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Jun 03, 2011 21:27

I wish I looked like a plus size model... they have the best bodies, IMO ( Read more... )

model, *pout*, fat

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heartsdesire456 June 4 2011, 03:46:01 UTC
If I had been one of the lucky tall girls (unless youre breathedeep222 and wants to be short) and had gotten lucky without cellulite and stretchmarks, you can BELIEVE I'd have been hitting up agents. Bad skin is fixable by makeup and photoshop... they can book me in things I don't have to smile for, lmao. You can BELIEVE that.

But yeah, I don't want to be skinny at all. I mean, some people look good skinny but I think the smallest I COULD be is about an 8 without being skeletal because, though it's usually a copout for being fat when most people say it, I'm actually a LARGE person, lol. I've got broad shoulders and my fucking rib-cage is too big for the fucking medium sized teeshirts on your average shelf now-a-days. I want to be a 10 I think.

Man, my senior year of high school, the spring/summer before I somehow shot up ONE last inch and lost about five pounds but the combination SOMEHOW took me down to a size 12 and dude... I fucking LOVED how I looked, lmao. I was still, honestly, pretty fat so I didn't like.. walk around naked and shit, but it was to the point that I was thinner than I could remember being, my boobs and butt hadn't gotten smaller (my biggest fear, though I complain about them, is that I'll lose weight and it'll ALL be from my boobs and ass) and I felt SO good, lol.

NOW I'm still as healthy as I was then, but I'm as fat as I was when I was 15 (I weigh more now than i did then, but I'm a good 2 inches taller too) so it's depressing. I have 3 pairs of jeans (2 size 12s and one size 14) in my closet that I can't wear anymore and it's like... really depressing to pay $30 for a new pair of jeans when there's 3 perfectly good pairs in the closet, youre jsut too fat.

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i_glitterz June 4 2011, 04:35:44 UTC
This will sound cheesy and stupid, but Adam actually helped me lose weight..before him I was 218 (at 5'3 mind you) and then I got really into him..stopped eating so much, no more regular pop, and I just stopped having a one track mind towards food...I lost 50 pounds in about 8 months and have kept it off since...

I can actually look in the mirror for the first time in my life and think that I'm beautiful..

It sounds really cheesy, but he really helped me out :)

I wanted to be a model b/c I have a beautiful smile (def. not being conceded there lol) but I hate my body because I lost weight sooo fast and now I have a little muffin that needs to die!!!! I lost most of my ass (still there though lol) It just got a little smaller.. you can see it in jeans and skin tight tights..I actually bought a pair of shorts a few days ago and I about cried b/c I could actually point out my ass LMAO!!

I don't think I could do the run way modeling (being short and all) but photo modeling or commercial modeling I could probably do :)

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heartsdesire456 June 4 2011, 04:55:29 UTC
Lol, I swear this isn't saying anything bad about you, it's GREAT you did so well..

but that shit sooo pisses me off to hear, dude. I haven't really eaten bad since I was 16 years old, I hit 200 and freaked out. I stopped drinking normal sodas, I stopped my daily bag of potato chips (i ate a bag of salt and vinegar chips every afternoon after school), I stopped eating as much fried food, and tbh that's the only BAD stuff I was doing. I never ate a LOT I just drank my weight in Dr. Pepper and ate the shit out of salt and vinegar potato chips.

... I didn't lose a POUND!

Sure, getting addicted to Diet Coke doesn't help anybody (it ISNT good for weight loss, just better for your health in general since its sugar free and low sodium), but after that my mom started having high blood pressure problems so at home we started eating low sodium food, we already didn't fry ANYTHING, everything was grilled and we eat a lot of steamed vegetables, everything...

I GAINED weight, dude. I mean, sure, a lot of it was because I grew from about 5'5 to nearly 5'7", but still... my senior year when i 'lost' down to a size 12... I weighed 195 still. SURE I was in much better shape (at 15 I coudln't squat down and stand back up without putting my hands on my knees... yikes) but I mean, all the 'little things help!' shit doesnt apply to me.

It's like... I only ever take the stairs, never elevators, I park far out in the parking lot just for the sake of not having to worry about people parking too close for me to get my door open, I can remember being the fattest girl in my group of friends and yet I was the ONLY one who had never eaten a big mac (only had about 5 in my LIFE and that's since I was 17) and my friends used to think something was wrong with me because I couldn't drink a large milkshake in middle school when the other girls did (Now I woudln't touch a milk shake if you PAID me for all the calories in it)

I mean, they say the average american eats 4500 calories a day (holy fuck!) and I am 75lbs overweight when I try to keep my calorie intake to the 2000 you're supposed to for a healthy diet...

I didn't snack or eat dessert or ANYTHING for 2 years and I never lost a POUND.

And then my senior year I got pissed at it and started eating cookies for breakfast and a brownie at break between breakfast and lunch, and eating snacks before bed... and lost weight, Sure it was only about 5 or 10lbs, but really... people talking about 'oh I just cut some of my diet out and started taking the stairs at school!' and then they lose 20lbs... GAHHHHH

Can you IMAGINE my rage? lmao. Now I've just said 'fuck it' and I eat whatever the hell I want because it doesn't change anything when I eat better or worse.

*helps that 'whatever the hell I want' usually means like... a second helping of steamed brocolli or an extra handful of blackberries when I walk past the refrigerator... I don't LIKE sugary, fat-filled, greasy, NASTY foods like that. I fucking HATE when i'm in a rush to get back to the campus during the school year and have to eat fast food*

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i_glitterz June 4 2011, 05:19:23 UTC
What's really funny is I want the exact opposite of you..

I ate candy all the time..chocolate, Reeses, Snickers, paydays, fries, chicken nuggets, pretty much anything greasy, salty and sugary and I gain 30 pounds in three months..I got high blood pressure and high cholesterol and my body was resisting the insolen it was creating..I was on the end of Diabetes and everything...I was so scared because I didn't know what to do..then all of a sudden when I started listening to Adam, I forgot about food most of the time..stopped eating junk food all together..no real sugar or sugary things..no more pop unless it was Dt. Dr. Pepper and I had salads with grilled chicken and stir fry made with chicken and Asparagus...

That was actually the most I have ever weighed and it was so embarrassing LOL..I went to the amusement park last summer with my family and we walked around all day..we went on this water slide thing and then walked around in wet clothes..I started chaffing between my legs and rubbed my skin raw..it hurt sooo bad to walk for like four days..

I will never be that big again..it's scary and I am finally happy with myself now..so I wouldn't change anything now :)

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