two halves; one whole
PG // Chanyeol/Kyungsoo, ot10 // canon // 4k
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Each week, Junmyeon reserved an hour slot exclusively for ‘family meeting’ time. Every Sunday without fail, he gathered the members in the living room of K’s dorm, going over their past performances and future schedules and making suggestions and encouragements to each member. It was something the members supposedly complained about, claiming the hour was wasted. Kyungsoo knew his members secretly enjoyed the meetings however, judging by their pleased, kitten-like grins whenever Junmyeon sent praise their way.
Today they sat together listening to Junmyeon as he enthusiastically talked about their upcoming comeback. The members had been working hard with the new song, wanting to keep up with the high standard of performance that had made their previous comebacks so successful. The ten were spread out over the two long sofas in various positions, Junmyeon standing in front of the TV with Yifan by side as he spoke.
“Anyway, I know we’ve been working hard and I just want to thank you all for your efforts. At this rate, I know our comeback will go off without a hitch. We are one!!” Junmyeon cheered enthusiastically, fists raised as he turned to smile at the other members.
“Hyung stooooop, we know, you’re being sappy again,” Sehun drawled as a pillow was thrown at the leader.
“Yeah, c’mon it’s movie time, why are we having a family meeting anywayyyy?” Jongin whined, leaning back onto Sehun’s shoulder. He smiled languidly, clearly satisfied by his pillow-throwing efforts.
Yifan rolled his eyes at the maknaes and smiled reassuringly at Junmyeon. Another pillow was thrown, this time missing Junmyeon spectacularly and hitting Yifan square in the face.
“Sorry hyung, my hand slipped up, my bad,” Chanyeol didn’t look sorry at all, the smile quirking his lips revealing the dimple Kyungsoo loved so much.
“CHANYEOL I WILL KILL YOU.” Yifan rose to his feet, nostrils flaring (and if looks could kill, Chanyeol would be six feet under).
Moments later, YIfan had Chanyeol in a headlock yelling about ruined cleansing routines as Chanyeol laughed and struggled. It was a strange sight to see for two full grown, six-foot-tall males.
Kyungsoo became increasingly worried as Chanyeol’s face grew paler, feeling the need to speak up as the others had unhelpfully divided into their own conversations.
“Hey, leave him alone now, I think he’s turning blue,” Kyungsoo’s words were unheard, Yifan squeezing harder as he went on and on about the personalised serum he had specially shipped from France. Kyungsoo had had enough. He stormed over to where Yifan was crouched over Chanyeol and grabbed the leader’s ear.
“What. Did. I. Say.” Yifan immediately rose, yelping in pain as Kyungsoo led him back to where Junmyeon stood, slack-jawed and silent. The other members had ceased their conversations, blatantly staring at the exchange. Kyungsoo nonchalantly sat back down. He rubbed Chanyeol’s back soothingly as he coughed and spluttered, ignoring the incredulous stares from his members.
“Wow. Got a bit testy there hey, Mr. Little?” Baekhyun’s voice broke the silence, eyes disappearing into slits as he smiled sweetly at Kyungsoo.
“You are one centimetre taller than me Byun, come back here,” Kyungsoo seethed, nostrils flaring as he rushed up from the couch. He took off after a hysteric Baekhyun, pillow gripped tightly in his small hands.
“I guess it’s pillow-fight-o’clock,” Jongdae declared, jumping up and cushion-socking Zitao in the face before running away cackling.
One by one the boys rose, laughing and chasing after each other excitedly like children in a playground.
“TO THE DEATH!!” Luhan’s face was intense, as was the way he held his pillow tightly as he marched towards Zitao.
“Nah Lu, what the hell? Calm down, man. Let’s not get too serious here. And please guys my face is off-limits you know I just put serum on and it needs to dry for at least-“ Yifan’s mercy plea was interrupted by another pillow to the face.
“CHANYEOL. I WILL SERIOUSLY END. YOUR. LIFE.”
“KYUNGSOO I’M SORRYYY PLEASE STOP, JONGDAEEEE GET OVER HERE AND SAVE ME YOU IDIOTT,”
“Family meetings are serious….” Junmyeon’s silent, sad speech was left unheard. Pillows, popcorn and couch cushions flew through the air around the despondent leader as he sighed silently to himself. A pillow was handed to him, and he looked over to see Minseok patting his shoulder with a gentle smile on his face.
“Relax Jun, we’ve got this comeback. Throw a couple of things at Jongin, that’ll make you feel better,” Another pat on his shoulder and Minseok was off, heading towards a cackling Jongdae who was rubbing caramel popcorn into Zitao’s hair as he was attacked by a bug-eyed, straight-faced Luhan.
“HEY leave my Taozi alone, Kim Jongdae!” Junmyeon looked over in time to see Minseok jumping on Jongdae’s back and knocking him over, bringing Tao and Luhan down in the process.
Junmyeon stood lamenting the failed meeting for a few moments, then shrugged, walking over to Jongin with revenge on his mind and a pillow still firmly in his grip. He winked as he passed by Kyungsoo, who sat on the couch’s armrest silently observing the commotion. He had just released a struggling Baekhyun, feeling a headache coming on from the elder’s relentless and loud pleas for mercy.
Chanyeol walked over to sit beside Kyungsoo on the couch, placing his long arm around Kyungsoo’s shoulder as he fought to catch his breath.
“You okay?” Kyungsoo nodded slowly, still watching the commotion.
“We’re such a mess aren’t we?” Kyungsoo wondered aloud, fondness creeping through his voice as he turned to Chanyeol.
“Nah, I love us.” Chanyeol grinned, grip tightening around Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo smiled back.
“Let’s go, I think Baek looks a little too comfortable right now,” Kyungsoo looked over at Baekhyun who was, surely enough, sitting on Sehun’s back smiling mischievously as the maknae lay on the floor kicking and screaming. Kyungsoo laughed aloud.
“C’mon.” Chanyeol grabbed Kyungsoo’s hand as he dragged him up and towards the chaos once again. Kyungsoo let it be held, laughing as he seized a stray cushion along the way.
---
Chanyeol and Kyungsoo were complete opposites; it was plain to see. Chanyeol was tall; Kyungsoo was short. Chanyeol was loud and boisterous; Kyungsoo was stoic and kept to himself. Chanyeol was messy and acted spontaneously, while Kyungsoo sought order and familiarity.
They met as trainees. Chanyeol was popular, having already established himself as a talented rapper and sociable teen after a year with the company. He was liked by his peers and staff alike, and was never seen without someone by his side, laughing at his terrible jokes.
Kyungsoo still remembers the way Chanyeol had bounced over to him on his first day, greeting him with a cheerful hello. After an almost one-sided conversation, the two found that they shared a lot in common. Chanyeol was pleasantly surprised to discover that their music tastes aligned perfectly with Kyungsoo being, like him, an avid hip-hop fan with an interest in beatboxing. They travelled home together that day, and Kyungsoo went to bed that night feeling more welcomed than he’d ever felt before.
He was apprehensive at first, but as time passed, Kyungsoo found Chanyeol’s loud, booming laughter and jovial personality a comforting and endearing presence in his otherwise dull life.
The other members liked to tease them, calling them the yin to each other’s yang. Oddly enough, those taunts never bothered Kyungsoo. Now when they called them Mr. Big and Mr. Little, that bothered him. But he liked the idea that he and Chanyeol worked so well together despite being so vastly different. Chanyeol and Baekhyun were close because they were alike, and while at times this did bother Kyungsoo, he knew that if there was something wrong it’d be him Chanyeol went to. It was Kyungsoo whom Chanyeol sought out when he missed home. It was Kyungsoo who Chanyeol spent hours messing around on the guitar with.
It was Chanyeol, loud and uninhibited, whom Kyungsoo felt most comfortable with.
---
Comeback meant a split EXO. While Kyungsoo did miss the extra voices filtering through the dorm, Junmyeon regularly kept them updated on the progress and wellbeing of their other half.
The news hit early one morning. Luhan had called Junmyeon, who then informed the rest of K. Yifan packed his bags and disappeared; a small white envelope the only thing left in his hotel room after Luhan had come in to wake him.
It wasn’t the first time something like this had happened, and Kyungsoo hoped and prayed it would work out okay in the end like it had in the past. He’ll come back. He always comes back. Kyungsoo shook his head in a vain attempt to clear his thoughts before they consumed him.
A day passed, and schedules continued as normal. Kyungsoo kept his fingers crossed; hope dwindling as each hour passed with no news from their counterpart.
He didn’t come back.
News of the lawsuit spread like wildfire. It hit EXO-K hard, but management insisted they complete their separate schedules regardless of the circumstances. It was the prolonged split that made it particularly hard for the members to remain motivated to continue their efforts. While Kyungsoo was obviously devastated, he was determined not to let his emotions cloud his thoughts and affect his performance. He convinced himself life went on.
EXO-M’s return was an emotional one to say the least. Junmyeon held a family meeting as soon as they were reunited, promising the members he would work twice as hard to fill the void and ensure their comeback did not suffer any further. In turn, the members vowed not to let Yifan’s departure affect their concert preparations.
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With their first solo concert date fast approaching, stress levels were incessantly high. Rehearsals were extended, and consistently ran over 12 hours a day. They had finally finished for the day, and Kyungsoo - much like the others - was exhausted.
Kyungsoo frowned as Chanyeol clumsily stood up, his lanky legs trembling slightly as he regained balance. With an ache in his chest he watched as Chanyeol reassured Junmyeon he’d be back (Since when did it come to this, Kyungsoo thought bitterly). Chanyeol spotted Kyungsoo and gave him the barest hint of a smile.
Kyungsoo watched helplessly as Chanyeol sauntered off into the dark streets. His heart sank further.
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It was past midnight, and Chanyeol was yet to return to the dorm.
Kyungsoo was determined to cheer Chanyeol up, and he consulted Luhan who suggested he dress up as the SM mascot and do a cute dance. It was so ridiculous he momentarily questioned the elder’s sanity. Kyungsoo was, however, desperate enough to agree. Luhan helpfully provided Kyungsoo with both the costume and a speedy ‘Happiness’ dance lesson (funnily enough he knew the dance surprisingly well).
“Good luck cutie,” Luhan smiled softly, patting Kyungsoo’s costumed shoulder as the younger indignantly insisted he was ‘Not cute, I told you this is a one-off hyung,’.
Kyungsoo sat on his bed, desperately hoping none of the other members would find out about Luhan’s outrageous ploy, and his complacence to it all.
An hour passed, and he heard the front door creak open. Finally, he thought. Kyungsoo carefully stepped outside so as not to wake Sehun who, like the rest of them, had barely slept over the past week.
Kyungsoo watched as Chanyeol shook his trainers off, sighing lowly as he noticed the state of his best friend. Chanyeol’s face was gaunt; dark shadows enclosing dull eyes that were usually so full of life. He had been uncharacteristically subdued all week, wandering off after practice unannounced and returning hours later. Kyungsoo understood that Chanyeol was upset and accepted his need for solitude, but that didn’t stop him from worrying himself to death waiting for Chanyeol to come home each night.
“La la la, happiness~”
Chanyeol looked over to where Kyungsoo stood. His eyes widened comically as Kyungsoo emerged from behind the couch. Kyungsoo fought the hampering urge to stop dancing, rip the suit off and run away in utter humiliation. He continued with the act, wiggling his pink body melodramatically as he sang with as much aegyo as he could physically manage. He bowed theatrically, and then stood straight and still, waiting for Chanyeol’s reaction.
Chanyeol stood mouth agape for a few moments. Kyungsoo slumped, feeling defeated. Seconds later, Chanyeol’s incredulous laughter filled the room. Kyungsoo felt an equal and overwhelming sense of embarrassment and accomplishment as he watched the taller boy, who was bent over the couch clutching his stomach, chortling loudly.
“I can’t believe I did this,” Kyungsoo mumbled, pulling off the pink bear head. He fiddled with his fringe, his face strikingly similar in colour to the SM bear head he held loosely in one hand.
Kyungsoo made no attempt to take off the rest of the suit. Chanyeol was looking at a pink bear body with a pink Kyungsoo face. He stifled another laugh and stood up, taking a step towards Kyungsoo who was looking intently at his pink, furry feet.
“You’re such a freak, Soo,”
Another step.
“You better cheer up after this or else,” Kyungsoo grumbled, still refusing to look up at Chanyeol who was now in front of him smiling softly. Kyungsoo glanced up, eyes meeting Chanyeol’s.
“Okay, good, you smiled, mission complete, I’m going to go change now. Oh my god this is so embarrassing, I can’t believe I did this, I’m never listening to Luhan hyung again,” Kyungsoo turned around, hiding his face in his hands for a moment before making his way towards the bathroom.
Chanyeol took one last step and grabbed Kyungsoo from behind, arms around his middle and chin resting comfortably on Kyungsoo’s fluffy-pink-fur-covered shoulder.
“Thank you,” he whispered, turning to softly nuzzle Kyungsoo’s hair.
“Are you feeling a bit better?” Kyungsoo turned around in Chanyeol’s arms, leaving him momentarily lost in the intensity of his gaze.
“Yeah, it’s just…well, it sucks, to be honest. He didn’t say a thing. I just…. I thought we were friends, brothers, whatever...you know?”
“I..I’m sure he had his reasons. He maybe could’ve handled it better than he did but we need to respect his decision. And we need to move on.” Kyungsoo took a deep breath. He reached up and stroked Chanyeol’s hair.
“I know I might not have been as close to him as you were, and I know you’re hurting right now but please don’t shut me out,” He ran his fingers through the baby hairs on Chanyeol’s neck, the gesture sending goosebumps down Chanyeol’s spine.
“I-“ Chanyeol struggled to find something to say. Words escaped him as he stood, stunned by Kyungsoo’s uncharacteristic affection.
“No, listen. Come to me - talk to me - and I’ll do whatever I have to, to make you happy again.” Kyungsoo grabbed onto Chanyeol’s forearms, cheeks a deeper pink and gaze startlingly resolute.
“Just…this sounds lame and embarrassing and stupid because you’re like 12 centimetres taller - and never let me forget it - but lean on me, Park.” Chanyeol chuckled softly, ruffling Kyungsoo’s hair. He leaned his entire body weight onto Kyungsoo’s side, earning an indignant yelp from Kyungsoo. He punched Chanyeol’s shoulder, hand lingering down to give his forearm a gentle squeeze. Chanyeol laughed.
“Okay.” He draped an arm around Kyungsoo’s shoulder, steering him towards their room.
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Months passed and life continued.
EXO’s concerts were a huge success, with extra days being added to accommodate the high demand. And though they were incessantly tired from the extra practice and schedules, Kyungsoo found that he didn’t mind for once. The atmosphere was brighter, with the members making jokes, smiling and laughing more than they had in months.
Spirits were high and things were looking up. But as it turned out, good things never seem to last.
Luhan had been unwell for weeks, and management allowed him to skip a few concert dates to go home and recover. He, however, never returned. It wasn’t so out of the blue, but it didn’t make it hurt any less.
With another member gone, EXO’s mending reputation took yet another blow.
For some the damage was obvious, with Sehun locking Kyungsoo out of their room almost immediately after hearing the news, only to emerge hours later with bloodshot eyes but a determined expression as he asked for Jongdae’s Mandarin language book. Both Junmyeon and Minseok put up strong fronts, but Kyungsoo could see the sadness in their eyes as clear as day.
It was as if they’d gone back in time.
The wound was back, slowly ripped open after only just beginning to heal. Gone were the jokes, the laughter and the comfort. In its place was terse silence, each member lost in their own thoughts as they worked hard to supress their hurt. But this time, they shared the burden. Each member played their part - splitting schedules, chores, and helping each other with choreography and vocals. Maybe the jokes had stopped, but they’d be back. Kyungsoo was overcome with gratitude and love for his members, knowing just how hard everyone was working to pick EXO back up once again.
-----
They had another early start the next morning, so Kyungsoo had been in bed for hours. He couldn’t sleep, tossing and turning uselessly as he tried to clear his head. He sat up, reaching under the pillow to check the time on his phone. 1:30am. Maybe a drink will help me fall asleep, he thought. Quietly he got out of bed, stretching his arms as he left the room.
The light was on in the kitchen, and Kyungsoo heard the soft voices of Junmyeon and Minseok filtering through the room. They were sitting at the table, and a pair of steaming mugs sat untouched next to the two as they spoke. Kyungsoo stood idly in the doorway, unsure of whether he should disturb what was probably an important and intimate conversation.
“I know he was suffering, but we all are, aren’t we?” Kyungsoo peered in from where he stood on one side of the doorway. Minseok had his head in his hands, voice muffled as he spoke.
“You know what he said? He said there’s more in China for him than there is here in Seoul.” Kyungsoo’s eyes widened. Luhan’s departure wasn’t exactly a surprise to the members, but Kyungsoo himself wasn’t clear on the details, more so he didn’t want to know the reasons behind Luhan’s decision.
“I know that he was having a hard time but it just fucking hurts, Jun. I just…I wish he stayed for me; for all of us. But-“ Minseok’s voice cracked, and Kyungsoo’s heart sank.
“-We weren’t worth staying for.”
Kyungsoo stood there in the doorway for what felt like forever. Helplessly, he watched as two of EXO’s oldest and strongest members fell apart. Junmyeon blamed himself for Yifan’s departure, and Minseok admitted he knew of Luhan’s plans beforehand but could do nothing to stop his friend from walking out of their lives. It was agonising.
He couldn’t take it; Kyungsoo needed air. He closed the front door and stepped outside, letting the cool autumn breeze calm his thoughts.
Kyungsoo walked the empty streets with a heavy heart, listlessly dragging his feet forward with no destination in mind. It was nearing 3am but he felt wide-awake, haunted by the events that plagued EXO that year. He passed by an empty park, dropping down on the bench as he stared up into the dark, starless sky.
Frankly speaking, EXO had a lot to be thankful for. They had a bright future ahead with so much to look forward to. But Kyungsoo couldn’t focus on their achievements. He couldn’t seem to shake the overwhelming sense that he was in some way at fault, that maybe there was something he could have but didn’t do to keep them together - to make them stay.
Kyungsoo kept himself together surprisingly well after Yifan’s departure. He was crushed, but he pulled himself together for the sake of the team and for his brothers. But it was only after Luhan left that Kyungsoo felt it all at once. It was as if the universe was reminding them that everything comes at a price. And what comes up will always come down.
They had their reasons, but that didn’t stop the overwhelming sense of betrayal Kyungsoo felt. As trainees, the twelve made promises to work together and stick by each other as they ventured into the idol world. Sure they were young, but Kyungsoo meant what he said all those years ago. Kyungsoo shook his head, vigorously wiping his tears as he shook his head. Pull yourself together, he thought.
Kyungsoo buried his face in his hands, head in his lap as he allowed the tears to flow. Hours passed and Kyungsoo couldn’t bring himself to lift his head, finally out of energy. He drifted in and out of consciousness, curling into the bench as he cried.
“Kyungsoo!”
He heard a distant voice calling his name. Slowly, he straightened up. The sun was beginning to rise, the brightness catching Kyungsoo off-guard. He squinted, rubbing his eyes as we watched Chanyeol jog over to him.
“What are you doing here? Are you hurt? Are you okay? Everyone’s really worried,” Chanyeol took Kyungsoo’s hand, lifting him off the bench and into a bone-crushing hug. Chanyeol let go, holding Kyungsoo at arm’s length as he inspected the younger.
“I’m fine Yeol. I just…needed some air. To think about-“ his voice cracked “-stuff.”. He lowered his head, willing the tears away. Kyungsoo didn’t cry. Especially not in front of Chanyeol.
Kyungsoo took a deep breath and looked back up, only to feel the ache in his chest once again as his eyes met Chanyeol’s - concern etched deeply into the face of someone normally so carefree and happy.
“Remember when you told me to lean on you? Well it’s my turn now, Soo.” He softly ruffled Kyungsoo’s hair, hand dropping to cup Kyungsoo’s cheek as he spoke.
“I know it fucking sucks right now but we managed to bounce back before and I know we can do it again.” He squeezed Kyungsoo’s cheek, earning one of Kyungsoo’s infamous glares as he slapped Chanyeol’s hand away. Chanyeol smiled, heart fluttering as Kyungsoo returned the gesture, tiny smile on his face as he unceremoniously leaned onto Chanyeol. Chanyeol laughed and grabbed the younger boy, hugging him again. Kyungsoo let himself be held.
“Let’s go home. Everyone’s waiting for you, main vocalist,” Kyungsoo laughed. They walked side by side in comfortable silence, both lost in their own thoughts.
“Hey,” Chanyeol turned his head, eyebrows raised as he waited for Kyungsoo to continue.
“Thank you.” Kyungsoo took a deep breath, cheeks hot as he swiftly grabbed Chanyeol’s hand. His hand trembled slightly as he tangled their fingers together. Chanyeol’s hand went slack in his. Kyungsoo moved to take his hand away, only to have Chanyeol grab Kyungsoo’s hand in both of his. Kyungsoo leaned his head onto Chanyeol’s shoulder, smiling as he heard the other’s breath hitch faintly.
“Let’s go home.”
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As soon as they stepped through the front door, the two were bombarded. Kyungsoo found himself in the centre of a 10-man hug. He chuckled at his members, heart swelling from the sentiment. The members dispersed, each finding their own spot on the couches. Chanyeol squeezed Kyungsoo’s hand and let go, settling down next to Yixing.
“I’m glad you’re okay Kyung,” Junmyeon smiled, eyes disappearing into crescents as he rubbed Kyungsoo’s shoulder affectionately. Kyungsoo smiled back, feeling guilty for worrying Junmyeon who, no doubt, already had so much on his plate.
“Sorry hyung,” Kyungsoo smiled again to make sure Junmyeon knew that he was okay; that he was going nowhere. He walked over to Chanyeol, giving him a soft smile as he dropped down next to him.
“Guys I know it’s early, but I’ve been wanting to say this for some time.” Junmyeon cleared his throat, hands trembling slightly as he looked around at his members. His brothers.
“We may be broken now but we’re still a team. You need to know that I love you all and will never give up on any of you.” He looked around at his members again. Their solemn expressions provided a silent cue for him to continue.
“I sure as hell am not going anywhere unless it’s with the nine of you beside me.” Junmyeon gazed around again, and waited for the inevitable heckling to occur.
This time however, no one made a sound.
Nobody laughed, and not one pillow was thrown.
Junmyeon gulped, took a leap, and held his hand out; silently hoping the others would follow. He closed his eyes, willing the tears away at least until he was back in the solitude of his bed.
Not one second later, he felt a warm hand over his. No longer able to keep his tears at bay, he looked up to see Minseok, eyes watery, smiling at him tenderly. One by one, hands were on Junmyeon’s. He sobbed once, looking around at his members. Kyungsoo’s eyes were closed, head resting on Chanyeol’s shoulder as he cried silently. Jongin, Sehun and Zitao had arms around each other. Baekhyun and Jongdae both gave Junmyeon fiercely resolute looks, their free hands intertwined so tight their knuckles were white. Yixing and Minseok were on either side of Junmyeon; their outstretched arms giving him the remaining strength he needed to say the three words that had been haunting him for months.
“We are one.”
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Final author's note: to be perfectly honest, halfway through I was tempted to turn this into an ot9. But alas, time was just not on my side (wow tao superpower reference what??? Lol ok time to stop typing)
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Each week, Junmyeon reserved an hour slot exclusively for ‘family meeting’ time. Every Sunday without fail, he gathered the members in the living room of K’s dorm, going over their past performances and future schedules and making suggestions and encouragements to each member. It was something the members supposedly complained about, claiming the hour was wasted. Kyungsoo knew his members secretly enjoyed the meetings however, judging by their pleased, kitten-like grins whenever Junmyeon sent praise their way.
Today they sat together listening to Junmyeon as he enthusiastically talked about their upcoming comeback. The members had been working hard with the new song, wanting to keep up with the high standard of performance that had made their previous comebacks so successful. The ten were spread out over the two long sofas in various positions, Junmyeon standing in front of the TV with Yifan by side as he spoke.
“Anyway, I know we’ve been working hard and I just want to thank you all for your efforts. At this rate, I know our comeback will go off without a hitch. We are one!!” Junmyeon cheered enthusiastically, fists raised as he turned to smile at the other members.
“Hyung stooooop, we know, you’re being sappy again,” Sehun drawled as a pillow was thrown at the leader.
“Yeah, c’mon it’s movie time, why are we having a family meeting anywayyyy?” Jongin whined, leaning back onto Sehun’s shoulder. He smiled languidly, clearly satisfied by his pillow-throwing efforts.
Yifan rolled his eyes at the maknaes and smiled reassuringly at Junmyeon. Another pillow was thrown, this time missing Junmyeon spectacularly and hitting Yifan square in the face.
“Sorry hyung, my hand slipped up, my bad,” Chanyeol didn’t look sorry at all, the smile quirking his lips revealing the dimple Kyungsoo loved so much.
“CHANYEOL I WILL KILL YOU.” Yifan rose to his feet, nostrils flaring (and if looks could kill, Chanyeol would be six feet under).
Moments later, YIfan had Chanyeol in a headlock yelling about ruined cleansing routines as Chanyeol laughed and struggled. It was a strange sight to see for two full grown, six-foot-tall males.
Kyungsoo became increasingly worried as Chanyeol’s face grew paler, feeling the need to speak up as the others had unhelpfully divided into their own conversations.
“Hey, leave him alone now, I think he’s turning blue,” Kyungsoo’s words were unheard, Yifan squeezing harder as he went on and on about the personalised serum he had specially shipped from France. Kyungsoo had had enough. He stormed over to where Yifan was crouched over Chanyeol and grabbed the leader’s ear.
“What. Did. I. Say.” Yifan immediately rose, yelping in pain as Kyungsoo led him back to where Junmyeon stood, slack-jawed and silent. The other members had ceased their conversations, blatantly staring at the exchange. Kyungsoo nonchalantly sat back down. He rubbed Chanyeol’s back soothingly as he coughed and spluttered, ignoring the incredulous stares from his members.
“Wow. Got a bit testy there hey, Mr. Little?” Baekhyun’s voice broke the silence, eyes disappearing into slits as he smiled sweetly at Kyungsoo.
“You are one centimetre taller than me Byun, come back here,” Kyungsoo seethed, nostrils flaring as he rushed up from the couch. He took off after a hysteric Baekhyun, pillow gripped tightly in his small hands.
“I guess it’s pillow-fight-o’clock,” Jongdae declared, jumping up and cushion-socking Zitao in the face before running away cackling.
One by one the boys rose, laughing and chasing after each other excitedly like children in a playground.
“TO THE DEATH!!” Luhan’s face was intense, as was the way he held his pillow tightly as he marched towards Zitao.
“Nah Lu, what the hell? Calm down, man. Let’s not get too serious here. And please guys my face is off-limits you know I just put serum on and it needs to dry for at least-“ Yifan’s mercy plea was interrupted by another pillow to the face.
“CHANYEOL. I WILL SERIOUSLY END. YOUR. LIFE.”
“KYUNGSOO I’M SORRYYY PLEASE STOP, JONGDAEEEE GET OVER HERE AND SAVE ME YOU IDIOTT,”
“Family meetings are serious….” Junmyeon’s silent, sad speech was left unheard. Pillows, popcorn and couch cushions flew through the air around the despondent leader as he sighed silently to himself. A pillow was handed to him, and he looked over to see Minseok patting his shoulder with a gentle smile on his face.
“Relax Jun, we’ve got this comeback. Throw a couple of things at Jongin, that’ll make you feel better,” Another pat on his shoulder and Minseok was off, heading towards a cackling Jongdae who was rubbing caramel popcorn into Zitao’s hair as he was attacked by a bug-eyed, straight-faced Luhan.
“HEY leave my Taozi alone, Kim Jongdae!” Junmyeon looked over in time to see Minseok jumping on Jongdae’s back and knocking him over, bringing Tao and Luhan down in the process.
Junmyeon stood lamenting the failed meeting for a few moments, then shrugged, walking over to Jongin with revenge on his mind and a pillow still firmly in his grip. He winked as he passed by Kyungsoo, who sat on the couch’s armrest silently observing the commotion. He had just released a struggling Baekhyun, feeling a headache coming on from the elder’s relentless and loud pleas for mercy.
Chanyeol walked over to sit beside Kyungsoo on the couch, placing his long arm around Kyungsoo’s shoulder as he fought to catch his breath.
“You okay?” Kyungsoo nodded slowly, still watching the commotion.
“We’re such a mess aren’t we?” Kyungsoo wondered aloud, fondness creeping through his voice as he turned to Chanyeol.
“Nah, I love us.” Chanyeol grinned, grip tightening around Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo smiled back.
“Let’s go, I think Baek looks a little too comfortable right now,” Kyungsoo looked over at Baekhyun who was, surely enough, sitting on Sehun’s back smiling mischievously as the maknae lay on the floor kicking and screaming. Kyungsoo laughed aloud.
“C’mon.” Chanyeol grabbed Kyungsoo’s hand as he dragged him up and towards the chaos once again. Kyungsoo let it be held, laughing as he seized a stray cushion along the way.
---
Chanyeol and Kyungsoo were complete opposites; it was plain to see. Chanyeol was tall; Kyungsoo was short. Chanyeol was loud and boisterous; Kyungsoo was stoic and kept to himself. Chanyeol was messy and acted spontaneously, while Kyungsoo sought order and familiarity.
They met as trainees. Chanyeol was popular, having already established himself as a talented rapper and sociable teen after a year with the company. He was liked by his peers and staff alike, and was never seen without someone by his side, laughing at his terrible jokes.
Kyungsoo still remembers the way Chanyeol had bounced over to him on his first day, greeting him with a cheerful hello. After an almost one-sided conversation, the two found that they shared a lot in common. Chanyeol was pleasantly surprised to discover that their music tastes aligned perfectly with Kyungsoo being, like him, an avid hip-hop fan with an interest in beatboxing. They travelled home together that day, and Kyungsoo went to bed that night feeling more welcomed than he’d ever felt before.
He was apprehensive at first, but as time passed, Kyungsoo found Chanyeol’s loud, booming laughter and jovial personality a comforting and endearing presence in his otherwise dull life.
The other members liked to tease them, calling them the yin to each other’s yang. Oddly enough, those taunts never bothered Kyungsoo. Now when they called them Mr. Big and Mr. Little, that bothered him. But he liked the idea that he and Chanyeol worked so well together despite being so vastly different. Chanyeol and Baekhyun were close because they were alike, and while at times this did bother Kyungsoo, he knew that if there was something wrong it’d be him Chanyeol went to. It was Kyungsoo whom Chanyeol sought out when he missed home. It was Kyungsoo who Chanyeol spent hours messing around on the guitar with.
It was Chanyeol, loud and uninhibited, whom Kyungsoo felt most comfortable with.
---
Comeback meant a split EXO. While Kyungsoo did miss the extra voices filtering through the dorm, Junmyeon regularly kept them updated on the progress and wellbeing of their other half.
The news hit early one morning. Luhan had called Junmyeon, who then informed the rest of K. Yifan packed his bags and disappeared; a small white envelope the only thing left in his hotel room after Luhan had come in to wake him.
It wasn’t the first time something like this had happened, and Kyungsoo hoped and prayed it would work out okay in the end like it had in the past. He’ll come back. He always comes back. Kyungsoo shook his head in a vain attempt to clear his thoughts before they consumed him.
A day passed, and schedules continued as normal. Kyungsoo kept his fingers crossed; hope dwindling as each hour passed with no news from their counterpart.
He didn’t come back.
News of the lawsuit spread like wildfire. It hit EXO-K hard, but management insisted they complete their separate schedules regardless of the circumstances. It was the prolonged split that made it particularly hard for the members to remain motivated to continue their efforts. While Kyungsoo was obviously devastated, he was determined not to let his emotions cloud his thoughts and affect his performance. He convinced himself life went on.
EXO-M’s return was an emotional one to say the least. Junmyeon held a family meeting as soon as they were reunited, promising the members he would work twice as hard to fill the void and ensure their comeback did not suffer any further. In turn, the members vowed not to let Yifan’s departure affect their concert preparations.
-----
With their first solo concert date fast approaching, stress levels were incessantly high. Rehearsals were extended, and consistently ran over 12 hours a day. They had finally finished for the day, and Kyungsoo - much like the others - was exhausted.
Kyungsoo frowned as Chanyeol clumsily stood up, his lanky legs trembling slightly as he regained balance. With an ache in his chest he watched as Chanyeol reassured Junmyeon he’d be back (Since when did it come to this, Kyungsoo thought bitterly). Chanyeol spotted Kyungsoo and gave him the barest hint of a smile.
Kyungsoo watched helplessly as Chanyeol sauntered off into the dark streets. His heart sank further.
-----
It was past midnight, and Chanyeol was yet to return to the dorm.
Kyungsoo was determined to cheer Chanyeol up, and he consulted Luhan who suggested he dress up as the SM mascot and do a cute dance. It was so ridiculous he momentarily questioned the elder’s sanity. Kyungsoo was, however, desperate enough to agree. Luhan helpfully provided Kyungsoo with both the costume and a speedy ‘Happiness’ dance lesson (funnily enough he knew the dance surprisingly well).
“Good luck cutie,” Luhan smiled softly, patting Kyungsoo’s costumed shoulder as the younger indignantly insisted he was ‘Not cute, I told you this is a one-off hyung,’.
Kyungsoo sat on his bed, desperately hoping none of the other members would find out about Luhan’s outrageous ploy, and his complacence to it all.
An hour passed, and he heard the front door creak open. Finally, he thought. Kyungsoo carefully stepped outside so as not to wake Sehun who, like the rest of them, had barely slept over the past week.
Kyungsoo watched as Chanyeol shook his trainers off, sighing lowly as he noticed the state of his best friend. Chanyeol’s face was gaunt; dark shadows enclosing dull eyes that were usually so full of life. He had been uncharacteristically subdued all week, wandering off after practice unannounced and returning hours later. Kyungsoo understood that Chanyeol was upset and accepted his need for solitude, but that didn’t stop him from worrying himself to death waiting for Chanyeol to come home each night.
“La la la, happiness~”
Chanyeol looked over to where Kyungsoo stood. His eyes widened comically as Kyungsoo emerged from behind the couch. Kyungsoo fought the hampering urge to stop dancing, rip the suit off and run away in utter humiliation. He continued with the act, wiggling his pink body melodramatically as he sang with as much aegyo as he could physically manage. He bowed theatrically, and then stood straight and still, waiting for Chanyeol’s reaction.
Chanyeol stood mouth agape for a few moments. Kyungsoo slumped, feeling defeated. Seconds later, Chanyeol’s incredulous laughter filled the room. Kyungsoo felt an equal and overwhelming sense of embarrassment and accomplishment as he watched the taller boy, who was bent over the couch clutching his stomach, chortling loudly.
“I can’t believe I did this,” Kyungsoo mumbled, pulling off the pink bear head. He fiddled with his fringe, his face strikingly similar in colour to the SM bear head he held loosely in one hand.
Kyungsoo made no attempt to take off the rest of the suit. Chanyeol was looking at a pink bear body with a pink Kyungsoo face. He stifled another laugh and stood up, taking a step towards Kyungsoo who was looking intently at his pink, furry feet.
“You’re such a freak, Soo,”
Another step.
“You better cheer up after this or else,” Kyungsoo grumbled, still refusing to look up at Chanyeol who was now in front of him smiling softly. Kyungsoo glanced up, eyes meeting Chanyeol’s.
“Okay, good, you smiled, mission complete, I’m going to go change now. Oh my god this is so embarrassing, I can’t believe I did this, I’m never listening to Luhan hyung again,” Kyungsoo turned around, hiding his face in his hands for a moment before making his way towards the bathroom.
Chanyeol took one last step and grabbed Kyungsoo from behind, arms around his middle and chin resting comfortably on Kyungsoo’s fluffy-pink-fur-covered shoulder.
“Thank you,” he whispered, turning to softly nuzzle Kyungsoo’s hair.
“Are you feeling a bit better?” Kyungsoo turned around in Chanyeol’s arms, leaving him momentarily lost in the intensity of his gaze.
“Yeah, it’s just…well, it sucks, to be honest. He didn’t say a thing. I just…. I thought we were friends, brothers, whatever...you know?”
“I..I’m sure he had his reasons. He maybe could’ve handled it better than he did but we need to respect his decision. And we need to move on.” Kyungsoo took a deep breath. He reached up and stroked Chanyeol’s hair.
“I know I might not have been as close to him as you were, and I know you’re hurting right now but please don’t shut me out,” He ran his fingers through the baby hairs on Chanyeol’s neck, the gesture sending goosebumps down Chanyeol’s spine.
“I-“ Chanyeol struggled to find something to say. Words escaped him as he stood, stunned by Kyungsoo’s uncharacteristic affection.
“No, listen. Come to me - talk to me - and I’ll do whatever I have to, to make you happy again.” Kyungsoo grabbed onto Chanyeol’s forearms, cheeks a deeper pink and gaze startlingly resolute.
“Just…this sounds lame and embarrassing and stupid because you’re like 12 centimetres taller - and never let me forget it - but lean on me, Park.” Chanyeol chuckled softly, ruffling Kyungsoo’s hair. He leaned his entire body weight onto Kyungsoo’s side, earning an indignant yelp from Kyungsoo. He punched Chanyeol’s shoulder, hand lingering down to give his forearm a gentle squeeze. Chanyeol laughed.
“Okay.” He draped an arm around Kyungsoo’s shoulder, steering him towards their room.
-----
Months passed and life continued.
EXO’s concerts were a huge success, with extra days being added to accommodate the high demand. And though they were incessantly tired from the extra practice and schedules, Kyungsoo found that he didn’t mind for once. The atmosphere was brighter, with the members making jokes, smiling and laughing more than they had in months.
Spirits were high and things were looking up. But as it turned out, good things never seem to last.
Luhan had been unwell for weeks, and management allowed him to skip a few concert dates to go home and recover. He, however, never returned. It wasn’t so out of the blue, but it didn’t make it hurt any less.
With another member gone, EXO’s mending reputation took yet another blow.
For some the damage was obvious, with Sehun locking Kyungsoo out of their room almost immediately after hearing the news, only to emerge hours later with bloodshot eyes but a determined expression as he asked for Jongdae’s Mandarin language book. Both Junmyeon and Minseok put up strong fronts, but Kyungsoo could see the sadness in their eyes as clear as day.
It was as if they’d gone back in time.
The wound was back, slowly ripped open after only just beginning to heal. Gone were the jokes, the laughter and the comfort. In its place was terse silence, each member lost in their own thoughts as they worked hard to supress their hurt. But this time, they shared the burden. Each member played their part - splitting schedules, chores, and helping each other with choreography and vocals. Maybe the jokes had stopped, but they’d be back. Kyungsoo was overcome with gratitude and love for his members, knowing just how hard everyone was working to pick EXO back up once again.
-----
They had another early start the next morning, so Kyungsoo had been in bed for hours. He couldn’t sleep, tossing and turning uselessly as he tried to clear his head. He sat up, reaching under the pillow to check the time on his phone. 1:30am. Maybe a drink will help me fall asleep, he thought. Quietly he got out of bed, stretching his arms as he left the room.
The light was on in the kitchen, and Kyungsoo heard the soft voices of Junmyeon and Minseok filtering through the room. They were sitting at the table, and a pair of steaming mugs sat untouched next to the two as they spoke. Kyungsoo stood idly in the doorway, unsure of whether he should disturb what was probably an important and intimate conversation.
“I know he was suffering, but we all are, aren’t we?” Kyungsoo peered in from where he stood on one side of the doorway. Minseok had his head in his hands, voice muffled as he spoke.
“You know what he said? He said there’s more in China for him than there is here in Seoul.” Kyungsoo’s eyes widened. Luhan’s departure wasn’t exactly a surprise to the members, but Kyungsoo himself wasn’t clear on the details, more so he didn’t want to know the reasons behind Luhan’s decision.
“I know that he was having a hard time but it just fucking hurts, Jun. I just…I wish he stayed for me; for all of us. But-“ Minseok’s voice cracked, and Kyungsoo’s heart sank.
“-We weren’t worth staying for.”
Kyungsoo stood there in the doorway for what felt like forever. Helplessly, he watched as two of EXO’s oldest and strongest members fell apart. Junmyeon blamed himself for Yifan’s departure, and Minseok admitted he knew of Luhan’s plans beforehand but could do nothing to stop his friend from walking out of their lives. It was agonising.
He couldn’t take it; Kyungsoo needed air. He closed the front door and stepped outside, letting the cool autumn breeze calm his thoughts.
Kyungsoo walked the empty streets with a heavy heart, listlessly dragging his feet forward with no destination in mind. It was nearing 3am but he felt wide-awake, haunted by the events that plagued EXO that year. He passed by an empty park, dropping down on the bench as he stared up into the dark, starless sky.
Frankly speaking, EXO had a lot to be thankful for. They had a bright future ahead with so much to look forward to. But Kyungsoo couldn’t focus on their achievements. He couldn’t seem to shake the overwhelming sense that he was in some way at fault, that maybe there was something he could have but didn’t do to keep them together - to make them stay.
Kyungsoo kept himself together surprisingly well after Yifan’s departure. He was crushed, but he pulled himself together for the sake of the team and for his brothers. But it was only after Luhan left that Kyungsoo felt it all at once. It was as if the universe was reminding them that everything comes at a price. And what comes up will always come down.
They had their reasons, but that didn’t stop the overwhelming sense of betrayal Kyungsoo felt. As trainees, the twelve made promises to work together and stick by each other as they ventured into the idol world. Sure they were young, but Kyungsoo meant what he said all those years ago. Kyungsoo shook his head, vigorously wiping his tears as he shook his head. Pull yourself together, he thought.
Kyungsoo buried his face in his hands, head in his lap as he allowed the tears to flow. Hours passed and Kyungsoo couldn’t bring himself to lift his head, finally out of energy. He drifted in and out of consciousness, curling into the bench as he cried.
“Kyungsoo!”
He heard a distant voice calling his name. Slowly, he straightened up. The sun was beginning to rise, the brightness catching Kyungsoo off-guard. He squinted, rubbing his eyes as we watched Chanyeol jog over to him.
“What are you doing here? Are you hurt? Are you okay? Everyone’s really worried,” Chanyeol took Kyungsoo’s hand, lifting him off the bench and into a bone-crushing hug. Chanyeol let go, holding Kyungsoo at arm’s length as he inspected the younger.
“I’m fine Yeol. I just…needed some air. To think about-“ his voice cracked “-stuff.”. He lowered his head, willing the tears away. Kyungsoo didn’t cry. Especially not in front of Chanyeol.
Kyungsoo took a deep breath and looked back up, only to feel the ache in his chest once again as his eyes met Chanyeol’s - concern etched deeply into the face of someone normally so carefree and happy.
“Remember when you told me to lean on you? Well it’s my turn now, Soo.” He softly ruffled Kyungsoo’s hair, hand dropping to cup Kyungsoo’s cheek as he spoke.
“I know it fucking sucks right now but we managed to bounce back before and I know we can do it again.” He squeezed Kyungsoo’s cheek, earning one of Kyungsoo’s infamous glares as he slapped Chanyeol’s hand away. Chanyeol smiled, heart fluttering as Kyungsoo returned the gesture, tiny smile on his face as he unceremoniously leaned onto Chanyeol. Chanyeol laughed and grabbed the younger boy, hugging him again. Kyungsoo let himself be held.
“Let’s go home. Everyone’s waiting for you, main vocalist,” Kyungsoo laughed. They walked side by side in comfortable silence, both lost in their own thoughts.
“Hey,” Chanyeol turned his head, eyebrows raised as he waited for Kyungsoo to continue.
“Thank you.” Kyungsoo took a deep breath, cheeks hot as he swiftly grabbed Chanyeol’s hand. His hand trembled slightly as he tangled their fingers together. Chanyeol’s hand went slack in his. Kyungsoo moved to take his hand away, only to have Chanyeol grab Kyungsoo’s hand in both of his. Kyungsoo leaned his head onto Chanyeol’s shoulder, smiling as he heard the other’s breath hitch faintly.
“Let’s go home.”
-------
As soon as they stepped through the front door, the two were bombarded. Kyungsoo found himself in the centre of a 10-man hug. He chuckled at his members, heart swelling from the sentiment. The members dispersed, each finding their own spot on the couches. Chanyeol squeezed Kyungsoo’s hand and let go, settling down next to Yixing.
“I’m glad you’re okay Kyung,” Junmyeon smiled, eyes disappearing into crescents as he rubbed Kyungsoo’s shoulder affectionately. Kyungsoo smiled back, feeling guilty for worrying Junmyeon who, no doubt, already had so much on his plate.
“Sorry hyung,” Kyungsoo smiled again to make sure Junmyeon knew that he was okay; that he was going nowhere. He walked over to Chanyeol, giving him a soft smile as he dropped down next to him.
“Guys I know it’s early, but I’ve been wanting to say this for some time.” Junmyeon cleared his throat, hands trembling slightly as he looked around at his members. His brothers.
“We may be broken now but we’re still a team. You need to know that I love you all and will never give up on any of you.” He looked around at his members again. Their solemn expressions provided a silent cue for him to continue.
“I sure as hell am not going anywhere unless it’s with the nine of you beside me.” Junmyeon gazed around again, and waited for the inevitable heckling to occur.
This time however, no one made a sound.
Nobody laughed, and not one pillow was thrown.
Junmyeon gulped, took a leap, and held his hand out; silently hoping the others would follow. He closed his eyes, willing the tears away at least until he was back in the solitude of his bed.
Not one second later, he felt a warm hand over his. No longer able to keep his tears at bay, he looked up to see Minseok, eyes watery, smiling at him tenderly. One by one, hands were on Junmyeon’s. He sobbed once, looking around at his members. Kyungsoo’s eyes were closed, head resting on Chanyeol’s shoulder as he cried silently. Jongin, Sehun and Zitao had arms around each other. Baekhyun and Jongdae both gave Junmyeon fiercely resolute looks, their free hands intertwined so tight their knuckles were white. Yixing and Minseok were on either side of Junmyeon; their outstretched arms giving him the remaining strength he needed to say the three words that had been haunting him for months.
“We are one.”
----
Final author's note: to be perfectly honest, halfway through I was tempted to turn this into an ot9. But alas, time was just not on my side (wow tao superpower reference what??? Lol ok time to stop typing)