[25] Cirque du Freak | PG-13 | Qmi
As I've been hating everything I write for a while, so I experimented with new styles to find something that worked. Turned out to be this one.
help_japan fic for doumyoujitsukas, who wanted happy Qmi. ♥
P.S. Thanks for the tinfoil helmet, anon. I do like shiny things.
Cirque du Freak
Henry, Zhou Mi/Kyuhyun | PG-13 | 1425w
It's true: weird shit like this never happened in Canada.
Henry's pretty happy with his life. He loves his job, as tiring as it can be, because he can do all sorts of weird shit and get away with it. And, sure, music and dance and doing what he loves, too. (But the weird shit he gets away with - or is even asked to do on those equally weird shows - is a pretty big plus factor.) He loves his fans, even the crazy ones, though he admittedly likes them not too crazy. He loves the other members, even when they're teasing him or just being generally annoying.
Or, really, just plain weird.
*
"So you flirt by touching him all the time and he flirts by rejecting you all the time and saying mean things about you?" Henry's curiosity has always gotten the better of him. Weird shit is fascinating and there is little weirder than the courtship of the gaming king singing genius and the sparkly butterfly. He has his composing notebook open and ready for notes as he interviews Zhou Mi en route to their weekly radio show.
Zhou Mi huffs. "Henry. No. Don't be stupid. We both say mean things to each other! It's like the...adult equivalent of pushing each other down on the playground."
Henry squints at him in the dim light of the van. "But you don't say mean things about him."
Zhou Mi scowls and folds his arms. "I do too!" After a moment, the scowl fades into a frown as he admits, reluctantly, "Well, I'm not very good at saying mean things. But how can I? He's so good at everything! I mean, not at fashion, but he looks good in pretty much everything anyway so it doesn't matter. And his skin is a disaster, he should really listen to me about that, but he's so handsome regardless. And maybe he should game less, but, you know, he wouldn't be Kyuhyun if he didn't game. It'd be like me not shopping! I can't really help that it's hard to find mean things to say, right? Maybe you can help me, Henry! ...Henry?"
A slap to his shoulder jerks Henry out of his doze, notebook sliding off his lap and slapping onto the floor of the van. Zhou Mi glares.
"Yah, Henry, I hope you get a girlfriend soon..."
Henry shakes his head sleepily at him. "Dude, Zhou Mi, you do suck at saying mean things. This is like you wishing my birthday would come sooner."
"So I can do mean things to you." Zhou Mi is indignant.
"...Right," mumbles Henry and nods off again.
*
Kyuhyun frowns and says, "I'm not weird."
Henry snorts. "Er, yeah, absolutely. Totally." He backtracks at the evil eye Kyuhyun gives him. No need to get on the wrong side of that weirdo, for sure. He chews on the end of his pen and reconsiders his approach. "Uh, tell me about Zhou Mi instead? He's weird, right?"
"The weirdest," Kyuhyun agrees meanly. He continues:
"Too tall and skinny, no athletic abilities to speak of, weird taste in food, obsessive shopper, likes to selca way too much, always cares about how he looks, what are his clothes sometimes, and he basically talks all the time and won't ever leave me in peace--"
Henry scrambles to get it all down in his cramped, rushed handwriting. "Right! And he wears girl sunglasses! And those stickers on his luggage, what is up with that?"
He looks up after realizing silence has fallen and realizes Kyuhyun is looking at him coldly from across the table. It is possible his game is even paused on his laptop. Henry gulps.
"If you don't like him, you should stop spending time with him."
Kyuhyun's voice is unfriendly. His eyes are dark. He's not joking.
And you think Heechul is weird, Henry thinks at him. Dude. "I was just kidding," he says hurriedly. "I love Zhou Mi. He's great! We've been getting along super well here in Taiwan, right? You can tell. The radio shows and everything. He's just swell."
Kyuhyun nods after a moment, decisive. He resumes his game. Henry breathes a sigh of relief and clutches at his notebook as he stands up. It's probably past time for him to get out of here and go find another weirdo to interview about weirdness.
He's stalled two steps from the door as Kyuhyun remarks, quite casually, "But he's not the one you're closest to, is he?"
Henry wonders if there's supposed to be that underlying threat in an otherwise innocent question. Better to err on the safe side. "No," he says cautiously. "Uh, naturally not, because he is not the closest to me either. Obviously I am closest to, um, Donghae. Bye!"
*
(Donghae tackles him onto the couch for no reason the next night and Henry splutters and gasps for air until he finally pries out of Donghae, amidst the firm squeezing of Donghae's arms banded around his chest, that Donghae is absolutely delighted to be his favorite.
So delighted he is willing to buy Henry another Angry Birds t-shirt, after which he really is Henry's favorite.)
*
So Henry's life is pretty good and his relationship with the other members is pretty good, even if they're weird. Doesn't mean there aren't problems sometimes, though, or that he doesn't occasionally wish he were back in Canada, where weird shit like this didn't happen.
Okay, no, he never really means that. Henry's a fan of weird shit. He thinks it's fascinating. He wouldn't trade all of this for being back in Canada, no way.
But there are things, man, that Henry just doesn't need to see, you know?
Kyuhyun and Zhou Mi making out against the wall of a hallway, for instance. Now, Henry is all for their "close relationship" (as Zhou Mi puts it, earnestly, as if he thinks Henry is stupid, or maybe it's Zhou Mi that's- yeah, it's that one), but when "close" translates to "Kyuhyun's hand down the front of Zhou Mi's skintight jeans and Zhou Mi's mouth leaving marks on Kyuhyun's neck"... Henry could do with a room. To put them in. And close the door behind them. Then probably to lock, for everyone's continued well-being.
"You look traumatized," Ryeowook says with concern when Henry makes it to the kitchen after plastering himself against the opposing hallway wall and inching rapidly past with his eyes closed.
"I am," he groans. "Kyuhyun and Zhou Mi- In the hallway-"
"Oh!" says Ryeowook and promptly dashes into the hallway Henry just vacated with prejudice. Henry stares after him, almost a little offended at how fast he left. Ryeowook returns after a moment, however, beaming and holding up his phone in triumph.
"Pictures," he says brightly.
Henry lights up. Ryeowook, he thinks admiringly, is far more evil than he ever might have imagined at the beginning. "Blackmail?"
"What?" Ryeowook widens his eyes. He protests softly, "No, I thought they might like a scrapbook of their memories throughout the years..."
Henry stares again.
"I'm kidding. Of course it's for blackmail. C'mon, Henry, let's see if we can traumatize Sungmin with them first."
Definitely more evil than he could have ever imagined. Ryeowook is such a weird little shit. Henry loves it, and trails after Ryeowook happily as they go hunt down Sungmin.
*
(Sungmin shrieks and covers his eyes in dismay. "Don't you dare show me Zhou Mi's penis," he shouts. "I don't want to see it. Especially not if Kyuhyun is touching it! I only ever want to see it if it's right in front of me and I'm about to put my mouth on-"
Henry shoves Ryeowook ahead of him as they trip and fumble to be the first out the door.)
*
"You're a freak," he tells Zhou Mi with a wide grin.
"Stop learning from Kyuhyun!"
"If we both say it, it must be true."
Zhou Mi pushes him with a pout. "No, it just means you're both mean. Seriously, Henry, don't hang out with him."
Henry gets it. Kyuhyun's kind of a jerk in that sneaky, quiet way. He likes to be a jerk to Zhou Mi most of all, because they're the closest. Of course Zhou Mi wouldn't want anyone else to pick up Kyuhyun's jerky habits. Not if it means anyone else getting closer to Kyuhyun than him.
Zhou Mi, Henry thinks cheerfully, is kind of stupidly obvious. He's lucky Henry loves him anyway. And, apparently, that mean jerk Kyuhyun does too.
They're a band of weirdos, they are. Henry's pretty cool with that.
help_japan fic for doumyoujitsukas, who wanted happy Qmi. ♥
P.S. Thanks for the tinfoil helmet, anon. I do like shiny things.
Cirque du Freak
Henry, Zhou Mi/Kyuhyun | PG-13 | 1425w
It's true: weird shit like this never happened in Canada.
Henry's pretty happy with his life. He loves his job, as tiring as it can be, because he can do all sorts of weird shit and get away with it. And, sure, music and dance and doing what he loves, too. (But the weird shit he gets away with - or is even asked to do on those equally weird shows - is a pretty big plus factor.) He loves his fans, even the crazy ones, though he admittedly likes them not too crazy. He loves the other members, even when they're teasing him or just being generally annoying.
Or, really, just plain weird.
*
"So you flirt by touching him all the time and he flirts by rejecting you all the time and saying mean things about you?" Henry's curiosity has always gotten the better of him. Weird shit is fascinating and there is little weirder than the courtship of the gaming king singing genius and the sparkly butterfly. He has his composing notebook open and ready for notes as he interviews Zhou Mi en route to their weekly radio show.
Zhou Mi huffs. "Henry. No. Don't be stupid. We both say mean things to each other! It's like the...adult equivalent of pushing each other down on the playground."
Henry squints at him in the dim light of the van. "But you don't say mean things about him."
Zhou Mi scowls and folds his arms. "I do too!" After a moment, the scowl fades into a frown as he admits, reluctantly, "Well, I'm not very good at saying mean things. But how can I? He's so good at everything! I mean, not at fashion, but he looks good in pretty much everything anyway so it doesn't matter. And his skin is a disaster, he should really listen to me about that, but he's so handsome regardless. And maybe he should game less, but, you know, he wouldn't be Kyuhyun if he didn't game. It'd be like me not shopping! I can't really help that it's hard to find mean things to say, right? Maybe you can help me, Henry! ...Henry?"
A slap to his shoulder jerks Henry out of his doze, notebook sliding off his lap and slapping onto the floor of the van. Zhou Mi glares.
"Yah, Henry, I hope you get a girlfriend soon..."
Henry shakes his head sleepily at him. "Dude, Zhou Mi, you do suck at saying mean things. This is like you wishing my birthday would come sooner."
"So I can do mean things to you." Zhou Mi is indignant.
"...Right," mumbles Henry and nods off again.
*
Kyuhyun frowns and says, "I'm not weird."
Henry snorts. "Er, yeah, absolutely. Totally." He backtracks at the evil eye Kyuhyun gives him. No need to get on the wrong side of that weirdo, for sure. He chews on the end of his pen and reconsiders his approach. "Uh, tell me about Zhou Mi instead? He's weird, right?"
"The weirdest," Kyuhyun agrees meanly. He continues:
"Too tall and skinny, no athletic abilities to speak of, weird taste in food, obsessive shopper, likes to selca way too much, always cares about how he looks, what are his clothes sometimes, and he basically talks all the time and won't ever leave me in peace--"
Henry scrambles to get it all down in his cramped, rushed handwriting. "Right! And he wears girl sunglasses! And those stickers on his luggage, what is up with that?"
He looks up after realizing silence has fallen and realizes Kyuhyun is looking at him coldly from across the table. It is possible his game is even paused on his laptop. Henry gulps.
"If you don't like him, you should stop spending time with him."
Kyuhyun's voice is unfriendly. His eyes are dark. He's not joking.
And you think Heechul is weird, Henry thinks at him. Dude. "I was just kidding," he says hurriedly. "I love Zhou Mi. He's great! We've been getting along super well here in Taiwan, right? You can tell. The radio shows and everything. He's just swell."
Kyuhyun nods after a moment, decisive. He resumes his game. Henry breathes a sigh of relief and clutches at his notebook as he stands up. It's probably past time for him to get out of here and go find another weirdo to interview about weirdness.
He's stalled two steps from the door as Kyuhyun remarks, quite casually, "But he's not the one you're closest to, is he?"
Henry wonders if there's supposed to be that underlying threat in an otherwise innocent question. Better to err on the safe side. "No," he says cautiously. "Uh, naturally not, because he is not the closest to me either. Obviously I am closest to, um, Donghae. Bye!"
*
(Donghae tackles him onto the couch for no reason the next night and Henry splutters and gasps for air until he finally pries out of Donghae, amidst the firm squeezing of Donghae's arms banded around his chest, that Donghae is absolutely delighted to be his favorite.
So delighted he is willing to buy Henry another Angry Birds t-shirt, after which he really is Henry's favorite.)
*
So Henry's life is pretty good and his relationship with the other members is pretty good, even if they're weird. Doesn't mean there aren't problems sometimes, though, or that he doesn't occasionally wish he were back in Canada, where weird shit like this didn't happen.
Okay, no, he never really means that. Henry's a fan of weird shit. He thinks it's fascinating. He wouldn't trade all of this for being back in Canada, no way.
But there are things, man, that Henry just doesn't need to see, you know?
Kyuhyun and Zhou Mi making out against the wall of a hallway, for instance. Now, Henry is all for their "close relationship" (as Zhou Mi puts it, earnestly, as if he thinks Henry is stupid, or maybe it's Zhou Mi that's- yeah, it's that one), but when "close" translates to "Kyuhyun's hand down the front of Zhou Mi's skintight jeans and Zhou Mi's mouth leaving marks on Kyuhyun's neck"... Henry could do with a room. To put them in. And close the door behind them. Then probably to lock, for everyone's continued well-being.
"You look traumatized," Ryeowook says with concern when Henry makes it to the kitchen after plastering himself against the opposing hallway wall and inching rapidly past with his eyes closed.
"I am," he groans. "Kyuhyun and Zhou Mi- In the hallway-"
"Oh!" says Ryeowook and promptly dashes into the hallway Henry just vacated with prejudice. Henry stares after him, almost a little offended at how fast he left. Ryeowook returns after a moment, however, beaming and holding up his phone in triumph.
"Pictures," he says brightly.
Henry lights up. Ryeowook, he thinks admiringly, is far more evil than he ever might have imagined at the beginning. "Blackmail?"
"What?" Ryeowook widens his eyes. He protests softly, "No, I thought they might like a scrapbook of their memories throughout the years..."
Henry stares again.
"I'm kidding. Of course it's for blackmail. C'mon, Henry, let's see if we can traumatize Sungmin with them first."
Definitely more evil than he could have ever imagined. Ryeowook is such a weird little shit. Henry loves it, and trails after Ryeowook happily as they go hunt down Sungmin.
*
(Sungmin shrieks and covers his eyes in dismay. "Don't you dare show me Zhou Mi's penis," he shouts. "I don't want to see it. Especially not if Kyuhyun is touching it! I only ever want to see it if it's right in front of me and I'm about to put my mouth on-"
Henry shoves Ryeowook ahead of him as they trip and fumble to be the first out the door.)
*
"You're a freak," he tells Zhou Mi with a wide grin.
"Stop learning from Kyuhyun!"
"If we both say it, it must be true."
Zhou Mi pushes him with a pout. "No, it just means you're both mean. Seriously, Henry, don't hang out with him."
Henry gets it. Kyuhyun's kind of a jerk in that sneaky, quiet way. He likes to be a jerk to Zhou Mi most of all, because they're the closest. Of course Zhou Mi wouldn't want anyone else to pick up Kyuhyun's jerky habits. Not if it means anyone else getting closer to Kyuhyun than him.
Zhou Mi, Henry thinks cheerfully, is kind of stupidly obvious. He's lucky Henry loves him anyway. And, apparently, that mean jerk Kyuhyun does too.
They're a band of weirdos, they are. Henry's pretty cool with that.