(no subject)
So things...
when me and Matt first started going out things were amazing.. hes just an awsome kid..
but then things started going crappy.. I got into this real bad depression spell and Im still trying to break out of it at times.. but its slowly getting easier..
Matt stayed with me throughout the who process when anyone else would have left me..
again.. thigns are slowly getting better and its hard.. at least for me it is.. I dont want to chance who I am.. but I know I have to.. not jsut for Matt, but also so I can become a better happier person..
I dont know.. me and Matt have been hanging out alot lately.. I woke up today and I just really wanted to see him and say somethings to him because I was really happy.. I went to school and came home and called him and sometimes he just doesnt get it.. the little things he does just makes me feel so crappy.. I mean of course he doesnt realize it, but since Im so sensitive about alot of shit I do..
uh.. its so hard to stick to this process of getting better.. it would just be so easy to give up and go back to being real depressed and cry all the time..
Im kinda happy becasue today I actually made conversation with someone I really dont know very well.. and if you know me.. you know I HATE being left alone with someone becaseu I feel akward and never know what to say..
Today was a big step and Im proud of myself..
I just wish I could have told Matt and he could genuinly be happy for me instead of trying to get off the phone so fast.. It alwasy seems that when Im actually happy about something I tell Matt, he doesnt care.. and it brings me down.. I mean some of the stupidest little things make me so happy..
I hope he doesnt read this becaseu I remember once he got mad at me for writing about him in here.
PS-My last PINS meeting is today. ( the last one I was suppose to have that was suppose to be my last was cancelled bc he didnt show )
Wish me luck..
when me and Matt first started going out things were amazing.. hes just an awsome kid..
but then things started going crappy.. I got into this real bad depression spell and Im still trying to break out of it at times.. but its slowly getting easier..
Matt stayed with me throughout the who process when anyone else would have left me..
again.. thigns are slowly getting better and its hard.. at least for me it is.. I dont want to chance who I am.. but I know I have to.. not jsut for Matt, but also so I can become a better happier person..
I dont know.. me and Matt have been hanging out alot lately.. I woke up today and I just really wanted to see him and say somethings to him because I was really happy.. I went to school and came home and called him and sometimes he just doesnt get it.. the little things he does just makes me feel so crappy.. I mean of course he doesnt realize it, but since Im so sensitive about alot of shit I do..
uh.. its so hard to stick to this process of getting better.. it would just be so easy to give up and go back to being real depressed and cry all the time..
Im kinda happy becasue today I actually made conversation with someone I really dont know very well.. and if you know me.. you know I HATE being left alone with someone becaseu I feel akward and never know what to say..
Today was a big step and Im proud of myself..
I just wish I could have told Matt and he could genuinly be happy for me instead of trying to get off the phone so fast.. It alwasy seems that when Im actually happy about something I tell Matt, he doesnt care.. and it brings me down.. I mean some of the stupidest little things make me so happy..
I hope he doesnt read this becaseu I remember once he got mad at me for writing about him in here.
PS-My last PINS meeting is today. ( the last one I was suppose to have that was suppose to be my last was cancelled bc he didnt show )
Wish me luck..