[13] writing 091212; qmi; pg
another writing exercise, done in about 15 minutes. pretty ehh but just wanted to see if i could do something with the lyrics.
北极星的眼泪 说不出的想念
原来我们活在两个世界
北极星的眼泪 你哭红的双眼
被淋湿的诺言 淹没在心理面
我抬头看着爱不见
it's only five months after he leaves and you can't stop thinking about him. you are plagued with memories of his smile - his stupid, gorgeous smile - and his voice and his touch. you were never anything to each other, you tell yourself, but it's a lie. even if you've never kissed him except in your dreams, you remember vividly the warmth of his side when he wrapped an arm around you and pulled you near. even if you never dared whisper i love you out loud, you told him every time you sang his songs. you wonder if he knew, if he knew and left you anyway.
he said it was for work. he said you'd keep in touch. he said of course you were still important to him - he'd never forget you. he'd never want to leave you out of his life.
he said all that so seriously, no trace of that smile - that stupid, gorgeous smile - on his face. you believed him, because he held your hands in his, because your heart ached to believe that he would never forget you.
he did keep his promise to stay in touch. he emailed. he called, when he had the time. he sent you pictures, once, of the new people he'd met and the new places he'd been. you kept them all, even though they were little pieces of your broken heart, puzzle pieces that built a picture that said he was happy without you.
the final puzzle piece fell in place when he sent the latest pictures, three weeks after you'd last heard from him. kyuhyun, the email said, and it startled you badly that he would call you that. kyuhyun, sorry i was out of touch for so long! here are some pictures! i hope you can come visit soon.
you can't, of course, and he knows it. you can't leave, when you are tied down with obligations to your family, to your teachers, to their expectations. you have a future that you can't run from, even if you run every night in your dreams, to china, into his waiting arms.
but in the pictures you see a girl, and he is standing with his arm around her. he is head and shoulders taller than her, and her hair is long, and she is smiling at the camera, but he is smiling at her. for a moment you can't breathe because there it is - the stupid, gorgeous smile you've been missing for five months - and it is directed at someone else.
so there it is, you think numbly.
five months since he's left you behind, and five months since he's started forgetting you.
you wonder if things would've been different if you'd ever said i love you out loud, if you'd ever kissed that smile. if only you'd dared, five months ago. if only you weren't trapped, now. you would go to him, and tell him, and maybe he'd look at you and tell you - it didn't matter, you were still too late.
you stare at the picture with the burn of tears in your throat.
you are five months late, a lifetime too late. you blink and close your eyes, the better not to see love slip away from you, just out of your reach.
北极星的眼泪 说不出的想念
原来我们活在两个世界
北极星的眼泪 你哭红的双眼
被淋湿的诺言 淹没在心理面
我抬头看着爱不见
it's only five months after he leaves and you can't stop thinking about him. you are plagued with memories of his smile - his stupid, gorgeous smile - and his voice and his touch. you were never anything to each other, you tell yourself, but it's a lie. even if you've never kissed him except in your dreams, you remember vividly the warmth of his side when he wrapped an arm around you and pulled you near. even if you never dared whisper i love you out loud, you told him every time you sang his songs. you wonder if he knew, if he knew and left you anyway.
he said it was for work. he said you'd keep in touch. he said of course you were still important to him - he'd never forget you. he'd never want to leave you out of his life.
he said all that so seriously, no trace of that smile - that stupid, gorgeous smile - on his face. you believed him, because he held your hands in his, because your heart ached to believe that he would never forget you.
he did keep his promise to stay in touch. he emailed. he called, when he had the time. he sent you pictures, once, of the new people he'd met and the new places he'd been. you kept them all, even though they were little pieces of your broken heart, puzzle pieces that built a picture that said he was happy without you.
the final puzzle piece fell in place when he sent the latest pictures, three weeks after you'd last heard from him. kyuhyun, the email said, and it startled you badly that he would call you that. kyuhyun, sorry i was out of touch for so long! here are some pictures! i hope you can come visit soon.
you can't, of course, and he knows it. you can't leave, when you are tied down with obligations to your family, to your teachers, to their expectations. you have a future that you can't run from, even if you run every night in your dreams, to china, into his waiting arms.
but in the pictures you see a girl, and he is standing with his arm around her. he is head and shoulders taller than her, and her hair is long, and she is smiling at the camera, but he is smiling at her. for a moment you can't breathe because there it is - the stupid, gorgeous smile you've been missing for five months - and it is directed at someone else.
so there it is, you think numbly.
five months since he's left you behind, and five months since he's started forgetting you.
you wonder if things would've been different if you'd ever said i love you out loud, if you'd ever kissed that smile. if only you'd dared, five months ago. if only you weren't trapped, now. you would go to him, and tell him, and maybe he'd look at you and tell you - it didn't matter, you were still too late.
you stare at the picture with the burn of tears in your throat.
you are five months late, a lifetime too late. you blink and close your eyes, the better not to see love slip away from you, just out of your reach.