(no subject)
Title:The Need To Be Perfect Is Rarely Worth It (oneshot)
Author: heartsdesire456
Rating: NC-17
POV: 3rd
Pairing: Minties
Summary: Alex has a problem. He can't understand why Ed cries or why his family and friends are worried. He doesn't think there is anything wrong. Maybe all it takes is trusting someone to help. (eating disorder! AU but with a strange twist)
Disclaimer: don't own.
Author's Note: Okay, this fic contains eating disorder stuff but its a wierd take on it. I wrote this for Abigail because she wanted minties and got me thinking about anorexic!Alexl
Ed smiled as he stepped into the studio. “Alex?” he called and Alex turned back for a second before turning right back to his work.
“Yeah?” he asked, scratching something out. Ed walked over and leaned against the table. “Ed, I’m really busy.” He said, looking up.
Ed smiled. “Come on, just a short break?” he said, holding out his hand. “It’s gorgeous outside, you should get some of that vitamin D you know-“
“I can’t have to finish this.” Alex said, brushing off the hand that Ed offered. Ed sighed.
“At least come eat?” Ed offered. “I made us soup and tea.” He said, looking hopeful. Alex just ignored him, writing furiously. “Damn it, Alex!” he snapped and Alex jumped, blinking up at him. “Stop ignoring me. At least tell me to fuck of.” He said, eyes showing hurt.
Alex groaned. “Ed-“ Ed just turned and headed to the stairs. “Eddie?” he called and Ed stopped, turning back with a look of waning patience. Alex looked up at him with his blue eyes wide. “I love you.” He said, and Ed sighed, but offered a smile.
“Love you, too, Alex.” He said tiredly. “Just… I understand, trust me! I just want you to get out of this studio for a few minutes at least. If nothing else go write outside a time or two, okay?” he asked, and Alex nodded. “Okay, well I’ll put your soup away and you can heat it up when you’re too hungry to resist.” He said, smiling. “And please, don’t stay up here all afternoon. I’d really enjoy falling asleep beside you, not fall asleep waiting for you.” He said gently, and Alex nodded.
“Of course.” He said obligingly. Ed just smiled and headed down the stairs.
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Alex looked up at the clock and groaned. It was already later than half past one. He was nowhere near finished but Ed had asked for him to come to bed. He looked down but then saw the poster of them all on the wall and knew that he would get the cold shoulder and big, brown, puppy eyes all day the following day if he didn’t go to bed.
Alex stood, only to lurch to the side. He groaned as a jolt of pain started pounding in his head. He stood up, cringing as his head thudded with his pulse. He crossed the room slowly, feeling lightheaded with every step. His limbs felt heavier by the step. Alex felt slightly panicked because, though he’d had some weakness and head rushes after too long cooped up in the studio without stopping his work for anything, he had never felt so dizzy. He stopped at the top of the stairs, trying to get his balance in order to walk down, only to feel his body lurch slightly. He tried to right himself, only to lose his balance completely.
Alex saw the stairs approaching as he fell forward, frozen in horror before everything went black.
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Ed glanced at the clock and sighed, rolling over. It was nearly two in the morning, yet Alex had said he was coming to bed. Ed tossed a few more times before his anger built up. He sat up and huffed. He slid out of bed, dragged on a pair of pants over his boxers and slid on some shoes before marching out. He was a man on a mission. For weeks all Alex did was write music, write lyrics, and play songs up in the studio and he was sick of it. He was literally starting to feel like an abandoned housewife, only he wasn’t going to sit and eat cakes whilst feeling jilted. His feet crunched on the gravel and he held his arms, shivering. Ed wished he had grabbed a jacket before heading outside at nearly two in the morning. Ed turned and walked along the path to the converted barn. He stepped up to the door and pulled it open, hoping Alex heard him coming and knew he was in for trouble.
However, as soon as Ed stepped inside he froze, staring in shock as the breeze blew the door all the way wide. He was too frozen to stop it from escaping his grasp. “Alex!” he cried as soon as his voice came to him.
Alex lay on his front and side at the corner landing. His head and right arm was crammed against the wall while his legs and lower body were twisted to rest on the stairs going up. Ed ran over and knelt down. “Alex?!” he cried, reaching out, only to curl his fingers back, afraid to touch him. There was a small puddle of blood beneath Alex’s head which scared Ed. He couldn’t see the wound that caused it but he also didn’t want to move him and risk hurting his neck. “Oh Alex.” He whimpered, eyes filling with tears. He carefully held his hand in front of Alex’s face, relaxing ever so slightly when he felt his breath. “Alex? Alex can you hear me?” he asked, carefully catching the very ends of his hair. “Oh God.” He gasped, then felt around, only to realize he didn’t have his cell phone. He looked at Alex’s pocket and didn’t see its outline. He was too worried to move Alex to check under him. “Hang on, Alex.” He said fearfully before rushing up the stairs around him. He rushed to the desk and grabbed the phone, quickly calling the main house.
Ed waited impatiently for Alex’s mother to answer, only to jump when she did. “Call help! Alex fell down the stairs to the studio and he isn’t moving!” he whimpered before quickly hanging up. He quickly called Ali, who was staying the night in ‘his’ room up at the house.
“Wha- Minton you better be dying or you’re going to be dead.” Ali’s voice grumbled put.
By the time Ali spoke Ed had tears in his eyes as he looked back, wanting to rush back. “Ali, please, please come out to the studio!” he gasped, shaking. “Alex’s is hurt. He fell down the stairs and he’s knocked out. He’s bleeding!” he cried, voice shaking.
“Shit, yeah, I’ll be right there.” Ed hung up to the sounds of Ali banging around trying to get dressed quickly.
Ed ran back down the stairs and knelt beside Alex, stroking his hair gently, as he was afraid of touching him anywhere else. “Please, please be okay, Alex.” He whispered desperately. Tears slipped down his eyelashes, and he bit his lip hard to keep from bursting into tears.
“ED?!” Ed heard Ali’s voice and footsteps pounding on the porch. He looked up and saw Ali stop in the doorway. “Shit.” He said, seeing Alex on the floor, blood puddle beneath his head. “That’s not good.” He said, and Ed just whimpered, still petting his hair gently.
Ali walked over and put his hand on Ed’s arm then looked at Alex more closely. “Shit, I hope he’s alright.” He said, lying nearly on the floor as he tried to see the wound that was bleeding.
“Where’s his mum?” Ed asked and Ali lifted his head.
“She went out to the road to make sure they knew to come to the studio.” He said.
It was only a big longer when they heard sirens. Ali stood and ran to the door. Ed just leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to the side of Alex’s head gently. “Please be okay, Lexington.” He said affectionately, sniffing as he stroked the back of his hand. “I love you always.” He said sweetly.
Ed quickly got shoved aside when the paramedics came to check on Alex. Ed felt Ali’s hand on his back and he bit his lip, wiping his face dry as he stood and watched.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ed was sitting beside the hospital bed when Alex woke up. He had woken up once while they were first checking him out, only to pass out again. Alex groaned, alerting them all to his coming around. Ed was quickly at his side, smiling widely when those blue eyes opened up slowly. “Eddie?” he grumbled sleepily.
Ed nodded. “Hey.” He said, smiling down at him. “How are you?” he asked softly, smiling in relief.
Alex groaned. “Who did I piss off so bad they beat me?” he asked, and Ed chuckled, stroking Alex’s hair from his eyes.
“You fell down the stairs, Alex.” He said, and Alex cringed. “Do you remember why?” he asked softly.
Alex groaned, looking around the room. He saw Ali and his mother talking to the doctor, both looking grave. “Where’s dad?” he asked and Ed smiled.
“He’s just gone to call Dan and Teddy to tell them. Ali was going to but I wanted him to stay.” He said squeezing Alex’s hand. “God, I was so scared.” He said, smiling tearfully.
Alex just smiled. “I’m alright. My head hurts but I’ll be okay.” He said, reaching up to cup Ed’s cheek. “Don’t get all girly on me.” He said, smiling. Ed just smiled and pressed a kiss to his forehead.
“Mr. Davies.” Alex and Ed both looked up. “How are you feeling?” The doctor asked. The jovial man had pink cheeks and a ready smile.
Alex smiled. “A bit banged up, but alright.” He said. “What happened?” he asked.
The doctor looked at the chart. “Well Alex, you fell down the stairs and hit your head.” He said. “You had a small cut on your temple, but it bled a good bit so you needed a few stitches.” He said, and Ed nodded, looking at the bandage. “You don’t seem to have a concussion but we’re keeping you over night anyways.” He explained. “Just for observation.” He said. He tapped the chart awkwardly. “Son… do you know why you fell?” he asked lightly, but Ed frowned, hearing a suspicion in his voice.
Alex shrugged hesitantly. “I was really dizzy. I stood up and I almost felt drunk but I hadn’t been drinking. I just lost my balance at the top and fell.” He said. “It was very weird. It scared me a bit.” He added.
Ed sighed. “Alex, I told you to come down for some soup.” He said, and the doctor just looked over at Mrs. Davies and Ali, who both got wide eyed. “You’re always working so hard you don’t bother eating.” He said, lacing their fingers together.
The doctor took a breath. “Alex… is there… anything you’d like to say before I ask you about…” he took another breath. “About your eating habits?” he asked softly.
Alex frowned. “Not really.” He said softly.
Ed frowned. “What are you implying?” He asked defensively, squeezing Alex’s hand.
“Mr. Davies, you exhibit quite a few symptoms of an eating disorder.” He said, and Alex paled.
“I- I eat!” he said, then looked at Ali, who was scratching his neck awkwardly. “I do!” he said.
The doctor sighed. “Alex… how often do you eat?” he asked gently.
Alex shrugged. “I don’t know. More when I’m not working, but I do eat.” He said defensively.
Ed frowned. “Alex… did you eat at all today?” he asked, stroking the back of his hand.
“Not...” Alex deflated. “No.” he said softly.
Ali walked over. “Alex, when is the last time you ate?” he asked looking at him.
Alex shrugged. “I don’t know… when did you make that pork thingy, mum?” he asked and his mother’s eyes widened drastically.
“That was three days ago, Alex!” she said shrilly.
Alex blinked. “I-“ he paused. “Wow, really? I just… I didn’t… I haven’t wanted to stop working.” He said, shrugging.
Ed looked at him. “Alex… is that the truth?” he asked. “I offered to bring you food but… but you said no.” he said, looking at him with wide eyes.
Alex looked at him and shook his head. “I- of course it’s true!” he said defensively.
The doctor sighed. “Alex… how often does this happen?” he asked, and Alex shrugged.
Ali cut in. “He’s always doing this.” He said pointedly. “Over the last six months all he does is work, work, work. He’s always grumpy and he gets all bitchy when anybody tries to interrupt his work.” He said.
“Oh sod off, Alistair; I have to get it right!” Alex said defensively.
The doctor eyed him. “Alex, do you have the same perfection issues with yourself? Your body for instance, do you feel you’re too large?” he asked.
Alex flushed. “I’m kinda chubby but it… As long as I don’t get any fatter I’ll be fine… maybe.” He said softly.
Ed just slumped. “Alex, you’re thin as it is.” He said with empty eyes.
Alex groaned. “Ed, it doesn’t matter really, this all just makes me sound fucking anorexic.” He said, sighing.
“That’s sort of what I think you are.” The doctor said, and Alex scoffed.
“Look, I may be… a bit unhealthy in my eating habits, but I’m not anorexic. It’s not like I sit there and go ‘oh God, if you eat that, you’ll be a cow!’ or something.” He said, then shrugged. “I just… I have more important things to do than eat.” He said with a shrug.
Ed glared. “Yeah, like not eating for days then falling down stairs and nearly dying?!” he asked, and Alex sighed.
“Eddie, it’s not-“
“Oh, don’t ‘Eddie’ me, Davies. You could’ve DIED!” he said pointedly. “And now you’re telling me you did this to yourself?!” he asked. “Do- do you not see you’re skinny as it is and then eating ‘isn’t important’!?” he asked in annoyance.
“Alex, you’re underweight.” The doctor said. “You may not have classic anorexia, but you do seem to have image issues. You are far from ‘chubby’, my friend.” He said, and Alex groaned. “Now, I’m no psychiatrist, but I can recommend one for you.” He said, and Alex snorted. “It seems that your problem isn’t as much fearing you’ll be fat as wanting something to control, which is you not finding food important, and not allowing yourself to see that its bad, which is why you can’t see that you’re thin.” He said. “Now, I’ll fill out a report for you and let you go to a psychiatrist if you like.” He said, and Alex groaned, but Ed nodded.
“Ed, I don’t really think I need-“
“Alex Davies.” He said in a voice and Alex blinked up at him, then sighed.
“Alright, sure ask away.” He said, waving a hand at the doctor.
The doctor smiled in amusement. “Okay, do you have any specific food rituals? Such as cutting all your food into equal bites?” he asked.
Alex shrugged. “No, I don’t think so. Ed?” he asked and Ed shook his head. “No, I don’t.” he said.
“Any compulsive exercising?” he asked, and Ali laughed.
“Alex, exercise?” he asked, snorting.
The doctor smiled. “I’ll take that as a no.” he said, marking it down. “How about depression, isolation, or loneliness?” he asked.
Alex paused. “I’m not… depressed, I mean, I’m a happy guy. I don’t really get lonely either, I have my parents and Ed always there, although I was pretty down while he was in Japan for such a long time. I might’ve been considered depressed then.” He said, chuckling. “It was just so weird to be alone.” He said.
Ed smiled. “You do isolate yourself though.” He said softly, smoothing Alex’s hair gently. “I mean… you’re always working recently and you want to be alone.” He said softly.
Alex cringed. “Only because I can’t focus if I’m bothered, and it has to be perfect.” He said firmly.
Ali sighed. “You can’t make anything NOT perfect, Alex! Hell, half you arrangements are too complex for me and you have to dumb them down for us!” he pointed out. “Always it’s been like that.” He said.
The doctor hummed. “I guess that answers the perfectionism and over achievement goals one.” He said, and Alex glared at Ali. “Do you have difficulty expressing your feelings and emotions?” he asked.
“Of course not, I’m always-“
Ed cut him off. “Remember how long it took for you to admit your feelings to yourself, Alex?” he asked, and Alex sighed. “You said later that you’d felt that way for over three years, and yet you tried to deny it.” He said.
“That’s not what he means, I’m sure. I was just… repressing! I couldn’t handle having such a big part of my thoughts outside my control.” he defended.
The doctor raised an eyebrow. “Difficulty expressing feelings, control issues, and sexual orientation difficulties all in one go.” He said, seemingly surprised.
“I have no issues with my sexuality, thank you.” Alex said with a bite in his voice. “I can love a man without being totally gay.” He said, and Ali snorted.
“Yet you’ve never had that serious of a relationship with a girl your whole life.” He pointed out.
“Cause I was crazy over Ed the whole time!” he said, and Ed blushed. “Of course I never cared for those girls I dated! They weren’t him, they were just… just… repression techniques!” he said.
“Right, sexuality issues.” The doctor said, making a note. “Any intimacy issues?” he asked, and Alex gaped while Ed blushed.
Ali made a face. “Oh Ew, I don’t want to know their… their…habits!” he said, cringing.
Alex’s mother pointedly looked away, pretending she didn’t hear. “I’m not here now, I’m off speaking to someone else.” She said pointedly and Alex flushed.
“No, no dysfunctions, if that’s what you’re asking.” He said.
The doctor looked at him. “Actually, I’m asking how you feel about having sex. Are you usually anxious or at ease? Also do you have sex a regular amount or do you avoid being sexually intimate with your partner?” he asked without any discomfort shown. “Anxiety and decreased interest are also related to anorexia in males.” He said pointedly.
Alex frowned. “Well I don’t have any anxieties, if you must know. I mean… its nothing new, is it?” he asked, and Ed flushed. “And of course I’m interested, look at him!” he said, gesturing to Ed.
Ed was bright red and he hit Alex in the arm. “Shut up, Alex!” he said, clearly embarrassed. “And… well you are sort of… preoccupied lately.” He said and Alex frowned at him. “What?! You are!” he said.
The doctor sighed. “Boys, please don’t argue.” He said, and they both glared at him. “How long have you been sleeping together?” he asked.
Alex flushed. “Um… a year.” He said quickly.
Ed sighed. “Three.” He said awkwardly, and Ali made a triumphant sound.
“I KNEW IT! I knew you two were shagging and nobody believed me!” he said, then laughed maniacally.
Mrs. Davies just groaned. “Where’s a pint when you need one?” she asked, shaking her head with an uncomfortable whine.
“Well after the ‘cant get enough of each other’ phase, say a year ago, how often would you guys have sex?” he asked and Ed flushed.
“Um… maybe… three times a week? Four or five sometimes and one or not at all if we were super busy.” He said bashfully.
Alex smirked. “There was that one time we did it like, five times in one day.” He said, and Ed slapped his arm, glaring.
“Oh God, I don’t want to hear this!” Alex’s mother whined, covering her ears.
Ali shuddered. “You don’t?! At least you don’t have to sleep the next room over half the time!” he said, shaking his head.
The doctor smiled. “Well how often would you say you have sex over the last few months?” he asked and Ali groaned.
“How about we go see what your dear husband is up to?” he suggested suddenly, and Alex’s mother jumped at the opportunity.
“Yes! Let’s go!” she said, grabbing Ali and practically dragging him out.
Alex sighed. “Um… I don’t know…less often maybe? But we’re pretty busy.” He offered, and the doctor shot him a look.
Ed cut in. “Actually we haven’t made love in probably three weeks.” He said, crossing his arms. “I’m lucky to get him to actually come to bed to sleep.” He added pointedly, glaring a bit at Alex, who sighed.
“But Eddie-“
“That’s why I came out tonight! It was two in the morning and you hadn’t come to bed after you promised.” He said.
The doctor nodded. “Mr. Davies, you may not have classic anorexia, but you are anorexic.” He said, and Ed just sighed, looking upset. “Now, you can take this report and go see a psychiatrist, or you can try and turn yourself around, but you have to recognize that you have a problem before anything can be done for you.” He said. “You’re here under observation until morning and after that I’m out of your hair.” He said.
Ed shot him a look. “You can bet I won’t be, Alex.” He said, and Alex just smiled at him.
“I’m never alone when I’ve got you, Ed.” He said, and Ed sighed, letting his head fall to Alex’s arm.
“Oh Alex.” He sighed, feeling helpless.
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When they got home Ed sat on the bed, watching Alex getting changed an in bed himself. “Alex… you do understand you’ve got to get better… right?” He asked softly.
Alex sighed. “I don’t really see what the problem is. So I got busy and forgot to eat, it’s not a big deal! And I’m not unhappy with how I look. I’m just… normal.” He said. Ed just bit his lip as Alex took off his shirt to put on another.
“Alex, you do NOT look normal.” He said, voice shaking. “You’re skin and bones!” he said desperately. “Your ribs are all poking out and your hips do too!” he said. “And I can see maybe missing lunch because you’re busy, but you went THREE days!” he said. “Alex… tell me right now… are you doing it on purpose?” he asked, and Alex sighed.
“No, Ed, I don’t think I’m too fat, I just… eating isn’t as important as writing music is.” He said. “The music has to be perfect. If it’s not perfect I’ll never be able to get it out of my mind. Look at Solaris! We made a dozen versions of that song and I’m STILL not totally sure I’m happy.” He said.
“Alex, we’re not all you!” he said pointedly. “You are a thousand times more talented than any of us! Hell, probably all of us COMBINED! Your guitar parts are too advanced for me half the time and I struggle to get them. About the only thing you DON’T have to dumb down is Dan’s drum parts and that’s only because he’d hit you if you tried to take over it all!” he said. “Ali is one of the best pianists we’ve ever known and he STILL can’t keep up with your pieces for him! You’re never going to be happy with what we can do, Alex, and you can’t kill yourself over the fact we’re not as good as you!” he cried desperately. “I love you, Alex, I have always loved you and I’m always going to love you, but seeing you hurting is like someone’s standing there shooting me every few minutes!” he said.
Alex walked over and sat down. “Ed, you lot aren’t not good enough. None of you are less talented than me. I don’t get frustrated with you all, I get frustrated with myself.” He said. “Hell, you’ve got the better voice, everybody knows it.” He said, and then leaned over to kiss Ed’s forehead. “I’ll promise to try and- and just relax some? I don’t know, try and distract myself from the music some.” He said.
Ed smiled, leaning over to kiss him softly. “Just… promise me you’ll stop long enough to eat, okay?” he asked, and Alex nodded.
“I love you, Eddie.” He said, wrapping his arms around Ed’s middle as he pressed his face into Ed’s hair.
Ed smiled, sighing as he hugged him around his shoulders. “I love you too, Lexington.” He said softly, earning a chuckle. “God, I love you.” He said, tightening his hold on him. “Don’t you ever fall down stairs ever again.” He said seriously, and Alex laughed. “Hey, it’s not funny! I thought you were dead or dying or paralyzed or… or SOMETHING! I cried and Ali saw and your mum saw and I was so scared.” He said, burying his face into Alex’s hair. “You are not allowed to die. Ever.” He said seriously.
Alex turned and caught his lips for a small kiss. “It’s okay, Ed.” He said, and Ed just looked at him with narrowed eyes.
“Never. Allowed.” He said seriously. Alex just laughed, stroking a his freckled cheek.
“Alright, I get it. If I die, you’ll kill me.” He said with a straight face, only to burst out laughing when Ed glared.
“Oh fuck you, get in bed.” Ed demanded as he walked out. When he came back from the bathroom he slid into bed beside Alex and curled into him. Alex sighed and slid his arm around Ed, letting him lay his head on his chest and curl into his side. Alex played absently with Ed’s hair.
Ed sighed, laying his hand on Alex’s chest. “Alex?” he asked softly, and Alex hummed in response. “If I take care of you, will you let me make sure you eat enough?” he asked. “I won’t try and be a food Nazi or something, but if I bring you something to the studio when you’re working, will you stop for just a moment and eat a little?” he asked.
Alex sighed. “I really don’t like being interrupted.” He said, and Ed clenched his eyes shut, tensing. “But if you’ll come sit and eat with me so I can show you what all I’m doing, I’ll try and remember.” He said, and Ed smiled in relief.
“I’m going to take care of you, Alex Davies.” He said, and Alex kissed the top of his head.
“You always have.” He said softly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ed sat on the couch and sighed as he watched Alex continuing to play and write… and also continuing to ignore the plate of sausages sitting beside him. Alex didn’t eat breakfast or lunch for the past four days, only did Ed succeed in making him come in for dinner. Ed sighed. “Alex, you should have some food before its cold.” He tried weakly, but Alex waved a hand.
“Maybe later, I’m busy.” He said, focusing on his work.
Ed groaned in defeat. He got an idea. “I’ll give you a blowjob if you’ll have some lunch.” He tried, and Alex made a noncommittal noise that equated to ‘I’m not listening’ on Ed’s mind. Ed glared. “I’m horny.” He said, and Alex gave no sign of listening. He glared. “I’m going to go run over Molly.” He tried and Alex just waved a hand. “And flush your fish down the toilet.”
“Yeah, whatever.”
Ed glared. “I’m going to have a threesome with Ali and your mum.” He tried, standing and walking to the top of the stairs.
“Alright, have fun darling.” Alex mumbled, before turning to his keyboard. Ed just shook his head and stomped down the stairs angrily.
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A week later, Alex was working around noon when Ed came stomping in. “Here, put these on.” He said, throwing pants and a shirt at Alex, who just let them fall to the floor. “ALEX!” he snapped, and Alex looked up in shock as Ed’s angry voice. “Put on those.” He said.
Alex frowned. “Why?” he asked. “Ed, I’m busy.” He said, and Ed walked over.
“PUT ON THE CLOTHES RIGHT NOW!” he screamed, and Alex looked frightened.
“Okay, fine, fuck.” He said, changing. “Why?” he asked, pulling his shirt on.
Ed sighed. “You have an appointment with a therapist in an hour.” He said, and Alex stopped, staring at him.
“Ed, who scheduled that?” He asked, and Ed sighed.
“I did.” He said, and Alex stopped.
“Oh fuck off, I’m not wasting my time doing that when I need to work!” he said.
Ed glared. “You are going to the appointment.” He said, and Alex glared.
“Who the fuck are you to tell me I need to see some therapist and WASTE TIME!” he cried angrily.
Ed turned and walked to him. “I’m the one trying to freaking save you!” he snapped. “You haven’t eaten much of anything since I’ve started paying attention! In two weeks you’ve reduced yourself to eating once a day and only because me and your mum make you!” he said. “I’ll be damned if I let you keep this up.” He said, glaring.
Alex groaned. “I’m WORKING!” he cried. “I’m doing all this shit to write OUR music! It’s not that big a deal if I don’t eat much, I eat enough! I’m not too thin!” he said, and Ed glared. “I don’t need help and you have no reason to freak out on me and schedule me a head-case appointment!” he cried. “I’m not-“
Ed turned back. “I CANT LOSE YOU!” he cried, voice shaking. Alex just stared. Ed sat down on the couch, putting his face in his hands. “I- I can’t!” he choked out as tears started down his face. “I can’t lose you, Alex, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t!” he whimpered, shaking his head.
Alex stepped closer. “Ed, I-“
Ed looked up with tears on his cheeks. “No. You are going to this therapist if I have to beat you over the head and drag you there!” he demanded. “Because I will not let you starve yourself to death, Alex!” he cried, walking closer. “I love you, Alex James Davies!” he said, tears in his big, brown eyes. “I can’t let you just… just kill yourself over your work when it’s my fault for letting you get this bad in the first place!” he sobbed.
Alex came forward. “Ed, no.” he said, sliding his hands to Ed’s hips. Ed just let out a sob and pressed his face into Alex’s chest, arms going around his neck. “Oh Eddie, don’t cry.” He said, and Ed just sobbed.
“You’re skin and bone.” He sobbed. “You’re sick, Alex! You don’t even realize it!” he cried, pressing his face into Alex’s neck. “It’s my fault! I never thought it was weird you didn’t eat around us, and- and if I was better I could help you write!” he cried. “If I was better you wouldn’t have so much trouble writing stuff that works because we’re not as good as you.” He whimpered. “I’m sorry.” He whispered tearfully.
Alex just stared ahead, rubbing Ed’s back. “Eddie… Eddie, I’m sorry.” He said, turning to kiss his head. “I promise, it’s not your fault.” He said, stroking his hair back. “Ed… I’ll go to the doctor. I’ll get better for you.” He said, and Ed sniffled.
“P-Promise?” he asked. “And not just for me, I want you to WANT to get better.” He said, then pulled back. “I love you, Alex. I can’t lose you.” He said, stroking his cheek as he looked up at him. He smiled wetly, bottom lip trembling. “You’re my Lexington.” He said shakily.
Alex sighed and kissed Ed’s forehead, wrapping his arms around his shoulders as he pulled him closer. “I know, I’m so sorry.” He said, then sighed. “Please- just don’t cry, I- you’re too beautiful to cry.” He said, and Ed giggled. “There, there. I’ll get better for you. I’d do anything for you.” He said, kissing his jaw.
“Good. Now get your shoes, we’re going to that appointment.” Ed said, pulling back. He smiled bravely and wiped his nose with the back of his hand.
Alex stepped closer and kissed him softly, wiping his cheeks dry with his thumbs. “Okay. You get dressed as well.” He said, and Ed nodded, turning to leave. Alex looked around. He looked back at the table and at his keyboard and thought.
For once he didn’t want to sit down and work… he wanted to get dressed and go see if there was any truth to the fact he seemed to have an eating disorder.
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“Mr. Davies, have a seat.” Alex sat down in front of his therapist, a nice looking, kind-faced woman about his mother’s age. “What would you like to talk about?” she asked simply.
Alex bit his lip. “I think I have an eating disorder.” He said, and she nodded for him to continue. “Not… not the normal kind, where the person feels fat and doesn’t wanna be fat.” He said. “I just… don’t feel like I need to eat.” He said. “When I’m working… I can’t be arsed to stop and eat. And- and my friends and family and a doctor all tell me I’m underweight, and really thin, and all that but I don’t see that there’s a problem, even though I trust the person who said I am skin and bones.” He said. “And I don’t think he’s lying.” He said.
She nodded. “Alright, can you tell me why you don’t feel the need to eat?” she asked. “Do you not get hungry?” she asked.
He shook his head. “I’ll be starving, but my work. It’s just too important.” He said, shaking his head. “If it’s not perfect we can’t record and if it’s not recorded we’ll lose our contract.” He said. “It’s just… why would I stop and eat when I could keep working and not lose my flow?!” he asked, sighing. “I just… I want to get better because I’m scaring those I love most.” He said softly.
The doctor nodded. “Alright, well let’s see what we can do, shall we?” she asked, and he nodded.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Alex and Ed got home, Ali was there with Teddy and Dan. Ali stood and walked over. “How’d it go?” he asked, and Alex shot Ed a look.
“What was this, some sort of intervention?” he asked, and Ed blushed but shrugged.
Dan stood up. “So, I hear you’ve gone and got an eating disorder on us, eh?” he asked, looking uneasy.
Alex sighed. “Yeah… I think I have a problem.” He said, and Ed hugged him.
“But, Alex says he can admit it and that he’s going to try his hardest to get better for us.” He said, smiling up at Alex widely.
“Well, how about we start now and let’s go out and have kebabs?” Dan said, and Ed smiled, then turned to Alex.
“What do you say, Alex?” he asked, looking into his eyes. “You feel like going out to dinner?” he asked.
Alex nodded. “Yeah, work can wait a while.” He said, sliding his arms around Ed, smiling when Ed’s eyes lit up and his smile spread.
“Guh, not anymore nasty flirtyness.” Ali groaned.
Ed snorted. “You’re lucky I’m not acting the way I’m thinking.” He said, winking at Ali, who gaped.
Alex snickered. “Really?” he whispered in his ear and Ed shook his head, rolling his eyes. “Damn.” he said, faking a pout.
Teddy just rolled his eyes. “Let’s go.” He said, and Ed beamed as he took Alex’s hand, knowing he was going to actually eat.
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Ed and Alex set up a routine the next day. His therapist had said that the best way was to get someone who cared about him enough to commit to helping set up a schedule for him. Every day when he got up to go to the studio, Ed brought him a small breakfast, such as toast, so it was easy to eat with one hand and work with the other. Ed then came back around lunch time and got Alex to stop working directly and eat something small, even if he didn’t want to leave the studio. And at night, Alex had several alarms set incrementally across the room towards the stairs, with the last being at the bottom, all set two minutes apart to tell him when it was time to quit and go down for dinner.
After a week of following the schedule for the most part (he still only half his breakfast and lunch in his hurry to get back to work), Ed convinced him that they should get the rest of the band and go out to a pub. They were there for hours.
When they got home, Alex stopped as they walked into the house. “Do you know, the entire night at the pub, I actually didn’t think about missing work?” he said, and Ed smiled happily.
“Are you thinking about it now?” he asked, and Alex sheepishly nodded, looking guilty.
“Sorry.” He said. “I just… would it be okay if I go and work for just a few hours?” he asked.
Ed bit his lip and smirked. “You can, but I had a surprised planned for you.” He said
Alex didn’t seem to catch what he was hinting at. “Okay, I’ll only be a little while, I promise. Come kidnap me if I’m too long.” He said, pressing a quick kiss to Ed’s cheek as he jogged off.
Ed just sighed and shook his head. He suddenly got an idea and smirked.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alex had been working for about half an hour when his phone buzzed. He sighed but looked to see why on earth Ed was texting, only to gape and drop his phone. He quickly picked it back up and stared, mouth going dry. The words ‘nobody is home’ were followed by a picture of Ed’s naked upper half, lying on what he recognized as the piano, with a package on his chest.
Japanese Silk Love Rope. Ali had bought it for Ed for his birthday as a joke. Alex didn’t know he even still had it.
He fumbled to text a quick ‘I’m working!’. Just as he pressed send he got another. The text read ‘Sorry, your parents are back, but we can still have fun… check your email.’ Alex quickly rushed to the computer and logged onto his email. He gaped as he opened one titled ‘XXX’ and found his eyes bulging out at the sight. He recognized his room, but his sheets had been replaced with a deep, rich red colored sheets. Ed was lying in the middle of his bed, naked, but with his body twisted so his penis was hidden. He also had the rope tied around one wrist and the rest of it wrapped haphazardly around his body as he held the phone above himself to get the shot.
Alex’s desire to write anything disappeared as the next picture loaded and Ed had managed to tie his hands together over his head and was holding the phone so it looked at the top of his head, his nose, his belly, and his erection, the only things visible through his black hair. Alex jumped up, shutting down everything in the studio before running downstairs. Alex blushed as he walked down the path, hoping his parents didn’t happen to be still down, as he was already hard just from the photos.
Alex climbed the stairs quickly. He opened his bedroom door. “Alex?” Ed’s voice called and he opened the door wider. Ed was laying naked on the bed, arms tied above his head. “Oh thank God. Your mom knocked once. I told her I was changing and she said she’d talk to you tomorrow, but she seriously almost walked in on me tied up nude on-MMmmph” Alex climbed onto the bed and kissed him, pushing him into the sheets.
“You are filthy.” Alex said, kneeling to strip his shirt off. He fell onto his back, struggling to get his jeans off, only to fall off the bed in his haste.
Ed sat up, bringing his arms down in front of him. “Oh Alex, are you alright?” he gasped, and Alex jumped up.
“I’m good.” He said, blushing. He sat down and looked over at Ed. “Oh wait…” he stroked the sheet with his hand. “Holy shit… this is SOFT.” He said, and Ed nodded. “You are filthy.” He said, and Ed laughed. “No, you tied yourself up!” he said, narrowing his eyes. “And emailed me pictures!” he said, then looked him up and down. “Oh God, it’s been too long.” He said, then shoved Ed down. He shoved Ed’s arms up over his head, making Ed laugh.
“I like the rope. It’s so soft.” Ed said wiggling his wrists. “It’s like… I figured you might enjoy a bit of kinky but… I kinda like how this feels against my skin.” He said, biting his bottom lip with mischievous eyes. “And the sheets. I’ve sorta been rolling around in them.” He said, giggling. “I’m so damn sensitive to touch.” He said, sighing.
Alex smirked. “Oh trust me, love, I know.” He said, kissing him sweetly. He trailed his fingers down from Ed’s hands to his ribs slowly, looking into his eyes the whole time. He gently caressed his sides, eliciting a whimper. He smiled sweetly as Ed’s eyes fluttered shut, long lashes batting. He pressed his fingertips into his belly, smiling at how soft Ed’s body was. His skin was like silk and his middle was fleshy and warm. He raised up on his knees, kissing Ed’s fingertips, his palms, and then he focused on kissing down his left arm. He ducked in to kiss his throat, happy when Ed craned his neck, letting him. “So beautiful.” Alex whispered, earning a soft sigh from Ed. He pulled back and kissed his chest. “I’ve missed how your skin tastes.” Alex said, earning a groan from Ed, especially when he lapped at Ed’s nipple.
Alex’s hands slid down Ed’s sides, smiling when Ed’s skin broke out in goose bumps. “You’ve got a curvy waist and little love handles.” He said, sliding down to kiss them. He kissed Ed’s middle, doing a full circle around his belly button. He kissed lower, earning a strained whine.
“Alex, please!” Ed whimpered, only to groan when Alex pressed a kiss to the base of his erection then passed it, heading to his lip. Alex slid his hands down the outsides of Ed’s legs, only to look up as he slid his hands back up his inner thighs. Ed looked down, bottom lip between his teeth as he watched Alex’s hands creeping up his thighs. He moaned as his fingertips brushed Ed’s balls. “Alex, please.” He said, whining softly. “Alex, I-“ Ed gasped as Alex shoved his legs up, knees to his middle. “Oh!” he gasped.
Alex smirked sliding between his knees. “Ah, what was that, Eddie?” he asked, only to dip down, kissing Ed solidly, moaning into the kiss as he stroked Ed’s body.
“Alex, lube.” Ed said, and Alex sat back, looking around. He leaned over and found the bottle on the floor. Alex sat up and smiled as he opened the bottle and squirted some into his hand. “Hmm, you need to hurry.” Ed said, arching his back. “It’s been so long.” He moaned, hooking his legs around Alex’s thighs.
Alex chuckled. “Almost a month, yeah.” He said, kissing Ed as he stroked his entrance teasingly, not breeching him yet. Ed glared at him so Alex gave him what he wanted. Ed’s eyes widened, then he moaned, body arching deliciously. Alex was enraptured with Ed’s beauty. His thick, dark hair was fanned out beneath him on the red sheets. “Ed.” He whispered, leaning down to kiss him. “You’re so beautiful.” Alex brushed a kiss to his chin, then his haw, then his throat.
Ed whimpered. “Alex, please, I need you.” He said, and Alex could tell his body was already thrumming. Alex kissed him deeply, reaching down between them to slick himself with lube. He pulled back and looked down to line up. “Yes, oh God!” Ed moaned as Alex pressed in, his length disappearing into Ed’s body.
“Love you.” Alex moaned, groaning at how tight Ed was around him. He kissed his jaw, moaning as he thrust into him.
Ed nodded. “God, you too, love you too.” He said, looking up at Alex. Alex smiled, stroking Ed’s cheek as they looked into each other’s eyes. “Alex-“ he panted. “You’re so- so important to me.” He admitted, and Alex smiled, kissing him.
“I know you’re important to me.” He said. Ed rearranged his legs to curl around Alex, his back arching when Alex hit the right spot. Alex bit his lip and reached up to grab his arms. He adjusted where the knots were and pulled Ed’s arms around, wrapping them around his neck. Ed smiled up at him lovingly, putting his fingers in Alex’s messy hair. Alex smiled down at him. “I love you.” He said, kissing Ed firmly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ed smiled, kissing Alex softly. “That was incredible.” He said for the thousandth time, still wearing his wrist tied together as he now lay beside Alex, bodies twisted together.
Alex smiled, pressing their foreheads together. “You are.” He said, then sighed. “Come on, out of this.” He pulled Ed’s arms from around him and untied them. He tossed the rope as Ed wrapped his arms around him even tighter, kissing him again. He rolled onto his back, smiling when Ed settled on top of him. “Thank you.” He said softly, pushing his fingers though thick, fluffy, wavy black hair.
Ed frowned. “What’s that for?” he asked.
“You are single handedly making me better.” Alex said, sliding his arms around the small of Ed’s back. “I’m far from fixed, and I’m sure I’ll never be able to take care of myself for shit, but in the short time we’ve been dealing with this schedule thing you’ve managed to make me eat even when I didn’t want to.” He said, smiling. “And you’re really good at distracting me.” He said, making Ed blush.
“Don’t expect kinky sex photos too often.” He said and Alex laughed, shaking his head.
“I don’t mean photos darling.” He said, stroking his cheek. “I mean just… you.” He said. “You are the love of my life, Edward Jun Minton, and I promise you that if I didn’t have you, I’d probably die in a month.” He said, kissing his jaw. “Even before I fell into this obsessive perfective state I’ve had the last six months or so, I’m useless without you.” He said. “I can’t feed myself, I’d get lost in a kitchen. I can’t pack my own bags without you making sure I pack useful things.” He said. He snickered. “When you were gone my mum considered killing me just so she didn’t have to hear me whine about how ‘this coffee is wrong, Ed always makes it this way’ and stuff.” He said, chuckling. He held the back of Ed’s head in his hand. “I need you every day for the rest of my life.” He said tenderly.
Ed smiled. “You more than have me, Alex.” He said, pressing his lips to Alex’s forehead. “I realize it’s only been a short while, but I’m pretty sure that we can make this eating schedule work.” He said. “And I know we’ll fight and I might even hit you some. I’m sure you’ll stop eating again and it will make me cry again.” He said, then smiled widely as he kissed Alex’s head. “But no matter what, I’m always here when you need me. Even if I punch you in the face for being an asshole, I still love you.” He said, kissing Alex’s cheek sweetly.
Ed smiled and curled into Alex’s side, head lying on Alex’s chest. He had one hand rested on Alex’s middle, biting his lip as he counted his ribs. It was painful to really look at how thin Alex was, but he also knew he was getting better slowly. Alex had his arm around him, hand resting on Ed’s back. Alex looked down and raised his other hand to pluck at Ed’s hair. “Eddie?” he asked, stroking his back.
Ed hummed, eyes fluttering sleepily. “Uh-huh?” he mumbled and Alex smiled, biting his lip.
“Eddie, you wanna get married?” he asked softly, looking down at the top of his head.
Ed’s hand stopped. Alex felt him stiffen before quickly looking up, pushing up on to his elbow. “What?!” he asked, eyes wide.
Alex bit his lip. “Will you, Edward Jun Minton, marry me?” he asked, reaching up to cup Ed’s cheek with his hand.
Ed blinked. “Why?” he asked blankly.
Alex frowned. “Um… cause I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you?” he asked, chest constricting at the thought Ed would say no. “Ed… please?” he asked.
Ed just shook his head. “Oh no- yeah.” He laughed, and kissed Alex’s chin. “Oh my God, of course!” he said, laughing. “I’m sorry, I just… it shocked me, of course I’ll marry you.” He said, and Alex smiled.
“Really?” he asked, and Ed nodded, a beam spreading across his face. “Like, seriously you wanna marry me?!” Alex said, laughing happily.
Ed nodded, kissing him. “Oh my God, Alex!” he laughed, smiling down at him. He sat up, straddling Alex, who caught his hands. “I love you.” He said, beaming down at him.
Alex pulled him back in to kiss him soundly. “I love you more.” He said, rolling them over. He stroked Ed’s hair back from his face, smiling giddily. “Oh Ed.” He sighed, then kissed him softly. “You’re so beautiful.” He said, smiling down into his wide, happy eyes.
Ed looked up into beautiful blue eyes and smiled again. “You are too.” He said, placing a hand on Alex’s scruffy cheek.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Epilogue:
“This is the worst idea ever.” Dan said, eyes wide in horror.
Teddy thumped him. “Shut up, they’re getting MARRIED!”
Ali took on a silly face and voice. “Awww, the wittle babykins are getting MAAAWWEIIIIIDD!”
Ed kicked Ali as he walked over and sat down beside Alex, handing him a cup of tea. “Shut up. And Dan, why is it a bad idea?” He asked.
Dan shrugged. “The band?” he said pointedly.
Alex shrugged. “We’ve been living together since before we were together and we’ve been together for years.” He said. “Besides, Eddie’s getting old, it’s about time he settles down and gets married. No more flirting around with other men behind my back.” He said, winking at Ed, who shot him the bird.
“I’m just making an honest woman out of you, Davies.” He said, smiling at him playfully.
Ali cringed. “Ew, I didn’t wanna know Alex likes it up the bum.” He said, and Ed snickered.
“Oh we both do, I’m the one that’s a housewife.” He joked, and Alex smiled. “My Lexington needs me.” He said, reaching out to slide his fingers through Alex’s hair. Alex smiled and turned to look at him tenderly.
Teddy and Dan both groaned. “God, not the girly romance.” Dan said,
“So damn sappy.” Teddy said, earning a laugh from Ali.
“Oh right, like you didn’t cuddle me in your sleep that time-“
“Oh, fuck off, I was ASLEEP and cold!”
“You had a fucking erection, Ed Hetherton, you wanted to bum me!”
“DID NOT!”
Alex just snorted and turned to Ed, who was laughing at their friends. Alex watched the bright smile that lit up Ed’s eyes and knew that no matter how much they argued, no matter if they fought, no matter if he still had eating problems, and no matter how much he made Ed cry when he refused to eat, Ed loved him. Ed loved him for whatever reason and he was the luckiest bastard in the world.
Alex took a sip of his tea as he gazed at Ed and knew marrying him would be the best decision he ever made.
Author: heartsdesire456
Rating: NC-17
POV: 3rd
Pairing: Minties
Summary: Alex has a problem. He can't understand why Ed cries or why his family and friends are worried. He doesn't think there is anything wrong. Maybe all it takes is trusting someone to help. (eating disorder! AU but with a strange twist)
Disclaimer: don't own.
Author's Note: Okay, this fic contains eating disorder stuff but its a wierd take on it. I wrote this for Abigail because she wanted minties and got me thinking about anorexic!Alexl
Ed smiled as he stepped into the studio. “Alex?” he called and Alex turned back for a second before turning right back to his work.
“Yeah?” he asked, scratching something out. Ed walked over and leaned against the table. “Ed, I’m really busy.” He said, looking up.
Ed smiled. “Come on, just a short break?” he said, holding out his hand. “It’s gorgeous outside, you should get some of that vitamin D you know-“
“I can’t have to finish this.” Alex said, brushing off the hand that Ed offered. Ed sighed.
“At least come eat?” Ed offered. “I made us soup and tea.” He said, looking hopeful. Alex just ignored him, writing furiously. “Damn it, Alex!” he snapped and Alex jumped, blinking up at him. “Stop ignoring me. At least tell me to fuck of.” He said, eyes showing hurt.
Alex groaned. “Ed-“ Ed just turned and headed to the stairs. “Eddie?” he called and Ed stopped, turning back with a look of waning patience. Alex looked up at him with his blue eyes wide. “I love you.” He said, and Ed sighed, but offered a smile.
“Love you, too, Alex.” He said tiredly. “Just… I understand, trust me! I just want you to get out of this studio for a few minutes at least. If nothing else go write outside a time or two, okay?” he asked, and Alex nodded. “Okay, well I’ll put your soup away and you can heat it up when you’re too hungry to resist.” He said, smiling. “And please, don’t stay up here all afternoon. I’d really enjoy falling asleep beside you, not fall asleep waiting for you.” He said gently, and Alex nodded.
“Of course.” He said obligingly. Ed just smiled and headed down the stairs.
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Alex looked up at the clock and groaned. It was already later than half past one. He was nowhere near finished but Ed had asked for him to come to bed. He looked down but then saw the poster of them all on the wall and knew that he would get the cold shoulder and big, brown, puppy eyes all day the following day if he didn’t go to bed.
Alex stood, only to lurch to the side. He groaned as a jolt of pain started pounding in his head. He stood up, cringing as his head thudded with his pulse. He crossed the room slowly, feeling lightheaded with every step. His limbs felt heavier by the step. Alex felt slightly panicked because, though he’d had some weakness and head rushes after too long cooped up in the studio without stopping his work for anything, he had never felt so dizzy. He stopped at the top of the stairs, trying to get his balance in order to walk down, only to feel his body lurch slightly. He tried to right himself, only to lose his balance completely.
Alex saw the stairs approaching as he fell forward, frozen in horror before everything went black.
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Ed glanced at the clock and sighed, rolling over. It was nearly two in the morning, yet Alex had said he was coming to bed. Ed tossed a few more times before his anger built up. He sat up and huffed. He slid out of bed, dragged on a pair of pants over his boxers and slid on some shoes before marching out. He was a man on a mission. For weeks all Alex did was write music, write lyrics, and play songs up in the studio and he was sick of it. He was literally starting to feel like an abandoned housewife, only he wasn’t going to sit and eat cakes whilst feeling jilted. His feet crunched on the gravel and he held his arms, shivering. Ed wished he had grabbed a jacket before heading outside at nearly two in the morning. Ed turned and walked along the path to the converted barn. He stepped up to the door and pulled it open, hoping Alex heard him coming and knew he was in for trouble.
However, as soon as Ed stepped inside he froze, staring in shock as the breeze blew the door all the way wide. He was too frozen to stop it from escaping his grasp. “Alex!” he cried as soon as his voice came to him.
Alex lay on his front and side at the corner landing. His head and right arm was crammed against the wall while his legs and lower body were twisted to rest on the stairs going up. Ed ran over and knelt down. “Alex?!” he cried, reaching out, only to curl his fingers back, afraid to touch him. There was a small puddle of blood beneath Alex’s head which scared Ed. He couldn’t see the wound that caused it but he also didn’t want to move him and risk hurting his neck. “Oh Alex.” He whimpered, eyes filling with tears. He carefully held his hand in front of Alex’s face, relaxing ever so slightly when he felt his breath. “Alex? Alex can you hear me?” he asked, carefully catching the very ends of his hair. “Oh God.” He gasped, then felt around, only to realize he didn’t have his cell phone. He looked at Alex’s pocket and didn’t see its outline. He was too worried to move Alex to check under him. “Hang on, Alex.” He said fearfully before rushing up the stairs around him. He rushed to the desk and grabbed the phone, quickly calling the main house.
Ed waited impatiently for Alex’s mother to answer, only to jump when she did. “Call help! Alex fell down the stairs to the studio and he isn’t moving!” he whimpered before quickly hanging up. He quickly called Ali, who was staying the night in ‘his’ room up at the house.
“Wha- Minton you better be dying or you’re going to be dead.” Ali’s voice grumbled put.
By the time Ali spoke Ed had tears in his eyes as he looked back, wanting to rush back. “Ali, please, please come out to the studio!” he gasped, shaking. “Alex’s is hurt. He fell down the stairs and he’s knocked out. He’s bleeding!” he cried, voice shaking.
“Shit, yeah, I’ll be right there.” Ed hung up to the sounds of Ali banging around trying to get dressed quickly.
Ed ran back down the stairs and knelt beside Alex, stroking his hair gently, as he was afraid of touching him anywhere else. “Please, please be okay, Alex.” He whispered desperately. Tears slipped down his eyelashes, and he bit his lip hard to keep from bursting into tears.
“ED?!” Ed heard Ali’s voice and footsteps pounding on the porch. He looked up and saw Ali stop in the doorway. “Shit.” He said, seeing Alex on the floor, blood puddle beneath his head. “That’s not good.” He said, and Ed just whimpered, still petting his hair gently.
Ali walked over and put his hand on Ed’s arm then looked at Alex more closely. “Shit, I hope he’s alright.” He said, lying nearly on the floor as he tried to see the wound that was bleeding.
“Where’s his mum?” Ed asked and Ali lifted his head.
“She went out to the road to make sure they knew to come to the studio.” He said.
It was only a big longer when they heard sirens. Ali stood and ran to the door. Ed just leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to the side of Alex’s head gently. “Please be okay, Lexington.” He said affectionately, sniffing as he stroked the back of his hand. “I love you always.” He said sweetly.
Ed quickly got shoved aside when the paramedics came to check on Alex. Ed felt Ali’s hand on his back and he bit his lip, wiping his face dry as he stood and watched.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ed was sitting beside the hospital bed when Alex woke up. He had woken up once while they were first checking him out, only to pass out again. Alex groaned, alerting them all to his coming around. Ed was quickly at his side, smiling widely when those blue eyes opened up slowly. “Eddie?” he grumbled sleepily.
Ed nodded. “Hey.” He said, smiling down at him. “How are you?” he asked softly, smiling in relief.
Alex groaned. “Who did I piss off so bad they beat me?” he asked, and Ed chuckled, stroking Alex’s hair from his eyes.
“You fell down the stairs, Alex.” He said, and Alex cringed. “Do you remember why?” he asked softly.
Alex groaned, looking around the room. He saw Ali and his mother talking to the doctor, both looking grave. “Where’s dad?” he asked and Ed smiled.
“He’s just gone to call Dan and Teddy to tell them. Ali was going to but I wanted him to stay.” He said squeezing Alex’s hand. “God, I was so scared.” He said, smiling tearfully.
Alex just smiled. “I’m alright. My head hurts but I’ll be okay.” He said, reaching up to cup Ed’s cheek. “Don’t get all girly on me.” He said, smiling. Ed just smiled and pressed a kiss to his forehead.
“Mr. Davies.” Alex and Ed both looked up. “How are you feeling?” The doctor asked. The jovial man had pink cheeks and a ready smile.
Alex smiled. “A bit banged up, but alright.” He said. “What happened?” he asked.
The doctor looked at the chart. “Well Alex, you fell down the stairs and hit your head.” He said. “You had a small cut on your temple, but it bled a good bit so you needed a few stitches.” He said, and Ed nodded, looking at the bandage. “You don’t seem to have a concussion but we’re keeping you over night anyways.” He explained. “Just for observation.” He said. He tapped the chart awkwardly. “Son… do you know why you fell?” he asked lightly, but Ed frowned, hearing a suspicion in his voice.
Alex shrugged hesitantly. “I was really dizzy. I stood up and I almost felt drunk but I hadn’t been drinking. I just lost my balance at the top and fell.” He said. “It was very weird. It scared me a bit.” He added.
Ed sighed. “Alex, I told you to come down for some soup.” He said, and the doctor just looked over at Mrs. Davies and Ali, who both got wide eyed. “You’re always working so hard you don’t bother eating.” He said, lacing their fingers together.
The doctor took a breath. “Alex… is there… anything you’d like to say before I ask you about…” he took another breath. “About your eating habits?” he asked softly.
Alex frowned. “Not really.” He said softly.
Ed frowned. “What are you implying?” He asked defensively, squeezing Alex’s hand.
“Mr. Davies, you exhibit quite a few symptoms of an eating disorder.” He said, and Alex paled.
“I- I eat!” he said, then looked at Ali, who was scratching his neck awkwardly. “I do!” he said.
The doctor sighed. “Alex… how often do you eat?” he asked gently.
Alex shrugged. “I don’t know. More when I’m not working, but I do eat.” He said defensively.
Ed frowned. “Alex… did you eat at all today?” he asked, stroking the back of his hand.
“Not...” Alex deflated. “No.” he said softly.
Ali walked over. “Alex, when is the last time you ate?” he asked looking at him.
Alex shrugged. “I don’t know… when did you make that pork thingy, mum?” he asked and his mother’s eyes widened drastically.
“That was three days ago, Alex!” she said shrilly.
Alex blinked. “I-“ he paused. “Wow, really? I just… I didn’t… I haven’t wanted to stop working.” He said, shrugging.
Ed looked at him. “Alex… is that the truth?” he asked. “I offered to bring you food but… but you said no.” he said, looking at him with wide eyes.
Alex looked at him and shook his head. “I- of course it’s true!” he said defensively.
The doctor sighed. “Alex… how often does this happen?” he asked, and Alex shrugged.
Ali cut in. “He’s always doing this.” He said pointedly. “Over the last six months all he does is work, work, work. He’s always grumpy and he gets all bitchy when anybody tries to interrupt his work.” He said.
“Oh sod off, Alistair; I have to get it right!” Alex said defensively.
The doctor eyed him. “Alex, do you have the same perfection issues with yourself? Your body for instance, do you feel you’re too large?” he asked.
Alex flushed. “I’m kinda chubby but it… As long as I don’t get any fatter I’ll be fine… maybe.” He said softly.
Ed just slumped. “Alex, you’re thin as it is.” He said with empty eyes.
Alex groaned. “Ed, it doesn’t matter really, this all just makes me sound fucking anorexic.” He said, sighing.
“That’s sort of what I think you are.” The doctor said, and Alex scoffed.
“Look, I may be… a bit unhealthy in my eating habits, but I’m not anorexic. It’s not like I sit there and go ‘oh God, if you eat that, you’ll be a cow!’ or something.” He said, then shrugged. “I just… I have more important things to do than eat.” He said with a shrug.
Ed glared. “Yeah, like not eating for days then falling down stairs and nearly dying?!” he asked, and Alex sighed.
“Eddie, it’s not-“
“Oh, don’t ‘Eddie’ me, Davies. You could’ve DIED!” he said pointedly. “And now you’re telling me you did this to yourself?!” he asked. “Do- do you not see you’re skinny as it is and then eating ‘isn’t important’!?” he asked in annoyance.
“Alex, you’re underweight.” The doctor said. “You may not have classic anorexia, but you do seem to have image issues. You are far from ‘chubby’, my friend.” He said, and Alex groaned. “Now, I’m no psychiatrist, but I can recommend one for you.” He said, and Alex snorted. “It seems that your problem isn’t as much fearing you’ll be fat as wanting something to control, which is you not finding food important, and not allowing yourself to see that its bad, which is why you can’t see that you’re thin.” He said. “Now, I’ll fill out a report for you and let you go to a psychiatrist if you like.” He said, and Alex groaned, but Ed nodded.
“Ed, I don’t really think I need-“
“Alex Davies.” He said in a voice and Alex blinked up at him, then sighed.
“Alright, sure ask away.” He said, waving a hand at the doctor.
The doctor smiled in amusement. “Okay, do you have any specific food rituals? Such as cutting all your food into equal bites?” he asked.
Alex shrugged. “No, I don’t think so. Ed?” he asked and Ed shook his head. “No, I don’t.” he said.
“Any compulsive exercising?” he asked, and Ali laughed.
“Alex, exercise?” he asked, snorting.
The doctor smiled. “I’ll take that as a no.” he said, marking it down. “How about depression, isolation, or loneliness?” he asked.
Alex paused. “I’m not… depressed, I mean, I’m a happy guy. I don’t really get lonely either, I have my parents and Ed always there, although I was pretty down while he was in Japan for such a long time. I might’ve been considered depressed then.” He said, chuckling. “It was just so weird to be alone.” He said.
Ed smiled. “You do isolate yourself though.” He said softly, smoothing Alex’s hair gently. “I mean… you’re always working recently and you want to be alone.” He said softly.
Alex cringed. “Only because I can’t focus if I’m bothered, and it has to be perfect.” He said firmly.
Ali sighed. “You can’t make anything NOT perfect, Alex! Hell, half you arrangements are too complex for me and you have to dumb them down for us!” he pointed out. “Always it’s been like that.” He said.
The doctor hummed. “I guess that answers the perfectionism and over achievement goals one.” He said, and Alex glared at Ali. “Do you have difficulty expressing your feelings and emotions?” he asked.
“Of course not, I’m always-“
Ed cut him off. “Remember how long it took for you to admit your feelings to yourself, Alex?” he asked, and Alex sighed. “You said later that you’d felt that way for over three years, and yet you tried to deny it.” He said.
“That’s not what he means, I’m sure. I was just… repressing! I couldn’t handle having such a big part of my thoughts outside my control.” he defended.
The doctor raised an eyebrow. “Difficulty expressing feelings, control issues, and sexual orientation difficulties all in one go.” He said, seemingly surprised.
“I have no issues with my sexuality, thank you.” Alex said with a bite in his voice. “I can love a man without being totally gay.” He said, and Ali snorted.
“Yet you’ve never had that serious of a relationship with a girl your whole life.” He pointed out.
“Cause I was crazy over Ed the whole time!” he said, and Ed blushed. “Of course I never cared for those girls I dated! They weren’t him, they were just… just… repression techniques!” he said.
“Right, sexuality issues.” The doctor said, making a note. “Any intimacy issues?” he asked, and Alex gaped while Ed blushed.
Ali made a face. “Oh Ew, I don’t want to know their… their…habits!” he said, cringing.
Alex’s mother pointedly looked away, pretending she didn’t hear. “I’m not here now, I’m off speaking to someone else.” She said pointedly and Alex flushed.
“No, no dysfunctions, if that’s what you’re asking.” He said.
The doctor looked at him. “Actually, I’m asking how you feel about having sex. Are you usually anxious or at ease? Also do you have sex a regular amount or do you avoid being sexually intimate with your partner?” he asked without any discomfort shown. “Anxiety and decreased interest are also related to anorexia in males.” He said pointedly.
Alex frowned. “Well I don’t have any anxieties, if you must know. I mean… its nothing new, is it?” he asked, and Ed flushed. “And of course I’m interested, look at him!” he said, gesturing to Ed.
Ed was bright red and he hit Alex in the arm. “Shut up, Alex!” he said, clearly embarrassed. “And… well you are sort of… preoccupied lately.” He said and Alex frowned at him. “What?! You are!” he said.
The doctor sighed. “Boys, please don’t argue.” He said, and they both glared at him. “How long have you been sleeping together?” he asked.
Alex flushed. “Um… a year.” He said quickly.
Ed sighed. “Three.” He said awkwardly, and Ali made a triumphant sound.
“I KNEW IT! I knew you two were shagging and nobody believed me!” he said, then laughed maniacally.
Mrs. Davies just groaned. “Where’s a pint when you need one?” she asked, shaking her head with an uncomfortable whine.
“Well after the ‘cant get enough of each other’ phase, say a year ago, how often would you guys have sex?” he asked and Ed flushed.
“Um… maybe… three times a week? Four or five sometimes and one or not at all if we were super busy.” He said bashfully.
Alex smirked. “There was that one time we did it like, five times in one day.” He said, and Ed slapped his arm, glaring.
“Oh God, I don’t want to hear this!” Alex’s mother whined, covering her ears.
Ali shuddered. “You don’t?! At least you don’t have to sleep the next room over half the time!” he said, shaking his head.
The doctor smiled. “Well how often would you say you have sex over the last few months?” he asked and Ali groaned.
“How about we go see what your dear husband is up to?” he suggested suddenly, and Alex’s mother jumped at the opportunity.
“Yes! Let’s go!” she said, grabbing Ali and practically dragging him out.
Alex sighed. “Um… I don’t know…less often maybe? But we’re pretty busy.” He offered, and the doctor shot him a look.
Ed cut in. “Actually we haven’t made love in probably three weeks.” He said, crossing his arms. “I’m lucky to get him to actually come to bed to sleep.” He added pointedly, glaring a bit at Alex, who sighed.
“But Eddie-“
“That’s why I came out tonight! It was two in the morning and you hadn’t come to bed after you promised.” He said.
The doctor nodded. “Mr. Davies, you may not have classic anorexia, but you are anorexic.” He said, and Ed just sighed, looking upset. “Now, you can take this report and go see a psychiatrist, or you can try and turn yourself around, but you have to recognize that you have a problem before anything can be done for you.” He said. “You’re here under observation until morning and after that I’m out of your hair.” He said.
Ed shot him a look. “You can bet I won’t be, Alex.” He said, and Alex just smiled at him.
“I’m never alone when I’ve got you, Ed.” He said, and Ed sighed, letting his head fall to Alex’s arm.
“Oh Alex.” He sighed, feeling helpless.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When they got home Ed sat on the bed, watching Alex getting changed an in bed himself. “Alex… you do understand you’ve got to get better… right?” He asked softly.
Alex sighed. “I don’t really see what the problem is. So I got busy and forgot to eat, it’s not a big deal! And I’m not unhappy with how I look. I’m just… normal.” He said. Ed just bit his lip as Alex took off his shirt to put on another.
“Alex, you do NOT look normal.” He said, voice shaking. “You’re skin and bones!” he said desperately. “Your ribs are all poking out and your hips do too!” he said. “And I can see maybe missing lunch because you’re busy, but you went THREE days!” he said. “Alex… tell me right now… are you doing it on purpose?” he asked, and Alex sighed.
“No, Ed, I don’t think I’m too fat, I just… eating isn’t as important as writing music is.” He said. “The music has to be perfect. If it’s not perfect I’ll never be able to get it out of my mind. Look at Solaris! We made a dozen versions of that song and I’m STILL not totally sure I’m happy.” He said.
“Alex, we’re not all you!” he said pointedly. “You are a thousand times more talented than any of us! Hell, probably all of us COMBINED! Your guitar parts are too advanced for me half the time and I struggle to get them. About the only thing you DON’T have to dumb down is Dan’s drum parts and that’s only because he’d hit you if you tried to take over it all!” he said. “Ali is one of the best pianists we’ve ever known and he STILL can’t keep up with your pieces for him! You’re never going to be happy with what we can do, Alex, and you can’t kill yourself over the fact we’re not as good as you!” he cried desperately. “I love you, Alex, I have always loved you and I’m always going to love you, but seeing you hurting is like someone’s standing there shooting me every few minutes!” he said.
Alex walked over and sat down. “Ed, you lot aren’t not good enough. None of you are less talented than me. I don’t get frustrated with you all, I get frustrated with myself.” He said. “Hell, you’ve got the better voice, everybody knows it.” He said, and then leaned over to kiss Ed’s forehead. “I’ll promise to try and- and just relax some? I don’t know, try and distract myself from the music some.” He said.
Ed smiled, leaning over to kiss him softly. “Just… promise me you’ll stop long enough to eat, okay?” he asked, and Alex nodded.
“I love you, Eddie.” He said, wrapping his arms around Ed’s middle as he pressed his face into Ed’s hair.
Ed smiled, sighing as he hugged him around his shoulders. “I love you too, Lexington.” He said softly, earning a chuckle. “God, I love you.” He said, tightening his hold on him. “Don’t you ever fall down stairs ever again.” He said seriously, and Alex laughed. “Hey, it’s not funny! I thought you were dead or dying or paralyzed or… or SOMETHING! I cried and Ali saw and your mum saw and I was so scared.” He said, burying his face into Alex’s hair. “You are not allowed to die. Ever.” He said seriously.
Alex turned and caught his lips for a small kiss. “It’s okay, Ed.” He said, and Ed just looked at him with narrowed eyes.
“Never. Allowed.” He said seriously. Alex just laughed, stroking a his freckled cheek.
“Alright, I get it. If I die, you’ll kill me.” He said with a straight face, only to burst out laughing when Ed glared.
“Oh fuck you, get in bed.” Ed demanded as he walked out. When he came back from the bathroom he slid into bed beside Alex and curled into him. Alex sighed and slid his arm around Ed, letting him lay his head on his chest and curl into his side. Alex played absently with Ed’s hair.
Ed sighed, laying his hand on Alex’s chest. “Alex?” he asked softly, and Alex hummed in response. “If I take care of you, will you let me make sure you eat enough?” he asked. “I won’t try and be a food Nazi or something, but if I bring you something to the studio when you’re working, will you stop for just a moment and eat a little?” he asked.
Alex sighed. “I really don’t like being interrupted.” He said, and Ed clenched his eyes shut, tensing. “But if you’ll come sit and eat with me so I can show you what all I’m doing, I’ll try and remember.” He said, and Ed smiled in relief.
“I’m going to take care of you, Alex Davies.” He said, and Alex kissed the top of his head.
“You always have.” He said softly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ed sat on the couch and sighed as he watched Alex continuing to play and write… and also continuing to ignore the plate of sausages sitting beside him. Alex didn’t eat breakfast or lunch for the past four days, only did Ed succeed in making him come in for dinner. Ed sighed. “Alex, you should have some food before its cold.” He tried weakly, but Alex waved a hand.
“Maybe later, I’m busy.” He said, focusing on his work.
Ed groaned in defeat. He got an idea. “I’ll give you a blowjob if you’ll have some lunch.” He tried, and Alex made a noncommittal noise that equated to ‘I’m not listening’ on Ed’s mind. Ed glared. “I’m horny.” He said, and Alex gave no sign of listening. He glared. “I’m going to go run over Molly.” He tried and Alex just waved a hand. “And flush your fish down the toilet.”
“Yeah, whatever.”
Ed glared. “I’m going to have a threesome with Ali and your mum.” He tried, standing and walking to the top of the stairs.
“Alright, have fun darling.” Alex mumbled, before turning to his keyboard. Ed just shook his head and stomped down the stairs angrily.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A week later, Alex was working around noon when Ed came stomping in. “Here, put these on.” He said, throwing pants and a shirt at Alex, who just let them fall to the floor. “ALEX!” he snapped, and Alex looked up in shock as Ed’s angry voice. “Put on those.” He said.
Alex frowned. “Why?” he asked. “Ed, I’m busy.” He said, and Ed walked over.
“PUT ON THE CLOTHES RIGHT NOW!” he screamed, and Alex looked frightened.
“Okay, fine, fuck.” He said, changing. “Why?” he asked, pulling his shirt on.
Ed sighed. “You have an appointment with a therapist in an hour.” He said, and Alex stopped, staring at him.
“Ed, who scheduled that?” He asked, and Ed sighed.
“I did.” He said, and Alex stopped.
“Oh fuck off, I’m not wasting my time doing that when I need to work!” he said.
Ed glared. “You are going to the appointment.” He said, and Alex glared.
“Who the fuck are you to tell me I need to see some therapist and WASTE TIME!” he cried angrily.
Ed turned and walked to him. “I’m the one trying to freaking save you!” he snapped. “You haven’t eaten much of anything since I’ve started paying attention! In two weeks you’ve reduced yourself to eating once a day and only because me and your mum make you!” he said. “I’ll be damned if I let you keep this up.” He said, glaring.
Alex groaned. “I’m WORKING!” he cried. “I’m doing all this shit to write OUR music! It’s not that big a deal if I don’t eat much, I eat enough! I’m not too thin!” he said, and Ed glared. “I don’t need help and you have no reason to freak out on me and schedule me a head-case appointment!” he cried. “I’m not-“
Ed turned back. “I CANT LOSE YOU!” he cried, voice shaking. Alex just stared. Ed sat down on the couch, putting his face in his hands. “I- I can’t!” he choked out as tears started down his face. “I can’t lose you, Alex, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t!” he whimpered, shaking his head.
Alex stepped closer. “Ed, I-“
Ed looked up with tears on his cheeks. “No. You are going to this therapist if I have to beat you over the head and drag you there!” he demanded. “Because I will not let you starve yourself to death, Alex!” he cried, walking closer. “I love you, Alex James Davies!” he said, tears in his big, brown eyes. “I can’t let you just… just kill yourself over your work when it’s my fault for letting you get this bad in the first place!” he sobbed.
Alex came forward. “Ed, no.” he said, sliding his hands to Ed’s hips. Ed just let out a sob and pressed his face into Alex’s chest, arms going around his neck. “Oh Eddie, don’t cry.” He said, and Ed just sobbed.
“You’re skin and bone.” He sobbed. “You’re sick, Alex! You don’t even realize it!” he cried, pressing his face into Alex’s neck. “It’s my fault! I never thought it was weird you didn’t eat around us, and- and if I was better I could help you write!” he cried. “If I was better you wouldn’t have so much trouble writing stuff that works because we’re not as good as you.” He whimpered. “I’m sorry.” He whispered tearfully.
Alex just stared ahead, rubbing Ed’s back. “Eddie… Eddie, I’m sorry.” He said, turning to kiss his head. “I promise, it’s not your fault.” He said, stroking his hair back. “Ed… I’ll go to the doctor. I’ll get better for you.” He said, and Ed sniffled.
“P-Promise?” he asked. “And not just for me, I want you to WANT to get better.” He said, then pulled back. “I love you, Alex. I can’t lose you.” He said, stroking his cheek as he looked up at him. He smiled wetly, bottom lip trembling. “You’re my Lexington.” He said shakily.
Alex sighed and kissed Ed’s forehead, wrapping his arms around his shoulders as he pulled him closer. “I know, I’m so sorry.” He said, then sighed. “Please- just don’t cry, I- you’re too beautiful to cry.” He said, and Ed giggled. “There, there. I’ll get better for you. I’d do anything for you.” He said, kissing his jaw.
“Good. Now get your shoes, we’re going to that appointment.” Ed said, pulling back. He smiled bravely and wiped his nose with the back of his hand.
Alex stepped closer and kissed him softly, wiping his cheeks dry with his thumbs. “Okay. You get dressed as well.” He said, and Ed nodded, turning to leave. Alex looked around. He looked back at the table and at his keyboard and thought.
For once he didn’t want to sit down and work… he wanted to get dressed and go see if there was any truth to the fact he seemed to have an eating disorder.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Mr. Davies, have a seat.” Alex sat down in front of his therapist, a nice looking, kind-faced woman about his mother’s age. “What would you like to talk about?” she asked simply.
Alex bit his lip. “I think I have an eating disorder.” He said, and she nodded for him to continue. “Not… not the normal kind, where the person feels fat and doesn’t wanna be fat.” He said. “I just… don’t feel like I need to eat.” He said. “When I’m working… I can’t be arsed to stop and eat. And- and my friends and family and a doctor all tell me I’m underweight, and really thin, and all that but I don’t see that there’s a problem, even though I trust the person who said I am skin and bones.” He said. “And I don’t think he’s lying.” He said.
She nodded. “Alright, can you tell me why you don’t feel the need to eat?” she asked. “Do you not get hungry?” she asked.
He shook his head. “I’ll be starving, but my work. It’s just too important.” He said, shaking his head. “If it’s not perfect we can’t record and if it’s not recorded we’ll lose our contract.” He said. “It’s just… why would I stop and eat when I could keep working and not lose my flow?!” he asked, sighing. “I just… I want to get better because I’m scaring those I love most.” He said softly.
The doctor nodded. “Alright, well let’s see what we can do, shall we?” she asked, and he nodded.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Alex and Ed got home, Ali was there with Teddy and Dan. Ali stood and walked over. “How’d it go?” he asked, and Alex shot Ed a look.
“What was this, some sort of intervention?” he asked, and Ed blushed but shrugged.
Dan stood up. “So, I hear you’ve gone and got an eating disorder on us, eh?” he asked, looking uneasy.
Alex sighed. “Yeah… I think I have a problem.” He said, and Ed hugged him.
“But, Alex says he can admit it and that he’s going to try his hardest to get better for us.” He said, smiling up at Alex widely.
“Well, how about we start now and let’s go out and have kebabs?” Dan said, and Ed smiled, then turned to Alex.
“What do you say, Alex?” he asked, looking into his eyes. “You feel like going out to dinner?” he asked.
Alex nodded. “Yeah, work can wait a while.” He said, sliding his arms around Ed, smiling when Ed’s eyes lit up and his smile spread.
“Guh, not anymore nasty flirtyness.” Ali groaned.
Ed snorted. “You’re lucky I’m not acting the way I’m thinking.” He said, winking at Ali, who gaped.
Alex snickered. “Really?” he whispered in his ear and Ed shook his head, rolling his eyes. “Damn.” he said, faking a pout.
Teddy just rolled his eyes. “Let’s go.” He said, and Ed beamed as he took Alex’s hand, knowing he was going to actually eat.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ed and Alex set up a routine the next day. His therapist had said that the best way was to get someone who cared about him enough to commit to helping set up a schedule for him. Every day when he got up to go to the studio, Ed brought him a small breakfast, such as toast, so it was easy to eat with one hand and work with the other. Ed then came back around lunch time and got Alex to stop working directly and eat something small, even if he didn’t want to leave the studio. And at night, Alex had several alarms set incrementally across the room towards the stairs, with the last being at the bottom, all set two minutes apart to tell him when it was time to quit and go down for dinner.
After a week of following the schedule for the most part (he still only half his breakfast and lunch in his hurry to get back to work), Ed convinced him that they should get the rest of the band and go out to a pub. They were there for hours.
When they got home, Alex stopped as they walked into the house. “Do you know, the entire night at the pub, I actually didn’t think about missing work?” he said, and Ed smiled happily.
“Are you thinking about it now?” he asked, and Alex sheepishly nodded, looking guilty.
“Sorry.” He said. “I just… would it be okay if I go and work for just a few hours?” he asked.
Ed bit his lip and smirked. “You can, but I had a surprised planned for you.” He said
Alex didn’t seem to catch what he was hinting at. “Okay, I’ll only be a little while, I promise. Come kidnap me if I’m too long.” He said, pressing a quick kiss to Ed’s cheek as he jogged off.
Ed just sighed and shook his head. He suddenly got an idea and smirked.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alex had been working for about half an hour when his phone buzzed. He sighed but looked to see why on earth Ed was texting, only to gape and drop his phone. He quickly picked it back up and stared, mouth going dry. The words ‘nobody is home’ were followed by a picture of Ed’s naked upper half, lying on what he recognized as the piano, with a package on his chest.
Japanese Silk Love Rope. Ali had bought it for Ed for his birthday as a joke. Alex didn’t know he even still had it.
He fumbled to text a quick ‘I’m working!’. Just as he pressed send he got another. The text read ‘Sorry, your parents are back, but we can still have fun… check your email.’ Alex quickly rushed to the computer and logged onto his email. He gaped as he opened one titled ‘XXX’ and found his eyes bulging out at the sight. He recognized his room, but his sheets had been replaced with a deep, rich red colored sheets. Ed was lying in the middle of his bed, naked, but with his body twisted so his penis was hidden. He also had the rope tied around one wrist and the rest of it wrapped haphazardly around his body as he held the phone above himself to get the shot.
Alex’s desire to write anything disappeared as the next picture loaded and Ed had managed to tie his hands together over his head and was holding the phone so it looked at the top of his head, his nose, his belly, and his erection, the only things visible through his black hair. Alex jumped up, shutting down everything in the studio before running downstairs. Alex blushed as he walked down the path, hoping his parents didn’t happen to be still down, as he was already hard just from the photos.
Alex climbed the stairs quickly. He opened his bedroom door. “Alex?” Ed’s voice called and he opened the door wider. Ed was laying naked on the bed, arms tied above his head. “Oh thank God. Your mom knocked once. I told her I was changing and she said she’d talk to you tomorrow, but she seriously almost walked in on me tied up nude on-MMmmph” Alex climbed onto the bed and kissed him, pushing him into the sheets.
“You are filthy.” Alex said, kneeling to strip his shirt off. He fell onto his back, struggling to get his jeans off, only to fall off the bed in his haste.
Ed sat up, bringing his arms down in front of him. “Oh Alex, are you alright?” he gasped, and Alex jumped up.
“I’m good.” He said, blushing. He sat down and looked over at Ed. “Oh wait…” he stroked the sheet with his hand. “Holy shit… this is SOFT.” He said, and Ed nodded. “You are filthy.” He said, and Ed laughed. “No, you tied yourself up!” he said, narrowing his eyes. “And emailed me pictures!” he said, then looked him up and down. “Oh God, it’s been too long.” He said, then shoved Ed down. He shoved Ed’s arms up over his head, making Ed laugh.
“I like the rope. It’s so soft.” Ed said wiggling his wrists. “It’s like… I figured you might enjoy a bit of kinky but… I kinda like how this feels against my skin.” He said, biting his bottom lip with mischievous eyes. “And the sheets. I’ve sorta been rolling around in them.” He said, giggling. “I’m so damn sensitive to touch.” He said, sighing.
Alex smirked. “Oh trust me, love, I know.” He said, kissing him sweetly. He trailed his fingers down from Ed’s hands to his ribs slowly, looking into his eyes the whole time. He gently caressed his sides, eliciting a whimper. He smiled sweetly as Ed’s eyes fluttered shut, long lashes batting. He pressed his fingertips into his belly, smiling at how soft Ed’s body was. His skin was like silk and his middle was fleshy and warm. He raised up on his knees, kissing Ed’s fingertips, his palms, and then he focused on kissing down his left arm. He ducked in to kiss his throat, happy when Ed craned his neck, letting him. “So beautiful.” Alex whispered, earning a soft sigh from Ed. He pulled back and kissed his chest. “I’ve missed how your skin tastes.” Alex said, earning a groan from Ed, especially when he lapped at Ed’s nipple.
Alex’s hands slid down Ed’s sides, smiling when Ed’s skin broke out in goose bumps. “You’ve got a curvy waist and little love handles.” He said, sliding down to kiss them. He kissed Ed’s middle, doing a full circle around his belly button. He kissed lower, earning a strained whine.
“Alex, please!” Ed whimpered, only to groan when Alex pressed a kiss to the base of his erection then passed it, heading to his lip. Alex slid his hands down the outsides of Ed’s legs, only to look up as he slid his hands back up his inner thighs. Ed looked down, bottom lip between his teeth as he watched Alex’s hands creeping up his thighs. He moaned as his fingertips brushed Ed’s balls. “Alex, please.” He said, whining softly. “Alex, I-“ Ed gasped as Alex shoved his legs up, knees to his middle. “Oh!” he gasped.
Alex smirked sliding between his knees. “Ah, what was that, Eddie?” he asked, only to dip down, kissing Ed solidly, moaning into the kiss as he stroked Ed’s body.
“Alex, lube.” Ed said, and Alex sat back, looking around. He leaned over and found the bottle on the floor. Alex sat up and smiled as he opened the bottle and squirted some into his hand. “Hmm, you need to hurry.” Ed said, arching his back. “It’s been so long.” He moaned, hooking his legs around Alex’s thighs.
Alex chuckled. “Almost a month, yeah.” He said, kissing Ed as he stroked his entrance teasingly, not breeching him yet. Ed glared at him so Alex gave him what he wanted. Ed’s eyes widened, then he moaned, body arching deliciously. Alex was enraptured with Ed’s beauty. His thick, dark hair was fanned out beneath him on the red sheets. “Ed.” He whispered, leaning down to kiss him. “You’re so beautiful.” Alex brushed a kiss to his chin, then his haw, then his throat.
Ed whimpered. “Alex, please, I need you.” He said, and Alex could tell his body was already thrumming. Alex kissed him deeply, reaching down between them to slick himself with lube. He pulled back and looked down to line up. “Yes, oh God!” Ed moaned as Alex pressed in, his length disappearing into Ed’s body.
“Love you.” Alex moaned, groaning at how tight Ed was around him. He kissed his jaw, moaning as he thrust into him.
Ed nodded. “God, you too, love you too.” He said, looking up at Alex. Alex smiled, stroking Ed’s cheek as they looked into each other’s eyes. “Alex-“ he panted. “You’re so- so important to me.” He admitted, and Alex smiled, kissing him.
“I know you’re important to me.” He said. Ed rearranged his legs to curl around Alex, his back arching when Alex hit the right spot. Alex bit his lip and reached up to grab his arms. He adjusted where the knots were and pulled Ed’s arms around, wrapping them around his neck. Ed smiled up at him lovingly, putting his fingers in Alex’s messy hair. Alex smiled down at him. “I love you.” He said, kissing Ed firmly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ed smiled, kissing Alex softly. “That was incredible.” He said for the thousandth time, still wearing his wrist tied together as he now lay beside Alex, bodies twisted together.
Alex smiled, pressing their foreheads together. “You are.” He said, then sighed. “Come on, out of this.” He pulled Ed’s arms from around him and untied them. He tossed the rope as Ed wrapped his arms around him even tighter, kissing him again. He rolled onto his back, smiling when Ed settled on top of him. “Thank you.” He said softly, pushing his fingers though thick, fluffy, wavy black hair.
Ed frowned. “What’s that for?” he asked.
“You are single handedly making me better.” Alex said, sliding his arms around the small of Ed’s back. “I’m far from fixed, and I’m sure I’ll never be able to take care of myself for shit, but in the short time we’ve been dealing with this schedule thing you’ve managed to make me eat even when I didn’t want to.” He said, smiling. “And you’re really good at distracting me.” He said, making Ed blush.
“Don’t expect kinky sex photos too often.” He said and Alex laughed, shaking his head.
“I don’t mean photos darling.” He said, stroking his cheek. “I mean just… you.” He said. “You are the love of my life, Edward Jun Minton, and I promise you that if I didn’t have you, I’d probably die in a month.” He said, kissing his jaw. “Even before I fell into this obsessive perfective state I’ve had the last six months or so, I’m useless without you.” He said. “I can’t feed myself, I’d get lost in a kitchen. I can’t pack my own bags without you making sure I pack useful things.” He said. He snickered. “When you were gone my mum considered killing me just so she didn’t have to hear me whine about how ‘this coffee is wrong, Ed always makes it this way’ and stuff.” He said, chuckling. He held the back of Ed’s head in his hand. “I need you every day for the rest of my life.” He said tenderly.
Ed smiled. “You more than have me, Alex.” He said, pressing his lips to Alex’s forehead. “I realize it’s only been a short while, but I’m pretty sure that we can make this eating schedule work.” He said. “And I know we’ll fight and I might even hit you some. I’m sure you’ll stop eating again and it will make me cry again.” He said, then smiled widely as he kissed Alex’s head. “But no matter what, I’m always here when you need me. Even if I punch you in the face for being an asshole, I still love you.” He said, kissing Alex’s cheek sweetly.
Ed smiled and curled into Alex’s side, head lying on Alex’s chest. He had one hand rested on Alex’s middle, biting his lip as he counted his ribs. It was painful to really look at how thin Alex was, but he also knew he was getting better slowly. Alex had his arm around him, hand resting on Ed’s back. Alex looked down and raised his other hand to pluck at Ed’s hair. “Eddie?” he asked, stroking his back.
Ed hummed, eyes fluttering sleepily. “Uh-huh?” he mumbled and Alex smiled, biting his lip.
“Eddie, you wanna get married?” he asked softly, looking down at the top of his head.
Ed’s hand stopped. Alex felt him stiffen before quickly looking up, pushing up on to his elbow. “What?!” he asked, eyes wide.
Alex bit his lip. “Will you, Edward Jun Minton, marry me?” he asked, reaching up to cup Ed’s cheek with his hand.
Ed blinked. “Why?” he asked blankly.
Alex frowned. “Um… cause I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you?” he asked, chest constricting at the thought Ed would say no. “Ed… please?” he asked.
Ed just shook his head. “Oh no- yeah.” He laughed, and kissed Alex’s chin. “Oh my God, of course!” he said, laughing. “I’m sorry, I just… it shocked me, of course I’ll marry you.” He said, and Alex smiled.
“Really?” he asked, and Ed nodded, a beam spreading across his face. “Like, seriously you wanna marry me?!” Alex said, laughing happily.
Ed nodded, kissing him. “Oh my God, Alex!” he laughed, smiling down at him. He sat up, straddling Alex, who caught his hands. “I love you.” He said, beaming down at him.
Alex pulled him back in to kiss him soundly. “I love you more.” He said, rolling them over. He stroked Ed’s hair back from his face, smiling giddily. “Oh Ed.” He sighed, then kissed him softly. “You’re so beautiful.” He said, smiling down into his wide, happy eyes.
Ed looked up into beautiful blue eyes and smiled again. “You are too.” He said, placing a hand on Alex’s scruffy cheek.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Epilogue:
“This is the worst idea ever.” Dan said, eyes wide in horror.
Teddy thumped him. “Shut up, they’re getting MARRIED!”
Ali took on a silly face and voice. “Awww, the wittle babykins are getting MAAAWWEIIIIIDD!”
Ed kicked Ali as he walked over and sat down beside Alex, handing him a cup of tea. “Shut up. And Dan, why is it a bad idea?” He asked.
Dan shrugged. “The band?” he said pointedly.
Alex shrugged. “We’ve been living together since before we were together and we’ve been together for years.” He said. “Besides, Eddie’s getting old, it’s about time he settles down and gets married. No more flirting around with other men behind my back.” He said, winking at Ed, who shot him the bird.
“I’m just making an honest woman out of you, Davies.” He said, smiling at him playfully.
Ali cringed. “Ew, I didn’t wanna know Alex likes it up the bum.” He said, and Ed snickered.
“Oh we both do, I’m the one that’s a housewife.” He joked, and Alex smiled. “My Lexington needs me.” He said, reaching out to slide his fingers through Alex’s hair. Alex smiled and turned to look at him tenderly.
Teddy and Dan both groaned. “God, not the girly romance.” Dan said,
“So damn sappy.” Teddy said, earning a laugh from Ali.
“Oh right, like you didn’t cuddle me in your sleep that time-“
“Oh, fuck off, I was ASLEEP and cold!”
“You had a fucking erection, Ed Hetherton, you wanted to bum me!”
“DID NOT!”
Alex just snorted and turned to Ed, who was laughing at their friends. Alex watched the bright smile that lit up Ed’s eyes and knew that no matter how much they argued, no matter if they fought, no matter if he still had eating problems, and no matter how much he made Ed cry when he refused to eat, Ed loved him. Ed loved him for whatever reason and he was the luckiest bastard in the world.
Alex took a sip of his tea as he gazed at Ed and knew marrying him would be the best decision he ever made.