Prayers of the Damned (OTA, tag Father Sam)
Valentine's Day.
Jasper had been pacing all of his sleepless night, unable to read a word of the books he had checked out from the library. It was Valentine's Day here, which meant that it was his sixty-fourth wedding anniversary. It was a day that he would never, could never forget...and yet here he was, trapped in this place without the one person who made his life tolerable, the one creature who made him feel that he could live just one more day.
He felt so alone here, and so frightened. He didn't trust himself. He didn't trust his control, especially without Alice. He feared constantly that he would end up hurting someone, starting the old cycle that he had been in before he met Alice, the cycle that had driven him into the deepest despair. For nearly a hundred years his life had been the life of a monster, the life of the damned. Then he had found someone who was good and kind enough to love a monster, and had rediscovered hope. He feared that without her here, he would regress to what he had been before, and that he couldn't bear.
Early morning found him entering the church, taking a seat at a pew near the middle of the sanctuary. He was wearing long sleeves and long pants, a jacket with the collar popped covering his neck. There were a few scars visible on his hands and face, scars that it was impossible to cover, an unerasable tale of the monster he had been, and which still lurked within him.
He felt strange in the church. He had been raised a god-fearing Christian, and had always believed that there was always forgiveness for humans. The intervening years had taught him that there was no God for monsters, but Alice had insisted it was not so, and given him a sliver of hope that maybe, just maybe, God could forgive him too. And it was her optimism that had led him here today, to sit in this pew and pray to a God that he was sure not only ignored him, but actively despised the damned creature he was.
Still, he steepled his hands and pressed them against his forehead, praying as fervently as he could in the hope that somebody would listen, and help him find relief, and strength to make it through this new challenge.
Jasper had been pacing all of his sleepless night, unable to read a word of the books he had checked out from the library. It was Valentine's Day here, which meant that it was his sixty-fourth wedding anniversary. It was a day that he would never, could never forget...and yet here he was, trapped in this place without the one person who made his life tolerable, the one creature who made him feel that he could live just one more day.
He felt so alone here, and so frightened. He didn't trust himself. He didn't trust his control, especially without Alice. He feared constantly that he would end up hurting someone, starting the old cycle that he had been in before he met Alice, the cycle that had driven him into the deepest despair. For nearly a hundred years his life had been the life of a monster, the life of the damned. Then he had found someone who was good and kind enough to love a monster, and had rediscovered hope. He feared that without her here, he would regress to what he had been before, and that he couldn't bear.
Early morning found him entering the church, taking a seat at a pew near the middle of the sanctuary. He was wearing long sleeves and long pants, a jacket with the collar popped covering his neck. There were a few scars visible on his hands and face, scars that it was impossible to cover, an unerasable tale of the monster he had been, and which still lurked within him.
He felt strange in the church. He had been raised a god-fearing Christian, and had always believed that there was always forgiveness for humans. The intervening years had taught him that there was no God for monsters, but Alice had insisted it was not so, and given him a sliver of hope that maybe, just maybe, God could forgive him too. And it was her optimism that had led him here today, to sit in this pew and pray to a God that he was sure not only ignored him, but actively despised the damned creature he was.
Still, he steepled his hands and pressed them against his forehead, praying as fervently as he could in the hope that somebody would listen, and help him find relief, and strength to make it through this new challenge.