there is beauty in the breakdown

[heartbleedsblue]

i dont know what i want from life anymore
i feel so lost right now like i dont know if this is what i should be doing
i shouldnt be at college im not that smart i got lucky all through high school
i dont want to be all bymyself anymore i feel like laughing and crying at the same time
i need someone to talk to someone who wont judge me and dosnt know me that well
i need someone to just hold me jsut for a little while just so i can forget about the world for a little while
i know this is jsut me adjsting to college and stuff but i feel really lost
right now i feel liek im in some sort if haze like im not really living like this like im watching myself
i cant even like i dont know
im tired
i need some sleep but i cant im worried
im so worried that im gunna fail
i feel like just breaking down rght now
i can handle this
im cursing again
i never curse only when im scared
which is what i am
im nervous
i feel as if like im i dont even know
i can not handle this at all
im losing it
im really fucking losing it
ther ei go
cursing again

i need to calm down
but i cant

i feel like i dont know anything