+answering machine

[heartdissonance]

[Click.

Breathy huff.

It hangs up.]

Comments

[tiny_schemer]

So.

You're Shijima Kurookano?

[heartdissonance]

...More or less... [Drowsy thing, it seems.] Yes?

[tiny_schemer]

[cue some youthful curiosity] I heard from someone that you're really, really old! Is it true?

[heartdissonance]

I'm a little girl. [It's not a very earnest tone she's using.] Who's someone?

[tiny_schemer]

Uh-oh. Will he get in trouble if I say?

This person said you look like a little girl, but you're not. I wanted to know more about it!

[heartdissonance]

How can one look little without being little?

[tiny_schemer]

That's just it, right? I wanted to know how it was possible!

So would you tell me, miss? How old are you?

[heartdissonance]

You are very curious. Granny Me should be a talker, hmm?

[Generally she likes to toy with people when they're asking her questions, but those are usually- well, adults. She has to assume that this boy is either very young or very old, to be asking her this, and a very young child would be of no consequence, while a very old one would be very interesting. Answering will either have no bearing, or it will benefit her, so she lets out a low 'mrrr' sound and decides to roll with it.]

Probably... two-something.

[tiny_schemer]

Well, you know how it is - can't learn stuff if you don't ask questions!

[And his voice immediately loses all childish pretense, though unfortunately, nothing can ever change its timbre.]

I'm 302. So how'd you become immortal?

[heartdissonance]

[There's a very long pause. He's nearly a century older than her. She's not sure how to feel about that.]

A mishap, [she says finally, surprised.] I'm glad you've stopped speaking like that; children irritate me.

[tiny_schemer]

Brats in general are pretty irritating, whatever the age.

Anyway, Miles Edgeworth said that you make no secret of it, so I wanted to find out what kind of a person you were.

[heartdissonance]

Oh. [Her surprise begins to wane - and, she sounds more relaxed.] Miles. That's fine.

[Pause, pondering.]

I'm a sour thing, if that helps.

[tiny_schemer]

Not really. I have no idea what you're talking about.

Are you an alchemist?

[heartdissonance]

I'm only talking about being grumpy. But I'm nothing like that, no. I am an observer, a shinobi, a little bit of a granny, and too inhuman to count for much.

[tiny_schemer]

A shinobi... that's like... a ninja, right? Huh.

Did you ingest something that made you immortal, or are you a vampire or demon of some kind? That's the kind of thing I want to know.

[heartdissonance]

That's it precisely.

[Pausing, again. How to explain.] Someone... very wise created me. I'm not a vampire. I'm not a demon. I was simply put together with knowledge that only gods may possess.

It's not really common where I'm from, anyway.