Mother's Worst Nightmare (Arrival - OTA)

[mother_hunter]

(ooc: timed to early Friday morning)She would never be able to explain the sickening feeling that rushed through her when she heard the television on downstairs. John would have never left it on, but maybe this time he had. She hoped to God he had. Mary's muscles were tense as she walked down the stairs. A sharp, intense pang of panic hit her like

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[winchester_john]

It had been a week, and John was finally starting to walk a little easier. Taking stock of the village, learning all he could, he was starting to find a routine. He itched, now and again, found himself looking over his shoulder or touching one of the weapons he kept on him for the comfort of protection, but he was starting to realize it wasn't altogether necessary here.

He still wasn't entirely convinced he wasn't dead, but slowly he was getting used to just...being here.

Currently, John was walking down the street (or rather, hobbling with the temporary help of a cane), sipping a cup of strong coffee from the cafe and taking stock of the street. He'd walked this route every morning he'd been able to take to his feet, keeping limber and learning the lay of the land...

He wasn't entirely sure he was seeing her as he caught sight of her in the middle of the street. For an instant, his gut went to instinct and his hand drifted towards the Colt, which had been waiting for him in his room. Slim, white, pale, ghost or shade came instantly to mind...

But he knew those slim lines. He knew that soft gold hair. He recognized those features and that thin white nightgown...

He couldn't breathe and swore his heart stopped beating. His hand froze and fell away from his weapon, and although he knew better, although he knew it had to be a ghost and he had to be careful, for a second he could feel nothing but hope and agony and feelings he'd lost touch with since the night he'd watched his house...and his wife...burn.

"...Mary?"

[mother_hunter]

Mary quickly turned around. She knew that voice and in an instance she felt a rush of relief and guilt at the same time.

"John?" She took in the way he looked. He looked older than she last seen him. Older and somehow sadder. And then there was the fact he had a beard, which didn't look bad on him, but was different.

She was trying to keep herself in control. The panic, guilt, and worry that was swimming inside her had been kept at bay as best as possible, but now John was here. Mary didn't think twice as she hurried over to him.

"What happened?" He was clearly injured, which didn't make any sense. Her brow furrowed and she reached out to gently touch the side of his face with her finger tips.

Her lips pressed together as she fought the sting in her eyes. Her eyes went soft and apologetic and held a frighten look she only would let her husband see. "John. I've.. Sammy. There was someone in Sammy's room and I tried to get to him but when I opened the door I came here and... I can't find the boys."

[winchester_john]

His eyes shut on their own as her fingers brushed his cheek, head tipping and leaning into the touch. His hand lifted and caught hers, pressing it firmly against his cheek as his eyes opened again, filling swiftly with tears as he stared at her, desperate to believe and yet unable to let himself...

She looked just the way she had the night she'd died.

"He's...he's fine." he choked out, his voice hoarse and thick with pain. "He's..."

With one shaking hand, he reached out and laid it on her shoulder...slim, delicate, but solid and warm. Real...it was real beneath his touch.

He knew he should explain first, he should go for his gun and make sure she wasn't a spirit, he should do the logical and correct thing. He'd trained for this, this was all he knew anymore.

But instead, he hauled her close and pressed his face to her neck, eyes shut as she filled his lungs and fit into his arms...and proved that he was dead. He had to be, because this couldn't happen. This could never be real outside of his own personal version of Heaven.

[mother_hunter]

Mary was beyond confused. They were clearly not in their home or even in Lawerance. John was different, but yet, the same, though the tears in his eyes caused a pang of hurt in her chest.

But the moment John took her in his arms and she felt his warmth envelop her, all her worries went from a raging storm to a dull roar. He was solid against her. John always had the ability to reassure her just by holding her in his arms. He made things simpler.

She closed her eyes, the tears she had been fighting back escaped from the pressure, and she stayed close against him. "I don't understand." She murmured. The thoughts of her boys circled quietly in the back of her mind, but she trusted John.

[winchester_john]

"I know." He breathed, pressing his forehead into the curve of her neck as he drew a shaky breath, trying to collect himself. "I know...I'm sorry, I just..."

He drew back, pressing his forehead against hers for a moment. He was shaking, from head to toe, a fine trembling he couldn't stop. He couldn't let her go, and he couldn't pull back more than he had, didn't know if he ever really wanted to. It was so hard to think when she was this close and this real after so many nights where all he had was the memory of her...

"I know this may be hard to understand," he rasped, opening his eyes to meet hers with a short, almost pained laugh, "and I know how this sounds, but...well, Dorothy, you're not in Kansas anymore."

[mother_hunter]

Her hands rested on his broad shoulders as the tips of her thumbs remained in light contact with the skin of his neck. She watched him through concerned, intent eyes as she tried to read his thoughts, but failed.

The cool cobblestone against her bare feet was enough to confirm she wasn't dreaming. Apart from knowing that, she had no idea where she was or how she got there. Sammy's nursery never used to open up to a street. Something in the far back recesses of her mind echoed the words 'portal' and 'dimensions', but it was a part of her than she had greatly suppressed for so many years.

"Then where are we?" Mary looked at John for answers, "Where are our boys?"

[winchester_john]

"They're here, they're...they're fine." he soothed, rubbing her arms soothingly, all the while marveling at the feel of her beneath his hands. "But...this may be hard to understand, sweetheart, but you and me? All of us...we've been pulled out of time, out of the world. This place...it's a whole other dimension. Dean and Sam, they're grown now. And me..."

He trailed off, smiling sadly as he took her hand and pressed it to his cheek, then turned and pressed a kiss to her palm.

"I'm not the same man you still got sleeping in front of the TV back home."

[mother_hunter]

It was a lot to take in at once and Mary stared at John as she tried to process everything he said.

They were in a place that wasn't just not Kansas, it wasn't her world. Was it a spell that had sent them there? Sam and Dean were grown up. How grown up? She took some comfort in the fact that at least, whoever she had seen in Sammy's nursery, they hadn't hurt her son. She had already realized John was different, but by how much?

"You're older.. like the boys." She suddenly felt left behind, but pushed the feeling away because she knew it was selfish.

[winchester_john]

John nodded, moving to frame her face between his hands. His thumbs strayed to brush over her cheeks with a feather light touch, as if she'd burst and crumble into nothing if he wasn't careful.

"It's been over twenty years for me." he whispered. "Twenty years since the night..." He trailed off, lowering his gaze as he tried to squeeze the words out past the sudden lump in his throat.

"Mary, I think you've just been taken from the night that you died."

[mother_hunter]

Mary had been prepared for a lot of things in life, but she wasn't prepared for the news that John just gave her. She stared at him, her body feeling numb save for the warm touch of his hands on her face. There was a mixture of emotions swimming behind her shocked, saddened eyes. Mary opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out.

She was dead. John wouldn't make something like that up and someone, thinking back to the man she had caught a glimpse of in Sammy's room, it made sense.

"Twenty years..." She had missed out on over twenty years of her boys' lives. Missed so many moments with John.

Her eyes searched his face as they deepened in heaviness, tears now forming without a fight at the corner of her eyes. Her forehead creased and she felt as if she were going to throw up.

[winchester_john]

John tugged her back into his arms, whispering soothing nonsense peppered heavily with "I'm sorry"s and tears of his own that were damp against her neck and shoulder as he held her tight. He was sorry for so much...for now, for then, for a life spent without her because he hadn't been able to stop it.

Holding her tight, John wept silently against her even as he tried to comfort her, and apologized between breaths for not being strong enough to save her.

[mother_hunter]

Mary's own tears were silent from confusion. While many might have reacted physically to the knew, hers was more internal. All she could think about was what her death would mean for her family. How she would miss so much. How she wasn't ready to die yet.

She stayed in his arms for a long time, taking whatever comfort she could from his strong frame. She couldn't imagine what it would be like not to be held like this, or to have his scent around her, but she would, wouldn't she?

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Mary wanted to ask how, but she didn't, couldn't, bring John to relive it right now. Something deep inside of her didn't want to know the answer either.

"Can I see them?" Her voice was quiet against him. "Can I see our boys?"

[winchester_john]

John nodded, drawing back to scrub a hand over his face hastily and start fishing around in his pockets for his messenger.

"Sure...sure, let me just...send the boys a note." he sniffed, drawing out his blackberry and tossing off a quick message. "Meantime, let's get you back to the hotel and changed. There's a big one here, everyone who shows up gets accommodations of their own." He paused, flashing her a small smile as he slid an arm around her shoulders, drawing her against his side to kiss her temple. He couldn't stop touching her now, didn't think he could ever make himself stop.

"Though I'm hopin' you got put in my room 'stead of your own, honestly."

[mother_hunter]

The lingering fact of her death would not go away anytime soon, but Mary pushed it aside that very moment because it wasn't the time to deal with it. She was about to meet her sons - her grown sons - and she had to prepare herself for that.

That, and finally seeing John smile - that smile that she had fallen in love with when she had been younger - gave her something positive to focus on. John's smile brought out a smile of her own on Mary's lips.

Mary leaned up on the balls of her feet and kissed John's cheek. She'd have kissed his lips, but she wasn't sure she'd be able to stop herself from kissing him more than once and she wanted so desperately to see Sam and Dean. She knew John said they were safe, but the anxiety from just moments ago made Mary need to see if for herself.

"Who else is going to make sure you eat three meals a day?" It was Mary's way of saying she hoped the same thing. Since they'd been married, Mary hadn't spent much time under a separate roof from John. It would be strange to do so now, especially knowing what would happen when she returned home.