Speechless (Jordan Staal/Sidney Crosby)
Title: Speechless
Author:heartandmindxx
Pairing: Jordan Staal/Sidney Crosby [Pittsburgh Penguins]
Rating: 14A
Summary: Jordan had always had a word for everything.
Notes: nefarious1729 and I had a thing where we decided to write different stories with the same prompt and the same pairing. This is mine. Hers is here!
Disclaimer: You know the deal. I don’t claim anything except the story. It’s fiction.
Speechless.
1435 words.
"Sometimes the english language is not enough to describe the spectrum of human
emotions that others can inspire into us, but I hope we can spend the rest of our lives
trying to give words to the speechless."
Ever since he could speak, Jordan had always wanted to have a word for everything. First, the basics- his first word, for the record, was ’sod’- and moving on to “big words” like ’visceral’ and ’antithetical’ by the time he was 7. He needed a word to describe everything, be it ’cute’ and ’soft’ for their dog Candy, or, when he got a little older, ’asshats’ and ’douchebags’ for his brothers.
Up to this point, he’d thought he’d been doing pretty well for himself. Rex and Therrien had been ’overbearing’ but ’well-meaning’, Max was simply ’crazy’ and he’d learned to classify Fleur, Dany, Ty, and now Matty under the umbrella term of ’goalie’.
Doing pretty well, except for one glaring flaw; he’d been playing with Sidney Crosby for three full years now, and by this point had almost given up on ever figuring him out.
-
Jordan figured he had six default emotional settings around Sid, but they could switch between each other at any given time of any given day, so Jordan pretty much ended up being a big hot mess whenever Sid was near him. Sid was, at the end of the day, the master of Jordan’s mental domain.
The six emotions were, in reverse order of frequency:
6. Worry
Sometimes, Jordan was so afraid of Sid overworking himself that, on occasion, he’d tried to sabotage his routines. He found out quite quickly that this was a terrible, terrible idea and that getting Sid angry was not the smartest thing to do.
But he did worry, all the time. Sid loved hockey, more than anything- Jordan knew that if Sid had to pick between playing hockey and breathing, between skating and eating, he’d try to find a way to live without the essentials. Sid had never imagined a life without hockey, had never even dreamt of it. There was no Sid without hockey.
When Sid had gone down with his ankle injury the season prior, Jordan nearly had to strap him down to the bed to keep him from going to the rink. Sid had no concept of health when it stood in the way of his passion, his lifeblood, his damn destiny.
So Jordan worried that one day, Sid’s life would be the death of him.
5. Pride and 4. Envy
Jordan found himself in awe of Sidney more often than not. He’d been playing with him, been friends with him for years now, seen him in the most unflattering of positions, seen him weak and vulnerable, but somehow, he’d never fully gotten over being completely star struck around him. In the early goings he had been so jealous of Sidney’s talent and power, knowing that he’d never be seen in the same light, even in the same category as a player of Sid’s calibre. He’d always be the third line defensive centre to Sidney’s superstar captain. He was a second overall draft pick, and a Calder nominee too, but he’d be playing the cello to Sidney’s (and Geno’s) fiddle for the rest of his time with the Penguins, and he could be sure of that.
But once he began to see him as Just Sid, not Sidney Effing Crosby or Sid the Kid or The Next One, but Just Sid, he found himself flushing with pride whenever he turned on the highlights of the night, or whenever he was asked a question about him in an interview. Whenever he saw Sidney score a goal or make a beautiful pass (almost every night- hence this being the most frequent of emotions) his smile would swell so much it would threaten to bust right off of his face.
Jordan would look down the bench at least four times a period to watch Sid discreetly, knowing he wouldn’t be caught because Sid’s eyes were always focused so intensely on the play. He loved to see Sid so passionate, pleased with the knowledge that he could see him with the same look in his eyes in a different situation, as well.
3. Ecstasy
Sometime during Jordan’s rookie season, around the time he scored his first hattrick in Toronto, Sid had made some sort of decision in his head that deemed Jordan worthy of a more physical relationship. Jordan knew there was something different as soon as he saw Sid’s face as he skated towards him after the overtime winner.
Sidney had a perfect body, perfect lips, and as Jordan learned, had a perfect mind, too. Sidney was such a student of life, so curious and desperate to learn, and above all a quick learner. Ten minutes into their first encounter and Jordan was already convinced that he’d never have better sex, ever. Sidney was the perfect Captain- so willing to do anything to please a teammate.
This was Jordan’s favourite of the feelings.
2. Joy
Jordan wasn’t talking about your run-of-the-mill, everyday happiness, here. This was unmitigated, unbridled, pure joy.
The same kind of joy that came when he scored a game-winning goal, or when they won a round in the playoffs. The kind of joy that came from monumental events, and could never come from just being around a person, from seeing them smile.
Or at least, Jordan thought that until he met Sid.
1. ?
This is where Jordan ran into a problem.
It was something that Jordan felt, beyond a glimmer of a doubt, every second of every day. And that wasn’t a problem, not really, the thing was he had no fucking clue what it was. It felt sort of like, a mix of everything else, but all at once, and all the damn time.
He’d always had a word to describe everything. But now there was this.
-
One thing Jordan knew, from their years of playing together, was that while sometimes he wasn’t the most talkative, and that sometimes he didn’t have a clue what you were saying, Evgeni Malkin was a great listener.
Because sometimes you just need someone to smile and nod at what you’re saying.
Jordan sat down next to Evgeni one day after practice and told him everything. Evgeni did exactly what he’d expected, smiled that grin and nodded in a way that made Jordan a little worried that he wasn’t following at all, but Jordan soldiered on. Everyone knew that Geno’s English had improved tenfold, but there was always that chance that he was faking it- something that had also improved drastically.
Having given up on the English language at this point, Jordan finished his long, drawn-out rant, and sighed heavily.
“Do you have a word for that in Russian?”
“Yuh,” Evgeni replied simply, “Любовь.”
“Loo-boff?” Jordan repeated, botching the word, “What the hell does that mean?”
Evgeni just smiled with that same old dumbshit goofy grin of his, and walked away to talk to Sarge.
-
Jordan doesn’t quite get what Evgeni’s told him until he’s fooling around with Sid a few days later. He doesn’t remember how it started, and it doesn’t matter- they do this all the time and it always starts in a similar way. An insult thrown one way, a ’Your mom’ joke back, and sooner or later they’re wrestling on the floor and pulling hair.
Later, when they’re spent and panting in a heap on top of each other, Jordan sighs and giggles happily. He can feel Sid’s heart racing next to his own and it’s probably symbolic of something but Jordan doesn’t give a damn either way.
“You’re retarded,” Jordan says between breaths, “I...”
He trails off as he realizes which word is on the tip of his tongue.
And then, he gets it.
-
A few games down the road, the game goes to a shootout, and Jordan watches Sid from the bench as the Igloo erupts into a mad frenzy. He can’t think of a word for Sid, not now, not ever, but as he looks around he knows he’s probably not the only one. And that maybe, between himself and the 17 000 strong behind him, they’ll be able to think of something.
The team spills over the bench to congratulate their captain on his winner. The building feels like it’s on top of them, buzzing with the electricity of the overjoyed fans, and Jordan wants to do this for the rest of his life. And as he looks over to see Sid’s smiling face beaming at him through the crowd of teammates, he realizes that he never wants to do it without Sid by his side.
Together, for the rest of his life.
And maybe he’ll find some more words to think about.
---
Drop a line. xo
Author:heartandmindxx
Pairing: Jordan Staal/Sidney Crosby [Pittsburgh Penguins]
Rating: 14A
Summary: Jordan had always had a word for everything.
Notes: nefarious1729 and I had a thing where we decided to write different stories with the same prompt and the same pairing. This is mine. Hers is here!
Disclaimer: You know the deal. I don’t claim anything except the story. It’s fiction.
Speechless.
1435 words.
"Sometimes the english language is not enough to describe the spectrum of human
emotions that others can inspire into us, but I hope we can spend the rest of our lives
trying to give words to the speechless."
Ever since he could speak, Jordan had always wanted to have a word for everything. First, the basics- his first word, for the record, was ’sod’- and moving on to “big words” like ’visceral’ and ’antithetical’ by the time he was 7. He needed a word to describe everything, be it ’cute’ and ’soft’ for their dog Candy, or, when he got a little older, ’asshats’ and ’douchebags’ for his brothers.
Up to this point, he’d thought he’d been doing pretty well for himself. Rex and Therrien had been ’overbearing’ but ’well-meaning’, Max was simply ’crazy’ and he’d learned to classify Fleur, Dany, Ty, and now Matty under the umbrella term of ’goalie’.
Doing pretty well, except for one glaring flaw; he’d been playing with Sidney Crosby for three full years now, and by this point had almost given up on ever figuring him out.
-
Jordan figured he had six default emotional settings around Sid, but they could switch between each other at any given time of any given day, so Jordan pretty much ended up being a big hot mess whenever Sid was near him. Sid was, at the end of the day, the master of Jordan’s mental domain.
The six emotions were, in reverse order of frequency:
6. Worry
Sometimes, Jordan was so afraid of Sid overworking himself that, on occasion, he’d tried to sabotage his routines. He found out quite quickly that this was a terrible, terrible idea and that getting Sid angry was not the smartest thing to do.
But he did worry, all the time. Sid loved hockey, more than anything- Jordan knew that if Sid had to pick between playing hockey and breathing, between skating and eating, he’d try to find a way to live without the essentials. Sid had never imagined a life without hockey, had never even dreamt of it. There was no Sid without hockey.
When Sid had gone down with his ankle injury the season prior, Jordan nearly had to strap him down to the bed to keep him from going to the rink. Sid had no concept of health when it stood in the way of his passion, his lifeblood, his damn destiny.
So Jordan worried that one day, Sid’s life would be the death of him.
5. Pride and 4. Envy
Jordan found himself in awe of Sidney more often than not. He’d been playing with him, been friends with him for years now, seen him in the most unflattering of positions, seen him weak and vulnerable, but somehow, he’d never fully gotten over being completely star struck around him. In the early goings he had been so jealous of Sidney’s talent and power, knowing that he’d never be seen in the same light, even in the same category as a player of Sid’s calibre. He’d always be the third line defensive centre to Sidney’s superstar captain. He was a second overall draft pick, and a Calder nominee too, but he’d be playing the cello to Sidney’s (and Geno’s) fiddle for the rest of his time with the Penguins, and he could be sure of that.
But once he began to see him as Just Sid, not Sidney Effing Crosby or Sid the Kid or The Next One, but Just Sid, he found himself flushing with pride whenever he turned on the highlights of the night, or whenever he was asked a question about him in an interview. Whenever he saw Sidney score a goal or make a beautiful pass (almost every night- hence this being the most frequent of emotions) his smile would swell so much it would threaten to bust right off of his face.
Jordan would look down the bench at least four times a period to watch Sid discreetly, knowing he wouldn’t be caught because Sid’s eyes were always focused so intensely on the play. He loved to see Sid so passionate, pleased with the knowledge that he could see him with the same look in his eyes in a different situation, as well.
3. Ecstasy
Sometime during Jordan’s rookie season, around the time he scored his first hattrick in Toronto, Sid had made some sort of decision in his head that deemed Jordan worthy of a more physical relationship. Jordan knew there was something different as soon as he saw Sid’s face as he skated towards him after the overtime winner.
Sidney had a perfect body, perfect lips, and as Jordan learned, had a perfect mind, too. Sidney was such a student of life, so curious and desperate to learn, and above all a quick learner. Ten minutes into their first encounter and Jordan was already convinced that he’d never have better sex, ever. Sidney was the perfect Captain- so willing to do anything to please a teammate.
This was Jordan’s favourite of the feelings.
2. Joy
Jordan wasn’t talking about your run-of-the-mill, everyday happiness, here. This was unmitigated, unbridled, pure joy.
The same kind of joy that came when he scored a game-winning goal, or when they won a round in the playoffs. The kind of joy that came from monumental events, and could never come from just being around a person, from seeing them smile.
Or at least, Jordan thought that until he met Sid.
1. ?
This is where Jordan ran into a problem.
It was something that Jordan felt, beyond a glimmer of a doubt, every second of every day. And that wasn’t a problem, not really, the thing was he had no fucking clue what it was. It felt sort of like, a mix of everything else, but all at once, and all the damn time.
He’d always had a word to describe everything. But now there was this.
-
One thing Jordan knew, from their years of playing together, was that while sometimes he wasn’t the most talkative, and that sometimes he didn’t have a clue what you were saying, Evgeni Malkin was a great listener.
Because sometimes you just need someone to smile and nod at what you’re saying.
Jordan sat down next to Evgeni one day after practice and told him everything. Evgeni did exactly what he’d expected, smiled that grin and nodded in a way that made Jordan a little worried that he wasn’t following at all, but Jordan soldiered on. Everyone knew that Geno’s English had improved tenfold, but there was always that chance that he was faking it- something that had also improved drastically.
Having given up on the English language at this point, Jordan finished his long, drawn-out rant, and sighed heavily.
“Do you have a word for that in Russian?”
“Yuh,” Evgeni replied simply, “Любовь.”
“Loo-boff?” Jordan repeated, botching the word, “What the hell does that mean?”
Evgeni just smiled with that same old dumbshit goofy grin of his, and walked away to talk to Sarge.
-
Jordan doesn’t quite get what Evgeni’s told him until he’s fooling around with Sid a few days later. He doesn’t remember how it started, and it doesn’t matter- they do this all the time and it always starts in a similar way. An insult thrown one way, a ’Your mom’ joke back, and sooner or later they’re wrestling on the floor and pulling hair.
Later, when they’re spent and panting in a heap on top of each other, Jordan sighs and giggles happily. He can feel Sid’s heart racing next to his own and it’s probably symbolic of something but Jordan doesn’t give a damn either way.
“You’re retarded,” Jordan says between breaths, “I...”
He trails off as he realizes which word is on the tip of his tongue.
And then, he gets it.
-
A few games down the road, the game goes to a shootout, and Jordan watches Sid from the bench as the Igloo erupts into a mad frenzy. He can’t think of a word for Sid, not now, not ever, but as he looks around he knows he’s probably not the only one. And that maybe, between himself and the 17 000 strong behind him, they’ll be able to think of something.
The team spills over the bench to congratulate their captain on his winner. The building feels like it’s on top of them, buzzing with the electricity of the overjoyed fans, and Jordan wants to do this for the rest of his life. And as he looks over to see Sid’s smiling face beaming at him through the crowd of teammates, he realizes that he never wants to do it without Sid by his side.
Together, for the rest of his life.
And maybe he’ll find some more words to think about.
---
Drop a line. xo