The Boys of Summer - Chapter 10
alright, my mum is on holiday .. two weeks of bliss have officially begun.
and i have a ticket for mcfly in birmingham!
it feels like all i seem to spend money on currently is mcfly .. oh wait, that's actually the case, haha!
right .. story .. yeah.
Title: The Boys of Summer
Author: me
Rating: PG-13
Chapter: 10/16
Genre: AU - Romance
Pairing: Poynter/Judd yet again
Summary: Harry settles into his new life … A phonecall … And Danny gets introduced to the story …
Disclaimer: me no own, this no true
Dedication: to everyone who read and commented on the previous chapter … orpheous87, syphilisparade, bffimagine, juddpoynter, danni1112, skeleton_addict, stfoosa, beckystark06, foreverlove_xx, livwickedd, juuanna, jedisnickers, armillarysphere, iiriz, the_first_chibi, star55, man_10_az, iheartdougie, juweel, dictionary1, elphee, ivebeenburgled, andine_mcfly, roguecharmedone and seeingstars27
Author’s note: Meh, this chapter is lame … nothing happens.
Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Being apart from Dougie was easier than Harry thought it would be. He sure missed him, a lot at that, but it wasn’t that he was in emotional pain like he expected it to be. He blamed it on the fact that getting accustomed to his new sourroundings had distracted him well enough though. Everything was just so different from what he was used to and pretty much every day was somewhat filled with new things and experiences.
His days suddenly had a new routine. He couldn’t stay in bed in the mornings for as long as he wanted, knowing he could make it to his lessons in less than five minutes. Now he needed to actually get up when his alarm went off. He had to get dressed, have at least a bit of breakfast (Joanne would not let him leave the house without it) before he had to go and get the bus to school. He easily could have taken his car but taking the bus seemed more ‘normal’ to him. The car was for his spare time. Besides, he saved a lot of money because he didn’t have to get petrol so often. Money he could use for seeing Dougie and spoiling him the way he deserved.
Living with Thomas and Joanne was a pleasant change as well. Tom was too much his big brother to actually replace a parent, letting a lot of things slide for Harry that hadn’t been possible before, like staying up late on a school night or having a few drinks on the weekends. If one took the parental part it was Joanne. She made sure that Harry ate and slept enough, did his homework and always had clean clothes in his wardrobe.
The school Harry now went to also was like a breeze of fresh hair. Sure, he had gotten odd looks when the rumours made the round that he was gay and came from a posh boarding school and a ‘loaded’ backround. Harry couldn’t be bothered about what people thought about him though. They either accepted him the way he was or they didn’t, simple as that. Most people didn’t care though. They were, like Harry, in their last year, so they had other things to worry about than the ‘posh gay boy’.
Harry found a friend quite soon too. In his first lunch-break at school he was approached by a boy he had seen in a few of his classes. His name was Danny Jones. He was, same as Harry, new to the school, having moved from the north due to a new job of his father. Danny was, in all fairness, not the smartest but he was really laid-back and nothing seemed to bother him at all. He just mingled his way through things, with less effort as possible, but still getting exactly what he wanted in the end.
Harry had also found a job rather quickly. Danny worked in a supermarket and had somehow talked the shop’s manager into hiring Harry as well. It was rather dull since he mainly stocked shelves but the money was good and he had Danny around which turned out to be very entertaining since not only Danny was an idiot, he was a clumsy idiot too, always knocking something over or bumping into things.
One thing was always the same though. No matter what day it was and no matter how new everything seemed to Harry. At the end of each day, Harry found himself in his new bedroom, which walls he had decorated with posters and pictures, talking on the phone to Dougie. Each night they spoke for hours, until they almost fell asleep with the phone in their hands.
“How were things today?” Harry asked on a Friday, a week before the two would be re-united for the first time.
“Ah well, same old. Place is a fucking hellhole. What about you?”
“I risked being fired cos I was literally this close to kill Danny today.”
Dougie laughed. “Again? What did he do this time?”
“Right, I have set up a huge pyramid of soup-cans today. And literally two minutes after I had put the last one on top and put the ladder aside, Danny came over, gesturing to some, I quote, ‘fit blonde bird’, who had just walked in.”
“Oh no …” Dougie muttered, guessing what was about to come.
“Oh yes. While gesturing the idiot somehow managed to hit right his arm into my pyramid. It took me an hour and a half to get the damn thing up and he destroyed half of it in two seconds!”
Despite not meaning to, Dougie burst out in laughter.
“Hey! A bit more pity please.”
“Sorry.” Dougie chuckled.
“Looking back, it was quite funny. Especially when said ‘fit blonde bird’ came strolling over, casually handed Danny a can and went, ‘You know honey, next time you better stick to the staring and drooling.’ before leaving. Danny’s face was classic. He could’ve hidden in the middle of the tomatoes and no one would’ve noticed. Plus, he got some nice bruises cos some cans fell onto him. Karma is a bitch apparently.”
Dougie laughed again. “Priceless! Make sure to introduce me to him when I come over. I have to meet that guy.”
“Yeah. I’ll make sure he won’t touch you, though. I’m quite surprised he didn’t kill himself or me yet. Anyway, no more Danny-talk, everything’s fine at yours? School’s alright?”
“Well, kind of. I don’t know. This week’s been all about catching up. You know, who did what in summer. Who had gotten it on with who, who’s still together, who isn’t. That sort of stuff. Thankfully, that left everyone too busy to remember they still have me to gossip about. But just wait until everyone’s done with it. I’ll be center of attention in no time. On Monday I suppose, Tuesday at the latest.”
“You afraid?”
“Not much really. I mean, what can I do? I have to go to school and all. And it’s not like it’s anything new, is it? They’re gonna give me the same crap I’ve been getting before the summer.”
Dougie sighed again before they both paused, neither knowing what to say.
“Sam and Jazzie okay and all?” Harry asked, hoping to bring a lighter note to their conversation.
“They’re both excited. Sometimes I think they’re worse than me. Jazzie’s all like, ‘I can’t believe he’s actually coming over!’, totally bouncing off the walls. She insits to go shopping tomorrow to get some new clothes just for your visit. If I didn’t know better I’d say you’re her boyfriend and not mine.”
“I can assure you I’m not.”
Dougie giggled. “Good, I was just checking. But seriously, it’s great to see her smile. She’s still a bit thrown-off and all.”
“What, still?”
Harry remembered Dougie telling him when they first spoke to each other after Dougie had arrived at home as well that Jazzie was in a rather foul mood. Apparently, that hadn’t changed much over the past days.
“Yeah. But now I finally know why.”
“Why?”
“She and her boyfriend split up.”
“Shit. What happened?”
“She won’t say. She didn’t even tell me they split up. Imagine my face when I wandered down the street from the bus-stop today and saw him shoving his tongue down the throat of a girl that definetely wasn’t Jazzie.”
“What an idiot.”
“Yeah. I couldn’t resist giving him a shove as I walked by. I was round the next corner before he realised someone shoved him. But it was all accidentally of course.”
“Of course.” Harry smiled.
“So when she came home I told her about the whole thing and then she said that they split up and that they’ve gotten into a fight. She wouldn’t tell me anything else though, why they fought or anything. I have an idea though.”
“Which is …?”
“Cause … because of me.”
“Why would it be because of you?”
“Well, I’m not exactly talk of the town. Or well, I am but for the wrong reasons. Being seen with me puts you back in the social chain. And with Jazzie being my sister and all … I mean, her boyfriend’s kind of big news around here, big boss of the local gang, and he must’ve gotten loads of ‘Hey, aren’t you dating faggot’s sister?’ and rubbish like that. And so he dumped Jazzie to stop it. And I know her, she wouldn’t have let him get away with it and so they fought. It’s a shame though. I mean, he was her first proper boyfriend and aside from him being an utter arse, she was so happy because she finally had a boyfriend. And now this.” Dougie sighed. “It sucks. I mean, by now I’m used to being treated like shit. But it’s not fair to take it all out on Jazzie too. She can’t change the fact she’s my little sister. And what does me being gay have to do with her anyway? She’s just my sister, she didn’t turn me gay or anything. I’m so glad she’s not on my school, it’d be hell for her there.”
“I’m sorry Dougie.” Harry said sympathetically, “People can be so dumb at times.”
“More than dumb. I mean, I just don’t get their bloody point. Aren’t they happy that they make my life a living hell? Do they have to do it to my sister too? And I have a feeling there’s much more about it, she just won’t tell me. I hate that!”
“She just wants to protect you I think.” Harry offered, “Doesn’t want to make you feel worse than you already are.”
“But I only feel bad because my little sister has to go through whatever shit because I’m gay. And she doesn’t talk to me about it and we used to talk about anything and everything. And that’s what hurts. That she doesn’t seem to trust me on it anymore.”
“Doesn’t that sound familiar to you?”
Dougie didn’t answer, knowing fully well what Harry was aiming at.
“She’s just like you. You told everyone you were okay too even though you weren’t.” Harry stated.
“That was different.”
“How so?”
“What would’ve changed for me if I told the truth? Everybody would’ve felt as horrible as me and whatnot. And it was just about me anyway. They’re my family, yeah, but that’s it. I am me with my thoughts and my feelings and I had to go through it myself. None of them was in my situation. None of them is gay. They could’ve been sympathetically all the way but they never would’ve gotten the whole thing because they’re simply not gay.”
“I get your point. But you know, maybe Jazzie feels the same way now. For her this is her own battle to fight. You’re right, it is because you’re gay. But see it this way, these are the people she knows. And maybe she thinks you can’t help her with it because you don’t know them the way she does. So, this is her and her thoughts and feelings. And now matter how understanding and helpful you will be, you won’t be able to get into her head same as she won’t be able to get into yours. You were in a situation like she is now. This time it’s just that instead of her not being you, you’re not being her.”
“Are you siding her?”
“I’m not siding anybody, don’t be silly. But I can understand her motives and all. I mean, she wants to protect you. You have to deal with enough shit as it is. She doesn’t wanna make it worse for you because she loves you.”
“You know … you’re getting that a little too well for my taste …”
A pause. Both boys listened to the sounds of the other one breathing through the phoneline. Dougie couldn’t get the idea out of his head that Harry was talking about something else and only used the situation with Jazzie to hide it.
“What’s the real deal here, Harry?” Dougie asked, breaking the silence.
“You know.” Harry paused and sighed. “Maybe it’d be for the better if I didn’t come over next weekend.”
“Are you insane?” Dougie protested, “You have to come! Why wouldn’t you?”
“Well, at the moment you have to get through so much with Jazzie. And everyone else has been so easy on you. If I came over … don’t you think it’d just get worse? For you and Jazzie?”
“How much worse could it get really, Harry? I’ve been called names, avoided like the plague and I’ve been beaten up. And since Jazzie won’t talk to me, I have to assume she can deal with it in her own way. You’ve just spent a good while telling me she has to get through it herself as well so leave her out of it. Besides, I know that sooner or later the crap is gonna start again for me too, no matter if you come over or not.”
“But what if me coming over makes it all so much worse?”
“It can’t get worse and even if it was, I really couldn’t care less, Harry. You’re coming over and that’s the end of it. I’ve been looking forward to your visit ever since you left last week. Knowing that you will be here soon gives me a reason to not go, ‘fuck all’ and lock myself up in my room. And haven’t you been missing me too?”
“Course I have. I miss you all the time. But I don’t want it to be my fault if you’ll end up with bruises just because I came over to see you. I don’t wanna get a rise out of all these people and them taking it all out on you once I left.”
“Are you embarrassed by the fact that we’re together?” Dougie asked, obviously hurt.
“No Dougie, I’m not. Of course I’m not.”
“Then why are you reacting like that?”
Harry let out a sigh. “Dougie, don’t you get it? I’m scared that something might happen to you. That things will get so much worse for you. Only because I came to visit you. I’ll never forgive myself if anything like that happened.”
“And don’t you get that it simply can’t get any worse? I’ve been through it, Harry. I know what to expect.”
“But I don’t, okay?” Harry said, his voice louder than he intended. He took a deep breath, calming himself down before he continued, “This is all new to me, Dougie. I never had to live with this before. I never had to fear that someone I love, the only person I really and truly love at that, might get beaten into a coma just because they’ve been seen holding hands with me. You might be able to deal with it but I am just so scared. Even if you’re just insulted one time more than usual I won’t forgive myself because I know it’ll be just because of me.” Harry chocked. He hadn’t even realised tears had come to his eyes.
“Harry …” Dougie said in almost a whisper, trying to comfort his boyfriend over the phone. Hearing Harry fighting back tears almost made him cry too and he wished he could crawl through the phoneline to hold Harry right now. But all he had was words so he used them. “It will be alright, you hear me? Nothing will happen. We’ll just stay inside the whole time if that’ll make you feel better. I admit, I would’ve loved wandering around holding hands with you, showing all those people that I’m in the perfect relationship with the perfect boyfriend. But if that makes you uncomfortable and scared, that’s alright. We’ll have the rest of our lives to show the world we love each other. Besides, staying inside doesn’t sound like that much of a bad idea, come to think of it.”
Despite his tears, Harry let out a low laugh. He sniffed, pulling himself back together. “Thanks, Dougie.”
“Nevermind. Now, are we done? Are you coming over?”
“Yeah.”
“Good. And I promise that it will be okay and nothing bad will happen. Well, maybe aside from Jazzie talking so much that your ears will start ringing.”
“I think I can live with that.”
“Don’t say that too soon.” Dougie chuckled, “Hey, as much as I’d love to keep talking to you and comfort you and all the good stuff, I need to go now. The women of the household wanna be off early for the shopping-trip tomorrow.”
“Alright then. Have fun. And pick something sexy for the nighttime. Pink would look good on you.”
“Haha, funny. Night Harry. I love you.”
“I love you too. Good night Dougie.”
To be continued …
Comments are appreciated.
and i have a ticket for mcfly in birmingham!
it feels like all i seem to spend money on currently is mcfly .. oh wait, that's actually the case, haha!
right .. story .. yeah.
Title: The Boys of Summer
Author: me
Rating: PG-13
Chapter: 10/16
Genre: AU - Romance
Pairing: Poynter/Judd yet again
Summary: Harry settles into his new life … A phonecall … And Danny gets introduced to the story …
Disclaimer: me no own, this no true
Dedication: to everyone who read and commented on the previous chapter … orpheous87, syphilisparade, bffimagine, juddpoynter, danni1112, skeleton_addict, stfoosa, beckystark06, foreverlove_xx, livwickedd, juuanna, jedisnickers, armillarysphere, iiriz, the_first_chibi, star55, man_10_az, iheartdougie, juweel, dictionary1, elphee, ivebeenburgled, andine_mcfly, roguecharmedone and seeingstars27
Author’s note: Meh, this chapter is lame … nothing happens.
Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Being apart from Dougie was easier than Harry thought it would be. He sure missed him, a lot at that, but it wasn’t that he was in emotional pain like he expected it to be. He blamed it on the fact that getting accustomed to his new sourroundings had distracted him well enough though. Everything was just so different from what he was used to and pretty much every day was somewhat filled with new things and experiences.
His days suddenly had a new routine. He couldn’t stay in bed in the mornings for as long as he wanted, knowing he could make it to his lessons in less than five minutes. Now he needed to actually get up when his alarm went off. He had to get dressed, have at least a bit of breakfast (Joanne would not let him leave the house without it) before he had to go and get the bus to school. He easily could have taken his car but taking the bus seemed more ‘normal’ to him. The car was for his spare time. Besides, he saved a lot of money because he didn’t have to get petrol so often. Money he could use for seeing Dougie and spoiling him the way he deserved.
Living with Thomas and Joanne was a pleasant change as well. Tom was too much his big brother to actually replace a parent, letting a lot of things slide for Harry that hadn’t been possible before, like staying up late on a school night or having a few drinks on the weekends. If one took the parental part it was Joanne. She made sure that Harry ate and slept enough, did his homework and always had clean clothes in his wardrobe.
The school Harry now went to also was like a breeze of fresh hair. Sure, he had gotten odd looks when the rumours made the round that he was gay and came from a posh boarding school and a ‘loaded’ backround. Harry couldn’t be bothered about what people thought about him though. They either accepted him the way he was or they didn’t, simple as that. Most people didn’t care though. They were, like Harry, in their last year, so they had other things to worry about than the ‘posh gay boy’.
Harry found a friend quite soon too. In his first lunch-break at school he was approached by a boy he had seen in a few of his classes. His name was Danny Jones. He was, same as Harry, new to the school, having moved from the north due to a new job of his father. Danny was, in all fairness, not the smartest but he was really laid-back and nothing seemed to bother him at all. He just mingled his way through things, with less effort as possible, but still getting exactly what he wanted in the end.
Harry had also found a job rather quickly. Danny worked in a supermarket and had somehow talked the shop’s manager into hiring Harry as well. It was rather dull since he mainly stocked shelves but the money was good and he had Danny around which turned out to be very entertaining since not only Danny was an idiot, he was a clumsy idiot too, always knocking something over or bumping into things.
One thing was always the same though. No matter what day it was and no matter how new everything seemed to Harry. At the end of each day, Harry found himself in his new bedroom, which walls he had decorated with posters and pictures, talking on the phone to Dougie. Each night they spoke for hours, until they almost fell asleep with the phone in their hands.
“How were things today?” Harry asked on a Friday, a week before the two would be re-united for the first time.
“Ah well, same old. Place is a fucking hellhole. What about you?”
“I risked being fired cos I was literally this close to kill Danny today.”
Dougie laughed. “Again? What did he do this time?”
“Right, I have set up a huge pyramid of soup-cans today. And literally two minutes after I had put the last one on top and put the ladder aside, Danny came over, gesturing to some, I quote, ‘fit blonde bird’, who had just walked in.”
“Oh no …” Dougie muttered, guessing what was about to come.
“Oh yes. While gesturing the idiot somehow managed to hit right his arm into my pyramid. It took me an hour and a half to get the damn thing up and he destroyed half of it in two seconds!”
Despite not meaning to, Dougie burst out in laughter.
“Hey! A bit more pity please.”
“Sorry.” Dougie chuckled.
“Looking back, it was quite funny. Especially when said ‘fit blonde bird’ came strolling over, casually handed Danny a can and went, ‘You know honey, next time you better stick to the staring and drooling.’ before leaving. Danny’s face was classic. He could’ve hidden in the middle of the tomatoes and no one would’ve noticed. Plus, he got some nice bruises cos some cans fell onto him. Karma is a bitch apparently.”
Dougie laughed again. “Priceless! Make sure to introduce me to him when I come over. I have to meet that guy.”
“Yeah. I’ll make sure he won’t touch you, though. I’m quite surprised he didn’t kill himself or me yet. Anyway, no more Danny-talk, everything’s fine at yours? School’s alright?”
“Well, kind of. I don’t know. This week’s been all about catching up. You know, who did what in summer. Who had gotten it on with who, who’s still together, who isn’t. That sort of stuff. Thankfully, that left everyone too busy to remember they still have me to gossip about. But just wait until everyone’s done with it. I’ll be center of attention in no time. On Monday I suppose, Tuesday at the latest.”
“You afraid?”
“Not much really. I mean, what can I do? I have to go to school and all. And it’s not like it’s anything new, is it? They’re gonna give me the same crap I’ve been getting before the summer.”
Dougie sighed again before they both paused, neither knowing what to say.
“Sam and Jazzie okay and all?” Harry asked, hoping to bring a lighter note to their conversation.
“They’re both excited. Sometimes I think they’re worse than me. Jazzie’s all like, ‘I can’t believe he’s actually coming over!’, totally bouncing off the walls. She insits to go shopping tomorrow to get some new clothes just for your visit. If I didn’t know better I’d say you’re her boyfriend and not mine.”
“I can assure you I’m not.”
Dougie giggled. “Good, I was just checking. But seriously, it’s great to see her smile. She’s still a bit thrown-off and all.”
“What, still?”
Harry remembered Dougie telling him when they first spoke to each other after Dougie had arrived at home as well that Jazzie was in a rather foul mood. Apparently, that hadn’t changed much over the past days.
“Yeah. But now I finally know why.”
“Why?”
“She and her boyfriend split up.”
“Shit. What happened?”
“She won’t say. She didn’t even tell me they split up. Imagine my face when I wandered down the street from the bus-stop today and saw him shoving his tongue down the throat of a girl that definetely wasn’t Jazzie.”
“What an idiot.”
“Yeah. I couldn’t resist giving him a shove as I walked by. I was round the next corner before he realised someone shoved him. But it was all accidentally of course.”
“Of course.” Harry smiled.
“So when she came home I told her about the whole thing and then she said that they split up and that they’ve gotten into a fight. She wouldn’t tell me anything else though, why they fought or anything. I have an idea though.”
“Which is …?”
“Cause … because of me.”
“Why would it be because of you?”
“Well, I’m not exactly talk of the town. Or well, I am but for the wrong reasons. Being seen with me puts you back in the social chain. And with Jazzie being my sister and all … I mean, her boyfriend’s kind of big news around here, big boss of the local gang, and he must’ve gotten loads of ‘Hey, aren’t you dating faggot’s sister?’ and rubbish like that. And so he dumped Jazzie to stop it. And I know her, she wouldn’t have let him get away with it and so they fought. It’s a shame though. I mean, he was her first proper boyfriend and aside from him being an utter arse, she was so happy because she finally had a boyfriend. And now this.” Dougie sighed. “It sucks. I mean, by now I’m used to being treated like shit. But it’s not fair to take it all out on Jazzie too. She can’t change the fact she’s my little sister. And what does me being gay have to do with her anyway? She’s just my sister, she didn’t turn me gay or anything. I’m so glad she’s not on my school, it’d be hell for her there.”
“I’m sorry Dougie.” Harry said sympathetically, “People can be so dumb at times.”
“More than dumb. I mean, I just don’t get their bloody point. Aren’t they happy that they make my life a living hell? Do they have to do it to my sister too? And I have a feeling there’s much more about it, she just won’t tell me. I hate that!”
“She just wants to protect you I think.” Harry offered, “Doesn’t want to make you feel worse than you already are.”
“But I only feel bad because my little sister has to go through whatever shit because I’m gay. And she doesn’t talk to me about it and we used to talk about anything and everything. And that’s what hurts. That she doesn’t seem to trust me on it anymore.”
“Doesn’t that sound familiar to you?”
Dougie didn’t answer, knowing fully well what Harry was aiming at.
“She’s just like you. You told everyone you were okay too even though you weren’t.” Harry stated.
“That was different.”
“How so?”
“What would’ve changed for me if I told the truth? Everybody would’ve felt as horrible as me and whatnot. And it was just about me anyway. They’re my family, yeah, but that’s it. I am me with my thoughts and my feelings and I had to go through it myself. None of them was in my situation. None of them is gay. They could’ve been sympathetically all the way but they never would’ve gotten the whole thing because they’re simply not gay.”
“I get your point. But you know, maybe Jazzie feels the same way now. For her this is her own battle to fight. You’re right, it is because you’re gay. But see it this way, these are the people she knows. And maybe she thinks you can’t help her with it because you don’t know them the way she does. So, this is her and her thoughts and feelings. And now matter how understanding and helpful you will be, you won’t be able to get into her head same as she won’t be able to get into yours. You were in a situation like she is now. This time it’s just that instead of her not being you, you’re not being her.”
“Are you siding her?”
“I’m not siding anybody, don’t be silly. But I can understand her motives and all. I mean, she wants to protect you. You have to deal with enough shit as it is. She doesn’t wanna make it worse for you because she loves you.”
“You know … you’re getting that a little too well for my taste …”
A pause. Both boys listened to the sounds of the other one breathing through the phoneline. Dougie couldn’t get the idea out of his head that Harry was talking about something else and only used the situation with Jazzie to hide it.
“What’s the real deal here, Harry?” Dougie asked, breaking the silence.
“You know.” Harry paused and sighed. “Maybe it’d be for the better if I didn’t come over next weekend.”
“Are you insane?” Dougie protested, “You have to come! Why wouldn’t you?”
“Well, at the moment you have to get through so much with Jazzie. And everyone else has been so easy on you. If I came over … don’t you think it’d just get worse? For you and Jazzie?”
“How much worse could it get really, Harry? I’ve been called names, avoided like the plague and I’ve been beaten up. And since Jazzie won’t talk to me, I have to assume she can deal with it in her own way. You’ve just spent a good while telling me she has to get through it herself as well so leave her out of it. Besides, I know that sooner or later the crap is gonna start again for me too, no matter if you come over or not.”
“But what if me coming over makes it all so much worse?”
“It can’t get worse and even if it was, I really couldn’t care less, Harry. You’re coming over and that’s the end of it. I’ve been looking forward to your visit ever since you left last week. Knowing that you will be here soon gives me a reason to not go, ‘fuck all’ and lock myself up in my room. And haven’t you been missing me too?”
“Course I have. I miss you all the time. But I don’t want it to be my fault if you’ll end up with bruises just because I came over to see you. I don’t wanna get a rise out of all these people and them taking it all out on you once I left.”
“Are you embarrassed by the fact that we’re together?” Dougie asked, obviously hurt.
“No Dougie, I’m not. Of course I’m not.”
“Then why are you reacting like that?”
Harry let out a sigh. “Dougie, don’t you get it? I’m scared that something might happen to you. That things will get so much worse for you. Only because I came to visit you. I’ll never forgive myself if anything like that happened.”
“And don’t you get that it simply can’t get any worse? I’ve been through it, Harry. I know what to expect.”
“But I don’t, okay?” Harry said, his voice louder than he intended. He took a deep breath, calming himself down before he continued, “This is all new to me, Dougie. I never had to live with this before. I never had to fear that someone I love, the only person I really and truly love at that, might get beaten into a coma just because they’ve been seen holding hands with me. You might be able to deal with it but I am just so scared. Even if you’re just insulted one time more than usual I won’t forgive myself because I know it’ll be just because of me.” Harry chocked. He hadn’t even realised tears had come to his eyes.
“Harry …” Dougie said in almost a whisper, trying to comfort his boyfriend over the phone. Hearing Harry fighting back tears almost made him cry too and he wished he could crawl through the phoneline to hold Harry right now. But all he had was words so he used them. “It will be alright, you hear me? Nothing will happen. We’ll just stay inside the whole time if that’ll make you feel better. I admit, I would’ve loved wandering around holding hands with you, showing all those people that I’m in the perfect relationship with the perfect boyfriend. But if that makes you uncomfortable and scared, that’s alright. We’ll have the rest of our lives to show the world we love each other. Besides, staying inside doesn’t sound like that much of a bad idea, come to think of it.”
Despite his tears, Harry let out a low laugh. He sniffed, pulling himself back together. “Thanks, Dougie.”
“Nevermind. Now, are we done? Are you coming over?”
“Yeah.”
“Good. And I promise that it will be okay and nothing bad will happen. Well, maybe aside from Jazzie talking so much that your ears will start ringing.”
“I think I can live with that.”
“Don’t say that too soon.” Dougie chuckled, “Hey, as much as I’d love to keep talking to you and comfort you and all the good stuff, I need to go now. The women of the household wanna be off early for the shopping-trip tomorrow.”
“Alright then. Have fun. And pick something sexy for the nighttime. Pink would look good on you.”
“Haha, funny. Night Harry. I love you.”
“I love you too. Good night Dougie.”
To be continued …
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