(no subject)
As a hour and a half goes by. I finally hang up the phone the last time for the night. I think about every thing. I mean EVERY thing. I think it's so stupid the things I put myself through. I'm my own killer. My imagination, the murder weapon. I think about Sal. What we talked about, how I told him how hard it can be. How strong you have to be to get by. I think about how I wake up to go to work in five hours. I think about how Artie just did it in two hours the night before. I think about his relationships. That brings me to every one else's relationships. I now think about how I am in the strongest relationship I have ever been in. I think very few people could really know how happy I am when I fall asleep at night. Just knowing what I may have coming to me in a few years. If every thing stays as good as the past year and nine months, my heart will finally be what it was when I was just a kid. Sitting in my mothers arms while my Dad and Sister wrestle to the death on an open living room floor. My Dad died seven times a week and my sister never lost her title. There was never anything to worry about. I can't say every thing that happened that made me the way I am, or how my heart has been broken. Who wants to hear that anyway? I can say a girl and a few great friends have helped bring all the missing feelings back the past few years of my life. I couldn't thank them enough. I think I think to much. I think I'm going to sleep now.
Derek
<3erin
Derek
<3erin