(Untitled)

[lemon_jiffy]

O'Leary Montagu was sitting at the steps of the hotel, book in one hand, the other hand resting on his thigh, occasionally sneaking in his pocket for a grope at the jiffy though, to be honest, it didn't make him feel very good at all anymore. Just pathetic. The thought of getting rid of it nearly induced a panic attack, though, so he kept it safe

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[notyourcaptain]

Carolyn was surprised by the sight of Maggie with her head in O'Leary's lap. From what she knew, the man was terrified of dogs. Her heart skipped slightly at the thought that maybe Val was coming back.

"Hi," she said softly as she approached, on her way home from the cafe.

[lemon_jiffy]

He looked up at her, let out a smile though it wasn't as broad as it had been the other day.

"Hello, Carolyn."

Maggie groaned and nudged his hand. He petted her.

[notyourcaptain]

She sat next to him and scratched Maggie behind the ears. "How are things going?" She'd been in a fantastic mood, but seeing him made her sad. She couldn't help it.

[lemon_jiffy]

He shrugged.

"Oh. I don't know."

He very much wanted to be held, but he had no one to hold him. Not even Livia, anymore.

He sniffled.

Carolyn was a lot like Mary, he decided.

That just made him sniffle again.

[notyourcaptain]

"Not well?" Her brow furrowed in concern, not liking that sniffle.

[lemon_jiffy]

"Do you...mind terribly if I...not to be fresh, its just..."

He was getting a bit worked up. It was embarrassing.

[notyourcaptain]

"What is it?" she asked, really concerned now.

[lemon_jiffy]

He tried to hold back a small cry and it just came out an embarrassing sound.

"Can you hold me? Just for a moment?"

[notyourcaptain]

Carolyn went a little pale. "Um...hold you like...how? Like a hug?"

[lemon_jiffy]

He nodded, his eyes watering. He looked quite pathetic, he was sure. He couldn't help it.

[notyourcaptain]

"Va-..." Carolyn caught herself just in time. Something tightened painfully in her chest. "Come here." She held open her arms.

[lemon_jiffy]

He did so, leaning over and into her arms, more like a child than anything.

[notyourcaptain]

"You're alright," she said in a trembling voice, wrapping her arms around him, cheek pressed to the top of his head.

[lemon_jiffy]

The relief was overwhelming. There was something so comforting about being held. Being told it was alright, being kept close and away from all the dangers of the world.

He sighed, his tears ceasing almost instantly.

[notyourcaptain]

"There," she breathed, stroking his back in a very maternal fashion, "there, see? All right."

[lemon_jiffy]

"This is all pointless," he sighed.

He was very confused. Aware of himself, of every cell in his body in a way he'd hardly been aware he had been a self at all, once.

He didn't know who he was. But whoever he was, he didn't want to be.