I'm a bad person...

[heartsdesire456]

My former best friend is getting married this Saturday at noon... and i'm pretty sure i'm not going. I mean... well to be honest, i just got a text saying 'hey, my wedding is this saturday at 12 o'clock' as my invite...after 7 years as best friends and less than a year since we last hung out, i dont even get a phone call

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[heartsdesire456]

Its just that she had SOOO MUCH going for her! She graduated salutatorian, she had big dreams to be a marine biologist. We had BIG dreams for our lives since we were 12 and BECAME best friends, and we always said we'd NEVER give in and let 'real life' bring us down and she ALWAYS said she'd NEVER get married before she graduated college...

Now she swapped her major last semester to pharmacy, and i figured 'well, its still a good goal' and taht she'd go off to UGA... well tbh, she'll NEVER afford UGA now. They're getting married, neither of them have reliable jobs, they're doing WHAT I SAID SHE WOULD!

Senior year after her dad died she started shutting down and one day i told her 'if you dont get back on track, you're going to end up like my mom' and that SERIOUSLY set her straight again. She studied harder again and she made Salutatorian like she wanted...

Now? She's ending up like my mom. Married at 18, not finishing college, and being stuck in this town. And its not necessarily BAD, my mom got married in highschool even though she wasnt pregnant, and my parents are happy. They've been married 25 years and love each other more than EVER... but my mom, also, had HUGE dreams she gave up on just to marry a dude.

And i get that its not my life, its not like my thoughts MATTER but it just... its hard to NOT be kinda pissed.

ONE THING it does do is just spur me on. I've said since I was 12 that, NO MATTER WHAT, i'm getting a degree, and then a year ago or so i FINALLY decided my 'plan' and i'm hard-headed and every time someone backs out on their dream, and everytime someone tells me i'm 'going to change my mind' and shit, it just makes me even more hard-headed. And yeah, real-life sucks, it always will, but I dont give up. I LITERALLY am not above living in a cardboard box while i'm working on my second degree (the one that matters, the one i'm on now is free and for fun so i can stay home longer cause i dont want to leave my family just yet) just to ensure i get where i want to in life.

And it just makes me SOO bummed that she's doing this shit. She's always been the SMARTEST person i knew and i know i cant KNOW how she'll end up, but i've lived my whole life in a poor family wondering why the HELL my mother chose to get married 2 weeks after she turned 18 and gave up on her future. She says its because they had to pay rent and car payments and buy food and just... LIVING cost too much for her to go to college... and thats honestly what i see happening here with Britney and it really bums me out because it makes me feel even more alone in being DETERMINED!

...*wow i ranted, sorry*

[itzerikaaa]

Ugh, that sucks so bad. That's exactly why I moved away from home. Everyone I know who didn't go to college out of state is either pregnant or already has kids. And they're ~~engaged (yeah right) I had high hopes for my ex girlfriend too. She was getting her life on track, and now all of a sudden she's pregnant. Due in June. Our generation is ridiculous. It took me so long to finally start having sex because I was always afriad that I'd get pregnant and not be able to go to college. Priorities people!

lol I ranted too