(no subject)
tonight has been one of the biggest disasters of my intire life. just when i think brooke has changed for the better............the worst happens. so we are at 82 and yes i have myself some drinks on the way up and end up alittle smashed! but its funny how brookes "sober" streak decides to end tonight. yea so she ends up drinking too. a lot of dancing happens and who knows what else.....i'm there drunk....triing to sober up. by the end of the night i have my good friends in my ear about how i can't drive and making sure i have a ride home.....yet...i end up being the sober driver?!!? how did this happen one would ask??? well i have porno in my ear about how i should wait a second to drive home and if i'm at all dizzy to wait it out for it is not worth death to drive home. so as we are outside and i'm tring to convince him i'm ok. brooke is over with christopher doing i don't know what [and how am i suppose to?? i'm not there]. my friend is just triing to make sure that i'm ok to drive our loved ones home safe.........now i am in the biggest fight with brooke and allllllll helll is broken looose!!!?!?!?!? my faith in others has completely let me down. i don't know where things went wrong....for not sticking up for someone/thing that i had no idea was going on or wrong for that matter??? why is it that i get shit on for every dicision that i have made???? i get nothing but ridiculed for triing to be someones friend and to understand them for who they are.....in hopes that they will one day understand me? for GOD has misguided me to places i never meant to go. places in my heart that hurt so bad for the dicisions i have decided to make. yes i have made bad dicisions in my life...i don't doubt that! Right now i don't know where to turn for listening to someone that has such a stong impact in the way that i think and feel really sucks when they end up turning vicious in the end...when all my loves have warned me from the beginning. where do i go now????
at this moment i am really confused, tired, sad and alone to attempt to comprehend what just happened...[and to be completely honest...i have no idea what will happen tomorrow. for i know that she likes to save face to others....and if i breath a word of this...oh no!! but where does that leave me and my feeling for now??? for honestly and truely my heart is breaking from a "friendship" i thought i had. )o:
at this moment i am really confused, tired, sad and alone to attempt to comprehend what just happened...[and to be completely honest...i have no idea what will happen tomorrow. for i know that she likes to save face to others....and if i breath a word of this...oh no!! but where does that leave me and my feeling for now??? for honestly and truely my heart is breaking from a "friendship" i thought i had. )o: