My tweets

[heartbeeps]

• Fri, 19:04: We're in a posh restaurant. As I finish my desert, my gf announces "I could really do with a big plop when I get in." #thisiswhatilivewith
• Fri, 20:49: I eat my pizza like a dartboard.
• Fri, 21:11: Apparently Ryan Giggs won Family Man of the Year at the Manchester United Player of the Year Awards.
• Fri, 23:26: Holy fuck Catherine Tate on The Office made my face fall off from being so unfunny.
• Sat, 09:20: Good morning. I am angry, upset, confused, scared. http://hrtbps.com/post/5684929885
• Sat, 09:59: I'm so angry with myself. Why the FUCK did I think I'd wake up this morning wanting to eat Shreddies? #shouldveboughtcocopops
• Sat, 11:37: Famously loyal family man and model professional Ryan Giggs is being interviewed on Football Focus this morn.I assume it'll be a pre-record.