Forgiveness (Closed to Father Sam)
It was a bright and lovely morning, if a little cool. Fantine rose early and dressed, careful not to wake Meg as she left her room and headed towards the church. When she had been a little girl, she had gone to church often. Even when she was a younger woman, it had been part of her life. But ever since she had lost her job at the factory, and been forced deeper and deeper into despair and misery, she had found it hard at times to believe that God still cared. Or...it was complicated, really. Perhaps she did believe that God still cared. Perhaps it was that she didn't believe that she deserved the forgiveness he had to offer.
After all, her misery had come from giving her love too freely; from not being modest and chaste like the Church dictated. And then she had not been honest - she had, in fact, hidden her daughter's existence from the world so as to find work. She had, in this deception, endangered the Mayor's reputation. In short, she almost felt that she deserved to be punished, and that finding forgiveness from God was not something she even deserved.
But still, as she made her way to the church, her heart felt lighter already. The priest had said that God would always forgive, perhaps even if the forgiveness was not deserved. And speaking to the priest would lighten her heart; that she knew almost instinctively.
It was a few moments after nine when she stepped inside, and went to a pew to pray.
After all, her misery had come from giving her love too freely; from not being modest and chaste like the Church dictated. And then she had not been honest - she had, in fact, hidden her daughter's existence from the world so as to find work. She had, in this deception, endangered the Mayor's reputation. In short, she almost felt that she deserved to be punished, and that finding forgiveness from God was not something she even deserved.
But still, as she made her way to the church, her heart felt lighter already. The priest had said that God would always forgive, perhaps even if the forgiveness was not deserved. And speaking to the priest would lighten her heart; that she knew almost instinctively.
It was a few moments after nine when she stepped inside, and went to a pew to pray.