Comments | hearts_andminds: Close to home (Open)

faramir_hurin in hearts_andminds

Close to home (Open)

Jan 30, 2008 00:15

I have just finished speaking with Richard at the library. Things could have gone much worse--he will let me try and rebuild his trust after my incredible stupidity. Things are more widespread than I imagined--there are rumours. These I must find out about because at least one of them I know is not true ( Read more... )

faramir

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merewif January 30 2008, 06:24:42 UTC

There comes a knock on his door, and a familiar (if possibly unwanted) voice through it. "Faramir?"

faramir_hurin January 30 2008, 06:28:55 UTC

It has been a week since it happened. Had there been a problem, I should have heard from her by now. I'm not sure what Glaurnaneth wants--reading lessons? Or she has heard rumours also. I open the door.

"Yes?" I'm ashamed of what I did but I do not need to hide. "Is something wrong?"

merewif January 30 2008, 06:31:05 UTC

"I met and spoke with Sophie. I said I was sorry but do not think she believed me." The Sophie woman was observant.

faramir_hurin January 30 2008, 06:33:21 UTC

"Where and when did you see here?" Is this where the rumours came from? But Sophie would not do that.

"What did you apologise for, exactly?" That might make a difference.

merewif January 30 2008, 06:36:44 UTC

"Sunday morning, in the lobby. I apologized for causing this." Her tail waved, indicating the social mess.

faramir_hurin January 30 2008, 06:41:32 UTC

"You were not alone in causing it." I accept that. "Why do you think she did not believe you?"

The movement of the tail is eye-catching and takes effort not to watch.

merewif January 30 2008, 06:44:59 UTC

"She said that words without emotion have no meaning. I explained I wasn't human and don't feel things the way you do. Shortly after that, she left."

Skipping potentially embarrassing details.

faramir_hurin January 30 2008, 06:49:17 UTC

Words without emotion? I know she is not human.

"I spoke today with Duchess Polgara. She mentioned speaking with you and that you do not feel any guilt. Is that true?" I trust Polgara completely and I hope Glaurnaneth trusts her as well.

merewif January 30 2008, 06:53:23 UTC

"No." She corrected herself, "Yes, it is true that I did not feel guilt for what I have done, but she assured me I should. And another told me to apologize to the person I hurt, so I tried to apologize to Sophie."

And now she was talking to Faramir.

faramir_hurin January 30 2008, 06:56:39 UTC

"Being told that you should feel guilt and feeling it are different things. And apologising without feeling guilt, or sorry, also means nothing." No wonder Sophie did not believe. "But you said you did not feel guilt--has that changed?"

Perhaps she does now when she did not before.

merewif January 30 2008, 07:00:02 UTC

She shook her head. "No." At least she's not going to lie about it ... right?

She got what she wants, Faramir will get what he wants (gods willing). More people will get good out of this than will suffer hurt. Faramir believes it, and perforce so does Glaurnaneth.

faramir_hurin January 30 2008, 07:05:47 UTC

"Then you should not apologise, since you feel you did no wrong." I close my eyes and take several deep breaths before looking up again.

"I did more wrong and hurt many people. I thought but I should have thought more." I do feel guilt and it is my own fault.

"I have heard also that magic was used on me. Is this only a rumour? I do not know how many people have heard these things and what they're saying." It could all be lies, as far as I know.

merewif January 30 2008, 07:09:14 UTC

"It is true, Faramir."

This is what she'd come to say to him. To cement the lie and do what she can to ease the hurt she has caused him. Not the direct hurt ... but the feelings the others who care for him.

faramir_hurin January 30 2008, 07:13:12 UTC

The rumour is true or it is true she used magic? I do not think so.

"That does not make sense. If you used magic, then why did you not use it when we first met? There have been other times when you could have, so why would you wait like that?" There is no reason. "I made my own decisions, did this wrong on my own. It was not forced."

Not like the island. I did this.

merewif January 30 2008, 07:16:15 UTC

"I was using it all along, Faramir. Every time we met, every chance we spoke. Every night I kept your nightmares at bay. It built, over time, until your will could not recognize mine from your own.

"Now that it is over, the magic has washed away and you are left wondering what happened to you, to come to this place."

faramir_hurin January 30 2008, 07:22:14 UTC

"No. There are other men in this village--you had to scent them when you arrived. There would be no reason for you to choose the idiot who happened to release you when there are many more, better, that you could have sought out." I do not understand truly why I was chosen but there are others who would have done it, I'm sure.

"You did not need to wait so long and it makes no sense that you did. When I was asleep you could have..." I know that is true. "I have dreams of my own, I would never have known it wasn't a dream. But you didn't."

I know how I came to this place, through a combination of blindness, loving my brother, and stupidity. I didn't need magic.

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