It’s conspiracy I swear!
Yesterday was terrible because I was sick. I woke up and felt almost fine but after watching a little bit of the movie E.T. the Extra Terrestrial my vision strated to feel very strange and my heard was throbing. I thought I was getting another sinus pressure headache so I wasn't sure what to expect. And then, I started throwing up everywhere! The odd thing was, I had just eaten blueberry yogurt and my vomitus was a bright orange sort of acid-like creamsicle color that was filled with chunks of mucus! So I collapsed on the couch after telling mom that I had throw up in her sink. My mom thought it was bile. My mom is dumb.
Mom and aaron got into an argument over the Tylenol. I think it was the first time they've talked to each other in a month and a half. They thought that I had meningitis and mom was all TAKE THE DRUGS! TAKE THE DRUGS! To the point where arron flipped out at her and told her to leave(for the family gathering that I missed and didn't really want to go to)and he would get me to take the pills. After a while aaron started telling me to take the Tylenol because I had meningitis and it could kill me. At the time if I hadn't been too tired to move to a proper place to barf I would have laughed out loud at him, because he sounded sooooo dumb. What’s the point of taking drugs that I’m going to choke on and then throw up again?! Hmm?! Dumbass!
So I passed out on the couch with ESPN on because I wanted to see the men's tennis finals from Toronto, the dumbest place in Canada. I think that it was Roddick against Federer for the championship AGAIN. Federer is a stupid name, in fact, that name is so stupid that I have forgotten the guy's first name. He wasn't playing very well the day before but he still won against the pasty beaver-man and as for Roddick I didn't get to see him play. He's a lot better looking than Federer but he serves like woman. I just remembered that Federer's first name is Roger, damn it! But I didn't get to see the finals because I slept through them. I woke up during some incredibly stupid fishing tournament! Stupid, stupid fish and their wetness! Makes me SICK!
By then I was running low on the orange substance that I had been vomiting so when I did start to all my muscles would tense up until I began to shake and then I would just blah, but only a little. Then mom called and told me to drink some warm soda, because that wasn’t just going to be regurgitated. Oh wait, it was regurgitated. By then I was too tired to walk to the sink so I just commanded aaron to get me things which was my favorite part because I think he thought I was dying. Haha, stupid boy. After more sleeping and vomiting I felt better and made pasta which Ian ate most of. Douche Bag! I hope he gets cancer from his spray paint somehow.
Anyway, the mystery that is my sickness has pretty much diminished into non-existence and the only questions left are, what was it? What caused it? Who won the men’s finals? Why didn’t I need to take any Tylenol? Are the drug companies scamming us by charging us top dollar for sugar pills and placebos? Why are they so hard to swallow anyway? Why can’t I crush them? Why was my vomit electric-orange-colored? What happened to the yogurt that I ate? It was purple for crying out loud?! Who the hell watches a fishing tournament? The rednecks can’t afford ESPN! Why does my cat like to hang out with me when I’m ill?
These questions may never be answered but all I can tell you is to never watch E.T. the Extra Terrestrial. It sucks. I hate Spielberg for his shitty special effects and if I had any real proof I would blame him for my sudden illness
Mom and aaron got into an argument over the Tylenol. I think it was the first time they've talked to each other in a month and a half. They thought that I had meningitis and mom was all TAKE THE DRUGS! TAKE THE DRUGS! To the point where arron flipped out at her and told her to leave(for the family gathering that I missed and didn't really want to go to)and he would get me to take the pills. After a while aaron started telling me to take the Tylenol because I had meningitis and it could kill me. At the time if I hadn't been too tired to move to a proper place to barf I would have laughed out loud at him, because he sounded sooooo dumb. What’s the point of taking drugs that I’m going to choke on and then throw up again?! Hmm?! Dumbass!
So I passed out on the couch with ESPN on because I wanted to see the men's tennis finals from Toronto, the dumbest place in Canada. I think that it was Roddick against Federer for the championship AGAIN. Federer is a stupid name, in fact, that name is so stupid that I have forgotten the guy's first name. He wasn't playing very well the day before but he still won against the pasty beaver-man and as for Roddick I didn't get to see him play. He's a lot better looking than Federer but he serves like woman. I just remembered that Federer's first name is Roger, damn it! But I didn't get to see the finals because I slept through them. I woke up during some incredibly stupid fishing tournament! Stupid, stupid fish and their wetness! Makes me SICK!
By then I was running low on the orange substance that I had been vomiting so when I did start to all my muscles would tense up until I began to shake and then I would just blah, but only a little. Then mom called and told me to drink some warm soda, because that wasn’t just going to be regurgitated. Oh wait, it was regurgitated. By then I was too tired to walk to the sink so I just commanded aaron to get me things which was my favorite part because I think he thought I was dying. Haha, stupid boy. After more sleeping and vomiting I felt better and made pasta which Ian ate most of. Douche Bag! I hope he gets cancer from his spray paint somehow.
Anyway, the mystery that is my sickness has pretty much diminished into non-existence and the only questions left are, what was it? What caused it? Who won the men’s finals? Why didn’t I need to take any Tylenol? Are the drug companies scamming us by charging us top dollar for sugar pills and placebos? Why are they so hard to swallow anyway? Why can’t I crush them? Why was my vomit electric-orange-colored? What happened to the yogurt that I ate? It was purple for crying out loud?! Who the hell watches a fishing tournament? The rednecks can’t afford ESPN! Why does my cat like to hang out with me when I’m ill?
These questions may never be answered but all I can tell you is to never watch E.T. the Extra Terrestrial. It sucks. I hate Spielberg for his shitty special effects and if I had any real proof I would blame him for my sudden illness