2006 Good And Bad
I am deciding to tell everyone how God blessed me last year. Also the things I saw myself improve on during last year. Along with the things I knew I should have but didn't because I choose to live out of fear.
God blessed me last year with a lot He defiantly is amazing. I don't know how I would have made it without Him and all of you! Praise God for all of you because I couldn't have done it by myself even though I think I can because my flesh is soo stupid. God healed me from my seizures and I defiantly don't STOP and thank Him enough for that one. Thanks guys for being there for me for that I never could have done it alone. :) I got to go to Mexico. God really blessed me doing this because He showed me what my heart wants to do for Him and also taught me how important being a servant for His Kingdom is to Him. Also how important tithing is to Him.God provided me with a new place to live and a steady job.I got involved in YoungLife. I formed more relationships with girls and guys.God has used some of these relationships to bring out the anger in me.He has defined my identity and shown me His love for me. He wants to Romance me. Which He has for a while now and I have been avoiding it because I have been defining myself for someone else. I have been since I was a child. Why would I want to have to find out I was actually something else. Than what? So I went from a worthless/tramp to God showing me I'm not.
That makes me feel like I'm a new person and don't really know what to expect and I don't like it. Before I went around believing I was a worthless/tramp ect defined by the lies and knew what to expect.Expecting no guy to ever take interest. My own dad didn't even do that.I also couldn't live out of my heart like I really want to fear I might love wrong because I have so much of it for people. What if I actually hugged someone wrong or did something that made me look like a tramp. I can't really love anyone with my whole heart. If I'm believing the truth That I am beautiful it feels like I'm throwing myself out there to be stabbed to death. I feel that way because I am scared I am going to get rejected and told differently than what God says. I had never heard God tell me I was beautiful until last month. It's been hard for me to accept that was true. After that I just kinda laughed and went yah right. :) So I guess we know what's happening. Plus He gave me my promises
I should have been bolder but instead I choose to live in fear.
I have been standing in my gift of intercessory more but not enough
I have been reading the word more but not enough
I went into to much isolation
God blessed me last year with a lot He defiantly is amazing. I don't know how I would have made it without Him and all of you! Praise God for all of you because I couldn't have done it by myself even though I think I can because my flesh is soo stupid. God healed me from my seizures and I defiantly don't STOP and thank Him enough for that one. Thanks guys for being there for me for that I never could have done it alone. :) I got to go to Mexico. God really blessed me doing this because He showed me what my heart wants to do for Him and also taught me how important being a servant for His Kingdom is to Him. Also how important tithing is to Him.God provided me with a new place to live and a steady job.I got involved in YoungLife. I formed more relationships with girls and guys.God has used some of these relationships to bring out the anger in me.He has defined my identity and shown me His love for me. He wants to Romance me. Which He has for a while now and I have been avoiding it because I have been defining myself for someone else. I have been since I was a child. Why would I want to have to find out I was actually something else. Than what? So I went from a worthless/tramp to God showing me I'm not.
That makes me feel like I'm a new person and don't really know what to expect and I don't like it. Before I went around believing I was a worthless/tramp ect defined by the lies and knew what to expect.Expecting no guy to ever take interest. My own dad didn't even do that.I also couldn't live out of my heart like I really want to fear I might love wrong because I have so much of it for people. What if I actually hugged someone wrong or did something that made me look like a tramp. I can't really love anyone with my whole heart. If I'm believing the truth That I am beautiful it feels like I'm throwing myself out there to be stabbed to death. I feel that way because I am scared I am going to get rejected and told differently than what God says. I had never heard God tell me I was beautiful until last month. It's been hard for me to accept that was true. After that I just kinda laughed and went yah right. :) So I guess we know what's happening. Plus He gave me my promises
I should have been bolder but instead I choose to live in fear.
I have been standing in my gift of intercessory more but not enough
I have been reading the word more but not enough
I went into to much isolation