Phoenix Wright, "Four Times the Trouble", PxE
Title: Four Times the Trouble
Author: sweetbreakdown
Fandom: Phoenix Wright
Pairing: Phoenix x Edgeworth
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Crack, one-shot
Word Count: 1,362
Summary: Wright almost has a heart attack when he unlocks Miles Edgeworth's office.
When Phoenix Wright had walked into Edgeworth’s office that day, passed the bustling anxiety of Gumshoe (who, much to Wright’s amusement, had been utterly mortified that Edgeworth had locked the door on everything - shame that he handed Wright a spared key a month ago, ‘just in case’) he wasn’t expecting what he saw. Sure, perhaps a little kink on the laptop that he wanted to keep hidden or, more worryingly, a passed out Edgeworth... But four of them?
There was one sitting innocently on the couch, one leg crossed over the other, with a fairly relaxed smirk on his face. Another was at the chess board, taking great pleasure in the obvious defeat of the blue color (‘Not that it has anything to do with me’, Wright thought to himself with despair) another resting almost shakily against the ladder in the corner, and a final one sitting at the desk, looking as though he was torn between suicide or mass murder. Feeling the beads of sweat curl over his forehead, Wright now knew why the door had been locked and hastily turned, telling the worrisome detective that there was ‘nothing to worry’ about and that he would ‘sort out the problem as soon as possible’ before locking the door again.
The Edgeworth at the desk looked up and his eyes narrowed, casting fear through Wright’s poor little heart. He could barely deal with one angry Edgeworth, let alone four! But, casting his eyes around the room, the rest didn’t look as upset as desk-Edgeworth did. Couch-Edgeworth looked a little... Happier than normal. Chess-Edgeworth seemed slightly psychotic and, well... Wright could hardly contain the feeling of sickness as he saw how angry Ladder-Edgeworth seemed. Back against the door, Wright smiled sheepishly.
“My door was locked for a reason.” Desk-Edgeworth said snidely, his eyes dark - almost stormy. Ugh, not storms...
“We were all worried about you and I had a spare key so I thought it would be better for me to come and see than Gumshoe, who I think was close to wetting himself with worry-” Wright was cut off when Couch-Edgeworth suddenly burst out laughing, causing Wright to stare at the man as though he had just given birth.
“Edgeworth... Are you laughing?” Three resounding groans echoed around the room, and Wright let his eyes flick over the other three - three Edgeworth’s that were glaring at Couch-Edgeworth as though he was a black sheep, a bad egg - a shame to the family. What a creepy thought... A family of Edgeworth’s... “What’s going on, Des- I mean Edgeworth. You, that one at the desk. You seem at least a little sane.” A small smirk crossed Desk-Edgeworth’s lips and he sighed, motioning around the room with a strange vigor.
“I’m not sure. I was working when suddenly they just... Appeared. I think you should be careful of him there-” Desk-Edgeworth motioned at Couch-Edgeworth. “I believe he is the one that has become the side of me that likes humour and sexual relations.” Wright’s face creased up in horror as he looked over at Couch-Edgeworth, who winked back.
“H-How do you know he likes... Er... S-Sexual relations?” Wright asked, dreading the answer.
“He tried to get us all naked.” Ladder-Edgeworth replied with a strict, cold tone that reminded Wright of ‘The Demon Prosecutor’. Scary, real scary. Taking a deep breath, he looked back over at Desk-Edgeworth, who was blushing and looked as though he wanted to forget that ever happened. Rubbing the back of his neck nervously, Wright sighed and pondered for a moment. There was enough evidence to prove that something sick and wrong and just utterly disturbing was going on here, but how to sort it out?
"So, you have no idea how to remidy the situation?” Wright asked, and three of four of the Edgeworth’s shook their head. Chess-Edgeworth stood up and walked over, examining Phoenix with a critical eye, before he pointed out a finger between the man’s eyes and cried “OBJECTION!” Wright was speechless.
“Your hair is out of place, your eyes are too close together, your suit is wrinkled, the hanky in your pocket isn’t aligned perfectly, your hands are not held in a symmetrical manner, your speech is not perfect and your shoes are not clean! What is wrong with you!?” Looking over at Desk-Edgeworth helplessly, Wright shook a little. Desk-Edgeworth sighed while Ladder-Edgeworth seemed to enjoy his pain at the hands of the psychotic Chess-Edgeworth.
“U-Um... W-What?!” Wright asked and Desk-Edgeworth stood, walking over and talking as he moved.
“He is what seemed to be the side of me that is slightly obsessed with perfection. I believe it is the part of me that was influenced by von Karma in my you-” Desk-Edgeworth’s words were cut off as Couch-Edgeworth stuck out a leg with a gleeful laugh, causing Desk-Edgeworth to fall on Wright...
On Wright’s lips, to be more precise.
As the men, lips pressed against each others, stared, they heard a quiet poof in the background. They tore away from each other and looked away, staring at where Ladder-Edgeworth had been. Now there was just an empty space and Chess-Edgeworth seemed to be going quite insane because of it.
“Now there is only three of us! Three is not an even number and that is not allowed - it is perfectly inacceptable and I object! I demand for another to be made so that the even number may once again be made!” Wright stared at Desk-Edgeworth, eyes glazed over slightly, before grabbing the fabric around the man’s neck and pulling him close, kissing him again. Another ‘poof’ and Chess-Edgeworth was gone, his OCD rambles disappearing with him. Stepping away from Desk-Edgeworth, who looked less than happy, Wright looked over at Couch-Edgeworth - a man that looked as though he was about to pee himself with laughter. Moving away from Desk-Edgeworth, Wright sat down next to the insane side of his friend.
“Funny?” Wright asked cheerily, as though Desk-Edgeworth wasn’t glaring at him. Ah, if looks could kill...
“You kissed him! Does that mean that you’re a little bit homosexual, Phoenix? Because I know someone that i-mpphf!” Desk-Edgeworth had rushed over and put a hand over Couch-Edgeworth’s lips, a telltale blush on his cheeks. Glaring at Phoenix, he sighed and pouted a little. “Could you just kiss me, please?” He asked coolly, his eyes hooded and dark with something that wasn’t quite anger. A little shocked, Wright grinned.
“If you wanted it that bad, Edgeworth-” The glare the man gave him was enough to send Wright scurrying over, almost tripping in the process. Edgeworth grabbed his hand - it was shockingly soft, Wright noted, and the skin was warm and clear - and pulled him close, kissing him. Instantly, Couch-Edgeworth disappeared, as did the slight support “normal” Edgeworth seemed to have, making the man fall onto the couch, Wright on top of him, staring down at him as though he wanted to run away. Edgeworth looked away, a small cherry blush on his cheeks, and Wright laughed.
“You should have said something.” He told his friend softly, a small smile tugging at his lips. Edgeworth shook his head and looked away, trying to ignore the fact that Phoenix was leaning down to look him straight in the eyes.
“How long have you been living with them?” He asked tenderly, brushing some hair out of Edgeworth’s face. The silver-haired man sighed and shrugged.
“About a week.”
“Sounds like hell.” Wright said with a laugh, still not moving. Why wasn’t he moving - that was the only thought running through Edgeworth’s mind.
“You have no idea.” Edgeworth replied, closing his eyes and just leaving Wright where he was, revelling in the kisses they had shared and the heat that the man - his crush - was sharing.
“Hey, Edgeworth.” Wright asked softly.”
“Hmm?”
“... If I kiss you, will you disappear too?” Edgeworth opened his eyes in shock and swallowed the sudden lump in his throat, blinking away his surprise.
“No. I shouldn’t think so.” Wright grinned, and then moved and kissed Edgeworth properly, the movement of lips on lips like a dance.
“Good.” Wright muttered against his partner’s lips, the smile in his eyes unmistakeable.
Author: sweetbreakdown
Fandom: Phoenix Wright
Pairing: Phoenix x Edgeworth
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Crack, one-shot
Word Count: 1,362
Summary: Wright almost has a heart attack when he unlocks Miles Edgeworth's office.
When Phoenix Wright had walked into Edgeworth’s office that day, passed the bustling anxiety of Gumshoe (who, much to Wright’s amusement, had been utterly mortified that Edgeworth had locked the door on everything - shame that he handed Wright a spared key a month ago, ‘just in case’) he wasn’t expecting what he saw. Sure, perhaps a little kink on the laptop that he wanted to keep hidden or, more worryingly, a passed out Edgeworth... But four of them?
There was one sitting innocently on the couch, one leg crossed over the other, with a fairly relaxed smirk on his face. Another was at the chess board, taking great pleasure in the obvious defeat of the blue color (‘Not that it has anything to do with me’, Wright thought to himself with despair) another resting almost shakily against the ladder in the corner, and a final one sitting at the desk, looking as though he was torn between suicide or mass murder. Feeling the beads of sweat curl over his forehead, Wright now knew why the door had been locked and hastily turned, telling the worrisome detective that there was ‘nothing to worry’ about and that he would ‘sort out the problem as soon as possible’ before locking the door again.
The Edgeworth at the desk looked up and his eyes narrowed, casting fear through Wright’s poor little heart. He could barely deal with one angry Edgeworth, let alone four! But, casting his eyes around the room, the rest didn’t look as upset as desk-Edgeworth did. Couch-Edgeworth looked a little... Happier than normal. Chess-Edgeworth seemed slightly psychotic and, well... Wright could hardly contain the feeling of sickness as he saw how angry Ladder-Edgeworth seemed. Back against the door, Wright smiled sheepishly.
“My door was locked for a reason.” Desk-Edgeworth said snidely, his eyes dark - almost stormy. Ugh, not storms...
“We were all worried about you and I had a spare key so I thought it would be better for me to come and see than Gumshoe, who I think was close to wetting himself with worry-” Wright was cut off when Couch-Edgeworth suddenly burst out laughing, causing Wright to stare at the man as though he had just given birth.
“Edgeworth... Are you laughing?” Three resounding groans echoed around the room, and Wright let his eyes flick over the other three - three Edgeworth’s that were glaring at Couch-Edgeworth as though he was a black sheep, a bad egg - a shame to the family. What a creepy thought... A family of Edgeworth’s... “What’s going on, Des- I mean Edgeworth. You, that one at the desk. You seem at least a little sane.” A small smirk crossed Desk-Edgeworth’s lips and he sighed, motioning around the room with a strange vigor.
“I’m not sure. I was working when suddenly they just... Appeared. I think you should be careful of him there-” Desk-Edgeworth motioned at Couch-Edgeworth. “I believe he is the one that has become the side of me that likes humour and sexual relations.” Wright’s face creased up in horror as he looked over at Couch-Edgeworth, who winked back.
“H-How do you know he likes... Er... S-Sexual relations?” Wright asked, dreading the answer.
“He tried to get us all naked.” Ladder-Edgeworth replied with a strict, cold tone that reminded Wright of ‘The Demon Prosecutor’. Scary, real scary. Taking a deep breath, he looked back over at Desk-Edgeworth, who was blushing and looked as though he wanted to forget that ever happened. Rubbing the back of his neck nervously, Wright sighed and pondered for a moment. There was enough evidence to prove that something sick and wrong and just utterly disturbing was going on here, but how to sort it out?
"So, you have no idea how to remidy the situation?” Wright asked, and three of four of the Edgeworth’s shook their head. Chess-Edgeworth stood up and walked over, examining Phoenix with a critical eye, before he pointed out a finger between the man’s eyes and cried “OBJECTION!” Wright was speechless.
“Your hair is out of place, your eyes are too close together, your suit is wrinkled, the hanky in your pocket isn’t aligned perfectly, your hands are not held in a symmetrical manner, your speech is not perfect and your shoes are not clean! What is wrong with you!?” Looking over at Desk-Edgeworth helplessly, Wright shook a little. Desk-Edgeworth sighed while Ladder-Edgeworth seemed to enjoy his pain at the hands of the psychotic Chess-Edgeworth.
“U-Um... W-What?!” Wright asked and Desk-Edgeworth stood, walking over and talking as he moved.
“He is what seemed to be the side of me that is slightly obsessed with perfection. I believe it is the part of me that was influenced by von Karma in my you-” Desk-Edgeworth’s words were cut off as Couch-Edgeworth stuck out a leg with a gleeful laugh, causing Desk-Edgeworth to fall on Wright...
On Wright’s lips, to be more precise.
As the men, lips pressed against each others, stared, they heard a quiet poof in the background. They tore away from each other and looked away, staring at where Ladder-Edgeworth had been. Now there was just an empty space and Chess-Edgeworth seemed to be going quite insane because of it.
“Now there is only three of us! Three is not an even number and that is not allowed - it is perfectly inacceptable and I object! I demand for another to be made so that the even number may once again be made!” Wright stared at Desk-Edgeworth, eyes glazed over slightly, before grabbing the fabric around the man’s neck and pulling him close, kissing him again. Another ‘poof’ and Chess-Edgeworth was gone, his OCD rambles disappearing with him. Stepping away from Desk-Edgeworth, who looked less than happy, Wright looked over at Couch-Edgeworth - a man that looked as though he was about to pee himself with laughter. Moving away from Desk-Edgeworth, Wright sat down next to the insane side of his friend.
“Funny?” Wright asked cheerily, as though Desk-Edgeworth wasn’t glaring at him. Ah, if looks could kill...
“You kissed him! Does that mean that you’re a little bit homosexual, Phoenix? Because I know someone that i-mpphf!” Desk-Edgeworth had rushed over and put a hand over Couch-Edgeworth’s lips, a telltale blush on his cheeks. Glaring at Phoenix, he sighed and pouted a little. “Could you just kiss me, please?” He asked coolly, his eyes hooded and dark with something that wasn’t quite anger. A little shocked, Wright grinned.
“If you wanted it that bad, Edgeworth-” The glare the man gave him was enough to send Wright scurrying over, almost tripping in the process. Edgeworth grabbed his hand - it was shockingly soft, Wright noted, and the skin was warm and clear - and pulled him close, kissing him. Instantly, Couch-Edgeworth disappeared, as did the slight support “normal” Edgeworth seemed to have, making the man fall onto the couch, Wright on top of him, staring down at him as though he wanted to run away. Edgeworth looked away, a small cherry blush on his cheeks, and Wright laughed.
“You should have said something.” He told his friend softly, a small smile tugging at his lips. Edgeworth shook his head and looked away, trying to ignore the fact that Phoenix was leaning down to look him straight in the eyes.
“How long have you been living with them?” He asked tenderly, brushing some hair out of Edgeworth’s face. The silver-haired man sighed and shrugged.
“About a week.”
“Sounds like hell.” Wright said with a laugh, still not moving. Why wasn’t he moving - that was the only thought running through Edgeworth’s mind.
“You have no idea.” Edgeworth replied, closing his eyes and just leaving Wright where he was, revelling in the kisses they had shared and the heat that the man - his crush - was sharing.
“Hey, Edgeworth.” Wright asked softly.”
“Hmm?”
“... If I kiss you, will you disappear too?” Edgeworth opened his eyes in shock and swallowed the sudden lump in his throat, blinking away his surprise.
“No. I shouldn’t think so.” Wright grinned, and then moved and kissed Edgeworth properly, the movement of lips on lips like a dance.
“Good.” Wright muttered against his partner’s lips, the smile in his eyes unmistakeable.