she doesn't quite know how to say how she feels [[ota, but tag to Wash]]
There's too many conflicting feelings going on for Zoe to be comfortable. She doesn't like that someone else's fight came here though she'll participate. She'll protect what's hers and that's what she did. And she comes out of it mostly unscathed except for a cut on her shoulder that's all scabbed over now and likely won't even leave a scar.
But she's fought in a war. Done her time with grenades, C-4, and guns, watching people go down helplessly. Since Saturday, when she does manage to get to sleep, she sees Bendis and explosions, and Wash on occasion instead of Bendis. Sometimes she even wakes up with the smell of Serenity Valley in her nose; blood and decay and dirt, and she goes to Maya to hold her. Breathe in her soft baby scent. She figures the dreams about Wash are courtesy of her conversation with Mal, telling him about everything, not dealing with emotions properly afterward.
Point is, she doesn't want a part of someone else's fight. But when it comes to keeping the people she cares about safe, she trusts herself to take care of business. She's been tense, freezing at a door slamming down the hall, going around corners wide so she can't be surprised, falling into habits that never really go away once you've seen combat.
Maya's dozing in her bassinet that Zoe's dragged to the living room to be easily see from the kitchen where she's sitting. All of her guns are in front of her, and she's going through them, one by one, cleaning. A short glass of whiskey is next to her but mostly untouched. The smell of it and a few sips is enough. She's looking at the clock every now and again, trying not to message Wash the instant it goes past five when he's supposed to be home.
But she's fought in a war. Done her time with grenades, C-4, and guns, watching people go down helplessly. Since Saturday, when she does manage to get to sleep, she sees Bendis and explosions, and Wash on occasion instead of Bendis. Sometimes she even wakes up with the smell of Serenity Valley in her nose; blood and decay and dirt, and she goes to Maya to hold her. Breathe in her soft baby scent. She figures the dreams about Wash are courtesy of her conversation with Mal, telling him about everything, not dealing with emotions properly afterward.
Point is, she doesn't want a part of someone else's fight. But when it comes to keeping the people she cares about safe, she trusts herself to take care of business. She's been tense, freezing at a door slamming down the hall, going around corners wide so she can't be surprised, falling into habits that never really go away once you've seen combat.
Maya's dozing in her bassinet that Zoe's dragged to the living room to be easily see from the kitchen where she's sitting. All of her guns are in front of her, and she's going through them, one by one, cleaning. A short glass of whiskey is next to her but mostly untouched. The smell of it and a few sips is enough. She's looking at the clock every now and again, trying not to message Wash the instant it goes past five when he's supposed to be home.