you know...
I complain about being fat and out of shape....
but if i REALLY wanted to, i could do something about it. I'm just fucking lazy!
I swore that i'd never eat what i ate for dinner tonight, but i was SO mad i ate and LOVED it...
I ate a Big Mac AND the medium fries!
I have never done that. That was the 6th (i think) big mac i've had in my whole life and it was fucking GOOD!
...if i wanted to be healthy, i'd MAKE myself eat like my mother. The woman has lost like.. 40 lbs in the last few years! Yeah, i know you think 'thats like... only tenlbs a year?!' but ALL she did was become more conscientious of her sodium intake and stopped eating much fried food!
... Now, i dont like fried food, and i dont like tons of sweet stuff...
but i love me some salty shit... and i'm totally KILLING myself with caffeine.
But like... today she was gone shopping and i was hungry, so i ate one of her 'healthy choice' microwave meals, because the healthy choice ones i get are good... just not enough to fill me up for long (l get chicken parmisean and its like.. a piece of chicken and pasta about the size of my hand... TOGETHER with nasty ass carrots and broccoli... carrots KILL delicious brocolli cause cooked carrots are gross)
but anyways, i ate her 'healthy choice' salisbury steak with roasted potatoes...
EWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!
I ate healthy choice alright!... i hate to FORCE it down and i was so disgusted i didn't get hungry again..
but then i ate a cupcake when she got home...
and an assload of gummi worms waiting for my friends (long story short, they kept telling me to wait and wait to go out with them... then ditched me and my mom turned off her phone and it was 10pm before she called and i was so mad and starving that i got her to get me the bigmac combo with a diet coke and the medium fries instead of large) and THEN ate that fucking 50 something grams of fat and like... 1000 calories!
... I keep complaining about all the weight i've gained (probably like... ten lbs since i graduated, NOT lying! Everybody says 'you dont look it' but i can feel it. My bad ankle can SURE feel it... i probably weight like... 205 or 210 now... i just wont get on a scale and depress myself like that!) but if i really wanted to get healthy, i could MAKE myself not eat when i get hungry, or make myself eat that nasty shit my mom eats...
But instead, i eat microwave pasta with like... half the sodium you should have in a whole day, and then drink NOTHING but diet coke and coffee...
Lmao, its hilarious, my eye doctor yesterday asked me 'whoa, do you drink a lot of caffeine?' and i was all '...sometiems...' and he said 'cause your pupils are HUGE!' and i felt guilty... and then went and had a iced latte with like... 3 shots of espresso afterwards. I'm not hyperactive, and i dont get headaches or anything...
i dont have any negative effects from teh caffeine YET...
but God, my heart will probably die early from all the caffeine i get.
Hell, put it this way, if i drank REGULAR full sugar soda like i do my diet sodas and coffee... i'd probably be 230 or so.
I want to lose weight... but not enough to do stuff i dont want to do.
if i could afford it? i'd go join a gym. I can walk and walk and walk for years if its cool and i have music... but in Georgia? it's NEVER cool and i cant walk by myself (my dad's orders) and i have nobody to walk with me more than like... once every few weeks! I have walked like... four miles nonstop in nice weather and it DOES NOT bother me at all...
i just dont like anything thats boring! I cannot sit idle or it kills me! SLEEP feels like wasted time to me!
Stupid situps/crunches hurt my butt on the floor, i dont have the arm strength to do pushups, and i cant run or jump in place or anything in the house. Someone suggested yoga, but i just... its BORING! I tried! It's a GREAT work out, i had to do it when my back was hurting (my upper back muscles are too weak to support the weight of my obnoxiously huge boobs and it hurts like fuck and makes me HATE having boobs sometimes) and its just so damn BORING! I mean... people are all 'its so peaceful and calming!' .... i dont NEED peaceful and calming! I sit in a computer chair all day for christ sakes! I go to the coffee shop and to run errands and thats IT! Any more peace and calm and i'll go NUTTY!
Yeah, its a good work out, but its boring as fuck.
Dance, i LOVE dance... but i cant afford to take dance class! Clay is paying like... $20 per CLASS for dance!!! I mean, DUDE!!! My dad knows how to get in shape, you go to the gym, work out, lift some weights, then run some... but he cant do it anymore, cause its to expensive, and what he had achieved is all but LOST, cause he's gained a good 20lbs back in less than a year after he stopped going!
I know i've got to figure SOMETHING out, but my parents get bitchy when i step too heavy in this house, cause the floors are built where you can feel vibrations all over the house, and i have nothing else to do! I want to go walking, just me and my MP3 player... but my parents are paranoid (mostly my dad) that any time i step outside even in broad daylight and walk down the sidewalk im gonna get gunned down by crackheads (that's happened ONE TIME IN THE HISTORY OF THIS CITY!) or something. Seriously, my dad's suggestion was 'you can go walking if you get up at 6:30am and go... cause then the druggies and crack heads are passed out from the party the night before.'
... yeah... but i cant go walking in broad daylight down a BUSY street...
whatever.
but if i REALLY wanted to, i could do something about it. I'm just fucking lazy!
I swore that i'd never eat what i ate for dinner tonight, but i was SO mad i ate and LOVED it...
I ate a Big Mac AND the medium fries!
I have never done that. That was the 6th (i think) big mac i've had in my whole life and it was fucking GOOD!
...if i wanted to be healthy, i'd MAKE myself eat like my mother. The woman has lost like.. 40 lbs in the last few years! Yeah, i know you think 'thats like... only tenlbs a year?!' but ALL she did was become more conscientious of her sodium intake and stopped eating much fried food!
... Now, i dont like fried food, and i dont like tons of sweet stuff...
but i love me some salty shit... and i'm totally KILLING myself with caffeine.
But like... today she was gone shopping and i was hungry, so i ate one of her 'healthy choice' microwave meals, because the healthy choice ones i get are good... just not enough to fill me up for long (l get chicken parmisean and its like.. a piece of chicken and pasta about the size of my hand... TOGETHER with nasty ass carrots and broccoli... carrots KILL delicious brocolli cause cooked carrots are gross)
but anyways, i ate her 'healthy choice' salisbury steak with roasted potatoes...
EWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!
I ate healthy choice alright!... i hate to FORCE it down and i was so disgusted i didn't get hungry again..
but then i ate a cupcake when she got home...
and an assload of gummi worms waiting for my friends (long story short, they kept telling me to wait and wait to go out with them... then ditched me and my mom turned off her phone and it was 10pm before she called and i was so mad and starving that i got her to get me the bigmac combo with a diet coke and the medium fries instead of large) and THEN ate that fucking 50 something grams of fat and like... 1000 calories!
... I keep complaining about all the weight i've gained (probably like... ten lbs since i graduated, NOT lying! Everybody says 'you dont look it' but i can feel it. My bad ankle can SURE feel it... i probably weight like... 205 or 210 now... i just wont get on a scale and depress myself like that!) but if i really wanted to get healthy, i could MAKE myself not eat when i get hungry, or make myself eat that nasty shit my mom eats...
But instead, i eat microwave pasta with like... half the sodium you should have in a whole day, and then drink NOTHING but diet coke and coffee...
Lmao, its hilarious, my eye doctor yesterday asked me 'whoa, do you drink a lot of caffeine?' and i was all '...sometiems...' and he said 'cause your pupils are HUGE!' and i felt guilty... and then went and had a iced latte with like... 3 shots of espresso afterwards. I'm not hyperactive, and i dont get headaches or anything...
i dont have any negative effects from teh caffeine YET...
but God, my heart will probably die early from all the caffeine i get.
Hell, put it this way, if i drank REGULAR full sugar soda like i do my diet sodas and coffee... i'd probably be 230 or so.
I want to lose weight... but not enough to do stuff i dont want to do.
if i could afford it? i'd go join a gym. I can walk and walk and walk for years if its cool and i have music... but in Georgia? it's NEVER cool and i cant walk by myself (my dad's orders) and i have nobody to walk with me more than like... once every few weeks! I have walked like... four miles nonstop in nice weather and it DOES NOT bother me at all...
i just dont like anything thats boring! I cannot sit idle or it kills me! SLEEP feels like wasted time to me!
Stupid situps/crunches hurt my butt on the floor, i dont have the arm strength to do pushups, and i cant run or jump in place or anything in the house. Someone suggested yoga, but i just... its BORING! I tried! It's a GREAT work out, i had to do it when my back was hurting (my upper back muscles are too weak to support the weight of my obnoxiously huge boobs and it hurts like fuck and makes me HATE having boobs sometimes) and its just so damn BORING! I mean... people are all 'its so peaceful and calming!' .... i dont NEED peaceful and calming! I sit in a computer chair all day for christ sakes! I go to the coffee shop and to run errands and thats IT! Any more peace and calm and i'll go NUTTY!
Yeah, its a good work out, but its boring as fuck.
Dance, i LOVE dance... but i cant afford to take dance class! Clay is paying like... $20 per CLASS for dance!!! I mean, DUDE!!! My dad knows how to get in shape, you go to the gym, work out, lift some weights, then run some... but he cant do it anymore, cause its to expensive, and what he had achieved is all but LOST, cause he's gained a good 20lbs back in less than a year after he stopped going!
I know i've got to figure SOMETHING out, but my parents get bitchy when i step too heavy in this house, cause the floors are built where you can feel vibrations all over the house, and i have nothing else to do! I want to go walking, just me and my MP3 player... but my parents are paranoid (mostly my dad) that any time i step outside even in broad daylight and walk down the sidewalk im gonna get gunned down by crackheads (that's happened ONE TIME IN THE HISTORY OF THIS CITY!) or something. Seriously, my dad's suggestion was 'you can go walking if you get up at 6:30am and go... cause then the druggies and crack heads are passed out from the party the night before.'
... yeah... but i cant go walking in broad daylight down a BUSY street...
whatever.