Glitterific! (The Sparkliest Tour Ever), 24
Glitterific! (The Sparkliest Tour Ever)
Author: heartsdesire456
Rating: up to NC-17
POV: 3rd
Pairing: Multiple
Summary: (forgive the lame ass summary, its not a serious fic, its practically crack!) Tokio Hotel's lower ticket sales and expensive tour have left them in a tight spot. When their management find the best answer to their dilemma, they find themselves in a place they never wanted to be...second in line-up for a Adam Lambert tour. When the openers end up being newly reunited Cinema Bizarre, who feel lucky to just get a chance to tour North America again, one thing is for sure... it is sure to be the sparkliest tour ever.
Author's Note: my throat is getting sore, I kept passing out all night and NOW that I'm ready for bed I'm WIDE awake... and I slept 4 hours last night and have to be up in 6 hours from right now... FML... Enjoy this update *pouts*
Brooke cornered Tommy, who was hiding out on the bus. “Okay, what’s going on?” she asked, forcing her way into his bunk.
Tommy frowned. “What do you mean?” he asked with wide, innocent eyes.
She tossed her hair. “That shit may work on Adam, but I know your game,” she said pointedly. “What happened at the club, what happened with the phone, and that tweet, and Adam freaking out today?” she asked.
Tommy sighed. “I’m not straight,” he said hoarsely, lying back as he put his hand over his eyes.
“No shit,” she said pointedly.
Tommy chuckled. “I was dancing with this guy, and having a good time, then Adam in all his fucking toppy glory comes and butts in and convinces the dude I was making out with to go with him instead,” he blushed. “Horny and pissed off doesn’t work together well,” he admitted. “What I tweeted wasn’t something I’m proud of. I really could’ve hurt Adam’s reputation with that shit. But seriously, what the hell?! It’s totally against guy-code to cock-block like that,” he said, then shot her a look. “I’m pretty serious about my guy-code.”
She nodded. “Okay, then what was the screaming match heard down the halls and Adam being at the end of his rope today? He’s showing his fiery red-head side today, dude,” she said, cringing.
Tommy groaned and shot her a look. “What do you think happened,” he whispered, and she smiled sympathetically.
“Poor baby,” she said, petting his head and tugging at his bangs, earning a grumble as he pulled away. “Can’t say I blame you, you never really had any chance,” she said, and Tommy laughed softly.
“I know, that’s the worst part,” he said softly, smiling sadly. “I really didn’t realize it until like… very, very recently. Or if I did realize, I denied it,” he said. “That’s what’s up with the boys behind you guys’ backs, trying to figure shit out,” he said. “I’m nearly thirty,” he sighed.
She kissed his cheek. “Babe, the minute you walked into that audition, you were doomed to fall for Adam,” she said, and he chuckled, nodding sadly. “You’re completely his type, so he can’t help the flirting, and then you guys are two peas in a pod, so of course, he picked you as one of his best friends… nobody really can help but love Adam when he puts his heart out and sucks everybody he cares about into it, and trust me, you aren’t the first guy to get lost in those pretty blue eyes,” she said. “Not by a longshot.”
Tommy smiled at the ceiling of the bunk. “His eyes are so amazing,” he sighed, then groaned and shuffled around. “I’m so fucked,” he said sadly.
She just laughed. “Yep, you totally are.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Monte found Adam lying in his bed watching a movie. “Hey, can we talk?” he asked, and Adam nodded. “What happened with Tommy?” he asked, and Adam groaned.
“I change my mind about talking, I don’t-“
“Tough. I’ve gotta keep you sane or nobody will be,” he said, and Adam laughed. “What went down?” he asked.
Adam groaned. “He’s an idiot! He’s gone and decided he’s not straight now, and apparently that’s somehow my fault!” he said, scoffing. “Asshole. I can’t believe him,” he said, huffing.
Monte rolled his eye. “Oh, you can’t believe you managed to bend a guy’s straight? Seriously?!” he asked.
Adam groaned. “I REFUSE to bend a straight guy. If you haven’t figured that shit out by the time you’re an adult you have serious issues,” he said pointedly.
Monte shot him a look. “That’s rich coming from you,” he said, and Adam sat up, frowning. “You’re being a hypocrite, Adam! You’re the one that preaches all this shit about love and being yourself and ‘it doesn’t matter who you fuck’-“
“And it doesn’t!” he said. “I don’t give a damn who he sleeps with, but trying to pull some ‘I didn’t know’ shit is ridiculous!” he said. “You don’t suddenly become gay, or bi, or whatever he’s trying to claim!” he argued. “He actually said, when I said that ‘I had never met you’, can you believe that?!” he asked, scoffing.
Monte shook his head. “That just confirms what I was guessing, Adam!” He looked at him. “Who’s to say he’s ever been into guys before? You don’t know that, Adam. I know how your head works, you think he’s just been lying about it, and you’re pissed off he felt like he had to hide it, but what if he hasn’t been?” he asked. “You are a prime example for falling for the totally wrong guys, and you couldn’t help who you fell for!” he said, and Adam frowned.
“What are you getting at?” he asked.
Monte shrugged. “Maybe it was just you? Maybe the other guys are him trying to figure shit out because suddenly he went from ‘it’s just rock’n roll’ to actually having feelings for you, a dude,” he pointed out. “You’re smart but you can’t read minds,” he pointed out.
Adam just frowned. “But… why me?” he asked in confusion.
Monte shook his head. “You know, to be as big and bad as you are you, still really haven’t figured out your appeal, have you?” he asked, and shook his head. “Dude, even before you were famous you’ve always had people eating out of your hands, why do you still expect people to treat you like the fat kid?” he asked, and Adam cringed.
“Ow, that hurt,” he said with a snap. “And I don’t get what you mean, Monte. I’m just me,” he said, shrugging. “Just Adam.” He sighed. “The fame is all guys see in me. Tommy’s just mixing me up with the person I play on a stage,” he said.
Monte stood up. “Whatever, Adam. You clearly aren’t getting my point,” he said, then looked back before leaving. “Think about it like this- you guys like the same music, you like the same movies, you tease each other over your clothes and the food you eat, and even without the fact you hired him because he’s pretty, you two clicked automatically,” he said. He shrugged. “Maybe he’s never clicked with somebody like that,” he said pointedly as he turned and walked out.
Adam sighed. Monte had sure left him a lot to think about.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I feel like a fucking guidance councilor,” Monte said, flopping down beside Tommy, who was curled up in his chair. “But really, this shit isn’t cool, okay?” he said, and Tommy shot him a look from beneath his fringe. “Oh come off it, I’m in cahoots with the dancers, I know shit, okay?” he said, and Tommy smiled.
“So what, are you mine and Adam’s go between?” he asked, and Monte kicked back, sighing.
“Something like it,” he said, then shot him a look. “Okay I have to hear it from you, go ahead,” he said, waving a hand.
Tommy rolled his eyes. “What? The story of what happened or the fact I’m not just sorta freaking out and having a breakdown?” he asked.
Monte shrugged. “Whatever you wanna say about it, man.”
Tommy shrugged, biting on his thumbnail. “I feel really bad for what I did,” he said softly. “Looking at how much shit he’s facing now, I really, really feel bad for the tweet, but at the time I was pissed off so bad,” he said, shaking his head. He put his face in his hands and groaned. “Adam surprised me, because what he did still makes no sense, and I was totally ten minutes from getting laid and he fucked that up and I was pissed,” he said, groaning.
Monte rolled his eyes. “I don’t get it either, he still keeps glossing over that massive point. I think he figured you were drunk and that dude was taking advantage of the fact. Adam must’ve like… hoped to save you dealing with the ‘oh shit I got head from a dude!’ thing once you sobered up… it’s the only thing I can think of anyways,” he said, shrugging. “I mean, we all know it’s not like he needs to steal a guy from someone else,” he said, snorting.
Tommy laughed sadly, shaking his head. “No, he really doesn’t,” he said, pressing his face into his hands.
Monte shot him a look. “Okay, enough avoiding.” Tommy sighed, letting his head fall against his knees. “I know you told Adam you’re into him,” he said, and Tommy whined. “Oh suck it up, dude. I’m not phased by this crap anymore. I’ve learned to never be surprised by ANYTHING when it’s related to Adam Lambert,” he said, and Tommy shook his head, smiling. “So, the faster you get it out, the faster I leave you alone, got it?”
Tommy sighed. “I don’t got it, that’s the problem. Nothing makes sense,” he said with a sigh. “I’m too old for this shit,” he said with a groan. “You ever think something can be the most insanely difficult thing to ever deal with and sometimes you wish you could go back to the way things were before any of it started, but then at the same time it’s the best thing that ever happened to you and you wouldn’t give it up for anything?” he asked, picking at his nails.
Monte chuckled. “I’ve got four kids, what do you think?” he asked, and Tommy smiled. “Dude, just tell me something… are you sure about this shit?” he asked. “I like you dude, I really do, but you’re fucking with one of the best friends anybody ever had,” he said pointedly.
“No, I’m not sure, Monte.” He sighed. “I’m not sure about anything anymore! A year and a half ago I was a burned out metal head working in a fucking cubicle with a trashy apartment and I’d finally been dumped by the last half-way decent chick to waste her time on my skinny ass.” He looked at Monte. “So much has changed in so little time, dude. Not just in my life, but in my head, and every single bit of it can be pinned on the minute I walked into that damn room and introduced myself to Adam,” he said with a sigh. “I’m not bullshitting, I don’t care what Adam’s probably said about what happened when we fought, I’ve never had this happen,” he said. He gave Monte a helpless look. “It’s not just rock ‘n roll with Adam anymore,” he said softly, wide eyes shining. “I’m not sure it ever really was,” he admitted softly. “And I’ve tried to figure myself out, that’s why I was sneaking around with guys to begin with. I didn’t want the questions I’d get if I suddenly started openly pursuing dudes instead of girls, but I had to figure things out somehow, and so far I’ve figured out nothing,” he said.
Monte shot him a look with curiosity painted on his face. “Is it just Adam?” he asked.
Tommy nodded. “I think so,” he said, then shrugged. “I mean, I didn’t really say no to the few guys I’ve messed around with,” he said, smirking, but sighed. “But yeah, its chicks and Adam,” he said, then blushed. “Mostly just Adam,” he said softly.
Monte shook his head. “You really fucked up this time, kid,” he said, and Tommy laughed, smiling.
“Gee, thanks old timer! You’re what, five years older than me?” he asked, smiling. “And I know I have,” he said, then shrugged. “But… like I said, I can’t really regret it or wish it hadn’t happened,” he said, then blushed. “At the risk of sounding completely like a pussy, I never knew I could feel like this,” he said softly, cheeks pink as he looked down at his feet. “Even if he hates me now, things are different now. For good,” he added.
Monte sighed. “That’s the problem, Tommy. Adam doesn’t hate anybody. I’m not sure he can hate,” he said. “You’ve heard stuff but you’ve never actually seen Adam upset,” he said.
Tommy frowned. “What do you mean? I’ve seen him cry before and stuff,” he said.
Monte shook his head. “Tommy, Adam cries over movies and shit. I swear the guy has ovaries sometimes,” he said. “He’d already broken up with his last boyfriend when you came into the picture,” he said.
Tommy shrugged. “You mean Drake? They’re really good friends still, though. I figured it was kinda just an even split,” he said.
Monte shook his head sadly. “It seems like that, and they are good friends still, because Adam is impossible to hate, and he can’t hate anybody else… but when Drake left him, it broke his heart,” he said. “That guy upset is one of the worst things anybody could ever see, I swear to God,” he said pointedly. “It was worse when he and Brad split up, but it was bad enough with Drake. He sinks in on himself, he shuts down, he goes through everything he did wrong because in Adam’s mind, it’s always him, never someone else that’s at fault,” he said. “The man has a heart of gold and can’t seem to see the wrong in anybody, but he sure as hell can blame everything on himself. Knowing him, after I pointed out I didn’t think you were just being indecisive on which team you play for, he’s probably already spent hours wondering what all he did wrong to make you like him as more than a friend,” he said.
Tommy frowned. “He didn’t do anything other than be himself, though. I just… come on, how the hell was I supposed to keep things straight when the guy has more in common with me than anybody I’ve ever met, and on top of that, he’s flirted with me from day one?!” he asked. “NOBODY could resist that!”
“Yeah, I get it, you’re far from the first guy to fall for him, but the point is he doesn’t see it like that,” he said. He smiled sadly. “As famous as he is, and as many people tell him how he’s the hottest shit around, Adam still is, and probably always will be, the weird fat kid in his mind. He can be as good looking as it gets and in his eyes he’s always going to be not good enough,” he said.
Tommy sighed. “Great, so not only have I screwed myself over, I’ve fucked with his head. Great. I feel SO great about myself!” he said sarcastically.
Monte just chuckled. “Hey, you can’t help yourself, dude! The minute you walked in I knew you were going to be trouble,” he said, and Tommy huffed indignantly. “I know you hear it all the time, but you really, really are his type,” he teased, and Tommy glared. “You’ve seen his exes, you all have similar faces!” he said, and Tommy suddenly gaped.
“Whoa! I knew we were somewhat alike, but now that I really think- wow,” he said, blinking. “Damn… I really was hired cause of how I look, wasn’t I?” he asked.
Monte chuckled. “Well, he had to ask me if you were good, because he had no clue what a bassist was supposed to even sound like, and I’d have said no if you weren’t good enough, but to be honest there was a kid who was better,” he admitted. “But Adam insisted on you just because ‘he’s so pretty!’” Monte imitated Adam, earning laughter from Tommy.
“Oh my God, you sound just like him!” he said, giggling as he leaned his head back. “God, I’m so fucked, huh?” he asked.
Monte nodded, heading out. “You really are.”
“Hey Monte?” he called, and Monte stopped. “What…” he bit his lip sheepishly. “What should I do?” he asked.
Monte just shot him a sympathetic look. “I’ve got you this far man,” he said with a shrug. “I really can’t help you any more than that,” he said. “You’ve got to figure out what you want, what you’ll settle for, and how far you’re willing to go for whatever you decide on.”
Tommy just nodded, then hugged his knees closer as he thought harder about everything he’d learned.
Author: heartsdesire456
Rating: up to NC-17
POV: 3rd
Pairing: Multiple
Summary: (forgive the lame ass summary, its not a serious fic, its practically crack!) Tokio Hotel's lower ticket sales and expensive tour have left them in a tight spot. When their management find the best answer to their dilemma, they find themselves in a place they never wanted to be...second in line-up for a Adam Lambert tour. When the openers end up being newly reunited Cinema Bizarre, who feel lucky to just get a chance to tour North America again, one thing is for sure... it is sure to be the sparkliest tour ever.
Author's Note: my throat is getting sore, I kept passing out all night and NOW that I'm ready for bed I'm WIDE awake... and I slept 4 hours last night and have to be up in 6 hours from right now... FML... Enjoy this update *pouts*
Brooke cornered Tommy, who was hiding out on the bus. “Okay, what’s going on?” she asked, forcing her way into his bunk.
Tommy frowned. “What do you mean?” he asked with wide, innocent eyes.
She tossed her hair. “That shit may work on Adam, but I know your game,” she said pointedly. “What happened at the club, what happened with the phone, and that tweet, and Adam freaking out today?” she asked.
Tommy sighed. “I’m not straight,” he said hoarsely, lying back as he put his hand over his eyes.
“No shit,” she said pointedly.
Tommy chuckled. “I was dancing with this guy, and having a good time, then Adam in all his fucking toppy glory comes and butts in and convinces the dude I was making out with to go with him instead,” he blushed. “Horny and pissed off doesn’t work together well,” he admitted. “What I tweeted wasn’t something I’m proud of. I really could’ve hurt Adam’s reputation with that shit. But seriously, what the hell?! It’s totally against guy-code to cock-block like that,” he said, then shot her a look. “I’m pretty serious about my guy-code.”
She nodded. “Okay, then what was the screaming match heard down the halls and Adam being at the end of his rope today? He’s showing his fiery red-head side today, dude,” she said, cringing.
Tommy groaned and shot her a look. “What do you think happened,” he whispered, and she smiled sympathetically.
“Poor baby,” she said, petting his head and tugging at his bangs, earning a grumble as he pulled away. “Can’t say I blame you, you never really had any chance,” she said, and Tommy laughed softly.
“I know, that’s the worst part,” he said softly, smiling sadly. “I really didn’t realize it until like… very, very recently. Or if I did realize, I denied it,” he said. “That’s what’s up with the boys behind you guys’ backs, trying to figure shit out,” he said. “I’m nearly thirty,” he sighed.
She kissed his cheek. “Babe, the minute you walked into that audition, you were doomed to fall for Adam,” she said, and he chuckled, nodding sadly. “You’re completely his type, so he can’t help the flirting, and then you guys are two peas in a pod, so of course, he picked you as one of his best friends… nobody really can help but love Adam when he puts his heart out and sucks everybody he cares about into it, and trust me, you aren’t the first guy to get lost in those pretty blue eyes,” she said. “Not by a longshot.”
Tommy smiled at the ceiling of the bunk. “His eyes are so amazing,” he sighed, then groaned and shuffled around. “I’m so fucked,” he said sadly.
She just laughed. “Yep, you totally are.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Monte found Adam lying in his bed watching a movie. “Hey, can we talk?” he asked, and Adam nodded. “What happened with Tommy?” he asked, and Adam groaned.
“I change my mind about talking, I don’t-“
“Tough. I’ve gotta keep you sane or nobody will be,” he said, and Adam laughed. “What went down?” he asked.
Adam groaned. “He’s an idiot! He’s gone and decided he’s not straight now, and apparently that’s somehow my fault!” he said, scoffing. “Asshole. I can’t believe him,” he said, huffing.
Monte rolled his eye. “Oh, you can’t believe you managed to bend a guy’s straight? Seriously?!” he asked.
Adam groaned. “I REFUSE to bend a straight guy. If you haven’t figured that shit out by the time you’re an adult you have serious issues,” he said pointedly.
Monte shot him a look. “That’s rich coming from you,” he said, and Adam sat up, frowning. “You’re being a hypocrite, Adam! You’re the one that preaches all this shit about love and being yourself and ‘it doesn’t matter who you fuck’-“
“And it doesn’t!” he said. “I don’t give a damn who he sleeps with, but trying to pull some ‘I didn’t know’ shit is ridiculous!” he said. “You don’t suddenly become gay, or bi, or whatever he’s trying to claim!” he argued. “He actually said, when I said that ‘I had never met you’, can you believe that?!” he asked, scoffing.
Monte shook his head. “That just confirms what I was guessing, Adam!” He looked at him. “Who’s to say he’s ever been into guys before? You don’t know that, Adam. I know how your head works, you think he’s just been lying about it, and you’re pissed off he felt like he had to hide it, but what if he hasn’t been?” he asked. “You are a prime example for falling for the totally wrong guys, and you couldn’t help who you fell for!” he said, and Adam frowned.
“What are you getting at?” he asked.
Monte shrugged. “Maybe it was just you? Maybe the other guys are him trying to figure shit out because suddenly he went from ‘it’s just rock’n roll’ to actually having feelings for you, a dude,” he pointed out. “You’re smart but you can’t read minds,” he pointed out.
Adam just frowned. “But… why me?” he asked in confusion.
Monte shook his head. “You know, to be as big and bad as you are you, still really haven’t figured out your appeal, have you?” he asked, and shook his head. “Dude, even before you were famous you’ve always had people eating out of your hands, why do you still expect people to treat you like the fat kid?” he asked, and Adam cringed.
“Ow, that hurt,” he said with a snap. “And I don’t get what you mean, Monte. I’m just me,” he said, shrugging. “Just Adam.” He sighed. “The fame is all guys see in me. Tommy’s just mixing me up with the person I play on a stage,” he said.
Monte stood up. “Whatever, Adam. You clearly aren’t getting my point,” he said, then looked back before leaving. “Think about it like this- you guys like the same music, you like the same movies, you tease each other over your clothes and the food you eat, and even without the fact you hired him because he’s pretty, you two clicked automatically,” he said. He shrugged. “Maybe he’s never clicked with somebody like that,” he said pointedly as he turned and walked out.
Adam sighed. Monte had sure left him a lot to think about.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I feel like a fucking guidance councilor,” Monte said, flopping down beside Tommy, who was curled up in his chair. “But really, this shit isn’t cool, okay?” he said, and Tommy shot him a look from beneath his fringe. “Oh come off it, I’m in cahoots with the dancers, I know shit, okay?” he said, and Tommy smiled.
“So what, are you mine and Adam’s go between?” he asked, and Monte kicked back, sighing.
“Something like it,” he said, then shot him a look. “Okay I have to hear it from you, go ahead,” he said, waving a hand.
Tommy rolled his eyes. “What? The story of what happened or the fact I’m not just sorta freaking out and having a breakdown?” he asked.
Monte shrugged. “Whatever you wanna say about it, man.”
Tommy shrugged, biting on his thumbnail. “I feel really bad for what I did,” he said softly. “Looking at how much shit he’s facing now, I really, really feel bad for the tweet, but at the time I was pissed off so bad,” he said, shaking his head. He put his face in his hands and groaned. “Adam surprised me, because what he did still makes no sense, and I was totally ten minutes from getting laid and he fucked that up and I was pissed,” he said, groaning.
Monte rolled his eyes. “I don’t get it either, he still keeps glossing over that massive point. I think he figured you were drunk and that dude was taking advantage of the fact. Adam must’ve like… hoped to save you dealing with the ‘oh shit I got head from a dude!’ thing once you sobered up… it’s the only thing I can think of anyways,” he said, shrugging. “I mean, we all know it’s not like he needs to steal a guy from someone else,” he said, snorting.
Tommy laughed sadly, shaking his head. “No, he really doesn’t,” he said, pressing his face into his hands.
Monte shot him a look. “Okay, enough avoiding.” Tommy sighed, letting his head fall against his knees. “I know you told Adam you’re into him,” he said, and Tommy whined. “Oh suck it up, dude. I’m not phased by this crap anymore. I’ve learned to never be surprised by ANYTHING when it’s related to Adam Lambert,” he said, and Tommy shook his head, smiling. “So, the faster you get it out, the faster I leave you alone, got it?”
Tommy sighed. “I don’t got it, that’s the problem. Nothing makes sense,” he said with a sigh. “I’m too old for this shit,” he said with a groan. “You ever think something can be the most insanely difficult thing to ever deal with and sometimes you wish you could go back to the way things were before any of it started, but then at the same time it’s the best thing that ever happened to you and you wouldn’t give it up for anything?” he asked, picking at his nails.
Monte chuckled. “I’ve got four kids, what do you think?” he asked, and Tommy smiled. “Dude, just tell me something… are you sure about this shit?” he asked. “I like you dude, I really do, but you’re fucking with one of the best friends anybody ever had,” he said pointedly.
“No, I’m not sure, Monte.” He sighed. “I’m not sure about anything anymore! A year and a half ago I was a burned out metal head working in a fucking cubicle with a trashy apartment and I’d finally been dumped by the last half-way decent chick to waste her time on my skinny ass.” He looked at Monte. “So much has changed in so little time, dude. Not just in my life, but in my head, and every single bit of it can be pinned on the minute I walked into that damn room and introduced myself to Adam,” he said with a sigh. “I’m not bullshitting, I don’t care what Adam’s probably said about what happened when we fought, I’ve never had this happen,” he said. He gave Monte a helpless look. “It’s not just rock ‘n roll with Adam anymore,” he said softly, wide eyes shining. “I’m not sure it ever really was,” he admitted softly. “And I’ve tried to figure myself out, that’s why I was sneaking around with guys to begin with. I didn’t want the questions I’d get if I suddenly started openly pursuing dudes instead of girls, but I had to figure things out somehow, and so far I’ve figured out nothing,” he said.
Monte shot him a look with curiosity painted on his face. “Is it just Adam?” he asked.
Tommy nodded. “I think so,” he said, then shrugged. “I mean, I didn’t really say no to the few guys I’ve messed around with,” he said, smirking, but sighed. “But yeah, its chicks and Adam,” he said, then blushed. “Mostly just Adam,” he said softly.
Monte shook his head. “You really fucked up this time, kid,” he said, and Tommy laughed, smiling.
“Gee, thanks old timer! You’re what, five years older than me?” he asked, smiling. “And I know I have,” he said, then shrugged. “But… like I said, I can’t really regret it or wish it hadn’t happened,” he said, then blushed. “At the risk of sounding completely like a pussy, I never knew I could feel like this,” he said softly, cheeks pink as he looked down at his feet. “Even if he hates me now, things are different now. For good,” he added.
Monte sighed. “That’s the problem, Tommy. Adam doesn’t hate anybody. I’m not sure he can hate,” he said. “You’ve heard stuff but you’ve never actually seen Adam upset,” he said.
Tommy frowned. “What do you mean? I’ve seen him cry before and stuff,” he said.
Monte shook his head. “Tommy, Adam cries over movies and shit. I swear the guy has ovaries sometimes,” he said. “He’d already broken up with his last boyfriend when you came into the picture,” he said.
Tommy shrugged. “You mean Drake? They’re really good friends still, though. I figured it was kinda just an even split,” he said.
Monte shook his head sadly. “It seems like that, and they are good friends still, because Adam is impossible to hate, and he can’t hate anybody else… but when Drake left him, it broke his heart,” he said. “That guy upset is one of the worst things anybody could ever see, I swear to God,” he said pointedly. “It was worse when he and Brad split up, but it was bad enough with Drake. He sinks in on himself, he shuts down, he goes through everything he did wrong because in Adam’s mind, it’s always him, never someone else that’s at fault,” he said. “The man has a heart of gold and can’t seem to see the wrong in anybody, but he sure as hell can blame everything on himself. Knowing him, after I pointed out I didn’t think you were just being indecisive on which team you play for, he’s probably already spent hours wondering what all he did wrong to make you like him as more than a friend,” he said.
Tommy frowned. “He didn’t do anything other than be himself, though. I just… come on, how the hell was I supposed to keep things straight when the guy has more in common with me than anybody I’ve ever met, and on top of that, he’s flirted with me from day one?!” he asked. “NOBODY could resist that!”
“Yeah, I get it, you’re far from the first guy to fall for him, but the point is he doesn’t see it like that,” he said. He smiled sadly. “As famous as he is, and as many people tell him how he’s the hottest shit around, Adam still is, and probably always will be, the weird fat kid in his mind. He can be as good looking as it gets and in his eyes he’s always going to be not good enough,” he said.
Tommy sighed. “Great, so not only have I screwed myself over, I’ve fucked with his head. Great. I feel SO great about myself!” he said sarcastically.
Monte just chuckled. “Hey, you can’t help yourself, dude! The minute you walked in I knew you were going to be trouble,” he said, and Tommy huffed indignantly. “I know you hear it all the time, but you really, really are his type,” he teased, and Tommy glared. “You’ve seen his exes, you all have similar faces!” he said, and Tommy suddenly gaped.
“Whoa! I knew we were somewhat alike, but now that I really think- wow,” he said, blinking. “Damn… I really was hired cause of how I look, wasn’t I?” he asked.
Monte chuckled. “Well, he had to ask me if you were good, because he had no clue what a bassist was supposed to even sound like, and I’d have said no if you weren’t good enough, but to be honest there was a kid who was better,” he admitted. “But Adam insisted on you just because ‘he’s so pretty!’” Monte imitated Adam, earning laughter from Tommy.
“Oh my God, you sound just like him!” he said, giggling as he leaned his head back. “God, I’m so fucked, huh?” he asked.
Monte nodded, heading out. “You really are.”
“Hey Monte?” he called, and Monte stopped. “What…” he bit his lip sheepishly. “What should I do?” he asked.
Monte just shot him a sympathetic look. “I’ve got you this far man,” he said with a shrug. “I really can’t help you any more than that,” he said. “You’ve got to figure out what you want, what you’ll settle for, and how far you’re willing to go for whatever you decide on.”
Tommy just nodded, then hugged his knees closer as he thought harder about everything he’d learned.