Thoughts...
Today I was walking with Buddy in the halls to go to study hall and it turned out that Brenna was right next to us, little did I know. Whenevr I see her I get extremely pissed off, especially when she walks with Tim. I saw them together on tuesday and the thought of beating the shit out of him agian crossed my mind just because they were walking together. So basically when I see Brenna it ruins the rest of my day, COMPLETELY. Why does she want me to talk to her? (Ritorical question) The last thing she said to me is that she doesn't know why she bothers with me, I don't think i've felt more like shit than that day. I'm kinda of debating countinuing with steroids because I dont want to feel sad and shity because of Brenna and then probably flip my car on purpose hopeing to kill myself. I almost did that when I found out about her and Tim the first time. Driving home after he droped her off, I went literaly as fast as my car can go not caring if I flipped. Obviousily I didn't, but I definetley could of easily. That was the event that started the growth hormones...so yeah. The thing with livejournals is that you can say shit that you haven't told anybody and not have to be direct like you want them to know, if they want to read it...they can and they will. As of now Brenna is iming me, she said "wow so your really not ever going to say amything to me?" The wow is really bitching like I should talk to her....yeah right. Shes done the worst things to me in my life over and over agian and lieing to my face...writing this i'm about to have a rage. And now she took the smiley face out of her profile...it's probably just her not wanting me to know how good her life is like a month ago when she did that. If there was no consequences I would probably do something to ruin her...I don't know what though. Not to physically hurt her, but to make her realise what shit she put me through and i'm still going through...words cant express my hatred, honestly. I can tell her over and over the meanest things she has done to me (there is probably a lot of ties) and she would never get it. She'll probably read this...Brenna - Do you remeber what happened the first summer...before I had heart surgery...how could you have something that serious with somebody and then live your life the way you do now? Happy, enjoyfull, and without me. Your all I had and all I wanted, but like always, saying this means nothing to you. You know you don't give 2 shits about me...alls you want is someone to talk to for your problems...WELL YOUR MY PROBLEM!!! I have to go to Justins before 9 and now I dont even feel like it...i'll probably be in a better mood when I get there though. Not being home a lot helps a ton...if i'm "juicing" or not..well if you read this, wow for putting up with my shit. FUCK YOU IS MY MOOD