Write a letter to yourself as a child
Dear younger more optimistic self,
I've really no idea of how to start this letter because I know that most of what I will say will make you think twice about your decision not to run away after that confrontation you had with your brother. However I've been told that repenting is good for the soul so I suppose I should give this letter a chance before I dismiss it out of hand.
The Romans will come for you, there is no changing that, it has been written for you long before you were born. You will fight, you will bite but ultimately you will be subdued and put to work in their great army. You'll have very little understanding of how an army works, your brother will be there at your side and he will look after you. Stay close to him and try not to argue too much.
Whilst in service to the Roman Empire, you will meet many like you and one boy will stand out from the crowd. You won't know why but he'll catch your eye and you'll soon take up a role as protector. For some reason, this boy will ..bring that out in you and before you know it, you'll have a best friend for life ..well until things get complicated and you run like a little girl but ...that comes later and I'll get to that. Stop looking so petrified.
You'll meet a man ..well not so much a man as a boy, his name is Artorius but thanks to the cocky sonofabitch you'll soon learn is called Lancelot, Artorius will soon become Arthur. This boy will lead you, he will guide the way. Sometimes, you'll doubt him and sometimes you'll want to hit him but curb that and put the emotion to good use elsewhere.
Now, the years will pass, you'll form good friendships, you'll have your share of women and you'll enjoy the bloodshed but tragedy lays in wait.
You and the others will lose the men you consider brother-in-arms and you will lose your actual blood brother. I know it's hard to imagine as he's probably doing something to annoy you this very instance but he'll be taken from you, taken by a Woad arrow ...a poisoned arrowhead to be more exact. You won't believe it at first, you'll lash out, and hurt the ones trying to help you but death is one step in the journey. The anguish will nearly consume you whole if not for Galahad, don't turn him away Gawain, let him in ..let him help you or he'll bitch until you do.
The time will pass, the deaths will keep coming until there is a small group where once there was a great unit. The sorrow will begin to weigh you down, you'll feel that perhaps bitterness is the best solution to the pain that is eating you alive. Remember one thing, you have friends and you have something to live for. Don't let the hatred eat at you, Gawain, all it will do is twist and turn your every thought against you.
You'll earn your freedom but it will come at a heavy price, the lives of your friends, and Arthur the idiot that he is will now try and sacrifice his own self for you and the other Knights. He'll grant you your freedom but he will ask of you one last favour, a favour that none of you have to accept but how can you turn your back on Arthur? He who has led you and done all that he can for you?
However I must warn you, do not speak for Galahad, let him make his own choice, let him to be the one to decide if he stays or goes. You won't understand it at the time but the reason why you'll speak for him is because you cannot imagine being in battle without him at your side. You won't grasp the confusing emotions running through you until much later but let me cut a long story short, you'll find yourself in love with Galahad. That's right, you didn't read that wrong, you'll be in love with a man and you will be powerless to stop it.
Do not talk for him, Gawain, no matter what you feel, do not speak for him. Galahad will not talk to you for many days, it will take a lot of work to make up that one singular mistake and you will regret it the moment you see the look in his eyes. It isn't worth it, even if you have to ride into battle without him beside you.
The Romans are despicable creatures, remember this and let this steel you because it will give you the strength that you need to continue with the fight.
You may think now that you have your freedom that the fights would be over but they are just beginning. One battle will become two except the second will be the battle of all your choosing, you will stand at Arthur's side as he faces down the Saxons. The battle will be intense and two more will fall but you will survive as will Galahad, do not let the guilt of living distract you from the fact you are in fact alive. There's nothing wrong with surviving when others did not or hovered very close to death.
Now we get to the more distressing part of my letter, the part of my history that I wish for you to never experience. A time in my life that I wish I could go back and change and yet find myself facing the consequences of day in and day out. For some inconceivable reason (I claim temporary insanity) you will become a prime example of an arse.
Galahad will try to take your relationship one step forward and you will retreat five steps back, he'll keep pushing and you'll keep running. The moment he says the words 'I love you' you will run and you will then become the biggest arse that the Briton has seen. You'll insult your friends, ignore Galahad, twist every moment in your past until everyone else is to blame and you'll ignore all reality and all sense.
Do not do what I did, be yourself, do not run because you're afraid. I ran because I didn't know if I could be what Galahad wanted me to be, don't be an idiot like me, try for him, he's worth it and for Arthur's God, say the words that have been practically dying to escape you since you laid your eyes on him. All that I had is lost to me now, do not lose what I had because it's ..the best life you could have considering everything.
What I will leave you with is this, words are meaningless without action.
I hope that my letter has enlightened you and if you require a strong drink, ask our brother, he'll know where to find some strong ale.
Stay strong,
-An older Gawain
Muse : Gawain
Fandom : King Arthur (Misc. Movies/Mythology)
Word Count : 1,176
I've really no idea of how to start this letter because I know that most of what I will say will make you think twice about your decision not to run away after that confrontation you had with your brother. However I've been told that repenting is good for the soul so I suppose I should give this letter a chance before I dismiss it out of hand.
The Romans will come for you, there is no changing that, it has been written for you long before you were born. You will fight, you will bite but ultimately you will be subdued and put to work in their great army. You'll have very little understanding of how an army works, your brother will be there at your side and he will look after you. Stay close to him and try not to argue too much.
Whilst in service to the Roman Empire, you will meet many like you and one boy will stand out from the crowd. You won't know why but he'll catch your eye and you'll soon take up a role as protector. For some reason, this boy will ..bring that out in you and before you know it, you'll have a best friend for life ..well until things get complicated and you run like a little girl but ...that comes later and I'll get to that. Stop looking so petrified.
You'll meet a man ..well not so much a man as a boy, his name is Artorius but thanks to the cocky sonofabitch you'll soon learn is called Lancelot, Artorius will soon become Arthur. This boy will lead you, he will guide the way. Sometimes, you'll doubt him and sometimes you'll want to hit him but curb that and put the emotion to good use elsewhere.
Now, the years will pass, you'll form good friendships, you'll have your share of women and you'll enjoy the bloodshed but tragedy lays in wait.
You and the others will lose the men you consider brother-in-arms and you will lose your actual blood brother. I know it's hard to imagine as he's probably doing something to annoy you this very instance but he'll be taken from you, taken by a Woad arrow ...a poisoned arrowhead to be more exact. You won't believe it at first, you'll lash out, and hurt the ones trying to help you but death is one step in the journey. The anguish will nearly consume you whole if not for Galahad, don't turn him away Gawain, let him in ..let him help you or he'll bitch until you do.
The time will pass, the deaths will keep coming until there is a small group where once there was a great unit. The sorrow will begin to weigh you down, you'll feel that perhaps bitterness is the best solution to the pain that is eating you alive. Remember one thing, you have friends and you have something to live for. Don't let the hatred eat at you, Gawain, all it will do is twist and turn your every thought against you.
You'll earn your freedom but it will come at a heavy price, the lives of your friends, and Arthur the idiot that he is will now try and sacrifice his own self for you and the other Knights. He'll grant you your freedom but he will ask of you one last favour, a favour that none of you have to accept but how can you turn your back on Arthur? He who has led you and done all that he can for you?
However I must warn you, do not speak for Galahad, let him make his own choice, let him to be the one to decide if he stays or goes. You won't understand it at the time but the reason why you'll speak for him is because you cannot imagine being in battle without him at your side. You won't grasp the confusing emotions running through you until much later but let me cut a long story short, you'll find yourself in love with Galahad. That's right, you didn't read that wrong, you'll be in love with a man and you will be powerless to stop it.
Do not talk for him, Gawain, no matter what you feel, do not speak for him. Galahad will not talk to you for many days, it will take a lot of work to make up that one singular mistake and you will regret it the moment you see the look in his eyes. It isn't worth it, even if you have to ride into battle without him beside you.
The Romans are despicable creatures, remember this and let this steel you because it will give you the strength that you need to continue with the fight.
You may think now that you have your freedom that the fights would be over but they are just beginning. One battle will become two except the second will be the battle of all your choosing, you will stand at Arthur's side as he faces down the Saxons. The battle will be intense and two more will fall but you will survive as will Galahad, do not let the guilt of living distract you from the fact you are in fact alive. There's nothing wrong with surviving when others did not or hovered very close to death.
Now we get to the more distressing part of my letter, the part of my history that I wish for you to never experience. A time in my life that I wish I could go back and change and yet find myself facing the consequences of day in and day out. For some inconceivable reason (I claim temporary insanity) you will become a prime example of an arse.
Galahad will try to take your relationship one step forward and you will retreat five steps back, he'll keep pushing and you'll keep running. The moment he says the words 'I love you' you will run and you will then become the biggest arse that the Briton has seen. You'll insult your friends, ignore Galahad, twist every moment in your past until everyone else is to blame and you'll ignore all reality and all sense.
Do not do what I did, be yourself, do not run because you're afraid. I ran because I didn't know if I could be what Galahad wanted me to be, don't be an idiot like me, try for him, he's worth it and for Arthur's God, say the words that have been practically dying to escape you since you laid your eyes on him. All that I had is lost to me now, do not lose what I had because it's ..the best life you could have considering everything.
What I will leave you with is this, words are meaningless without action.
I hope that my letter has enlightened you and if you require a strong drink, ask our brother, he'll know where to find some strong ale.
Stay strong,
-An older Gawain
Muse : Gawain
Fandom : King Arthur (Misc. Movies/Mythology)
Word Count : 1,176