So Imperfectly Perfect, 16
Title:So Imperfectly Perfect
Author: heartsdesire456
Rating:Up to NC-17, but not for a while
POV: 3rd
Pairing: Treckett
Summary: Time has little meaning for William Beckett. His once full and vibrant life has been reduced to the inside of his apartment and his three friends. For a person so young, his life holds little hope for anything more than hiding. Hiding from fear, hiding from pain... even hiding from his family. When a stranger moves in down the hall, William's routine is shattered by this unexpected intruder. Whether or not he wants the intrusion is a whole other question.
Disclaimer: ...i'm almost certain William Beckett isn't a shut in with emotional scars, but if that changes, I'll be sure to update this disclaimer.
WARNING: This fic contains possible triggers for certain people. I won't warn and give it away (though it's pretty obvious from the start) but it does get pretty triggery and intense at moments. Not terribly, it's mostly just emotional responses, but still... be warned!
Author's Note:Here! Have another!
William still felt very uneasy on his treks down the hall of their apartment building on his way to Travis’s apartment. When he was with Travis he was basically fine but alone he was still uneasy. He tugged his new shirt down, smiling when it actually didn’t need tugging, then knocked on Travis’s door.
Travis opened it almost immediately, then ducked out. “Hey, I didn’t know you were coming,” he said and William raised an eyebrow.
“I usually don’t bother warning,” he said then tilted his head. “You busy or something?”
Travis cringed. “My mom’s here,” he said and William bit his lip, fighting to not show the disappointment he felt at not getting to see Travis that day. “Hey,” Travis said, looking at him. “I know she scared you once before, but if you think you’re okay enough, do you maybe want to meet her? You can stay for dinner,” he offered, smiling. “Mama cooks pretty awesome food.”
William bit his lip. “Well… are you sure you don’t mind?”
Travis rolled his eyes. “Bill, if you don’t get scared again, I’d love for you to stay. My mother will love you,” he said and William gave him a small smile.
“I think I’ll be okay,” he said and Travis nodded, opening the door wider. William could see Travis’s mom sitting on the couch and he flinched slightly but gave Travis a strong, brave face. “I’m okay enough for this,” he said and Travis just smiled at him encouragingly.
“Of course you are.” He turned and led William inside. “Hey mama,” he called out and she looked up. “You remember William, right?” he asked and William gave her a sheepish smile.
“Of course,” she said, giving him an apologetic smile. “Hey there,” she said and he waved a tiny wave.
“Hi.”
Travis smiled, hand on his back gently. “William’s gonna stay for dinner,” he said and she smiled brighter. “Fair warning,” he told William with a jokingly solemn tone. “You will leave here fat,” he said and William laughed at the unexpected warning.
“Well that’s okay, obviously I’m not exactly obese,” he joked and Travis breathed easier when he noticed William lose some of the tension he was holding. “I’m sorry about last time,” he said bravely, walking over to sit on the opposite end of the couch from Travis’s mom.
“Oh, hush baby, that’s okay,” she said, waving a hand. “I’m sorry I scared you,” she offered.
William shrugged. “Everything used to scare me,” he admitted, then smiled up at Travis, who felt proud. “Travie met me and I was more terrified of him than anything,” he said, laughing. “And look at him now, he’s the least frightening thing out there for me.”
“Yeah but I worked long and hard to get you comfortable with me,” Travis said, walking over to sit on the edge of the coffee table, facing the two on the couch. “It wasn’t easy winning your trust. I think there’s wild animals out there who are less skittish than you were.”
William just smiled. “Nah, I learned to trust you faster than anybody else,” he said and Travis gave him a sad smile. “But!” he said, smiling brightly. “One of the reasons I was coming over is because I called my mom and asked her to come see me!”
Travis’s eyes widened. “That’s great!” he said, then reached out and took William’s hand in his. “You’re getting better, Kid,” he said proudly. “You’re so much better,” he said, shaking his head with a disbelieving sigh. “Fuck, that’s awesome.”
William nodded, laughing happily. “I know! I think it’s got to be easy this time. I mean, I can go out in public so I have to be able to be around my mom. I feel ready. I almost feel ready enough to be around my sister or maybe even my dad, but I’ll try my mom first, just to be safe,” he added.
“Of course, no, I get it,” he said, gazing at William’s happy face. “I am so proud of you,” he said earnestly, earning a sweeter smile.
“Thank you.”
Charlotte looked between them and then smiled, standing up, groaning as she straightened up. “Oh I’m getting so old,” she said, hand going to her back with a cringe. “Come help your mama in the kitchen,” she said and Travis stood up, obediently following his mother.
William really studied them and was surprised to see a good deal of resemblance. To have so many features of his ethnicity and for his mother to be so old, Travis clearly had her eyes and smile. His lips were much more plump and his face wasn’t wrinkled yet like hers was, but when she smiled her eyes crinkled the same way Travis’s did and her cheeks rounded out like his did. She was also pretty tall to be a woman in her sixties so he figured Travis probably got that from her family as well.
William giggled when he noticed that Travis had her hips as well. His baggy pants hid it a lot of the time, but William had noticed that Travis had wide, round, lady-like hips. It was cute to see them standing side by side because they had a lot of the same mannerisms. William wondered if he would grow up to have resemblances to his mom’s mannerisms as well, since he looked a lot like her. He just sat back, watching Travis interact with his mother and suddenly felt really happy he’d asked to see his own mother. He missed her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After dinner, Travis and William were curled up on the couch while Travis’s mother sat in the chair. They were all watching TV and commentating on the show they were watching.
“No, no, William, the point isn’t that she’s fat-“
“I don’t get any point!” he stressed, cutting Travis off. “I’m so confused,” he said, smiling with his eyes as he pouted dramatically.
Travis rolled his eyes. “You are so deprived, kid,” he said, then started to explain, only to notice William shivering. “You cold?”
William blushed but nodded. “But it’s okay, you’re warm,” he said, tucking into Travis’s side closer.
“Nah, hold up,” Travis said, sitting up. He unzipped his hoodie and shrugged it off, offering it to William. “I’m seriously far from cold, you can have it,” he said, holding up the arms when William turned and let him slide it on.
“Thanks,” William said, zipping it up with a smile. “You’re giant and wear too-big clothes so when I wear them they eat me,” he joked, tugging his knees under the hoodie, wrapping his arms around them, cuffs down over his hands.
Travis felt his stomach twist at how beautiful William looked, curled up in a tiny ball, huddled in his jacket. He loved how small William was. He was a tall guy but he was so tiny and fit so well in Travis’s arms when he leaned against him and let Travis curl an arm around him. Travis watched his face, cataloguing every expression as he laughed at the television. When William’s eyelids started to fall shut and he fluttered his eyelashes, trying to stay awake, Travis just curled both arms around him, sliding down so that he could hold William as he drifted off to sleep.
William had been napping with his head on Travis’s shoulder, Travis’s chin leaned against his mess of wavy curls for a while when there came a loud knock at the door, startling William so that he jumped and gasped, looking around with wide, somewhat confused eyes as he breathed fast.
Travis quickly grabbed his hands. “Hey- hey shhhh,” he said, finally catching William’s eyes. He saw him really waking up and shushed him. “You’re okay,” he said, reaching up to brush his curls from his face. “Shhhhh, you’re alright,” he soothed.
William finally took a calming breath and nodded, hand flapping over his chest. “Holy shit that was disorienting,” he said and Travis just smiled.
“Alright, lemme get that,” he said as the knocks returned almost violently. He hopped up and rushed to the door, only to have it shoved open as soon as he had it open a crack.
“Is William here?!” Mike asked, eyes wide.
William gasped and glanced at the clock, cringing. “Oh fuck!” he cried, seeing that it was nearly midnight. He jumped up. “Oh my God, Mike I’m so sorry!” he said, rushing towards the door. “Charlotte it was great to really meet you,” he called over his shoulder, rushing to duck under Travis’s arm. “Oh I’m sorry,” he said, cringing when Mike hugged him in relief. “Soooo sorry,” he apologized again.
“You okay?” Travis asked and William cringed.
“I told him I’d be home before ten,” he said and Mike sighed.
“It’s okay,” he said, lifting his head. “I was out with Sisky and he said he was hanging out with you and you guys go out sometimes and when I got here at midnight and Bill wasn’t home I panicked, sorry dude,” he said, actually looking apologetic for freaking out on Travis’s door.
“No, it’s cool,” Travis said, shaking his head. “I’d freak out too,” he said, then put a hand on William’s shoulder. “Should’ve told me, kid, I’d have woke you up,” he said and William just smiled sweetly.
“I was too comfortable to bother, you’re so warm,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Alright, let’s go home, Mike,” he said and Travis glanced over only to frown when he saw Mike eying him suspiciously.
Travis just turned back to William. “Night, kid,” he said, reaching out to take his hand, squeezing it.
William just smiled up at him brightly. “Night Travie,” he said, leaning in for a short hug before tugging away when Mike grabbed at his hand.
Travis shut the door and sighed, leaning back against it. “Jesus Christ,” he groaned, shaking his head with his eyes shut as he thought about how much it bothered him to see William leave. It was starting to be just too much.
“He’s a really sweet man, Travis.” Travis looked up and saw his mother watching him with a knowing look. He groaned, shuffling over to the couch before dropping down.
“Mama, don’t even suggest-“
“I see the way you look at him, baby,” she said and Travis groaned pitifully. “He seems to really care for you, sweetie.”
“Mama, I’m so fucked,” he admitted and she chuckled. He sat up and sighed, putting his head in his hands. “I’m getting so fucking obsessed-“
“It’s called love, sugar,” she said and he shot her a look. “I don’t see why you’re so upset over something that makes you happy-“
“Mama, I’m his friend. I’m the person he trusts to take him places and do things with him. I can’t be so obsessed like this because he’ll notice and start to be afraid of me again,” he said, then cringed. “God I don’t want him to be afraid anymore.”
She eyed him curiously. “Why’s he so easily startled? You told me once he was agoraphobic but clearly it’s getting better and that’s not usual with general agoraphobia,” she said and he smiled.
“You smart woman,” he teased and she waved a hand.
“Travis, stop avoiding,” she said.
He sighed. “Never tell him I told you this,” he demanded and she nodded. Travis bit his lip. “When William was a kid…” Travis shuddered. “When he was seventeen he used to play his guitar and sing, like, on the streets. Just having fun, making music.” He smiled. “Probably put a smile on the face of everybody that passed him,” he said sadly.
“Aww, that’s so sweet, baby,” Charlotte said and Travis looked down, smile fading. “Did something happen to him? To make him so scared?”
Travis nodded. “When he as seventeen he was walking home and he decided to take a shortcut behind the mall.” He looked down at his hands. “A group of guys attacked him.”
“Oh that poor baby!” Charlotte said, putting a hand over her mouth.
Travis shuddered. “I don’t remember if it was three or four, but they were all bigger and he was shorter then, he says, so he was this- this skinny little boy,” he bit his lip. “And they jumped him and they-“ He took a deep breath and let it out, nearly whispering the words. “They raped him,” he said, glancing up at his mother, only to see her eyes wide with shock. “All of them. They raped him and left him for dead. He didn’t come home and his parents were frantic and they called his friends and the guy he lives with- Mike,” he said, gesturing to the door. “He went out looking for him. He found him beaten and naked in an alley, unconscious.” He shook his head. “After that William tells me he lived with his parents until he was eighteen and then moved out to be with Mike because his parents were going to put him in a mental institution since he didn’t talk and he kept hacking his hair off and he was terrified of his own family,” he said weakly.
“Oh my God, that’s horrible,” she whispered, looking at him with shocked eyes.
He shook his head. “Bill’s life pretty much ended when he was seventeen and he’s just been existing for so long. In the time I’ve known him, something about me has helped him start to piece together his life again. And I don’t want to scare him or make him feel uncomfortable around me because whatever it is about me, I’m still the only person he’ll let take him outside of this building,” he said. “I can’t scare him off and send him back to existing when he’s finally starting to live again.”
She smiled at him sadly. “Maybe what he needs, honey, is somebody to love him?” she offered and Travis snorted.
“He deserves somebody to love him,” he said, then shook his head as he stood up. “But not an old ex-con,” he said as he went to clean up the kitchen, leaving his mother alone in the living room.
Author: heartsdesire456
Rating:Up to NC-17, but not for a while
POV: 3rd
Pairing: Treckett
Summary: Time has little meaning for William Beckett. His once full and vibrant life has been reduced to the inside of his apartment and his three friends. For a person so young, his life holds little hope for anything more than hiding. Hiding from fear, hiding from pain... even hiding from his family. When a stranger moves in down the hall, William's routine is shattered by this unexpected intruder. Whether or not he wants the intrusion is a whole other question.
Disclaimer: ...i'm almost certain William Beckett isn't a shut in with emotional scars, but if that changes, I'll be sure to update this disclaimer.
WARNING: This fic contains possible triggers for certain people. I won't warn and give it away (though it's pretty obvious from the start) but it does get pretty triggery and intense at moments. Not terribly, it's mostly just emotional responses, but still... be warned!
Author's Note:Here! Have another!
William still felt very uneasy on his treks down the hall of their apartment building on his way to Travis’s apartment. When he was with Travis he was basically fine but alone he was still uneasy. He tugged his new shirt down, smiling when it actually didn’t need tugging, then knocked on Travis’s door.
Travis opened it almost immediately, then ducked out. “Hey, I didn’t know you were coming,” he said and William raised an eyebrow.
“I usually don’t bother warning,” he said then tilted his head. “You busy or something?”
Travis cringed. “My mom’s here,” he said and William bit his lip, fighting to not show the disappointment he felt at not getting to see Travis that day. “Hey,” Travis said, looking at him. “I know she scared you once before, but if you think you’re okay enough, do you maybe want to meet her? You can stay for dinner,” he offered, smiling. “Mama cooks pretty awesome food.”
William bit his lip. “Well… are you sure you don’t mind?”
Travis rolled his eyes. “Bill, if you don’t get scared again, I’d love for you to stay. My mother will love you,” he said and William gave him a small smile.
“I think I’ll be okay,” he said and Travis nodded, opening the door wider. William could see Travis’s mom sitting on the couch and he flinched slightly but gave Travis a strong, brave face. “I’m okay enough for this,” he said and Travis just smiled at him encouragingly.
“Of course you are.” He turned and led William inside. “Hey mama,” he called out and she looked up. “You remember William, right?” he asked and William gave her a sheepish smile.
“Of course,” she said, giving him an apologetic smile. “Hey there,” she said and he waved a tiny wave.
“Hi.”
Travis smiled, hand on his back gently. “William’s gonna stay for dinner,” he said and she smiled brighter. “Fair warning,” he told William with a jokingly solemn tone. “You will leave here fat,” he said and William laughed at the unexpected warning.
“Well that’s okay, obviously I’m not exactly obese,” he joked and Travis breathed easier when he noticed William lose some of the tension he was holding. “I’m sorry about last time,” he said bravely, walking over to sit on the opposite end of the couch from Travis’s mom.
“Oh, hush baby, that’s okay,” she said, waving a hand. “I’m sorry I scared you,” she offered.
William shrugged. “Everything used to scare me,” he admitted, then smiled up at Travis, who felt proud. “Travie met me and I was more terrified of him than anything,” he said, laughing. “And look at him now, he’s the least frightening thing out there for me.”
“Yeah but I worked long and hard to get you comfortable with me,” Travis said, walking over to sit on the edge of the coffee table, facing the two on the couch. “It wasn’t easy winning your trust. I think there’s wild animals out there who are less skittish than you were.”
William just smiled. “Nah, I learned to trust you faster than anybody else,” he said and Travis gave him a sad smile. “But!” he said, smiling brightly. “One of the reasons I was coming over is because I called my mom and asked her to come see me!”
Travis’s eyes widened. “That’s great!” he said, then reached out and took William’s hand in his. “You’re getting better, Kid,” he said proudly. “You’re so much better,” he said, shaking his head with a disbelieving sigh. “Fuck, that’s awesome.”
William nodded, laughing happily. “I know! I think it’s got to be easy this time. I mean, I can go out in public so I have to be able to be around my mom. I feel ready. I almost feel ready enough to be around my sister or maybe even my dad, but I’ll try my mom first, just to be safe,” he added.
“Of course, no, I get it,” he said, gazing at William’s happy face. “I am so proud of you,” he said earnestly, earning a sweeter smile.
“Thank you.”
Charlotte looked between them and then smiled, standing up, groaning as she straightened up. “Oh I’m getting so old,” she said, hand going to her back with a cringe. “Come help your mama in the kitchen,” she said and Travis stood up, obediently following his mother.
William really studied them and was surprised to see a good deal of resemblance. To have so many features of his ethnicity and for his mother to be so old, Travis clearly had her eyes and smile. His lips were much more plump and his face wasn’t wrinkled yet like hers was, but when she smiled her eyes crinkled the same way Travis’s did and her cheeks rounded out like his did. She was also pretty tall to be a woman in her sixties so he figured Travis probably got that from her family as well.
William giggled when he noticed that Travis had her hips as well. His baggy pants hid it a lot of the time, but William had noticed that Travis had wide, round, lady-like hips. It was cute to see them standing side by side because they had a lot of the same mannerisms. William wondered if he would grow up to have resemblances to his mom’s mannerisms as well, since he looked a lot like her. He just sat back, watching Travis interact with his mother and suddenly felt really happy he’d asked to see his own mother. He missed her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After dinner, Travis and William were curled up on the couch while Travis’s mother sat in the chair. They were all watching TV and commentating on the show they were watching.
“No, no, William, the point isn’t that she’s fat-“
“I don’t get any point!” he stressed, cutting Travis off. “I’m so confused,” he said, smiling with his eyes as he pouted dramatically.
Travis rolled his eyes. “You are so deprived, kid,” he said, then started to explain, only to notice William shivering. “You cold?”
William blushed but nodded. “But it’s okay, you’re warm,” he said, tucking into Travis’s side closer.
“Nah, hold up,” Travis said, sitting up. He unzipped his hoodie and shrugged it off, offering it to William. “I’m seriously far from cold, you can have it,” he said, holding up the arms when William turned and let him slide it on.
“Thanks,” William said, zipping it up with a smile. “You’re giant and wear too-big clothes so when I wear them they eat me,” he joked, tugging his knees under the hoodie, wrapping his arms around them, cuffs down over his hands.
Travis felt his stomach twist at how beautiful William looked, curled up in a tiny ball, huddled in his jacket. He loved how small William was. He was a tall guy but he was so tiny and fit so well in Travis’s arms when he leaned against him and let Travis curl an arm around him. Travis watched his face, cataloguing every expression as he laughed at the television. When William’s eyelids started to fall shut and he fluttered his eyelashes, trying to stay awake, Travis just curled both arms around him, sliding down so that he could hold William as he drifted off to sleep.
William had been napping with his head on Travis’s shoulder, Travis’s chin leaned against his mess of wavy curls for a while when there came a loud knock at the door, startling William so that he jumped and gasped, looking around with wide, somewhat confused eyes as he breathed fast.
Travis quickly grabbed his hands. “Hey- hey shhhh,” he said, finally catching William’s eyes. He saw him really waking up and shushed him. “You’re okay,” he said, reaching up to brush his curls from his face. “Shhhhh, you’re alright,” he soothed.
William finally took a calming breath and nodded, hand flapping over his chest. “Holy shit that was disorienting,” he said and Travis just smiled.
“Alright, lemme get that,” he said as the knocks returned almost violently. He hopped up and rushed to the door, only to have it shoved open as soon as he had it open a crack.
“Is William here?!” Mike asked, eyes wide.
William gasped and glanced at the clock, cringing. “Oh fuck!” he cried, seeing that it was nearly midnight. He jumped up. “Oh my God, Mike I’m so sorry!” he said, rushing towards the door. “Charlotte it was great to really meet you,” he called over his shoulder, rushing to duck under Travis’s arm. “Oh I’m sorry,” he said, cringing when Mike hugged him in relief. “Soooo sorry,” he apologized again.
“You okay?” Travis asked and William cringed.
“I told him I’d be home before ten,” he said and Mike sighed.
“It’s okay,” he said, lifting his head. “I was out with Sisky and he said he was hanging out with you and you guys go out sometimes and when I got here at midnight and Bill wasn’t home I panicked, sorry dude,” he said, actually looking apologetic for freaking out on Travis’s door.
“No, it’s cool,” Travis said, shaking his head. “I’d freak out too,” he said, then put a hand on William’s shoulder. “Should’ve told me, kid, I’d have woke you up,” he said and William just smiled sweetly.
“I was too comfortable to bother, you’re so warm,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Alright, let’s go home, Mike,” he said and Travis glanced over only to frown when he saw Mike eying him suspiciously.
Travis just turned back to William. “Night, kid,” he said, reaching out to take his hand, squeezing it.
William just smiled up at him brightly. “Night Travie,” he said, leaning in for a short hug before tugging away when Mike grabbed at his hand.
Travis shut the door and sighed, leaning back against it. “Jesus Christ,” he groaned, shaking his head with his eyes shut as he thought about how much it bothered him to see William leave. It was starting to be just too much.
“He’s a really sweet man, Travis.” Travis looked up and saw his mother watching him with a knowing look. He groaned, shuffling over to the couch before dropping down.
“Mama, don’t even suggest-“
“I see the way you look at him, baby,” she said and Travis groaned pitifully. “He seems to really care for you, sweetie.”
“Mama, I’m so fucked,” he admitted and she chuckled. He sat up and sighed, putting his head in his hands. “I’m getting so fucking obsessed-“
“It’s called love, sugar,” she said and he shot her a look. “I don’t see why you’re so upset over something that makes you happy-“
“Mama, I’m his friend. I’m the person he trusts to take him places and do things with him. I can’t be so obsessed like this because he’ll notice and start to be afraid of me again,” he said, then cringed. “God I don’t want him to be afraid anymore.”
She eyed him curiously. “Why’s he so easily startled? You told me once he was agoraphobic but clearly it’s getting better and that’s not usual with general agoraphobia,” she said and he smiled.
“You smart woman,” he teased and she waved a hand.
“Travis, stop avoiding,” she said.
He sighed. “Never tell him I told you this,” he demanded and she nodded. Travis bit his lip. “When William was a kid…” Travis shuddered. “When he was seventeen he used to play his guitar and sing, like, on the streets. Just having fun, making music.” He smiled. “Probably put a smile on the face of everybody that passed him,” he said sadly.
“Aww, that’s so sweet, baby,” Charlotte said and Travis looked down, smile fading. “Did something happen to him? To make him so scared?”
Travis nodded. “When he as seventeen he was walking home and he decided to take a shortcut behind the mall.” He looked down at his hands. “A group of guys attacked him.”
“Oh that poor baby!” Charlotte said, putting a hand over her mouth.
Travis shuddered. “I don’t remember if it was three or four, but they were all bigger and he was shorter then, he says, so he was this- this skinny little boy,” he bit his lip. “And they jumped him and they-“ He took a deep breath and let it out, nearly whispering the words. “They raped him,” he said, glancing up at his mother, only to see her eyes wide with shock. “All of them. They raped him and left him for dead. He didn’t come home and his parents were frantic and they called his friends and the guy he lives with- Mike,” he said, gesturing to the door. “He went out looking for him. He found him beaten and naked in an alley, unconscious.” He shook his head. “After that William tells me he lived with his parents until he was eighteen and then moved out to be with Mike because his parents were going to put him in a mental institution since he didn’t talk and he kept hacking his hair off and he was terrified of his own family,” he said weakly.
“Oh my God, that’s horrible,” she whispered, looking at him with shocked eyes.
He shook his head. “Bill’s life pretty much ended when he was seventeen and he’s just been existing for so long. In the time I’ve known him, something about me has helped him start to piece together his life again. And I don’t want to scare him or make him feel uncomfortable around me because whatever it is about me, I’m still the only person he’ll let take him outside of this building,” he said. “I can’t scare him off and send him back to existing when he’s finally starting to live again.”
She smiled at him sadly. “Maybe what he needs, honey, is somebody to love him?” she offered and Travis snorted.
“He deserves somebody to love him,” he said, then shook his head as he stood up. “But not an old ex-con,” he said as he went to clean up the kitchen, leaving his mother alone in the living room.