It Starts Just Where The Light Exists, 20
Title:It Starts Just Where The Light Exists
Author: heartsdesire456
Rating:NC-17
POV: 3rd
Pairing: Bill/Georg (maybe some Gustav/Tom later)
Summary:When Georg Listing's father dies, he and his mother discover that he had squandered away most of their wealth in his last years of life. His mother finds a solution to their problems and within weeks, Georg finds himself marrying a young man he has never even seen before. Georg's only hope is that his marriage isn't that huge of a mistake.
Disclaimer: ...i'm almost certain men couldn't marry back then...
Author's Note: ... dont hate Gustav *eeeps!*
Tom and Gustav were sitting near the trees on a blanket Gustav had brought with them, since he was tired of having to explain grass stains in his trousers to his sister. They had an assortment of books laid out around them, flipping through various ones.
Gustav picked up one. “Want to learn about the laws of gravity? It’s an interesting study,” he said, and Tom picked up another book.
“What’s this one? With the pictures of a man inside it?” he asked, showing it to Gustav.
Gustav looked at the book and chuckled. “Anatomy,” he said, then sat up, sliding closer to Tom so they could both look at the book. “Leave it to you,” he teased, and Tom rolled his eyes. “They’re still making discoveries about anatomy all the time. Just recently did they allow the studies of female anatomy to be published,” he said, and Tom frowned.
“There are studies on female anatomy? I know it’s not for me to really say, but isn’t that sort of… wrong?” he asked.
Gustav shrugged. “Women become ill just as often as men. It is a bit wrong to look at a sketch of a woman’s body, but for someone like you, it’s nothing new anyways,” he said pointedly.
Tom snorted. “What about someone like you?” he asked, giving him a look.
Gustav just smiled. “To me a woman’s body is just a body. Same as a man’s… only not,” he said awkwardly. “But what I mean is, it isn’t looking at a woman’s body for immoral purposes, it’s a study to help understand how the body works and help illnesses,” he said. “As it is, if I grew ill, it would be simpler to find a doctor that would know how to heal me than if my sister were the one to grow ill, because only the most advanced surgeons have been allowed to examine a female body,” he said. “
Tom nodded. “That is true. My mother had a sister who died in childbirth. She and the child both died,” he said. “My mother always said if there was a doctor who would know what to do better than a common midwife she might have survived, and possibly both her and the child. As it was, they called an actual doctor but he didn’t know much of anything about childbirth and she died. The midwife didn’t know what to do when things went wrong,” he said. “It was before we were born but my mother told us that once,” he said.
Gustav nodded. “Us men are so damn possessive of women and we all focus on how they are supposed to be more private and how immoral it is to put them on display, when because of it women who grow ill don’t even tell anyone in fear of a doctor asking to see them under their clothes,” he said. “I knew a woman who simply had a cut on her leg and she died of an infection because her husband didn’t want the doctor looking at his wife’s leg,” he said, and Tom shook his head.
“Do you know, I’d never thought of such things before I met you,” he said, smiling at Gustav. “You’ve gotten me to think all about the world we live in,” he said. “Outside the normal realm of logic as well,” he said.
Gustav smiled. “If nobody thinks about what we cannot already know then there will never be discoveries made,” he said. “Now! Let us learn some anatomy,” he said, opening the book. “Alright, this is a sketch of the human bones,” he said, showing it to Tom.
Tom looked horrified. “Under our skin we look like that?” he asked, and Gustav nodded.
“Beneath the flesh and muscles and organs, that is our bones,” he said. He looked Tom over. “Take off your shirt,” he said, and Tom raised an eyebrow. Gustav rolled his eyes. “You’re skinny, I can probably show you your bones,” he said, and Tom looked intrigued. He quickly untied his shirt and tore it off over his head.
“Show me!” he said excitedly, facing Gustav.
Gustav knelt. “Alright, here,” he reached out, barely paying attention. “This is where your ribs start,” he said, and Tom nodded.
“I know what ribs are,” he said, and Gustav nodded.
“Well, did you know that between them, here-“ he pointed to the center of Tom’s chest. “They all connect to the sternum?” he asked. “They also connect here-“ he slid his finger along Tom’s collar bone. “To your clavicles,” he said.
Tom shivered at the touch. He bit his lip and ducked his eyes, though his cheeks burned. Gustav’s warm, gentle finger on his skin was making his skin tingle pleasantly.
Gustav bit his lip as he followed his hand with his eyes. “It connects to the-“ he looked at Tom’s face, staring into his eyes for a moment. “The shoulder,” he said, clearing his throat softly. He leaned closer. “Turn around,” he directed, and Tom caught his eyes before shifting to face the other way. “These are your scapulas,” he said, stroking his thumbs down the lines of Tom’s shoulder blades.
Tom shuddered, biting his lip. “Oh. Um. I wondered what your shoulder blades were called,” he said, suddenly wishing he wasn’t a lusty seventeen year old.
Gustav felt his breath shuddering slightly as he traced his fingers down the line of Tom’s spine. “Your- your spine is made of several little bones,” he said, and Tom let out an audible sound. “Just a lot of little- little bones,” he said, clearing his throat.
Tom caught Gustav’s hand and pulled it around him, so he could warn Gustav. However, Gustav breathing down his neck did nothing to make it easier to ignore exactly how close they were. “Gustav,” he whispered, only to gasp as he felt a touch to his shoulder. “Gustav?” he asked curiously.
Gustav, however, was somewhat dazed. He pressed the fingers of his free hand to the broad yet incredibly smooth shoulders bared to him. He couldn’t resist the urge to press his lips to the smooth, tanned skin beneath his fingers. He heard Tom gasp out when his lips brushed Tom’s shoulder. “Shh,” he whispered, pressing a kiss farther out. “At the socket of the shoulder, there are a lot of muscles,” he whispered, pressing a kiss.
Tom turned to face Gustav, only to blush as Gustav was closer than he expected. “Gustav,” he breathed shakily. Gustav gave a shaky breath, but couldn’t help himself. He pushed Tom back gently, kneeling over him.
“There’s more, Tom,” he said, receiving a blank yet anticipatory stare from Tom, who was watching him when Gustav repositioned to be directly in front of him, kneeling. “Your jaw,” he said, leaning forward to press his lips to Tom’s jaw. “Is called the mandible,” he said, trailing kisses to his ear and then back down to his skin. “Your skull-“
“Gustav, neither of us is interested in a lesson,” he practically begged, only to receive a long stare. He raised his own hand to up Gustav’s face, only to have Gustav’s other large, warm, strong hand close over it, holding it to his cheek.
“Tom,” he whispered, leaning in to kiss Tom softly. Tom whimpered, letting out a shaky sound as he, once again, felt an inexplicable spark between them. Tom raised his other hand to hold the other side of Gustav’s face as he kissed back. It only took moments for Tom to coax Gustav into really kissing him, not tentative touches.
“Gus,” he moaned, groaning against Gustav’s lips while his left hand tangled in the back of Gustav’s curls.
Gustav suddenly pulled back and groaned. “Damn it,” he growled, jumping to his feet. “No, Tom, we can’t- this can’t-,” he stopped and waved a hand blankly. “I just can’t do this,” he said, pacing and grumbling.
Tom flushed with annoyance. “Why not?” he demanded, standing. “Gustav, tell me why?” he said, nearly desperately.
Gustav turned back to him. “Because, Tom, I’m not one of the tramps who have slept with you before! I’m a decent man and I refuse to become anything else,” he said, frowning at the hurt look on Tom’s face.
“Gustav, I’m not a whore, I just want-“
“But you are, Tom, you are!” he sighed. “You don’t see it that way, but you are pretty much a common tramp!” he said. “Even if you’re intelligent and beautiful and I really care for you, you give your body to anybody! And I’m not going to end up like that,” he said, packing away.
Tom just blinked, having no explanation he could think of for the ache in his chest. “I can honestly say I’ve never felt lower in my life,” he stated, voice shaking. He turned hurt eyes on Gustav, who felt his heart throb. “I’m sorry, alright? I’m sorry for my past. But I- I care about you,” he said, and Gustav shook his head. Tom grabbed his shoulders. “I care about you, okay?! I’ll tell you again and again until you understand,” he said, almost desperately.
Gustav just shook his head. “Tom, it isn’t that easy. You don’t understand what that even means,” he defended and Tom just turned and started walking off. “Tom!” he called and Tom shook his head.
“I’m tired of you treating me like this,” he said, continuing to walk away, heading into the forest. “You kissed me that night, then ran away. You ignored me until I made it alright to be friends again, which was because I was desperate to have you to talk to again. Now, when I was at least ignoring the way my body reacted to you touching me all over, YOU are the one to start kissing me and touching me and then when I give in and kiss you, you go to run away again!” he said, not caring if Gustav was jogging to keep up with his long stride.
“I’m sorry if I’ve led you on, Tom, but I’m not like you!”
Tom turned around, biting his lip. “Why do you have to keep saying it like that?” he asked, shocking Gustav with how vulnerable he sounded. Gustav could see his eyes shimmering. “We’ve been over my past a while ago, and for the longest you’ve let me be. You only bring it up when you start to find yourself attracted to me, and I’m tired of it!” his voice cracked. “I know what I did and I know what that means for me, but nobody has ever managed to make me feel so low as you do,” he said, and Gustav saw Tom blink quickly. “You make me feel like I’m a bad person,” he said, turning to rush away into the trees.
Gustav watched him run away with his mouth hanging wide open. Tom had long disappeared when he wondered if Tom even knew his way in the forest.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bill and Georg were sitting with Mrs. Listing when one of the older gardeners came in, being led by Jost. Georg stood when they came in. “Yes?” he asked.
The gardener took off his hat as Mrs. Listing glared. “I beg your pardon, ma’am,” he said to her, then turned back. “Mr. Bill, I didn’t want to alarm you, but I was wondering if you had seen Tom?” he asked, and Bill frowned, sitting up straight.
“No, why?” he asked with a worried look. “He was going out to have a lesson with Mr. Schafer, but Mr. Schafer left hours ago,” he said quickly. “It’s dark!” Bill said, looking out the window.
“Well, he hasn’t come back since he left,” he said, and Georg saw Bill’s eyes widen.
“He’s been missing all afternoon and nobody came to tell me?!” he cried, jumping up.
Mrs. Listing shot him a look. “Bill, dear, it is most improper to shout like that,” she said with disproval in her voice.
“I don’t care!” he snapped. “My brother is missing! Tom isn’t one to stay out without telling anybody,” he said, then grabbed Georg’s hand. “Georg,” he said, and Georg nodded.
“Let’s go look along the trails,” he said, and Bill nodded.
“If he was riding and fell he could be hurt,” he said, taking Georg’s hand. “Jost, go get lanterns and coats for Georg and I,” he said, and Jost nodded, rushing off. “Something isn’t right,” Bill said, and Georg just squeezed his hand.
“It will be alright, my dear,” he said, earning a hopeful nod from Bill.
Author: heartsdesire456
Rating:NC-17
POV: 3rd
Pairing: Bill/Georg (maybe some Gustav/Tom later)
Summary:When Georg Listing's father dies, he and his mother discover that he had squandered away most of their wealth in his last years of life. His mother finds a solution to their problems and within weeks, Georg finds himself marrying a young man he has never even seen before. Georg's only hope is that his marriage isn't that huge of a mistake.
Disclaimer: ...i'm almost certain men couldn't marry back then...
Author's Note: ... dont hate Gustav *eeeps!*
Tom and Gustav were sitting near the trees on a blanket Gustav had brought with them, since he was tired of having to explain grass stains in his trousers to his sister. They had an assortment of books laid out around them, flipping through various ones.
Gustav picked up one. “Want to learn about the laws of gravity? It’s an interesting study,” he said, and Tom picked up another book.
“What’s this one? With the pictures of a man inside it?” he asked, showing it to Gustav.
Gustav looked at the book and chuckled. “Anatomy,” he said, then sat up, sliding closer to Tom so they could both look at the book. “Leave it to you,” he teased, and Tom rolled his eyes. “They’re still making discoveries about anatomy all the time. Just recently did they allow the studies of female anatomy to be published,” he said, and Tom frowned.
“There are studies on female anatomy? I know it’s not for me to really say, but isn’t that sort of… wrong?” he asked.
Gustav shrugged. “Women become ill just as often as men. It is a bit wrong to look at a sketch of a woman’s body, but for someone like you, it’s nothing new anyways,” he said pointedly.
Tom snorted. “What about someone like you?” he asked, giving him a look.
Gustav just smiled. “To me a woman’s body is just a body. Same as a man’s… only not,” he said awkwardly. “But what I mean is, it isn’t looking at a woman’s body for immoral purposes, it’s a study to help understand how the body works and help illnesses,” he said. “As it is, if I grew ill, it would be simpler to find a doctor that would know how to heal me than if my sister were the one to grow ill, because only the most advanced surgeons have been allowed to examine a female body,” he said. “
Tom nodded. “That is true. My mother had a sister who died in childbirth. She and the child both died,” he said. “My mother always said if there was a doctor who would know what to do better than a common midwife she might have survived, and possibly both her and the child. As it was, they called an actual doctor but he didn’t know much of anything about childbirth and she died. The midwife didn’t know what to do when things went wrong,” he said. “It was before we were born but my mother told us that once,” he said.
Gustav nodded. “Us men are so damn possessive of women and we all focus on how they are supposed to be more private and how immoral it is to put them on display, when because of it women who grow ill don’t even tell anyone in fear of a doctor asking to see them under their clothes,” he said. “I knew a woman who simply had a cut on her leg and she died of an infection because her husband didn’t want the doctor looking at his wife’s leg,” he said, and Tom shook his head.
“Do you know, I’d never thought of such things before I met you,” he said, smiling at Gustav. “You’ve gotten me to think all about the world we live in,” he said. “Outside the normal realm of logic as well,” he said.
Gustav smiled. “If nobody thinks about what we cannot already know then there will never be discoveries made,” he said. “Now! Let us learn some anatomy,” he said, opening the book. “Alright, this is a sketch of the human bones,” he said, showing it to Tom.
Tom looked horrified. “Under our skin we look like that?” he asked, and Gustav nodded.
“Beneath the flesh and muscles and organs, that is our bones,” he said. He looked Tom over. “Take off your shirt,” he said, and Tom raised an eyebrow. Gustav rolled his eyes. “You’re skinny, I can probably show you your bones,” he said, and Tom looked intrigued. He quickly untied his shirt and tore it off over his head.
“Show me!” he said excitedly, facing Gustav.
Gustav knelt. “Alright, here,” he reached out, barely paying attention. “This is where your ribs start,” he said, and Tom nodded.
“I know what ribs are,” he said, and Gustav nodded.
“Well, did you know that between them, here-“ he pointed to the center of Tom’s chest. “They all connect to the sternum?” he asked. “They also connect here-“ he slid his finger along Tom’s collar bone. “To your clavicles,” he said.
Tom shivered at the touch. He bit his lip and ducked his eyes, though his cheeks burned. Gustav’s warm, gentle finger on his skin was making his skin tingle pleasantly.
Gustav bit his lip as he followed his hand with his eyes. “It connects to the-“ he looked at Tom’s face, staring into his eyes for a moment. “The shoulder,” he said, clearing his throat softly. He leaned closer. “Turn around,” he directed, and Tom caught his eyes before shifting to face the other way. “These are your scapulas,” he said, stroking his thumbs down the lines of Tom’s shoulder blades.
Tom shuddered, biting his lip. “Oh. Um. I wondered what your shoulder blades were called,” he said, suddenly wishing he wasn’t a lusty seventeen year old.
Gustav felt his breath shuddering slightly as he traced his fingers down the line of Tom’s spine. “Your- your spine is made of several little bones,” he said, and Tom let out an audible sound. “Just a lot of little- little bones,” he said, clearing his throat.
Tom caught Gustav’s hand and pulled it around him, so he could warn Gustav. However, Gustav breathing down his neck did nothing to make it easier to ignore exactly how close they were. “Gustav,” he whispered, only to gasp as he felt a touch to his shoulder. “Gustav?” he asked curiously.
Gustav, however, was somewhat dazed. He pressed the fingers of his free hand to the broad yet incredibly smooth shoulders bared to him. He couldn’t resist the urge to press his lips to the smooth, tanned skin beneath his fingers. He heard Tom gasp out when his lips brushed Tom’s shoulder. “Shh,” he whispered, pressing a kiss farther out. “At the socket of the shoulder, there are a lot of muscles,” he whispered, pressing a kiss.
Tom turned to face Gustav, only to blush as Gustav was closer than he expected. “Gustav,” he breathed shakily. Gustav gave a shaky breath, but couldn’t help himself. He pushed Tom back gently, kneeling over him.
“There’s more, Tom,” he said, receiving a blank yet anticipatory stare from Tom, who was watching him when Gustav repositioned to be directly in front of him, kneeling. “Your jaw,” he said, leaning forward to press his lips to Tom’s jaw. “Is called the mandible,” he said, trailing kisses to his ear and then back down to his skin. “Your skull-“
“Gustav, neither of us is interested in a lesson,” he practically begged, only to receive a long stare. He raised his own hand to up Gustav’s face, only to have Gustav’s other large, warm, strong hand close over it, holding it to his cheek.
“Tom,” he whispered, leaning in to kiss Tom softly. Tom whimpered, letting out a shaky sound as he, once again, felt an inexplicable spark between them. Tom raised his other hand to hold the other side of Gustav’s face as he kissed back. It only took moments for Tom to coax Gustav into really kissing him, not tentative touches.
“Gus,” he moaned, groaning against Gustav’s lips while his left hand tangled in the back of Gustav’s curls.
Gustav suddenly pulled back and groaned. “Damn it,” he growled, jumping to his feet. “No, Tom, we can’t- this can’t-,” he stopped and waved a hand blankly. “I just can’t do this,” he said, pacing and grumbling.
Tom flushed with annoyance. “Why not?” he demanded, standing. “Gustav, tell me why?” he said, nearly desperately.
Gustav turned back to him. “Because, Tom, I’m not one of the tramps who have slept with you before! I’m a decent man and I refuse to become anything else,” he said, frowning at the hurt look on Tom’s face.
“Gustav, I’m not a whore, I just want-“
“But you are, Tom, you are!” he sighed. “You don’t see it that way, but you are pretty much a common tramp!” he said. “Even if you’re intelligent and beautiful and I really care for you, you give your body to anybody! And I’m not going to end up like that,” he said, packing away.
Tom just blinked, having no explanation he could think of for the ache in his chest. “I can honestly say I’ve never felt lower in my life,” he stated, voice shaking. He turned hurt eyes on Gustav, who felt his heart throb. “I’m sorry, alright? I’m sorry for my past. But I- I care about you,” he said, and Gustav shook his head. Tom grabbed his shoulders. “I care about you, okay?! I’ll tell you again and again until you understand,” he said, almost desperately.
Gustav just shook his head. “Tom, it isn’t that easy. You don’t understand what that even means,” he defended and Tom just turned and started walking off. “Tom!” he called and Tom shook his head.
“I’m tired of you treating me like this,” he said, continuing to walk away, heading into the forest. “You kissed me that night, then ran away. You ignored me until I made it alright to be friends again, which was because I was desperate to have you to talk to again. Now, when I was at least ignoring the way my body reacted to you touching me all over, YOU are the one to start kissing me and touching me and then when I give in and kiss you, you go to run away again!” he said, not caring if Gustav was jogging to keep up with his long stride.
“I’m sorry if I’ve led you on, Tom, but I’m not like you!”
Tom turned around, biting his lip. “Why do you have to keep saying it like that?” he asked, shocking Gustav with how vulnerable he sounded. Gustav could see his eyes shimmering. “We’ve been over my past a while ago, and for the longest you’ve let me be. You only bring it up when you start to find yourself attracted to me, and I’m tired of it!” his voice cracked. “I know what I did and I know what that means for me, but nobody has ever managed to make me feel so low as you do,” he said, and Gustav saw Tom blink quickly. “You make me feel like I’m a bad person,” he said, turning to rush away into the trees.
Gustav watched him run away with his mouth hanging wide open. Tom had long disappeared when he wondered if Tom even knew his way in the forest.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bill and Georg were sitting with Mrs. Listing when one of the older gardeners came in, being led by Jost. Georg stood when they came in. “Yes?” he asked.
The gardener took off his hat as Mrs. Listing glared. “I beg your pardon, ma’am,” he said to her, then turned back. “Mr. Bill, I didn’t want to alarm you, but I was wondering if you had seen Tom?” he asked, and Bill frowned, sitting up straight.
“No, why?” he asked with a worried look. “He was going out to have a lesson with Mr. Schafer, but Mr. Schafer left hours ago,” he said quickly. “It’s dark!” Bill said, looking out the window.
“Well, he hasn’t come back since he left,” he said, and Georg saw Bill’s eyes widen.
“He’s been missing all afternoon and nobody came to tell me?!” he cried, jumping up.
Mrs. Listing shot him a look. “Bill, dear, it is most improper to shout like that,” she said with disproval in her voice.
“I don’t care!” he snapped. “My brother is missing! Tom isn’t one to stay out without telling anybody,” he said, then grabbed Georg’s hand. “Georg,” he said, and Georg nodded.
“Let’s go look along the trails,” he said, and Bill nodded.
“If he was riding and fell he could be hurt,” he said, taking Georg’s hand. “Jost, go get lanterns and coats for Georg and I,” he said, and Jost nodded, rushing off. “Something isn’t right,” Bill said, and Georg just squeezed his hand.
“It will be alright, my dear,” he said, earning a hopeful nod from Bill.