Fic: Animals of War (Remus/Sirius) NC-17
Title: Animals of War
Rating: NC-17
Main Characters: Remus Lupin, Sirius Black
Pairings: Remus Lupin/Sirius Black
Summary: We are all animals of war. Nothing else matters in the end. Written for the Marry, Shag, Kill: The Writing Challenge at the HPFC forum.
Disclaimer: Anything you recognise does not belong to me.
Warnings: Sexual content; language
A/N: This was written for the Marry, Shag, Kill: The Writing Challenge (created by Paris in December) over at the HPFC forum.
Details: Four characters were provided. The main character must do the marrying, shagging, and killing. No less than 500 words and no more than 3000 (which I failed miserably at).
Provided Characters: (Main) Remus Lupin; (Marry, Shag, Kill) Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, Lily Evans
Method of Killing: Werewolf
Animals of War
“I now pronounce you husband and wife,” the minister said loudly. “You may kiss the bride.”
The congregation clapped and cheered as the couple pulled close to one another and shared a quick kiss. They parted and the bride blushed as the groom stared down at her. As they turned to walk back up the aisle, he turned to the best man and they nodded stiffly, but respectfully to each other.
This is wrong, he thought. I don’t love her. She deserves better than this.
They ran down the steps of the church, ducking their heads as the shower of rice rained upon them. Climbing into the back of the black car, they waved at their friends and joined families and settled in, preparing themselves for the reception that waited to greet them as husband and wife.
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“Remus?” Lily said softly, standing in the kitchen doorway.
Remus didn’t hear her. He was seated on the dull green couch gazing at two photographs held in each of his hands. The first was a picture of James and Lily’s wedding. They smiled and waved happily up at Remus. The second was almost exactly identical, save for a handful of small differences and one large one.
The smiles were a little less bright in the second photo, and the eyes didn’t sparkle in complete happiness. The muscles were stiff and the postures tense and awkward. There was no love lighting the two people’s faces. There was acceptance and there was caring glances. The contrast was shocking between the two. The first was like gazing at a full-blown rainbow of colours while the second was comparable to a drab black and white memory.
“Remus, love, are you all right?” Lily asked, startling Remus out of his daze as she placed a gentle hand atop his.
“I’m fine,” he answered, providing her with a wan smile. “Sorry; didn’t realise you were talking to me.”
Lily’s gaze slid to the photographs and she took the second of the two from his grasp. She lightly ran her fingers over her face and Remus’, studying their expressions.
“You look quite handsome here, you know,” she said. “I’ve always thought so.”
“The camera adds it all,” he said in forced humour. Lily smiled slightly, but didn’t laugh. She rarely did anymore.
“It was a lovely wedding, wasn’t it?” she asked softly.
Remus hummed in agreement. Lily reached across his lap and grasped the other photograph in her free hand. She allowed her fingers to drift over the faces present in the first one as well, her eyes filling with tears and a look of deep longing and far off reverence emerging in the emerald green depths.
“I miss him so much,” she whispered, choking on a sob.
Remus’ arm wrapped around her shoulders and he pulled her into a gentle embrace. “So do I,” he murmured.
Lily’s fingers drifted to the best man of both photos, studying the varying expressions on the handsome face. In the first picture, the man was beaming brightly, lifting a champagne glass in a toast to the happy couple. The second one was the complete opposite. The man stood with his hands clasped tightly behind his back, his expression a stoic mask of indifference, save for the forced smile that appeared on his face at random times.
Remus stared at the aristocratic features of one of his best friends and his heart ached. It had been almost a year since they had seen Sirius. He had agreed to be Remus’ best man, but hadn’t agreed with him and Lily marrying. Sirius had disappeared after the ceremony, not even making an appearance at the reception, and he hadn’t spoken to the couple since.
Remus sighed as his thoughts drifted back to the last true conversation he and Sirius had had.
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“I can’t believe you’re considering this!” Sirius exclaimed.
Remus sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose as he sank down onto the sofa, every ounce of strength leaving his body. “What do you want me to do, Sirius?”
“Not do it, obviously,” Sirius scoffed.
“I promised him I’d take care of Lily,” Remus said, shaking his head in disbelief.
“I know you did, Remus, but do you honestly think that Lily needs someone to take care of her?”
“I know she does, Sirius. And it doesn’t matter anyhow, because I promised James that if any - anything ever happened to him, I’d take care of Lily like he wanted me to,” he replied, choking slightly over the words.
Sirius growled low in his throat. “So that’s that then, is it?” he snapped. “You’re just going to marry Lily and that’s it?”
“It has to be, Sirius,” Remus said, his eyes pleading with the other man to understand.
Sirius swallowed and his jaw clenched as he shook his head. “I can’t condone this, Remus. You know I can’t.”
Remus released an explosive breath and stood suddenly, pacing back and forth in front of Sirius. “What would you have done, Sirius, if James had asked of you what he did of me? You can’t honestly tell me you would have denied him.”
“I would have,” Sirius said forcefully.
“Why?” Remus cried. “He was your best friend.”
“Yeah, he was,” Sirius whispered, “but I wouldn’t have done it because I don’t love Lily. Not the way a person should to marry them, at least. It isn’t fair to either person. And I wouldn’t have agreed to it because I would have known that by doing so, I would eventually lose you.”
Remus froze and stared at Sirius. He was looking at the floor, unwilling to meet Remus’ eyes.
“I didn’t know you cared that much,” Remus murmured. “You never - never said.”
“You’re the only thing I’ve ever truly wanted, Remus,” Sirius continued in the same soft tone. “And I finally had you, against all odds. You were mine. I thought nothing could take you away from me. I was wrong.” Sirius finally looked up and Remus was surprised to see that his eyes were red-rimmed and wet. His mask was cracked, his sadness showing through.
Remus stepped forward quickly and drew Sirius into his arms, pulling him tightly to his chest, his fingers threading through the dark hair. “I’m so sorry, Sirius. If I could change it now, I would, but I - I can’t. James - he’s gone and I can’t take that promise away.”
Sirius hands clutched at his back, his nails digging through the shirt and into the scarred flesh of Remus’ shoulder blades. “I’m not sure how I’m supposed to handle this,” he choked into the skin of the other man’s neck. “First I lost James and now I’m going to lose you too.”
Remus buried his face in the crook of Sirius’ neck as well and breathed in the scent of the man that he suddenly realised he loved. “I’ll find him, Sirius,” he swore vehemently. “Even if I have to track down every last Death Eater, I’ll find the man who murdered James and I’ll kill him without a second thought. Nobody can take a Marauder and escape the consequences. I’ll find him for you and for Lily. I’ll find him for all of us; everyone who loved him.”
Sirius gently bit into Remus’ skin as a tremor of despair raced through his body. Remus tightened his arms and began to trace soothing circles across his scalp.
“I’ll be your best man, Remus, because I know it would make James happy,” Sirius murmured. “After that, though, I - I can’t have anything else to do with this. It still isn’t right, no matter how much I know you want to keep your promise to James.”
Remus knew that was the best he could hope for. He pulled back and kissed Sirius as though it would be their last. Because, really, his heart knew it truly was.
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Lily pulled Remus out of his memories by cupping a gentle hand around his jaw.
“I know you’re not happy, Remus,” she said. “And to be honest, neither am I.”
Remus glanced up at her in surprise. He opened his mouth to speak, but Lily cut across him, holding her hand out to stop him.
“You don’t love me; not the way you should to be stuck in a marriage with me,” she continued. “I don’t love you like that either, Remus. You’re my best friend and I love you like a sister might love a brother, and that just makes this whole situation awkward. I shouldn’t have let it drag out this long.”
She sighed and brushed a strand of hair from her eyes. “To be honest, in the beginning I had hoped that after some time had passed, we would learn to care about one another like that. I should have known it would never happen though, because I can’t let my love for James die and you’re already in love with someone else.”
Remus gaped at her in shock. “What are you talking about, Lily?”
She smiled slightly. “I know you’re in love with Sirius.” Remus’ mouth worked soundlessly and Lily snorted. “James and Peter may have been blind, Remus, but I’m not. You’ve been my best friend since second year. Did you honestly think I wouldn’t notice that he and you were together?”
Remus shook his head, clearing his scattered thoughts. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”
Lily’s smile dissolved and she shrugged. “I thought you’d tell me when you were ready,” she replied. “But, then, everything just sort of…fell apart at the seams.” She sighed and ran a hand through her dark red hair. “I should never have married you. You were so adamant about keeping your promise to James, though. And, truth be told, I needed you, Remus. I was selfish.”
“Oh, Lily, no,” Remus protested, but Lily held up a hand again.
“Yes, I was, love,” she whispered. “I knew you were in love with someone else, but I took you for my own selfish purposes anyhow.”
“Lily,” Remus murmured, but she shook her head.
“You kept your promise to James, Remus. You’ve taken care of me and you’ve helped me.” She stood and walked to the fireplace, looking into the flames. “I love James, Remus. I still miss him desperately and it still hurts; it always will. I’m better now, though.” Lily turned back to face him, smiling slightly. “And you helped me get there. I don’t need you anymore, Remus. Not as a husband, at least. I’d still like to keep you as a friend, though, it it’s all the same to you.”
Remus stood as well and joined her next to the fire. “What are you saying, Lily?” he asked.
She placed a soft hand on his cheek. “Go to Sirius, Remus.”
“Lily,” Remus stuttered out. “I can’t do that. James wasn’t the only one I made a promise to. I made one to you, too. I can’t just walk away from that.”
“You’ve done everything you’ve ever said you would do and more,” whispered Lily. “It’s time for you to be happy, Remus.”
“I am not just going to leave you for someone else, Lily,” he said forcefully. “It wouldn’t be right.”
“None of this is right!” she said shrilly. “Don’t you understand that?”
Remus stared at her in stubborn, resolute defiance.
“Fine,” she huffed out in frustration. She walked back to the couch and sat down, crossing her arms over her chest. Her eyes blazed at him with more life and passion than he had seen since the day James had died. “If it’s a fight you want, it’s a fight you’re going to get. Remus Lupin, I want a divorce.”
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Sirius pulled his head out of the fireplace as a knock sounded on the door. He turned back quickly and grinned.
“Sorry, Pete,” he said, “someone calls.”
Peter rolled his eyes. “All right, Pads. See you later.” Then he was gone.
Sirius stood and stretched as he made his way to his flat’s door. He opened it, a welcoming smile emerging on his face that died as soon as he saw who was standing on the landing.
He had a brief opportunity to utter a faintly surprised, “Remus” before his back was shoved up against the wall and the door was slammed closed. Remus’ lips were suddenly on his and Sirius found himself melting at the familiar tastes. Remus had always tasted of chocolate and parchment, though Sirius had always been curious about the last one. Now, however, there were new flavours to identify.
There was a hint of creamy mint, which signified to Sirius that Remus had changed toothpastes. His lips tasted of sweat when Sirius ran his tongue across them and it caused him to moan into the other man’s mouth, thinking about just why that would be so. Lingering around the edges was something Sirius couldn’t expertly identify, though he did know that it tasted vaguely…feminine.
Sirius froze. Lily.
He pushed Remus back against the opposite wall and they stared at one another, both panting to regain their breath. Sirius pressed his hands flat against the wall behind him, restraining himself from reaching forward, grabbing Remus’ shirt, and kissing the other man until he saw stars.
“Wha - what are you doing here?” he stuttered out in a whisper.
Remus’ eyes hadn’t left his. “Lily sent me,” he answered simply.
“Why?” Sirius breathed.
Remus shrugged. “This is where I’m supposed to be.” He searched Sirius’ face for a long moment before his lips quirked into a smile. “She’s asked for a divorce.”
That was all it took for Sirius to be across the small hall and crashing into Remus’ body. As their lips met again and their fingers began working buttons loose expertly, his mind screamed at him that Remus hadn’t explained why or even said that he had agreed to Lily’s demands, but that didn’t matter for all he knew Remus. The man was his and he always would be.
They made slow, clumsy progress down the hall and into Sirius’ room. Remus growled against his ear as the werewolf shoved him down atop the bed and removed the last of their clothes. Warmth surrounded him as Remus fell onto the bed on top of him and began to kiss a quick path across his chest.
Sirius could feel his erection caught between their bodies, grazing lightly against Remus’ stomach. He canted his hips upward and a groan of want emerged from between his lips. Remus chuckled low in his throat as his teeth teased at a nipple and his hand dipped down to Sirius’ thigh.
There was a sudden pressure and Sirius uttered a short hiss as he felt Remus’ fingers slide inside him. Soon enough, he was rocking his hips back and forth, desperately trying to match the rhythm of those probing fingers.
Remus slowly slid the digits out of him and Sirius whimpered pathetically at the loss of the pleasurable pressure. Remus laughed softly as he leaned in to kiss Sirius.
“Poor pup,” he murmured against his lips.
Sirius shifted a bit beneath him and his cock rubbed against Remus’. Both men moaned and moved their hips together, delighting in the sensations that coursed through their bodies. Remus readjusted and Sirius barely contained his groan of protest.
He spread Sirius’ legs and he could feel the tip of Remus’ erection tracing his entrance. He waited impatiently, but Remus made no further move.
“Remus,” Sirius whispered, begging, pleading, “please.”
Remus met his eyes, pupils blown wide with lust, desire, and…love. Sirius’ heart pounded in his chest as the other man bent down and kissed him.
“I love you,” he said against his lips.
Sirius’ breath caught in his chest. “I love you too, Remus.”
Remus’ eyes drifted back to his and Sirius felt a sudden clenching and burning sensation as Remus thrust fully inside him in one smooth motion. Sirius cried out and bit his lip while Remus paused to provide Sirius enough time to adjust to the intrusion.
Then Remus was thrusting again, Sirius’ hips arching up off the bed to meet his. His hand drifted to Sirius’s neglected erection and began to work around it as his rhythm increased. They panted and moaned to one another and Sirius cried out in ecstasy each time his prostate was brushed.
Sirius’ hands clawed at Remus’ back and his teeth bit into the sensitive flesh at the base of the werewolf’s neck. Remus gasped and his hand quickened its pace. Their hips pounded against one another’s, their hot, sweat-slicked chests meeting with each movement and inhaled breath.
“Remus!” Sirius gasped out as he came across the man’s hand and stomach.
Remus’ hips rocked faster, moist skin slapping against Sirius’ as he neared his climax. His hands dug into the flesh of Sirius’ hips and the dark-haired wizard threaded his fingers through the lighter strands. His back arched off the bed as he watched the desire spread through Remus’ eyes and etch itself across his face.
Remus shouted Sirius’ name as his release overtook him and the pleasure shuddered through his body. He thrust out his completion, his movements slowing before he uttered a breathless curse and collapsed across Sirius’ body.
They stayed like that for hours afterwards, wrapped in each other’s arms. They talked about the days gone past or lay staring at one another, brushing nonexistent strands of hair out of their partner’s face, simply for an excuse to touch them. They were finally happy, and that was all that mattered at the time.
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Remus returned to the flat one day a few months later pale and visibly shaken. Sirius rushed to him, his hands immediately rising to his lover’s face and his fingers threading through the soft, honeyed locks. Grey eyes carefully studied brown; travelled over sweat beaded brow and trembling, bitten and chapped lips. His hand soothed over a cheekbone, gently calming, softly mending.
Sirius held him tightly in his arms until the shaking subsided and Remus released a forced, tremulous chuckle.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured, the words falling over the skin of Sirius’ neck in short breaths. His grip tightened around Remus. “I don’t know what came over me.”
“It’s all right, Remus.” Sirius finally took a hesitant step back, studying the other man’s face again. “What happened?”
Remus’ eyes hardened and his hands clenched into fists. Sirius’ breath caught in his chest when he saw something feral rise to the surface. Full moon tonight…
“I ran into Snape in Diagon Alley,” Remus growled out in a low, harsh whisper. “He pulled me down into Knockturn Alley.” Remus’ eyes met Sirius’, anger, pain, and betrayal surging in their depths. “He had quite the story to tell me.”
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They met in Remus’ parents’ old, crumbling cottage, just as they had every full moon since they had left Hogwarts. Now, though, now there was one less Marauder. Now, they knew why.
Remus leaned against the old, cracked mantle as he watched Sirius pace the length of the living room back and forth. He was restless, eyes flicking to the door every few seconds, and Remus didn’t blame him. The wolf inside his head paced along with Sirius.
There was a creaking sound as Peter walked through the front entrance. Sirius stopped mid-step and stared at him. Peter waved a bit when he saw his two friends and joined Remus by the old fireplace.
“’Lo, Moony, Padfoot,” he greeted with a small smile. “It’s nice to have the group back together again, isn’t it?”
“We’re not all here,” Remus growled out. Peter raised his eyebrows at him questioningly.
Sirius shot him a quick look and waved a hand flippantly. “Don’t worry about him, Wormtail. The wolf’s been a bit on edge lately.”
“Ah,” Peter sighed knowingly. Remus felt the distinct urge to bite him.
Deciding that it was probably about time, he shoved himself away from the mantle and made his way to the kitchen.
“Where are you going?” Peter called behind him.
Remus paused, but did not look at the other man. “I think we should stay in the basement this time,” he replied. “The wolf’s been a bit…agitated the past day or so.”
Sirius glanced at him in confirmation before walking ahead and down into the basement. Remus and Peter followed. When they arrived at the base of the stairs, Sirius was nowhere to be seen. Remus shrugged at Peter and closed the door behind them. No sooner had the latch clicked shut before Sirius was out of the darkness and had Peter pinned against the opposite wall.
“S - Sirius?” he gasped in terror.
“Shut up,” Sirius snarled, fire blazing in his eyes. “Just shut the fuck up! We know what you did, you bloody, fucking bastard! We know it was you!”
“I - I don’t know w -what you’re talking about,” Peter protested. His eyes turned to Remus pleadingly. “Please, Remus, he’s gone mad. Help me!”
Remus gritted his teeth together, forcing the wolf back down as he shook his head. Sirius threw his head back and laughed.
“Help you?” he snapped maliciously. “Why would he help you? You killed James!”
“No, no, I didn’t!” Peter cried.
“Don’t fucking lie to me, you filthy rat!” Sirius screamed in his face. Remus’ eyes drifted to the window beyond their heads, judging their time. “We have all the proof we need; we know. We even saw it, Wormtail.”
Peter’s eyes widened. He glanced back at Remus, but quickly redirected his eyes when he saw the fierceness that Remus could feel within himself.
He took a deep breath and spoke quietly, “Why did you do it, Peter? There had to have been a better reason.”
Peter refused to look back at him and shook his head, unable to answer.
“That’s really the only reason you killed your best fucking friend,” Sirius snarled in outrage. “Because you were jealous?” He shook Peter by the collar of his shirt, beating his head against the wall painfully. “You killed him because he had a wife and a job and a life that didn’t revolve around you anymore and you were jealous?”
Peter was shaking beneath Sirius’ grip; Remus could see it from across the room. There was a sudden sharp pain at the base of his spine and he bent double, clutching his sides. He stood after a moment and ignored the other pains as best he could.
“Sirius,” he whispered scratchily. Sirius’ head jerked around when he heard the sound. “Go; get out of here.”
“Remus - what -?” he asked, his eyes narrowing in puzzlement.
“Go!” Remus shouted as the transformation began to overtake him. “You don’t need to be here; you don’t need to see this.”
Sirius hesitated for a brief moment before he sprinted across the room to the door. He paused beside Remus for a short second, running his hand lightly over the werewolf’s hair. A moment later, he was gone, the thick basement door closing and locking behind him.
Remus glanced up at Peter to see the man staring at him with wide eyes. When he saw the gaze, saw the changing gold eyes, his body shifted and dropped, leaving a rat in its place. The rat began to skirt around the edges of the stone floor, searching for an escape. Remus chuckled low in his throat, sounding more like a growl than a laugh.
“There’s nowhere to go, Wormtail,” he taunted, baring newly sharp teeth. “You’re trapped; just like the rat you are.” Then he was howling, head thrown back and body rippling as it tugged and pulled and morphed into a massive brown beast.
Moony shook out his fur and peered around the darkened basement, eyes keen when they landed on the shivering form of the rat. There was an insistent voice in Moony’s head, telling him to kill Wormtail. Moony shook his head roughly and raked a paw over his ear, trying to dispel the voice. It persisted.
Pack, Moony whimpered. The trembling rat gazed at him with wide eyes, not daring to move out of fear. Wormtail pack.
Wormtail killed pack, the voice insisted. Wormtail killed Prongs.
Prongs? Moony whined. The wolf remembered his pack mate. He had grieved for him as much as any human had.
His eyes shifted back to Wormtail and he growled threateningly. Wormtail squeaked shrilly and scurried away, towards the door. Moony followed slowly, stalking his prey in a way he had never been able to. The rat continued squeaking as it came closer and closer to the door. A body length away, Wormtail transformed and became Peter Pettigrew.
“Sirius!” he cried desperately, clawing at the door. The werewolf’s eyes narrowed and focused. With one final growl, he pounced.
On the other side of the door, Sirius sat at the base of the stairs, leaning his body against the reinforced door. His legs were pulled up to his chest and his head rested against his knees. His body shook as he listened first to the screams and cries of agony and then to the growls and yips of contentment. He clenched his eyes closed and prayed to whatever deity would listen that everything would be all right come daylight.
Rating: NC-17
Main Characters: Remus Lupin, Sirius Black
Pairings: Remus Lupin/Sirius Black
Summary: We are all animals of war. Nothing else matters in the end. Written for the Marry, Shag, Kill: The Writing Challenge at the HPFC forum.
Disclaimer: Anything you recognise does not belong to me.
Warnings: Sexual content; language
A/N: This was written for the Marry, Shag, Kill: The Writing Challenge (created by Paris in December) over at the HPFC forum.
Details: Four characters were provided. The main character must do the marrying, shagging, and killing. No less than 500 words and no more than 3000 (which I failed miserably at).
Provided Characters: (Main) Remus Lupin; (Marry, Shag, Kill) Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, Lily Evans
Method of Killing: Werewolf
Animals of War
“I now pronounce you husband and wife,” the minister said loudly. “You may kiss the bride.”
The congregation clapped and cheered as the couple pulled close to one another and shared a quick kiss. They parted and the bride blushed as the groom stared down at her. As they turned to walk back up the aisle, he turned to the best man and they nodded stiffly, but respectfully to each other.
This is wrong, he thought. I don’t love her. She deserves better than this.
They ran down the steps of the church, ducking their heads as the shower of rice rained upon them. Climbing into the back of the black car, they waved at their friends and joined families and settled in, preparing themselves for the reception that waited to greet them as husband and wife.
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“Remus?” Lily said softly, standing in the kitchen doorway.
Remus didn’t hear her. He was seated on the dull green couch gazing at two photographs held in each of his hands. The first was a picture of James and Lily’s wedding. They smiled and waved happily up at Remus. The second was almost exactly identical, save for a handful of small differences and one large one.
The smiles were a little less bright in the second photo, and the eyes didn’t sparkle in complete happiness. The muscles were stiff and the postures tense and awkward. There was no love lighting the two people’s faces. There was acceptance and there was caring glances. The contrast was shocking between the two. The first was like gazing at a full-blown rainbow of colours while the second was comparable to a drab black and white memory.
“Remus, love, are you all right?” Lily asked, startling Remus out of his daze as she placed a gentle hand atop his.
“I’m fine,” he answered, providing her with a wan smile. “Sorry; didn’t realise you were talking to me.”
Lily’s gaze slid to the photographs and she took the second of the two from his grasp. She lightly ran her fingers over her face and Remus’, studying their expressions.
“You look quite handsome here, you know,” she said. “I’ve always thought so.”
“The camera adds it all,” he said in forced humour. Lily smiled slightly, but didn’t laugh. She rarely did anymore.
“It was a lovely wedding, wasn’t it?” she asked softly.
Remus hummed in agreement. Lily reached across his lap and grasped the other photograph in her free hand. She allowed her fingers to drift over the faces present in the first one as well, her eyes filling with tears and a look of deep longing and far off reverence emerging in the emerald green depths.
“I miss him so much,” she whispered, choking on a sob.
Remus’ arm wrapped around her shoulders and he pulled her into a gentle embrace. “So do I,” he murmured.
Lily’s fingers drifted to the best man of both photos, studying the varying expressions on the handsome face. In the first picture, the man was beaming brightly, lifting a champagne glass in a toast to the happy couple. The second one was the complete opposite. The man stood with his hands clasped tightly behind his back, his expression a stoic mask of indifference, save for the forced smile that appeared on his face at random times.
Remus stared at the aristocratic features of one of his best friends and his heart ached. It had been almost a year since they had seen Sirius. He had agreed to be Remus’ best man, but hadn’t agreed with him and Lily marrying. Sirius had disappeared after the ceremony, not even making an appearance at the reception, and he hadn’t spoken to the couple since.
Remus sighed as his thoughts drifted back to the last true conversation he and Sirius had had.
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“I can’t believe you’re considering this!” Sirius exclaimed.
Remus sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose as he sank down onto the sofa, every ounce of strength leaving his body. “What do you want me to do, Sirius?”
“Not do it, obviously,” Sirius scoffed.
“I promised him I’d take care of Lily,” Remus said, shaking his head in disbelief.
“I know you did, Remus, but do you honestly think that Lily needs someone to take care of her?”
“I know she does, Sirius. And it doesn’t matter anyhow, because I promised James that if any - anything ever happened to him, I’d take care of Lily like he wanted me to,” he replied, choking slightly over the words.
Sirius growled low in his throat. “So that’s that then, is it?” he snapped. “You’re just going to marry Lily and that’s it?”
“It has to be, Sirius,” Remus said, his eyes pleading with the other man to understand.
Sirius swallowed and his jaw clenched as he shook his head. “I can’t condone this, Remus. You know I can’t.”
Remus released an explosive breath and stood suddenly, pacing back and forth in front of Sirius. “What would you have done, Sirius, if James had asked of you what he did of me? You can’t honestly tell me you would have denied him.”
“I would have,” Sirius said forcefully.
“Why?” Remus cried. “He was your best friend.”
“Yeah, he was,” Sirius whispered, “but I wouldn’t have done it because I don’t love Lily. Not the way a person should to marry them, at least. It isn’t fair to either person. And I wouldn’t have agreed to it because I would have known that by doing so, I would eventually lose you.”
Remus froze and stared at Sirius. He was looking at the floor, unwilling to meet Remus’ eyes.
“I didn’t know you cared that much,” Remus murmured. “You never - never said.”
“You’re the only thing I’ve ever truly wanted, Remus,” Sirius continued in the same soft tone. “And I finally had you, against all odds. You were mine. I thought nothing could take you away from me. I was wrong.” Sirius finally looked up and Remus was surprised to see that his eyes were red-rimmed and wet. His mask was cracked, his sadness showing through.
Remus stepped forward quickly and drew Sirius into his arms, pulling him tightly to his chest, his fingers threading through the dark hair. “I’m so sorry, Sirius. If I could change it now, I would, but I - I can’t. James - he’s gone and I can’t take that promise away.”
Sirius hands clutched at his back, his nails digging through the shirt and into the scarred flesh of Remus’ shoulder blades. “I’m not sure how I’m supposed to handle this,” he choked into the skin of the other man’s neck. “First I lost James and now I’m going to lose you too.”
Remus buried his face in the crook of Sirius’ neck as well and breathed in the scent of the man that he suddenly realised he loved. “I’ll find him, Sirius,” he swore vehemently. “Even if I have to track down every last Death Eater, I’ll find the man who murdered James and I’ll kill him without a second thought. Nobody can take a Marauder and escape the consequences. I’ll find him for you and for Lily. I’ll find him for all of us; everyone who loved him.”
Sirius gently bit into Remus’ skin as a tremor of despair raced through his body. Remus tightened his arms and began to trace soothing circles across his scalp.
“I’ll be your best man, Remus, because I know it would make James happy,” Sirius murmured. “After that, though, I - I can’t have anything else to do with this. It still isn’t right, no matter how much I know you want to keep your promise to James.”
Remus knew that was the best he could hope for. He pulled back and kissed Sirius as though it would be their last. Because, really, his heart knew it truly was.
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Lily pulled Remus out of his memories by cupping a gentle hand around his jaw.
“I know you’re not happy, Remus,” she said. “And to be honest, neither am I.”
Remus glanced up at her in surprise. He opened his mouth to speak, but Lily cut across him, holding her hand out to stop him.
“You don’t love me; not the way you should to be stuck in a marriage with me,” she continued. “I don’t love you like that either, Remus. You’re my best friend and I love you like a sister might love a brother, and that just makes this whole situation awkward. I shouldn’t have let it drag out this long.”
She sighed and brushed a strand of hair from her eyes. “To be honest, in the beginning I had hoped that after some time had passed, we would learn to care about one another like that. I should have known it would never happen though, because I can’t let my love for James die and you’re already in love with someone else.”
Remus gaped at her in shock. “What are you talking about, Lily?”
She smiled slightly. “I know you’re in love with Sirius.” Remus’ mouth worked soundlessly and Lily snorted. “James and Peter may have been blind, Remus, but I’m not. You’ve been my best friend since second year. Did you honestly think I wouldn’t notice that he and you were together?”
Remus shook his head, clearing his scattered thoughts. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”
Lily’s smile dissolved and she shrugged. “I thought you’d tell me when you were ready,” she replied. “But, then, everything just sort of…fell apart at the seams.” She sighed and ran a hand through her dark red hair. “I should never have married you. You were so adamant about keeping your promise to James, though. And, truth be told, I needed you, Remus. I was selfish.”
“Oh, Lily, no,” Remus protested, but Lily held up a hand again.
“Yes, I was, love,” she whispered. “I knew you were in love with someone else, but I took you for my own selfish purposes anyhow.”
“Lily,” Remus murmured, but she shook her head.
“You kept your promise to James, Remus. You’ve taken care of me and you’ve helped me.” She stood and walked to the fireplace, looking into the flames. “I love James, Remus. I still miss him desperately and it still hurts; it always will. I’m better now, though.” Lily turned back to face him, smiling slightly. “And you helped me get there. I don’t need you anymore, Remus. Not as a husband, at least. I’d still like to keep you as a friend, though, it it’s all the same to you.”
Remus stood as well and joined her next to the fire. “What are you saying, Lily?” he asked.
She placed a soft hand on his cheek. “Go to Sirius, Remus.”
“Lily,” Remus stuttered out. “I can’t do that. James wasn’t the only one I made a promise to. I made one to you, too. I can’t just walk away from that.”
“You’ve done everything you’ve ever said you would do and more,” whispered Lily. “It’s time for you to be happy, Remus.”
“I am not just going to leave you for someone else, Lily,” he said forcefully. “It wouldn’t be right.”
“None of this is right!” she said shrilly. “Don’t you understand that?”
Remus stared at her in stubborn, resolute defiance.
“Fine,” she huffed out in frustration. She walked back to the couch and sat down, crossing her arms over her chest. Her eyes blazed at him with more life and passion than he had seen since the day James had died. “If it’s a fight you want, it’s a fight you’re going to get. Remus Lupin, I want a divorce.”
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Sirius pulled his head out of the fireplace as a knock sounded on the door. He turned back quickly and grinned.
“Sorry, Pete,” he said, “someone calls.”
Peter rolled his eyes. “All right, Pads. See you later.” Then he was gone.
Sirius stood and stretched as he made his way to his flat’s door. He opened it, a welcoming smile emerging on his face that died as soon as he saw who was standing on the landing.
He had a brief opportunity to utter a faintly surprised, “Remus” before his back was shoved up against the wall and the door was slammed closed. Remus’ lips were suddenly on his and Sirius found himself melting at the familiar tastes. Remus had always tasted of chocolate and parchment, though Sirius had always been curious about the last one. Now, however, there were new flavours to identify.
There was a hint of creamy mint, which signified to Sirius that Remus had changed toothpastes. His lips tasted of sweat when Sirius ran his tongue across them and it caused him to moan into the other man’s mouth, thinking about just why that would be so. Lingering around the edges was something Sirius couldn’t expertly identify, though he did know that it tasted vaguely…feminine.
Sirius froze. Lily.
He pushed Remus back against the opposite wall and they stared at one another, both panting to regain their breath. Sirius pressed his hands flat against the wall behind him, restraining himself from reaching forward, grabbing Remus’ shirt, and kissing the other man until he saw stars.
“Wha - what are you doing here?” he stuttered out in a whisper.
Remus’ eyes hadn’t left his. “Lily sent me,” he answered simply.
“Why?” Sirius breathed.
Remus shrugged. “This is where I’m supposed to be.” He searched Sirius’ face for a long moment before his lips quirked into a smile. “She’s asked for a divorce.”
That was all it took for Sirius to be across the small hall and crashing into Remus’ body. As their lips met again and their fingers began working buttons loose expertly, his mind screamed at him that Remus hadn’t explained why or even said that he had agreed to Lily’s demands, but that didn’t matter for all he knew Remus. The man was his and he always would be.
They made slow, clumsy progress down the hall and into Sirius’ room. Remus growled against his ear as the werewolf shoved him down atop the bed and removed the last of their clothes. Warmth surrounded him as Remus fell onto the bed on top of him and began to kiss a quick path across his chest.
Sirius could feel his erection caught between their bodies, grazing lightly against Remus’ stomach. He canted his hips upward and a groan of want emerged from between his lips. Remus chuckled low in his throat as his teeth teased at a nipple and his hand dipped down to Sirius’ thigh.
There was a sudden pressure and Sirius uttered a short hiss as he felt Remus’ fingers slide inside him. Soon enough, he was rocking his hips back and forth, desperately trying to match the rhythm of those probing fingers.
Remus slowly slid the digits out of him and Sirius whimpered pathetically at the loss of the pleasurable pressure. Remus laughed softly as he leaned in to kiss Sirius.
“Poor pup,” he murmured against his lips.
Sirius shifted a bit beneath him and his cock rubbed against Remus’. Both men moaned and moved their hips together, delighting in the sensations that coursed through their bodies. Remus readjusted and Sirius barely contained his groan of protest.
He spread Sirius’ legs and he could feel the tip of Remus’ erection tracing his entrance. He waited impatiently, but Remus made no further move.
“Remus,” Sirius whispered, begging, pleading, “please.”
Remus met his eyes, pupils blown wide with lust, desire, and…love. Sirius’ heart pounded in his chest as the other man bent down and kissed him.
“I love you,” he said against his lips.
Sirius’ breath caught in his chest. “I love you too, Remus.”
Remus’ eyes drifted back to his and Sirius felt a sudden clenching and burning sensation as Remus thrust fully inside him in one smooth motion. Sirius cried out and bit his lip while Remus paused to provide Sirius enough time to adjust to the intrusion.
Then Remus was thrusting again, Sirius’ hips arching up off the bed to meet his. His hand drifted to Sirius’s neglected erection and began to work around it as his rhythm increased. They panted and moaned to one another and Sirius cried out in ecstasy each time his prostate was brushed.
Sirius’ hands clawed at Remus’ back and his teeth bit into the sensitive flesh at the base of the werewolf’s neck. Remus gasped and his hand quickened its pace. Their hips pounded against one another’s, their hot, sweat-slicked chests meeting with each movement and inhaled breath.
“Remus!” Sirius gasped out as he came across the man’s hand and stomach.
Remus’ hips rocked faster, moist skin slapping against Sirius’ as he neared his climax. His hands dug into the flesh of Sirius’ hips and the dark-haired wizard threaded his fingers through the lighter strands. His back arched off the bed as he watched the desire spread through Remus’ eyes and etch itself across his face.
Remus shouted Sirius’ name as his release overtook him and the pleasure shuddered through his body. He thrust out his completion, his movements slowing before he uttered a breathless curse and collapsed across Sirius’ body.
They stayed like that for hours afterwards, wrapped in each other’s arms. They talked about the days gone past or lay staring at one another, brushing nonexistent strands of hair out of their partner’s face, simply for an excuse to touch them. They were finally happy, and that was all that mattered at the time.
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Remus returned to the flat one day a few months later pale and visibly shaken. Sirius rushed to him, his hands immediately rising to his lover’s face and his fingers threading through the soft, honeyed locks. Grey eyes carefully studied brown; travelled over sweat beaded brow and trembling, bitten and chapped lips. His hand soothed over a cheekbone, gently calming, softly mending.
Sirius held him tightly in his arms until the shaking subsided and Remus released a forced, tremulous chuckle.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured, the words falling over the skin of Sirius’ neck in short breaths. His grip tightened around Remus. “I don’t know what came over me.”
“It’s all right, Remus.” Sirius finally took a hesitant step back, studying the other man’s face again. “What happened?”
Remus’ eyes hardened and his hands clenched into fists. Sirius’ breath caught in his chest when he saw something feral rise to the surface. Full moon tonight…
“I ran into Snape in Diagon Alley,” Remus growled out in a low, harsh whisper. “He pulled me down into Knockturn Alley.” Remus’ eyes met Sirius’, anger, pain, and betrayal surging in their depths. “He had quite the story to tell me.”
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They met in Remus’ parents’ old, crumbling cottage, just as they had every full moon since they had left Hogwarts. Now, though, now there was one less Marauder. Now, they knew why.
Remus leaned against the old, cracked mantle as he watched Sirius pace the length of the living room back and forth. He was restless, eyes flicking to the door every few seconds, and Remus didn’t blame him. The wolf inside his head paced along with Sirius.
There was a creaking sound as Peter walked through the front entrance. Sirius stopped mid-step and stared at him. Peter waved a bit when he saw his two friends and joined Remus by the old fireplace.
“’Lo, Moony, Padfoot,” he greeted with a small smile. “It’s nice to have the group back together again, isn’t it?”
“We’re not all here,” Remus growled out. Peter raised his eyebrows at him questioningly.
Sirius shot him a quick look and waved a hand flippantly. “Don’t worry about him, Wormtail. The wolf’s been a bit on edge lately.”
“Ah,” Peter sighed knowingly. Remus felt the distinct urge to bite him.
Deciding that it was probably about time, he shoved himself away from the mantle and made his way to the kitchen.
“Where are you going?” Peter called behind him.
Remus paused, but did not look at the other man. “I think we should stay in the basement this time,” he replied. “The wolf’s been a bit…agitated the past day or so.”
Sirius glanced at him in confirmation before walking ahead and down into the basement. Remus and Peter followed. When they arrived at the base of the stairs, Sirius was nowhere to be seen. Remus shrugged at Peter and closed the door behind them. No sooner had the latch clicked shut before Sirius was out of the darkness and had Peter pinned against the opposite wall.
“S - Sirius?” he gasped in terror.
“Shut up,” Sirius snarled, fire blazing in his eyes. “Just shut the fuck up! We know what you did, you bloody, fucking bastard! We know it was you!”
“I - I don’t know w -what you’re talking about,” Peter protested. His eyes turned to Remus pleadingly. “Please, Remus, he’s gone mad. Help me!”
Remus gritted his teeth together, forcing the wolf back down as he shook his head. Sirius threw his head back and laughed.
“Help you?” he snapped maliciously. “Why would he help you? You killed James!”
“No, no, I didn’t!” Peter cried.
“Don’t fucking lie to me, you filthy rat!” Sirius screamed in his face. Remus’ eyes drifted to the window beyond their heads, judging their time. “We have all the proof we need; we know. We even saw it, Wormtail.”
Peter’s eyes widened. He glanced back at Remus, but quickly redirected his eyes when he saw the fierceness that Remus could feel within himself.
He took a deep breath and spoke quietly, “Why did you do it, Peter? There had to have been a better reason.”
Peter refused to look back at him and shook his head, unable to answer.
“That’s really the only reason you killed your best fucking friend,” Sirius snarled in outrage. “Because you were jealous?” He shook Peter by the collar of his shirt, beating his head against the wall painfully. “You killed him because he had a wife and a job and a life that didn’t revolve around you anymore and you were jealous?”
Peter was shaking beneath Sirius’ grip; Remus could see it from across the room. There was a sudden sharp pain at the base of his spine and he bent double, clutching his sides. He stood after a moment and ignored the other pains as best he could.
“Sirius,” he whispered scratchily. Sirius’ head jerked around when he heard the sound. “Go; get out of here.”
“Remus - what -?” he asked, his eyes narrowing in puzzlement.
“Go!” Remus shouted as the transformation began to overtake him. “You don’t need to be here; you don’t need to see this.”
Sirius hesitated for a brief moment before he sprinted across the room to the door. He paused beside Remus for a short second, running his hand lightly over the werewolf’s hair. A moment later, he was gone, the thick basement door closing and locking behind him.
Remus glanced up at Peter to see the man staring at him with wide eyes. When he saw the gaze, saw the changing gold eyes, his body shifted and dropped, leaving a rat in its place. The rat began to skirt around the edges of the stone floor, searching for an escape. Remus chuckled low in his throat, sounding more like a growl than a laugh.
“There’s nowhere to go, Wormtail,” he taunted, baring newly sharp teeth. “You’re trapped; just like the rat you are.” Then he was howling, head thrown back and body rippling as it tugged and pulled and morphed into a massive brown beast.
Moony shook out his fur and peered around the darkened basement, eyes keen when they landed on the shivering form of the rat. There was an insistent voice in Moony’s head, telling him to kill Wormtail. Moony shook his head roughly and raked a paw over his ear, trying to dispel the voice. It persisted.
Pack, Moony whimpered. The trembling rat gazed at him with wide eyes, not daring to move out of fear. Wormtail pack.
Wormtail killed pack, the voice insisted. Wormtail killed Prongs.
Prongs? Moony whined. The wolf remembered his pack mate. He had grieved for him as much as any human had.
His eyes shifted back to Wormtail and he growled threateningly. Wormtail squeaked shrilly and scurried away, towards the door. Moony followed slowly, stalking his prey in a way he had never been able to. The rat continued squeaking as it came closer and closer to the door. A body length away, Wormtail transformed and became Peter Pettigrew.
“Sirius!” he cried desperately, clawing at the door. The werewolf’s eyes narrowed and focused. With one final growl, he pounced.
On the other side of the door, Sirius sat at the base of the stairs, leaning his body against the reinforced door. His legs were pulled up to his chest and his head rested against his knees. His body shook as he listened first to the screams and cries of agony and then to the growls and yips of contentment. He clenched his eyes closed and prayed to whatever deity would listen that everything would be all right come daylight.