fic: Some Sort Of Happy Place
Media: Fiction
Title: Some Sort Of Happy Place
Rating: R
Spoilers: Up through BTW, but with my own headcanon thrown in.
Word count: 7,734
Summary: Canon up until Original songs, where it turns AU. Takes us through a year of what the relationship of Kurt and Blaine is like.
Author's note: Okay, so I started this a couple of weeks ago and it turned into this monster, but I'm happy with it. I can't tell you how relieved I am that I finally finished it, because I have not been able to get this out of my mind since I started. Anyways, here is what a random thought at school turned into. The quote I used I saw on Tumblr to describe Klaine's relationship. I fell in love with it and put it here as a little preface to the little preface. This is originally posted by me on FF.net under drumblonde.
I do not own anything.
Enjoy!
"Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back. Those who wish to sing always find a song. At the touch of a lover, everyone becomes a poet."
Plato
-O-
A moment can define a lifetime of choices, ones that are either outlined by fate or made of one's own free will. It's these moments that build upon each other to form the stories, the chapters of our lives. When one chapter finishes, another begins right in its place.
The prologue is life as it was known before we are all born, the lives of our parents, and the lives of our parent's parents. It goes on and on, because our stories are all interconnected. There is no final chapter to our stories either, because the epilogue makes up our children's lives, just as the chapters in our stories are made of the epilogues of our ancestors.
-O-
November 2010.
It's a life defining moment when Kurt descends the steps of the wide staircase, and asks another student a simple question. Neither of them really knew it at the time, nor will they ever realize it for years to come, but the shake of a hand, mention of a name, and sparkling eyes lead to a long road of interactions, complete with twists, turns, and the occasional cross roads.
A song is sung, eyes meet, and a heart melts. Words of advice are shared, and then their lives disentangle themselves for a while, because Kurt has to return back to Lima, and Blaine remains in Westerville.
It's only the first time their paths cross, but already there's a magnetic quality of the way they react to each other, and it's not long before more words of comfort and advice are given.
-O-
A slam of fists against a locker, and there is a defining moment in the crossing stories of Dave Karofsky and Kurt Hummel. But their stories have no relation in them, except for the happenchance that a life will be changed.
Kurt can't fix Dave; he can't give him the strength and stability he needs to be confident and proud of himself. All he can offer is the function to highlight the rest of his story and press delete, because that moment makes Dave re-evaluate things.
It's not Kurt, and Dave knows it. However, they're both changed from that encounter, in different ways. Dave's task is to find himself. Kurt's is to find safety and friendship in a place where he can be who he is, without fear of more hurt.
Dave's story is changed forever, but Kurt's story is opened up to a new world of acceptance that is a balm to his pain.
The stories cross paths, but they will never intersect meaningfully again. What comes after that is pure chance made of their own decisions.
-O-
December 2010.
Winter's chill gives a good opportunity to succeed in whatever you set your mind to. There's less distractions in the outside world, so whatever is found on the inside is what you're left to take advantage of.
Kurt does his homework, counting the days until he can return to the warmth and magic of his home. He can't wait to resume traditions, because while he is one for change, it's hard to let go of the times when he was young and happy. It's his way of remembering, and it's enough for him and his dad.
The interruption is welcomed, though. The workload has been getting increasingly higher, and Kurt needs some time to relax for a minute and let his mind wander someplace else.
He doesn't think that he would come to such a realization then.
He doesn't mean to say it aloud.
He doesn't mean to fall so hard, so fast for his friend.
-O-
January 2011.
Kurt doesn't say anything, but everyday he hopes for a sign that he is not in vain, that somehow Blaine is secretly harboring feelings for him.
-O-
February 2011.
Daily coffee outings. Or dates? Kurt is confused by the lack of a defining word there to help him learn where exactly they stand in a friendship.
He's not a fool-or so he thinks-because he can see the way Blaine is different around him than the other Warblers.
Blaine smiles a little brighter, laughs a little louder, talks with a little more enthusiasm.
It's almost too much when one day Blaine orders Kurt's coffee for him, and the simple response when asked about it.
"Of course I do."
That wasn't something platonic friends do, right?
Kurt isn't sure, so he doesn't press his luck. Instead, he smiles on and hopes for the day when maybe his wishes come true.
-O-
"The guy I like is a junior manager at the Gap."
Kurt's heart sinks. He feels as though he has come down with a violent bout of the stomach flu, and he wants to excuse himself.
However, he can't leave. He can't confuse Blaine after he just said what he did about performing off-campus. It would be cruel to say one thing, then go against it and leave someone hanging in the midst of promised and encouraging words.
But hasn't Blaine already done that to Kurt?
Kurt can't bring himself to believe that, because somehow he thinks that Blaine had no intentions of hurting him in the first place. But it's hard to think straight when your heart is breaking right in front of the person you admire the most.
-O-
"I really am clueless."
"I really, really care about you."
"I don't want to screw this up."
Those words seem to break him even more than the confession in the common rooms or the scene in the Gap. But Kurt smiles on again, and offers a bit of levity to their conversation, because that's just what he does when he's hurt. Someday, he'll be able to go past the walls he puts up and try to get through to Blaine and tell him how he hurts, but not today.
Nor tomorrow, or even the day after. For now, he wants to go back to the way they were before.
-O-
It's easy to get back into the regular rhythm of things once he starts letting go of the awkwardness. Kurt's stopped thinking that every single thing he does is something weird to Blaine and lets his story write itself.
-O-
But then there's a cliffhanger, the ones that come out of nowhere to keep the audience involved. They're impossible to miss, so when Blaine is having an identity crisis after a drunken night kissing Rachel, Kurt is more than surprised.
It's more than the jealousy and heartbreak again, though. This time it's the fact that his steady stone of courage doubts his own self. Wondering if his defined sexuality is even valid.
Kurt is offended, but so is Blaine, who thought he'd have his best friend's support. He was wrong in almost every single way, and Kurt is there to try and correct him, but for once Blaine can't take all the corrections in his life.
From his parents, his teachers, everyone around him; always correcting and never once did they concur with him. It hits harder to home though, that Kurt is correcting him.
Kurt is his best friend. He's the only person who can really understand what he goes through and went through at his old school. His own stone of friendship with Kurt feels like it's crumbling into dust when he makes the choice to get up and walk away.
He wants to say hurtful things back at Kurt, but he can't bring himself to do it. But he says the next thing that comes to mind, and it is aimed at the very core of their disagreement.
Of course it hurts, but Blaine has already left before he can see the effect it has on Kurt. The coffee sitting in front of him is soon diluted with the melancholy taste of silent and angry tears, and Kurt gets up to throw it away.
He's almost out the door to go home when the barista flags him down, with a fresh cup of steaming coffee in her hand.
He's confused, but doesn't say anything, just stares at her for a second with a furrowed look showing his confusion.
"I thought you might like a new cup of coffee. It tastes better without tears in it, trust me." She smiles sadly at him and hands him the cup.
He accepts the cup graciously, but he doesn't want her pity. "Thank you, but-"
"He's an idiot, sometimes. I've seen the way you look at him. I've seen him look at you that way, more than once," she tells him quietly. Kurt isn't sure where she's going with this, so he nods and starts to turn away and heads out the door.
She calls after him a little louder. "He'll come around, though. I can tell he will."
Kurt doesn't turn around to answer her because he's trying to get out of there as quickly as he can, so he won't spoil another perfectly good cup of coffee.
-O-
After the cliffhanger usually comes the revelation of some sort. So while there was a brief period of panic and altogether scared feelings, Blaine comes to his soon after.
Kurt's relieved, and so is Blaine. Blaine is so, because as soon as he's done with that conversation with Kurt, he sits in his car and screams.
He screams to let out all the anger and frustration at the pressure his parents put on him.
The need to be a model student. The need to be a good person. The need to be the perfect, straight son of wealthy business owners.
All these needs added up to make a Blaine that wasn't real. A hologram that he puts up when around his parents to make them think that he has changed, after all.
The date with Rachel was his glimmer of hope, that maybe he could be the perfect son his parents always wanted. That maybe he had gone through a stage of experimenting. That maybe he would feel normal.
But he's strangely relieved when he figures it out for real. It's a form of rebellion, almost, that he can control an aspect in his life that his parents cannot, despite their efforts.
They can shove all the beliefs and sayings up his ass all they want, but nothing and nobody can change who he is.
-O-
Reconciliation should never be taken for granted. Neither should a friendship, for that matter, but it's the forgiveness and reunion that really brings all the highest points of a friendship into focus.
Between Kurt and Blaine, coming back together is surprisingly easy. Kurt doesn't need to bring anything up to Blaine, and neither does Blaine. There's no need to.
Instead, they pick up right where they left off. Blaine returns from the bathroom and finds that Rachel has already gone, but in her place is Kurt.
Always Kurt. Dependable, smart, witty, and one of the best friends Blaine could ever ask for. He knows that he was the biggest jerk to Kurt, but he still doesn't know the full extent of it. There's still time to evaluate everything in the future.
But right now, all that matters was that Kurt was still there for him, supporting him through this drama (even though he was smugly smiling there, he was still there).
Blaine can't believe his luck in his friends when he sits down at the table and catches up with Kurt. It's like nothing had happened between them, and there's no need to talk about it. They both understand their wrongs and rights in the fight, and they know not to push those buttons again.
-O-
March 2011.
Blaine's story takes a turn. A rather sharp turn, to be exact.
He doesn't understand the reason for it. He's not complaining, either.
There's times when he catches himself staring in the distance at rehearsals, but when he snaps to attention, he realizes what exactly he's looking at.
Oh right. That's his best friend.
…when did he start looking at his best friend like that?
-O-
At first, there's attempts to push away some of the thoughts that enter his mind. Kurt's an attractive guy. Like, really attractive. There's nothing wrong with finding a guy attractive, right? That was how he decided he was gay in the first place. Even so, he didn't think Kurt would begin to attract him as much as he was now.
It's silly to even think that Blaine would be so superficial to not want to like Kurt. But there's an inkling of doubt that lingers in his thoughts whenever he looks at Kurt.
It doesn't help when Kurt needs help being 'sexy.' While Blaine is considered to quite the showman, he himself has about as much experience as Kurt on the relationship front.
He feels like he's failed Kurt somehow, when he completely shuts him out. There's a chance of redemption, however, in confiding in Burt.
While there really were no ulterior motives to talking to Burt, Blaine's hoping that maybe their conversation will make up for the fact that he woke up drunk in Kurt's bed less than a few weeks ago.
Yeah, that wasn't exactly a character defining moment in anybody's eyes.
But Blaine's the kind of person to either show forgiveness in simple ways, or to ask for it wordlessly through his actions. Burt sees this, and while he's wary to trust Blaine, he knows how changed Kurt is because of meeting this boy.
-O-
Kurt may be changed, but in a better way. He less selfish, and thinks more of others before he speaks.
But sometimes, there's times when you just have to speak up. And it's those times when you feel so ridiculously cheated of something that you do so.
Yes, Blaine likes to sing. He likes being the center of attention. It works for him, it really does.
But Kurt's sick of standing in the background and being overshadowed by his friends.
It was like this at McKinley; he shouldn't have expected any different from Dalton. He's still allowed to hope though, right?
-O-
Blaine's not easily moved by things. One of the few things that can move him, however, is good music.
Good music sung by an extremely good-looking boy wearing his heart on his sleeve? Yeah, that can be added to the list of few things.
Actually, just that is the only instance Blaine can put on his list.
There's just something about people who do that which intrigues Blaine to no end.
He breathes a tiny little sigh, one of almost relief as he witnesses one of those life changing moments.
-O-
When something as profound as a newfound realization of love builds up and sits in your chest, it's only a matter of time before you have to relieve your heart of all your feelings.
Fortunately for Blaine, he doesn't actually have to waste very long before he can't take it any longer.
He didn't really intend to profess things at that moment, but the simple question and Kurt's unwaveringly inquisitive eyes made it impossible for him to stay silent.
-O-
"You move me, Kurt."
He had never spoken truer words before. In his head, he had imagined everything to be a lot more, well, romantic, when he made such a speech to Kurt. That was all lost on him now.
But Kurt wouldn't have known the difference. Blaine had claimed to be not being ay good at romance, but this was pretty damn close, in his opinion. There was a proper time and place for rose petals and chocolate hearts, but this wasn't one of them.
It was a different sort of romantic. One of truth and simplicity. Most of the guys they each knew always told them to never tell a girl you like her, because it's lame and makes you look stupid.
Well, Kurt was a boy, so that was an exception, right?
Because Kurt doesn't seem to mind when Blaine leans in close and kisses him once, twice, deep and passionately, purging every ounce of his sentiments into Kurt's lips.
It was so much more than just a kiss. They were finally on the same story, same page.
-O-
They don't immediately try to define whatever they were afterwards. It just didn't feel right. Besides, there was no need to discuss it. They didn't need labels to define their relationship.
But at Pavarotti's burial, they both knew that they were something a lot more than friends. After all, they had shared a few kisses, a few duets, and a few more intimate moments.
"We got each other out of all this."
That was all they needed, just each other. Nothing else really mattered. Kurt wanted the award, but it pales in comparison to what he has with Blaine.
Because Blaine is someone special. There's just something inexplicably wonderful to connect with someone like that, on such a deep level.
He feels wanted, needed. By someone more than just a friend. By someone who likes him for who he is. By someone who is his, solely his.
-O-
April 2011.
They go on real dates now. Ones that are formally arranged and that Blaine asks Kurt on, or Kurt asks Blaine on. It doesn't matter who asks who, though. It just matters that they get to spend the special day together, with only each other.
-O-
Blaine's both surprised and not when Kurt goes up to him one morning before school at his locker and blurts out a piece of news.
"I'm transferring back to McKinley."
It hurts that Kurt can't stay there at Dalton, but the more he thinks about it, the more he realizes Kurt is unhappy there.
It's not that he's unhappy with Blaine (at least that's what he hopes), but that he's outgrown Dalton. He doesn't need the walls of security anymore. He doesn't need to blend in with a group anymore. He's helped the Warblers grow as a group, and in turn, he's grown too.
He's more confident in himself, and he is sure of his choice. He can do it.
And besides, he misses the friends that he left behind. They need him, too.
So Blaine can do nothing but let him go back, because that's what Kurt needs. He can't let himself take anything away from Kurt anymore. He just can't.
-O-
It's hard to see Kurt leave. Blaine had gotten used to seeing him every morning before school, between classes, at lunch, and after school studying in the commons.
He misses the good-morning kisses, the hand holding, the longing looks across the room, the whispered jokes in each other's ears.
"I'll never say goodbye to you."
Why does it feel like the end though?
He feels empty without Kurt. A chunk of his story felt like it was missing, like it was ripped out from the whole.
He gets bored at Dalton. Classes aren't as challenging anymore, and the Warblers aren't the same without Kurt's bright personality to light up the room. He feels dark inside.
The more he thinks about it, the more he knows that Kurt was right about leaving-not that he doubted Kurt's reasons-but that he was beginning to feel the same.
Dalton was like a dream. It was a place of reprieve, one of halcyon and acceptance.
But that wasn't what the real world was like.
Blaine hadn't been a part of the real world in years-he was clueless as to how to act around everybody else. That party was a testament to that-he had gotten insatiably drunk because of his inability to interact with the rest of Kurt's friends.
He feels like a joke. Why was he still there at Dalton? He can't remember. That terrifies him.
It terrifies him because he lets himself remain in the imaginary world of Dalton for no reason.
He was changed since he got to Dalton. Like Kurt, he had recovered from most of his problems. But unlike his boyfriend, he didn't feel strong enough to face the real world.
And that's enough of a reason for Blaine to want to leave. It's more than just an empty feeling without Kurt. It's Blaine's desire to get out of this world while he can.
He doesn't want to be bound to a life of restricted society, with uppity manners and regulated rules of how to live. That life was not for him.
He's done with his parents' friends, their business, their own ways of life.
-O-
May 2011.
He isn't sure if he wanted to tell Kurt about it or not.
He doesn't want to hide it or anything; it's just that he's not sure if he's really to tell Kurt yet. He sort of wants to go through his first day by himself without any help so that he can learn how to survive in the real world.
But then he also sort of wants Kurt there by his side, to help guide him through his day and fill it with secret moments to themselves.
It's too hard of a decision to make in an instant, so he contemplates it for a few days before making his mind up.
-O-
The paperwork is all taken care of. The class arrangements are sorted out. His locker has been chosen.
He doesn't expect it to be done so efficiently, but he supposes that when a kid from a prestigious private school wants to transfer, you just don't say no, do you?
He chooses his clothing carefully, wearing dark, slim fitting jeans and a light blue long sleeved sweater. He's actually quite proud of his choice, because he has the feeling Kurt would approve once he saw him in the halls.
Oh, right. Kurt.
He hasn't told Kurt about the transfer yet. And he feels sick to his stomach with worry in the anticipation for when Kurt does find out.
Yeah, he should have told Kurt.
But that is all erased from his mind when he feels a blast of cold thrown into his face, dripping down his back. His face feels sticky from the slushie dribbling over his face and clothes and hair.
Karofsky and Azimio walk past with empty cups in their hands. "Sup, hipster homo," says Karofsky nonchalantly. Azimio nods in Blaine's direction, like that backs up Karofsky's insult anymore, and they walk away down the hall, high fiving and fist bumping the other guys in the hall.
Blaine stands there in shock. Humiliation sets in, and his eyes dart around, looking for some place to clean up. He doesn't know what to do though.
The raspberry flavored dye starts to burn into his eyes, and he blinks furiously to keep the wet drink from getting in his eyes. He wipes his hand across his face, but then he hears a voice from the end of the hall, chillingly cold.
"What the hell are you doing here?" asks Kurt shrilly. He's walking furiously down the hall towards Blaine, a hard look in his eyes, but then they soften when he gets closer to Blaine.
"Never mind. Just come here and follow me." He turns on his heel and walks to the locker room with Blaine trailing behind.
"You're lucky that I keep a full supply of back up clothes and hair care essentials in my locker," says Kurt, walking over to it and opening it. He pulls out a bottle of shampoo and conditioner and hands them to Blaine. "Now, go and wash your hair out with these."
He sees the look of protest rising in Blaine but he bats it away. "I don't care that you're washing out your gel. You have to get the slushie out or it will make your gel harden worse. And your clothes are going to get all gross and sticky. And you're going to start smelling. Just go."
Kurt hands him a towel and motions towards the shower.
Blaine goes reluctantly to the back of the locker room where the showers are. He turns the knob and waits for the water to heat up before he leans his head in to let the water wash out the gel and food coloring.
Kurt sighs loudly and taps his foot on the floor impatiently, flaring his nostrils.
Blaine takes his head from under the running water and turns to face Kurt. "What's wrong?" he asks, water dripping from his hair mixed with shampoo.
Another sigh from Kurt. "You're doing it wrong." Blaine frowns. "Doing what wrong?" he asks innocently.
"You aren't washing your hair right," he says. "Here, let me do it." Kurt walks over to Blaine and takes makes him wash out the shampoo before taking the bottle and pouring some into his hand, and then he sets on massaging the product into Blaine hair, taking care to thoroughly clean every strand of hair.
At first, Blaine is unsure why Kurt's doing this for him-shouldn't he be mad at Blaine?-but he relaxes into Kurt's fingers as they scrub his scalp and it feels nice.
Before he knows it, he's humming in pleasure from Kurt's hands in his hair, letting Kurt take control of him and do whatever he needs to do to wash Blaine's hair.
The shampoo is washed out and Kurt is working the conditioner into Blaine's hair.
He's silent for a little longer, then speaks up against the sound of water trickling down the drain and pouring out the faucet.
"Why didn't you tell me?" His voice comes out softly, but Blaine can hear the accusation in it. He's glad he can't see Kurt's eyes right now, because he doesn't want to see the hurt in them. He can already feel it in the tone of Kurt's voice.
Blaine thinks for a moment. "I-I don't really know what I was thinking. I wanted to tell you, but I was afraid that I wasn't going to learn anything if I had someone to help me. I really wanted to do it myself, but I guess that didn't work out so well."
Kurt's silent. "I can take care of you, too. You don't have to do everything by yourself. You also could have told me that you didn't want much help from me. I can back off if it would have bothered you. But just know that I want to help you. I know that I over-reacted a little. I like taking care of you, if you'll give me the chance."
Blaine feels a twist in his stomach at Kurt's words. He knows Kurt is right. He doesn't want to admit it to himself, but Kurt really is right.
He's quiet for a moment longer, and says softly, "I guess I don't really mind you taking care of me after all. It is kinda nice. I still don't know what I was thinking though. I guess I thought I would make it a surprise. But it's too late for that, huh?"
Kurt smiles, and rinses the conditioner out of Blaine's hair and rubs the towel over the curls to dry them. There isn't much more to be said; they had come to a wordless conclusion that needed no clarification. Blaine would tell Kurt everything from then on, and Kurt wasn't going to over-react.
-O-
Kurt leads Blaine to the choir room, and Blaine re-learns names. He's met them before, but those weren't exactly his finest moments in front of them.
This time, he's completely vulnerable in front of them, but it's more of his own choice. He could have gone and left to get more hair gel, but he doesn't. He could have borrowed someone else's shirt to keep from wearing the red stain on his own, but he doesn't. He could have given up on McKinley altogether and begged to transfer back to Dalton, but he doesn't.
Instead of hiding his flaws, he wears them proudly on his sleeve. He chooses to stay. And that's what renders him vulnerable in the eyes of the members of New Directions.
They like that. They're all vulnerable in their own way, so why should anyone else get to cover up flaws? It's easier to connect with people that have been through some of the same hardships as you have.
-O-
June 2011.
It doesn't matter that Blaine has only been at McKinley for a month and a half before school is out for summer break.
It's the fact that he's grown as much as he has in those 45 days that makes his time there worthwhile.
He knows he wants to go back there next year. He's gotten attached to everyone there. His new friends, some of his classmates, even his teachers.
Blaine likes being around real people, and that's enough for him to want to stay there.
-O-
Kurt loves summer break. Of course he feels like something is missing, a gap from his heart is gone when he is away from glee club, but he gets to see his friends over the summer.
And his boyfriend. Yeah, that is going to have its perks.
-O-
It's a late and muggy evening late into June, nearly July, and Kurt and Blaine have the house to themselves.
Burt and Carole treated themselves to a date with dinner, a movie, and shopping afterwards.
Finn is with Quinn. Or is it Rachel? Kurt can't keep track which one Finn is fighting with at the moment because every other day, one of them will be crying their eyes out on the phone with Finn as he awkwardly tries to hang up.
So this is the first time, ever, that Kurt and Blaine have any real alone time.
Surprisingly enough, they plan to simply make dinner and cuddle up on the couch watching a movie.
They eat, and the movie is playing on the TV in Kurt's room, but they're not paying any attention to it whatsoever. They're too busy wrapped up in each other, tasting each other as if for the first time all over again.
It's nothing but hot and heavy kisses, knocking teeth, and crashing lips. There's not enough of Blaine for Kurt, and not enough Kurt for Blaine. They need each other-and only feel more complete the closer they get to one another.
Hands roam around, unbuttoning shirts and daring to unzip pants for the first time. Blaine breaks away to look into Kurt's eyes, to make sure that they were traveling down the right path.
Kurt doesn't say anything, but his eyes are dark with pleading for more. He doesn't care anymore about being a prude-he wants Blaine, and he wants him now.
Blaine obliges and it is nothing like Kurt had ever felt before. The indescribable pleasure of being touched by Blaine is enough to send him reeling. His mind crashes, he's gasping loudly and jarringly; his mind is unable to compute anything coherent.
He takes a while to let himself come down from the paradise in his mind and body, and puts his hands to Blaine, who doesn't ask for it, but Kurt sees the plea in his eyes.
Somehow, they move to the bed in the process, and lay there wrapped in each other's arms for a while until one of them speaks up that they need to clean up.
-O-
July 2011.
It's July and it's hot outside. Kurt is home by himself. Blaine is on vacation with his parents in London, and Kurt can't stop thinking about Blaine.
He misses his boyfriend. It's worse than being apart for a day or two-this is two whole weeks, and Blaine is in another country.
Of course Blaine offers for Kurt to go, but Kurt declines. He wants Blaine to be able to spend quality time with his parents, and maybe come to terms with them on some things.
Blaine is upset that Kurt doesn't want to go, but he gets that Kurt wants him to have a good relationship with his parents.
It's hard, though. It's hard to be with his parents when he knows they don't care about what he does. It's hard to be in another country without Kurt.
-O-
When Blaine gets back, there's another moment of flurried greetings and hastened kisses when they see each other alone.
It's as if they haven't been apart at all. Their bodies meld themselves to each other instantly, clothes becoming an issue. But they take it slowly. There's the rest of the summer for those things, and Kurt just wants to catch up with Blaine.
So Kurt reluctantly pushes him away and asks him questions about the trip. Blaine's insistent though, and it's extremely difficult for Kurt to concentrate on getting Blaine to answer his questions.
"Blaine," he says breathlessly. "Blaine, I need you to stop."
The heavy kiss is broken and Blaine's looking at Kurt with heavily lidded eyes, weighed down by jetlag and desire. "Wh-why?" he stammers. All Kurt can see is the confusion and tiredness reflected back at him.
"I think we should do this another time. I'm beyond thrilled to see you, but I want to know about your trip. And you need to sleep first. I can see how exhausted you are."
Blaine shakes his head languidly. "Nah, I'm not tired. I've missed you so much though, and I need to see you." He attempts brushing a hand up between Kurt's legs, but his hand is batted away. Blaine yawns. "Why are you making this so difficult?" he asks.
Kurt rolls his eyes. "Blaine, you're not thinking straight. I would really prefer you get some sleep before we continue. I'd rather have my boyfriend conscious when we do things like this. Just go to sleep."
The protest is still in Blaine's eyes, but they slide closer to being closed, and he eventually nods and moves to the couch and lays down there. Within a few minutes, his mouth is gaping open and he's snoring.
Kurt stifles back a laugh when he sees this, but really who wouldn't laugh? Blaine may put on a front for everyone, a well-turned out shield of emotions, but really, he is just like everyone else, who snores in their sleep and makes funny faces when he doesn't realize it.
Kurt considers himself to be the luckiest guy to find someone like Blaine.
Blaine can't help but dream the same thing about Kurt.
-O-
September 2011.
The first day back at McKinley is uneventful, but expected. Everybody by then is used to the fact that there's a gay couple at the school, and if they wanted peace, they would just have to deal with it.
Over the summer, Karofsky outs himself for good. Kurt doesn't know why, exactly, but he feels a whole lot safer knowing that the bullies won't be there to make his life a miserable hell.
-O-
October 2011.
Halloween brings a time for mischief, and Kurt thoroughly enjoys the excuse to dress up in wild and fantastic costumes for parties and Blaine.
Yet, he has an idea.
-O-
The party ends up being incredibly boring, but everyone who went agreed that the highlight of the night was Kurt and Blaine's costumes.
Kurt takes two white t-shirts, one for each of them, and screens half of a barcode on each of them.
When people show signs of confusion at their costumes, all Kurt and Blaine have to do is find each other, slip an arm behind the other's back and say simply "We're an item."
And as much as Blaine would have liked to see Kurt in a killer costume, he appreciates Kurt for including him in his idea.
Also, Kurt's skin tight black jeans look like they're practically painted onto him, so Blaine had absolutely no complaints there.
-O-
November 2011.
Things have changed since that day in the stairwell at Dalton.
Kurt gains confidence, finds a best friend, and takes charge of his own life.
Blaine meets the boy of his dreams, falls in love, and learns to accept his own mistakes, and makes up for them.
In a year, they go from formal friends to being the only thing that keeps each other going.
-O-
Blaine takes Kurt out to dinner and a movie, but the date doesn't really matter. The dinner was kind of bland, and the movie was what you would expect from any cheesy Kate Hudson flick these days.
Afterwards, however, Blaine has more planned. He drives the two hours to Westerville and pulls up at Dalton. It's already midnight, but it's the weekend and Burt and Carole are out of town, so Kurt has no curfew. Finn is at Puck's house with a few of the other guys from school. Blaine doesn't care where his parents are, and he knows that they don't really care where he is either, as long as he stays out of trouble.
"No. Way," says Kurt. "No. We are so getting in trouble for this."
Blaine shakes his head. "What they don't know won't hurt us."
He grabs Kurt's hand and they sneak in through the back entrance. Blaine finds the choir room and they slip inside, both remembering what it felt like to be there. It seems so long ago.
Blaine sits at the piano and gestures for Kurt to come and sit beside him.
"I know this may seem silly, but this song really means a lot to me, and I know it does to you." Blaine looks like he's on the verge on rambling, so he stops before he really gets started and begins playing a slowed down and simple version.
Kurt can do nothing but sit there and smile. A year ago, this song was what introduced him to this amazing person. Blaine had been a flirt, and Kurt fell for it.
But now, a year later, Blaine was singing the same song with an entirely different meaning. He pours his heart out in the way his fingers glide over the black and white keys and the way he switches between gently crooning the lyrics or belting them out for the world to hear.
He finishes the song, and Kurt meets him in a tender kiss.
Blaine pulls away, eyes glittering with love and adoration and desire, and stares at Kurt.
"Why me?" he asks.
Kurt thinks for a moment before answering. He thinks of all the relationships he has ever encountered, of his own and the ones of his friends.
Each person you interact with, it's as if there's a perfect stone circle that represents that relationship. Every interaction determines whether or not the stone breaks a little bit.
Some people's stones have so many chips in them, they're irreparable. A rude comment tossed in a conversation. Chink. There goes a little bit of that rock.
The stones in Kurt's life have a lot of cracks, chips, and scratches on them. Some have even been broken altogether.
But the one that has Blaine's name on it, the one he treasures most dearly, has very little scratches on them.
Yes, there's flaws, but it's how Kurt and Blaine make up for them that keep the imperfections from spreading.
Kurt's glad that he has this one stone in his life that stays unbroken.
"Because you're you, and I'm me," he says simply. "Everything about you is what I've always looked for. I didn't expect to find it in you, but I did. And what we have works. It works, and even if we have any troubles, I'm not giving up, because you're the one thing in my life that I worked for, and I ended up with you."
The look of relief and overwhelming reciprocation shows itself in Blaine's face, and Kurt knows he feels the same. He smiles, and cups Blaine's face in with his hands and pull him close, touching noses to each other's before diving in, gently.
It doesn't stay gentle for long, though. Their mouths are frenzied against each other's, and the bench seems too small for them. They don't realize it, however, until they're scooting further down, and all of a sudden, Blaine falls on his back, and Kurt is a heap on top of him.
Blaine laughs loudly, the mood a little ruined, but he pushes up on his elbows. "We should probably take this somewhere else," he says a bit quieter. Kurt gets up off of him and grabs his hand, leading him towards the doors and out through the school.
"I couldn't agree more."
-O-
June 2081.
Kurt's a lot older now. His hair turns white and he passes his time in bed. He's sick, but it doesn't matter.
The last year has been rough.
He still wears his wedding band, though. It's a reminder to him that the last seventy years were real, not just something made up in his head.
The picture on his nightstand is old, frayed at the corners, and the colors have faded somewhat.
It once hung in his locker, above a little cutout collage of the word "courage".
That courage still hasn't left him.
He knows it's his time. It's been his time for a while now, but he's been strong for Blaine. He knew that grief couldn't kill him, so he waits until his body is ready to go with his heart.
-O-
He passes away in his sleep.
-O-
He's buried next to Blaine, in a small but pretty cemetery with green grass and bright flowers.
The phrase on Blaine's stone sits unfinished for a year now, until the words on Kurt's stone completes it.
"No regrets.
Just love."
Title: Some Sort Of Happy Place
Rating: R
Spoilers: Up through BTW, but with my own headcanon thrown in.
Word count: 7,734
Summary: Canon up until Original songs, where it turns AU. Takes us through a year of what the relationship of Kurt and Blaine is like.
Author's note: Okay, so I started this a couple of weeks ago and it turned into this monster, but I'm happy with it. I can't tell you how relieved I am that I finally finished it, because I have not been able to get this out of my mind since I started. Anyways, here is what a random thought at school turned into. The quote I used I saw on Tumblr to describe Klaine's relationship. I fell in love with it and put it here as a little preface to the little preface. This is originally posted by me on FF.net under drumblonde.
I do not own anything.
Enjoy!
"Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back. Those who wish to sing always find a song. At the touch of a lover, everyone becomes a poet."
Plato
-O-
A moment can define a lifetime of choices, ones that are either outlined by fate or made of one's own free will. It's these moments that build upon each other to form the stories, the chapters of our lives. When one chapter finishes, another begins right in its place.
The prologue is life as it was known before we are all born, the lives of our parents, and the lives of our parent's parents. It goes on and on, because our stories are all interconnected. There is no final chapter to our stories either, because the epilogue makes up our children's lives, just as the chapters in our stories are made of the epilogues of our ancestors.
-O-
November 2010.
It's a life defining moment when Kurt descends the steps of the wide staircase, and asks another student a simple question. Neither of them really knew it at the time, nor will they ever realize it for years to come, but the shake of a hand, mention of a name, and sparkling eyes lead to a long road of interactions, complete with twists, turns, and the occasional cross roads.
A song is sung, eyes meet, and a heart melts. Words of advice are shared, and then their lives disentangle themselves for a while, because Kurt has to return back to Lima, and Blaine remains in Westerville.
It's only the first time their paths cross, but already there's a magnetic quality of the way they react to each other, and it's not long before more words of comfort and advice are given.
-O-
A slam of fists against a locker, and there is a defining moment in the crossing stories of Dave Karofsky and Kurt Hummel. But their stories have no relation in them, except for the happenchance that a life will be changed.
Kurt can't fix Dave; he can't give him the strength and stability he needs to be confident and proud of himself. All he can offer is the function to highlight the rest of his story and press delete, because that moment makes Dave re-evaluate things.
It's not Kurt, and Dave knows it. However, they're both changed from that encounter, in different ways. Dave's task is to find himself. Kurt's is to find safety and friendship in a place where he can be who he is, without fear of more hurt.
Dave's story is changed forever, but Kurt's story is opened up to a new world of acceptance that is a balm to his pain.
The stories cross paths, but they will never intersect meaningfully again. What comes after that is pure chance made of their own decisions.
-O-
December 2010.
Winter's chill gives a good opportunity to succeed in whatever you set your mind to. There's less distractions in the outside world, so whatever is found on the inside is what you're left to take advantage of.
Kurt does his homework, counting the days until he can return to the warmth and magic of his home. He can't wait to resume traditions, because while he is one for change, it's hard to let go of the times when he was young and happy. It's his way of remembering, and it's enough for him and his dad.
The interruption is welcomed, though. The workload has been getting increasingly higher, and Kurt needs some time to relax for a minute and let his mind wander someplace else.
He doesn't think that he would come to such a realization then.
He doesn't mean to say it aloud.
He doesn't mean to fall so hard, so fast for his friend.
-O-
January 2011.
Kurt doesn't say anything, but everyday he hopes for a sign that he is not in vain, that somehow Blaine is secretly harboring feelings for him.
-O-
February 2011.
Daily coffee outings. Or dates? Kurt is confused by the lack of a defining word there to help him learn where exactly they stand in a friendship.
He's not a fool-or so he thinks-because he can see the way Blaine is different around him than the other Warblers.
Blaine smiles a little brighter, laughs a little louder, talks with a little more enthusiasm.
It's almost too much when one day Blaine orders Kurt's coffee for him, and the simple response when asked about it.
"Of course I do."
That wasn't something platonic friends do, right?
Kurt isn't sure, so he doesn't press his luck. Instead, he smiles on and hopes for the day when maybe his wishes come true.
-O-
"The guy I like is a junior manager at the Gap."
Kurt's heart sinks. He feels as though he has come down with a violent bout of the stomach flu, and he wants to excuse himself.
However, he can't leave. He can't confuse Blaine after he just said what he did about performing off-campus. It would be cruel to say one thing, then go against it and leave someone hanging in the midst of promised and encouraging words.
But hasn't Blaine already done that to Kurt?
Kurt can't bring himself to believe that, because somehow he thinks that Blaine had no intentions of hurting him in the first place. But it's hard to think straight when your heart is breaking right in front of the person you admire the most.
-O-
"I really am clueless."
"I really, really care about you."
"I don't want to screw this up."
Those words seem to break him even more than the confession in the common rooms or the scene in the Gap. But Kurt smiles on again, and offers a bit of levity to their conversation, because that's just what he does when he's hurt. Someday, he'll be able to go past the walls he puts up and try to get through to Blaine and tell him how he hurts, but not today.
Nor tomorrow, or even the day after. For now, he wants to go back to the way they were before.
-O-
It's easy to get back into the regular rhythm of things once he starts letting go of the awkwardness. Kurt's stopped thinking that every single thing he does is something weird to Blaine and lets his story write itself.
-O-
But then there's a cliffhanger, the ones that come out of nowhere to keep the audience involved. They're impossible to miss, so when Blaine is having an identity crisis after a drunken night kissing Rachel, Kurt is more than surprised.
It's more than the jealousy and heartbreak again, though. This time it's the fact that his steady stone of courage doubts his own self. Wondering if his defined sexuality is even valid.
Kurt is offended, but so is Blaine, who thought he'd have his best friend's support. He was wrong in almost every single way, and Kurt is there to try and correct him, but for once Blaine can't take all the corrections in his life.
From his parents, his teachers, everyone around him; always correcting and never once did they concur with him. It hits harder to home though, that Kurt is correcting him.
Kurt is his best friend. He's the only person who can really understand what he goes through and went through at his old school. His own stone of friendship with Kurt feels like it's crumbling into dust when he makes the choice to get up and walk away.
He wants to say hurtful things back at Kurt, but he can't bring himself to do it. But he says the next thing that comes to mind, and it is aimed at the very core of their disagreement.
Of course it hurts, but Blaine has already left before he can see the effect it has on Kurt. The coffee sitting in front of him is soon diluted with the melancholy taste of silent and angry tears, and Kurt gets up to throw it away.
He's almost out the door to go home when the barista flags him down, with a fresh cup of steaming coffee in her hand.
He's confused, but doesn't say anything, just stares at her for a second with a furrowed look showing his confusion.
"I thought you might like a new cup of coffee. It tastes better without tears in it, trust me." She smiles sadly at him and hands him the cup.
He accepts the cup graciously, but he doesn't want her pity. "Thank you, but-"
"He's an idiot, sometimes. I've seen the way you look at him. I've seen him look at you that way, more than once," she tells him quietly. Kurt isn't sure where she's going with this, so he nods and starts to turn away and heads out the door.
She calls after him a little louder. "He'll come around, though. I can tell he will."
Kurt doesn't turn around to answer her because he's trying to get out of there as quickly as he can, so he won't spoil another perfectly good cup of coffee.
-O-
After the cliffhanger usually comes the revelation of some sort. So while there was a brief period of panic and altogether scared feelings, Blaine comes to his soon after.
Kurt's relieved, and so is Blaine. Blaine is so, because as soon as he's done with that conversation with Kurt, he sits in his car and screams.
He screams to let out all the anger and frustration at the pressure his parents put on him.
The need to be a model student. The need to be a good person. The need to be the perfect, straight son of wealthy business owners.
All these needs added up to make a Blaine that wasn't real. A hologram that he puts up when around his parents to make them think that he has changed, after all.
The date with Rachel was his glimmer of hope, that maybe he could be the perfect son his parents always wanted. That maybe he had gone through a stage of experimenting. That maybe he would feel normal.
But he's strangely relieved when he figures it out for real. It's a form of rebellion, almost, that he can control an aspect in his life that his parents cannot, despite their efforts.
They can shove all the beliefs and sayings up his ass all they want, but nothing and nobody can change who he is.
-O-
Reconciliation should never be taken for granted. Neither should a friendship, for that matter, but it's the forgiveness and reunion that really brings all the highest points of a friendship into focus.
Between Kurt and Blaine, coming back together is surprisingly easy. Kurt doesn't need to bring anything up to Blaine, and neither does Blaine. There's no need to.
Instead, they pick up right where they left off. Blaine returns from the bathroom and finds that Rachel has already gone, but in her place is Kurt.
Always Kurt. Dependable, smart, witty, and one of the best friends Blaine could ever ask for. He knows that he was the biggest jerk to Kurt, but he still doesn't know the full extent of it. There's still time to evaluate everything in the future.
But right now, all that matters was that Kurt was still there for him, supporting him through this drama (even though he was smugly smiling there, he was still there).
Blaine can't believe his luck in his friends when he sits down at the table and catches up with Kurt. It's like nothing had happened between them, and there's no need to talk about it. They both understand their wrongs and rights in the fight, and they know not to push those buttons again.
-O-
March 2011.
Blaine's story takes a turn. A rather sharp turn, to be exact.
He doesn't understand the reason for it. He's not complaining, either.
There's times when he catches himself staring in the distance at rehearsals, but when he snaps to attention, he realizes what exactly he's looking at.
Oh right. That's his best friend.
…when did he start looking at his best friend like that?
-O-
At first, there's attempts to push away some of the thoughts that enter his mind. Kurt's an attractive guy. Like, really attractive. There's nothing wrong with finding a guy attractive, right? That was how he decided he was gay in the first place. Even so, he didn't think Kurt would begin to attract him as much as he was now.
It's silly to even think that Blaine would be so superficial to not want to like Kurt. But there's an inkling of doubt that lingers in his thoughts whenever he looks at Kurt.
It doesn't help when Kurt needs help being 'sexy.' While Blaine is considered to quite the showman, he himself has about as much experience as Kurt on the relationship front.
He feels like he's failed Kurt somehow, when he completely shuts him out. There's a chance of redemption, however, in confiding in Burt.
While there really were no ulterior motives to talking to Burt, Blaine's hoping that maybe their conversation will make up for the fact that he woke up drunk in Kurt's bed less than a few weeks ago.
Yeah, that wasn't exactly a character defining moment in anybody's eyes.
But Blaine's the kind of person to either show forgiveness in simple ways, or to ask for it wordlessly through his actions. Burt sees this, and while he's wary to trust Blaine, he knows how changed Kurt is because of meeting this boy.
-O-
Kurt may be changed, but in a better way. He less selfish, and thinks more of others before he speaks.
But sometimes, there's times when you just have to speak up. And it's those times when you feel so ridiculously cheated of something that you do so.
Yes, Blaine likes to sing. He likes being the center of attention. It works for him, it really does.
But Kurt's sick of standing in the background and being overshadowed by his friends.
It was like this at McKinley; he shouldn't have expected any different from Dalton. He's still allowed to hope though, right?
-O-
Blaine's not easily moved by things. One of the few things that can move him, however, is good music.
Good music sung by an extremely good-looking boy wearing his heart on his sleeve? Yeah, that can be added to the list of few things.
Actually, just that is the only instance Blaine can put on his list.
There's just something about people who do that which intrigues Blaine to no end.
He breathes a tiny little sigh, one of almost relief as he witnesses one of those life changing moments.
-O-
When something as profound as a newfound realization of love builds up and sits in your chest, it's only a matter of time before you have to relieve your heart of all your feelings.
Fortunately for Blaine, he doesn't actually have to waste very long before he can't take it any longer.
He didn't really intend to profess things at that moment, but the simple question and Kurt's unwaveringly inquisitive eyes made it impossible for him to stay silent.
-O-
"You move me, Kurt."
He had never spoken truer words before. In his head, he had imagined everything to be a lot more, well, romantic, when he made such a speech to Kurt. That was all lost on him now.
But Kurt wouldn't have known the difference. Blaine had claimed to be not being ay good at romance, but this was pretty damn close, in his opinion. There was a proper time and place for rose petals and chocolate hearts, but this wasn't one of them.
It was a different sort of romantic. One of truth and simplicity. Most of the guys they each knew always told them to never tell a girl you like her, because it's lame and makes you look stupid.
Well, Kurt was a boy, so that was an exception, right?
Because Kurt doesn't seem to mind when Blaine leans in close and kisses him once, twice, deep and passionately, purging every ounce of his sentiments into Kurt's lips.
It was so much more than just a kiss. They were finally on the same story, same page.
-O-
They don't immediately try to define whatever they were afterwards. It just didn't feel right. Besides, there was no need to discuss it. They didn't need labels to define their relationship.
But at Pavarotti's burial, they both knew that they were something a lot more than friends. After all, they had shared a few kisses, a few duets, and a few more intimate moments.
"We got each other out of all this."
That was all they needed, just each other. Nothing else really mattered. Kurt wanted the award, but it pales in comparison to what he has with Blaine.
Because Blaine is someone special. There's just something inexplicably wonderful to connect with someone like that, on such a deep level.
He feels wanted, needed. By someone more than just a friend. By someone who likes him for who he is. By someone who is his, solely his.
-O-
April 2011.
They go on real dates now. Ones that are formally arranged and that Blaine asks Kurt on, or Kurt asks Blaine on. It doesn't matter who asks who, though. It just matters that they get to spend the special day together, with only each other.
-O-
Blaine's both surprised and not when Kurt goes up to him one morning before school at his locker and blurts out a piece of news.
"I'm transferring back to McKinley."
It hurts that Kurt can't stay there at Dalton, but the more he thinks about it, the more he realizes Kurt is unhappy there.
It's not that he's unhappy with Blaine (at least that's what he hopes), but that he's outgrown Dalton. He doesn't need the walls of security anymore. He doesn't need to blend in with a group anymore. He's helped the Warblers grow as a group, and in turn, he's grown too.
He's more confident in himself, and he is sure of his choice. He can do it.
And besides, he misses the friends that he left behind. They need him, too.
So Blaine can do nothing but let him go back, because that's what Kurt needs. He can't let himself take anything away from Kurt anymore. He just can't.
-O-
It's hard to see Kurt leave. Blaine had gotten used to seeing him every morning before school, between classes, at lunch, and after school studying in the commons.
He misses the good-morning kisses, the hand holding, the longing looks across the room, the whispered jokes in each other's ears.
"I'll never say goodbye to you."
Why does it feel like the end though?
He feels empty without Kurt. A chunk of his story felt like it was missing, like it was ripped out from the whole.
He gets bored at Dalton. Classes aren't as challenging anymore, and the Warblers aren't the same without Kurt's bright personality to light up the room. He feels dark inside.
The more he thinks about it, the more he knows that Kurt was right about leaving-not that he doubted Kurt's reasons-but that he was beginning to feel the same.
Dalton was like a dream. It was a place of reprieve, one of halcyon and acceptance.
But that wasn't what the real world was like.
Blaine hadn't been a part of the real world in years-he was clueless as to how to act around everybody else. That party was a testament to that-he had gotten insatiably drunk because of his inability to interact with the rest of Kurt's friends.
He feels like a joke. Why was he still there at Dalton? He can't remember. That terrifies him.
It terrifies him because he lets himself remain in the imaginary world of Dalton for no reason.
He was changed since he got to Dalton. Like Kurt, he had recovered from most of his problems. But unlike his boyfriend, he didn't feel strong enough to face the real world.
And that's enough of a reason for Blaine to want to leave. It's more than just an empty feeling without Kurt. It's Blaine's desire to get out of this world while he can.
He doesn't want to be bound to a life of restricted society, with uppity manners and regulated rules of how to live. That life was not for him.
He's done with his parents' friends, their business, their own ways of life.
-O-
May 2011.
He isn't sure if he wanted to tell Kurt about it or not.
He doesn't want to hide it or anything; it's just that he's not sure if he's really to tell Kurt yet. He sort of wants to go through his first day by himself without any help so that he can learn how to survive in the real world.
But then he also sort of wants Kurt there by his side, to help guide him through his day and fill it with secret moments to themselves.
It's too hard of a decision to make in an instant, so he contemplates it for a few days before making his mind up.
-O-
The paperwork is all taken care of. The class arrangements are sorted out. His locker has been chosen.
He doesn't expect it to be done so efficiently, but he supposes that when a kid from a prestigious private school wants to transfer, you just don't say no, do you?
He chooses his clothing carefully, wearing dark, slim fitting jeans and a light blue long sleeved sweater. He's actually quite proud of his choice, because he has the feeling Kurt would approve once he saw him in the halls.
Oh, right. Kurt.
He hasn't told Kurt about the transfer yet. And he feels sick to his stomach with worry in the anticipation for when Kurt does find out.
Yeah, he should have told Kurt.
But that is all erased from his mind when he feels a blast of cold thrown into his face, dripping down his back. His face feels sticky from the slushie dribbling over his face and clothes and hair.
Karofsky and Azimio walk past with empty cups in their hands. "Sup, hipster homo," says Karofsky nonchalantly. Azimio nods in Blaine's direction, like that backs up Karofsky's insult anymore, and they walk away down the hall, high fiving and fist bumping the other guys in the hall.
Blaine stands there in shock. Humiliation sets in, and his eyes dart around, looking for some place to clean up. He doesn't know what to do though.
The raspberry flavored dye starts to burn into his eyes, and he blinks furiously to keep the wet drink from getting in his eyes. He wipes his hand across his face, but then he hears a voice from the end of the hall, chillingly cold.
"What the hell are you doing here?" asks Kurt shrilly. He's walking furiously down the hall towards Blaine, a hard look in his eyes, but then they soften when he gets closer to Blaine.
"Never mind. Just come here and follow me." He turns on his heel and walks to the locker room with Blaine trailing behind.
"You're lucky that I keep a full supply of back up clothes and hair care essentials in my locker," says Kurt, walking over to it and opening it. He pulls out a bottle of shampoo and conditioner and hands them to Blaine. "Now, go and wash your hair out with these."
He sees the look of protest rising in Blaine but he bats it away. "I don't care that you're washing out your gel. You have to get the slushie out or it will make your gel harden worse. And your clothes are going to get all gross and sticky. And you're going to start smelling. Just go."
Kurt hands him a towel and motions towards the shower.
Blaine goes reluctantly to the back of the locker room where the showers are. He turns the knob and waits for the water to heat up before he leans his head in to let the water wash out the gel and food coloring.
Kurt sighs loudly and taps his foot on the floor impatiently, flaring his nostrils.
Blaine takes his head from under the running water and turns to face Kurt. "What's wrong?" he asks, water dripping from his hair mixed with shampoo.
Another sigh from Kurt. "You're doing it wrong." Blaine frowns. "Doing what wrong?" he asks innocently.
"You aren't washing your hair right," he says. "Here, let me do it." Kurt walks over to Blaine and takes makes him wash out the shampoo before taking the bottle and pouring some into his hand, and then he sets on massaging the product into Blaine hair, taking care to thoroughly clean every strand of hair.
At first, Blaine is unsure why Kurt's doing this for him-shouldn't he be mad at Blaine?-but he relaxes into Kurt's fingers as they scrub his scalp and it feels nice.
Before he knows it, he's humming in pleasure from Kurt's hands in his hair, letting Kurt take control of him and do whatever he needs to do to wash Blaine's hair.
The shampoo is washed out and Kurt is working the conditioner into Blaine's hair.
He's silent for a little longer, then speaks up against the sound of water trickling down the drain and pouring out the faucet.
"Why didn't you tell me?" His voice comes out softly, but Blaine can hear the accusation in it. He's glad he can't see Kurt's eyes right now, because he doesn't want to see the hurt in them. He can already feel it in the tone of Kurt's voice.
Blaine thinks for a moment. "I-I don't really know what I was thinking. I wanted to tell you, but I was afraid that I wasn't going to learn anything if I had someone to help me. I really wanted to do it myself, but I guess that didn't work out so well."
Kurt's silent. "I can take care of you, too. You don't have to do everything by yourself. You also could have told me that you didn't want much help from me. I can back off if it would have bothered you. But just know that I want to help you. I know that I over-reacted a little. I like taking care of you, if you'll give me the chance."
Blaine feels a twist in his stomach at Kurt's words. He knows Kurt is right. He doesn't want to admit it to himself, but Kurt really is right.
He's quiet for a moment longer, and says softly, "I guess I don't really mind you taking care of me after all. It is kinda nice. I still don't know what I was thinking though. I guess I thought I would make it a surprise. But it's too late for that, huh?"
Kurt smiles, and rinses the conditioner out of Blaine's hair and rubs the towel over the curls to dry them. There isn't much more to be said; they had come to a wordless conclusion that needed no clarification. Blaine would tell Kurt everything from then on, and Kurt wasn't going to over-react.
-O-
Kurt leads Blaine to the choir room, and Blaine re-learns names. He's met them before, but those weren't exactly his finest moments in front of them.
This time, he's completely vulnerable in front of them, but it's more of his own choice. He could have gone and left to get more hair gel, but he doesn't. He could have borrowed someone else's shirt to keep from wearing the red stain on his own, but he doesn't. He could have given up on McKinley altogether and begged to transfer back to Dalton, but he doesn't.
Instead of hiding his flaws, he wears them proudly on his sleeve. He chooses to stay. And that's what renders him vulnerable in the eyes of the members of New Directions.
They like that. They're all vulnerable in their own way, so why should anyone else get to cover up flaws? It's easier to connect with people that have been through some of the same hardships as you have.
-O-
June 2011.
It doesn't matter that Blaine has only been at McKinley for a month and a half before school is out for summer break.
It's the fact that he's grown as much as he has in those 45 days that makes his time there worthwhile.
He knows he wants to go back there next year. He's gotten attached to everyone there. His new friends, some of his classmates, even his teachers.
Blaine likes being around real people, and that's enough for him to want to stay there.
-O-
Kurt loves summer break. Of course he feels like something is missing, a gap from his heart is gone when he is away from glee club, but he gets to see his friends over the summer.
And his boyfriend. Yeah, that is going to have its perks.
-O-
It's a late and muggy evening late into June, nearly July, and Kurt and Blaine have the house to themselves.
Burt and Carole treated themselves to a date with dinner, a movie, and shopping afterwards.
Finn is with Quinn. Or is it Rachel? Kurt can't keep track which one Finn is fighting with at the moment because every other day, one of them will be crying their eyes out on the phone with Finn as he awkwardly tries to hang up.
So this is the first time, ever, that Kurt and Blaine have any real alone time.
Surprisingly enough, they plan to simply make dinner and cuddle up on the couch watching a movie.
They eat, and the movie is playing on the TV in Kurt's room, but they're not paying any attention to it whatsoever. They're too busy wrapped up in each other, tasting each other as if for the first time all over again.
It's nothing but hot and heavy kisses, knocking teeth, and crashing lips. There's not enough of Blaine for Kurt, and not enough Kurt for Blaine. They need each other-and only feel more complete the closer they get to one another.
Hands roam around, unbuttoning shirts and daring to unzip pants for the first time. Blaine breaks away to look into Kurt's eyes, to make sure that they were traveling down the right path.
Kurt doesn't say anything, but his eyes are dark with pleading for more. He doesn't care anymore about being a prude-he wants Blaine, and he wants him now.
Blaine obliges and it is nothing like Kurt had ever felt before. The indescribable pleasure of being touched by Blaine is enough to send him reeling. His mind crashes, he's gasping loudly and jarringly; his mind is unable to compute anything coherent.
He takes a while to let himself come down from the paradise in his mind and body, and puts his hands to Blaine, who doesn't ask for it, but Kurt sees the plea in his eyes.
Somehow, they move to the bed in the process, and lay there wrapped in each other's arms for a while until one of them speaks up that they need to clean up.
-O-
July 2011.
It's July and it's hot outside. Kurt is home by himself. Blaine is on vacation with his parents in London, and Kurt can't stop thinking about Blaine.
He misses his boyfriend. It's worse than being apart for a day or two-this is two whole weeks, and Blaine is in another country.
Of course Blaine offers for Kurt to go, but Kurt declines. He wants Blaine to be able to spend quality time with his parents, and maybe come to terms with them on some things.
Blaine is upset that Kurt doesn't want to go, but he gets that Kurt wants him to have a good relationship with his parents.
It's hard, though. It's hard to be with his parents when he knows they don't care about what he does. It's hard to be in another country without Kurt.
-O-
When Blaine gets back, there's another moment of flurried greetings and hastened kisses when they see each other alone.
It's as if they haven't been apart at all. Their bodies meld themselves to each other instantly, clothes becoming an issue. But they take it slowly. There's the rest of the summer for those things, and Kurt just wants to catch up with Blaine.
So Kurt reluctantly pushes him away and asks him questions about the trip. Blaine's insistent though, and it's extremely difficult for Kurt to concentrate on getting Blaine to answer his questions.
"Blaine," he says breathlessly. "Blaine, I need you to stop."
The heavy kiss is broken and Blaine's looking at Kurt with heavily lidded eyes, weighed down by jetlag and desire. "Wh-why?" he stammers. All Kurt can see is the confusion and tiredness reflected back at him.
"I think we should do this another time. I'm beyond thrilled to see you, but I want to know about your trip. And you need to sleep first. I can see how exhausted you are."
Blaine shakes his head languidly. "Nah, I'm not tired. I've missed you so much though, and I need to see you." He attempts brushing a hand up between Kurt's legs, but his hand is batted away. Blaine yawns. "Why are you making this so difficult?" he asks.
Kurt rolls his eyes. "Blaine, you're not thinking straight. I would really prefer you get some sleep before we continue. I'd rather have my boyfriend conscious when we do things like this. Just go to sleep."
The protest is still in Blaine's eyes, but they slide closer to being closed, and he eventually nods and moves to the couch and lays down there. Within a few minutes, his mouth is gaping open and he's snoring.
Kurt stifles back a laugh when he sees this, but really who wouldn't laugh? Blaine may put on a front for everyone, a well-turned out shield of emotions, but really, he is just like everyone else, who snores in their sleep and makes funny faces when he doesn't realize it.
Kurt considers himself to be the luckiest guy to find someone like Blaine.
Blaine can't help but dream the same thing about Kurt.
-O-
September 2011.
The first day back at McKinley is uneventful, but expected. Everybody by then is used to the fact that there's a gay couple at the school, and if they wanted peace, they would just have to deal with it.
Over the summer, Karofsky outs himself for good. Kurt doesn't know why, exactly, but he feels a whole lot safer knowing that the bullies won't be there to make his life a miserable hell.
-O-
October 2011.
Halloween brings a time for mischief, and Kurt thoroughly enjoys the excuse to dress up in wild and fantastic costumes for parties and Blaine.
Yet, he has an idea.
-O-
The party ends up being incredibly boring, but everyone who went agreed that the highlight of the night was Kurt and Blaine's costumes.
Kurt takes two white t-shirts, one for each of them, and screens half of a barcode on each of them.
When people show signs of confusion at their costumes, all Kurt and Blaine have to do is find each other, slip an arm behind the other's back and say simply "We're an item."
And as much as Blaine would have liked to see Kurt in a killer costume, he appreciates Kurt for including him in his idea.
Also, Kurt's skin tight black jeans look like they're practically painted onto him, so Blaine had absolutely no complaints there.
-O-
November 2011.
Things have changed since that day in the stairwell at Dalton.
Kurt gains confidence, finds a best friend, and takes charge of his own life.
Blaine meets the boy of his dreams, falls in love, and learns to accept his own mistakes, and makes up for them.
In a year, they go from formal friends to being the only thing that keeps each other going.
-O-
Blaine takes Kurt out to dinner and a movie, but the date doesn't really matter. The dinner was kind of bland, and the movie was what you would expect from any cheesy Kate Hudson flick these days.
Afterwards, however, Blaine has more planned. He drives the two hours to Westerville and pulls up at Dalton. It's already midnight, but it's the weekend and Burt and Carole are out of town, so Kurt has no curfew. Finn is at Puck's house with a few of the other guys from school. Blaine doesn't care where his parents are, and he knows that they don't really care where he is either, as long as he stays out of trouble.
"No. Way," says Kurt. "No. We are so getting in trouble for this."
Blaine shakes his head. "What they don't know won't hurt us."
He grabs Kurt's hand and they sneak in through the back entrance. Blaine finds the choir room and they slip inside, both remembering what it felt like to be there. It seems so long ago.
Blaine sits at the piano and gestures for Kurt to come and sit beside him.
"I know this may seem silly, but this song really means a lot to me, and I know it does to you." Blaine looks like he's on the verge on rambling, so he stops before he really gets started and begins playing a slowed down and simple version.
Kurt can do nothing but sit there and smile. A year ago, this song was what introduced him to this amazing person. Blaine had been a flirt, and Kurt fell for it.
But now, a year later, Blaine was singing the same song with an entirely different meaning. He pours his heart out in the way his fingers glide over the black and white keys and the way he switches between gently crooning the lyrics or belting them out for the world to hear.
He finishes the song, and Kurt meets him in a tender kiss.
Blaine pulls away, eyes glittering with love and adoration and desire, and stares at Kurt.
"Why me?" he asks.
Kurt thinks for a moment before answering. He thinks of all the relationships he has ever encountered, of his own and the ones of his friends.
Each person you interact with, it's as if there's a perfect stone circle that represents that relationship. Every interaction determines whether or not the stone breaks a little bit.
Some people's stones have so many chips in them, they're irreparable. A rude comment tossed in a conversation. Chink. There goes a little bit of that rock.
The stones in Kurt's life have a lot of cracks, chips, and scratches on them. Some have even been broken altogether.
But the one that has Blaine's name on it, the one he treasures most dearly, has very little scratches on them.
Yes, there's flaws, but it's how Kurt and Blaine make up for them that keep the imperfections from spreading.
Kurt's glad that he has this one stone in his life that stays unbroken.
"Because you're you, and I'm me," he says simply. "Everything about you is what I've always looked for. I didn't expect to find it in you, but I did. And what we have works. It works, and even if we have any troubles, I'm not giving up, because you're the one thing in my life that I worked for, and I ended up with you."
The look of relief and overwhelming reciprocation shows itself in Blaine's face, and Kurt knows he feels the same. He smiles, and cups Blaine's face in with his hands and pull him close, touching noses to each other's before diving in, gently.
It doesn't stay gentle for long, though. Their mouths are frenzied against each other's, and the bench seems too small for them. They don't realize it, however, until they're scooting further down, and all of a sudden, Blaine falls on his back, and Kurt is a heap on top of him.
Blaine laughs loudly, the mood a little ruined, but he pushes up on his elbows. "We should probably take this somewhere else," he says a bit quieter. Kurt gets up off of him and grabs his hand, leading him towards the doors and out through the school.
"I couldn't agree more."
-O-
June 2081.
Kurt's a lot older now. His hair turns white and he passes his time in bed. He's sick, but it doesn't matter.
The last year has been rough.
He still wears his wedding band, though. It's a reminder to him that the last seventy years were real, not just something made up in his head.
The picture on his nightstand is old, frayed at the corners, and the colors have faded somewhat.
It once hung in his locker, above a little cutout collage of the word "courage".
That courage still hasn't left him.
He knows it's his time. It's been his time for a while now, but he's been strong for Blaine. He knew that grief couldn't kill him, so he waits until his body is ready to go with his heart.
-O-
He passes away in his sleep.
-O-
He's buried next to Blaine, in a small but pretty cemetery with green grass and bright flowers.
The phrase on Blaine's stone sits unfinished for a year now, until the words on Kurt's stone completes it.
"No regrets.
Just love."