(no subject)
Death Cab for Cutie saves my soul sometimes...
I'm not so sure where I'm at right now. My head has been spinning, sleep has not come so easy. I'm standing before a great decision, scared that I may regret one choice or the other. I've taken it upon myself to realize what I need to do, but I've just been feeling so lost lately. Almost as if there's no purpose anymore. It seems the only thing that makes sense to me anymore is art-making, so I've been trying to become completely immersed in it. I'm not so sure that I've been successful.
There have been so many emotions whirling around inside me lately. Could be the lack of sufficient sleep, I suppose. I've tried to forget about some things, tried to let go. It's hard, and sometimes the frustration is overwhelming. I'm not even sure why I'm frustrated. Fear, stress, excitement- these are all perfectly normal to be feeling. But frustration? I don't really understand it.
I wish so much I could be a better person. I wish I could be stronger. Maybe that's what I'm looking for right now- that strength inside me. The strength to do what's right for me.
Sometimes the lack of affection brings me down. Some days I'm not so sure I believe in love anymore. Or more accurately, that I don't believe love exists for everyone. Then sometimes I'm confident about the future, that I'll find what I'm looking for. And sometimes I look back, and become angry at myself for it.
I've just been all over the place lately. I need to focus. I need to figure things out. I need to sleep.
I'm not so sure where I'm at right now. My head has been spinning, sleep has not come so easy. I'm standing before a great decision, scared that I may regret one choice or the other. I've taken it upon myself to realize what I need to do, but I've just been feeling so lost lately. Almost as if there's no purpose anymore. It seems the only thing that makes sense to me anymore is art-making, so I've been trying to become completely immersed in it. I'm not so sure that I've been successful.
There have been so many emotions whirling around inside me lately. Could be the lack of sufficient sleep, I suppose. I've tried to forget about some things, tried to let go. It's hard, and sometimes the frustration is overwhelming. I'm not even sure why I'm frustrated. Fear, stress, excitement- these are all perfectly normal to be feeling. But frustration? I don't really understand it.
I wish so much I could be a better person. I wish I could be stronger. Maybe that's what I'm looking for right now- that strength inside me. The strength to do what's right for me.
Sometimes the lack of affection brings me down. Some days I'm not so sure I believe in love anymore. Or more accurately, that I don't believe love exists for everyone. Then sometimes I'm confident about the future, that I'll find what I'm looking for. And sometimes I look back, and become angry at myself for it.
I've just been all over the place lately. I need to focus. I need to figure things out. I need to sleep.