, then you don't need those guys. It's not manly to hurt a girl; it's cowardly. I know you have some female friends, Ashley and Savannah and a few others, and think about them, think about how you'd feel if something happened to them, if somebody hurt them."
"I'd be pissed," Eli murmurs.
"Exactly. Women don't owe men a single damn thing. It doesn't matter if your balls are as blue as a fucking Smurf and she's the one who made them that way, it is not her responsibility to do anything about it if she doesn't want to."
"Dad!" Eli exclaims, grimacing.
"I'm sorry, Eli," Adam says, laughing a little, "but I want to make sure you understand. No matter how worked up a girl gets you, she's not required to finish it. And you never touch a girl without her permission. Never. Even if she's your girlfriend, if she doesn't want you to do something, then you don't do it. Some things become a little more permissible in a relationship, but even still, if she wants you to stop, then you stop. Do you understand?"
Eli nods. "Yeah, Dad, I get it."
"And the same goes for you too, Eli. Nobody should touch you or make you do anything you don't want to do either."
Eli nods again, smiling a little. "You don't usually hear that during the sexual harassment assemblies and stuff."
Adam sighs. "People think that guys always want sex no matter what, but that's not true, and nobody has a right to do anything to you that you don't want them to do."
Eli nods a third time, still smiling as he lowers his head, and Adam slips his arm around Eli's shoulders, squeezing him in a half hug.
"Just look out for yourself, Eli. Protect yourself and protect your friends. I know it can be extremely hard to stand up to your friends, but if you see one of your guy friends doing something to a girl that he shouldn't be doing, then speak up. Keep him out of trouble and keep the girl from getting hurt. When you go to parties, just try to keep an eye out. If you see a girl in trouble, help her. I don't expect you to see everything at once, but if you do see something, then do something about it. That's what makes you a man, okay?"
"Yeah," Eli murmurs, lifting his gaze to Adam. "Thanks, Dad."
"I'm just trying to keep you safe. That's my job. And like I said, I know you're a good boy, Eli, and I know you'd never hurt anybody, I just want you to be aware."
Eli nods one more time and Adam presses a kiss to the side of his head. "I love you, son."
"I love you too, Dad."
"All right, I'll leave you alone now," Adam says, pushing to his feet and walking to the door. He glances back as he pulls it open, his lips curving as he watches Eli pick up his book again, and steps from the room, pulling the door shut behind him and heading back downstairs.