A Matter of Knickers [Harry Potter - D/Hr] | PG-13 | Drabble
Author: Michiko
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Innuendo
Genre: Humor
Summary: Draco’s done something colossally stupid, and Hermione is quite upset.
Author's Note: Pointless, and random, and corny, but have fun reading it anyway! =P
Disclaimer: Harry Potter © J.K. Rowling. I only own the writing
Status: Drabble - Complete
“You prat!”
Thud.
“Ouch! What in bloody hell’s name was that for, Granger?! That hurt my effing head!”
“Well, you deserved it, you dim-witted git! How could you?”
“Granger…” Sigh. “Is this about your knickers again?”
“What do you mean again? This is the first time I’ve brought it up!”
“Except when you were screaming at Blaise for hanging them on his bedpost.”
“He deserved it, too!! It’s embarrassing and indecent, you mongrel!”
“So go tell him that.”
“I bloody well have! And now it’s your turn.”
Thud.
“Ow! Fuck, woman! Put that damn book down and stop abusing me!”
“Abusing you, am I? I haven’t even warmed up yet, Malfoy. Wait until you see just how badly I can abuse you, you pestering, filthy, crass - ”
“Whoa, whoa...calm down. Enough with the insults already.”
“Would you prefer to be slapped instead?”
“…”
“I thought so.”
Sigh. “Hermione, let it go. It was hours ago. Besides, it was only a couple of Slytherin boys who saw it - excluding me and Blaise, of course.”
“That’s not the point, you twit!”
“What is the point then?” “It’s the principle of the matter. You can’t just prance around stealing the Head Girl’s knickers! Or any girl, for that matter. Especially used ones! Even if they’re your girlfriend’s!”
Chuckle. “You’re so amusing when you’re all riled up.”
“Grrr! Draco Malfoy!!!”
Thud. SLAP.
“Ow! OW! Damn, enough! Blimey, you’re violent.”
“Grrr…why you…you…!”
Sigh. “Granger, I’m sorry, all right? It was only a joke.”
“Well, of course it was only a joke. It was especially hilarious when you showed Zabini and your monkeys. So bloody funny.”
“Relax, Granger. It won’t happen again. I swear it.”
“It shouldn’t have even happened in the first place.”
“I was…I was proving a point, ok? We were talking about sex and shit, and they were all on about how the wenches they’d been with smelled like old people’s socks. I was proving that my girl smelled like heaven in every single part of her body.”
“…”
“Oh, come on, Hermione. It’s nothing to get all flushed and embarrassed about.”
“Nothing? Nothing! Draco, my knickers!! And your friends have no business knowing what I smell like anyway!”
“Of course, baby, of course. I’m sorry.”
“…”
“…”
“You know, just because you kiss me doesn’t mean I forgive you.”
Smirk. “Oh, I’m not worried. You will eventually.”
“…”
“…”
“Prat.”
“Yours.”
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Innuendo
Genre: Humor
Summary: Draco’s done something colossally stupid, and Hermione is quite upset.
Author's Note: Pointless, and random, and corny, but have fun reading it anyway! =P
Disclaimer: Harry Potter © J.K. Rowling. I only own the writing
Status: Drabble - Complete
“You prat!”
Thud.
“Ouch! What in bloody hell’s name was that for, Granger?! That hurt my effing head!”
“Well, you deserved it, you dim-witted git! How could you?”
“Granger…” Sigh. “Is this about your knickers again?”
“What do you mean again? This is the first time I’ve brought it up!”
“Except when you were screaming at Blaise for hanging them on his bedpost.”
“He deserved it, too!! It’s embarrassing and indecent, you mongrel!”
“So go tell him that.”
“I bloody well have! And now it’s your turn.”
Thud.
“Ow! Fuck, woman! Put that damn book down and stop abusing me!”
“Abusing you, am I? I haven’t even warmed up yet, Malfoy. Wait until you see just how badly I can abuse you, you pestering, filthy, crass - ”
“Whoa, whoa...calm down. Enough with the insults already.”
“Would you prefer to be slapped instead?”
“…”
“I thought so.”
Sigh. “Hermione, let it go. It was hours ago. Besides, it was only a couple of Slytherin boys who saw it - excluding me and Blaise, of course.”
“That’s not the point, you twit!”
“What is the point then?” “It’s the principle of the matter. You can’t just prance around stealing the Head Girl’s knickers! Or any girl, for that matter. Especially used ones! Even if they’re your girlfriend’s!”
Chuckle. “You’re so amusing when you’re all riled up.”
“Grrr! Draco Malfoy!!!”
Thud. SLAP.
“Ow! OW! Damn, enough! Blimey, you’re violent.”
“Grrr…why you…you…!”
Sigh. “Granger, I’m sorry, all right? It was only a joke.”
“Well, of course it was only a joke. It was especially hilarious when you showed Zabini and your monkeys. So bloody funny.”
“Relax, Granger. It won’t happen again. I swear it.”
“It shouldn’t have even happened in the first place.”
“I was…I was proving a point, ok? We were talking about sex and shit, and they were all on about how the wenches they’d been with smelled like old people’s socks. I was proving that my girl smelled like heaven in every single part of her body.”
“…”
“Oh, come on, Hermione. It’s nothing to get all flushed and embarrassed about.”
“Nothing? Nothing! Draco, my knickers!! And your friends have no business knowing what I smell like anyway!”
“Of course, baby, of course. I’m sorry.”
“…”
“…”
“You know, just because you kiss me doesn’t mean I forgive you.”
Smirk. “Oh, I’m not worried. You will eventually.”
“…”
“…”
“Prat.”
“Yours.”