Keep Me Safe: Too old for this - Moonlight fic
[x]Story: Keep Me Safe
[x]Chapter Title: Too old for this
[x]Rating: PG
[x]Characters: Beth Turner, OC - Charlie (Beth's school social worker)
[x]Words: 1992
[x]Summary: Set when Beth is 16 years old, and beginning to get embarrassed by her attachment and need for her stuffed Vampire.
[x]Disclaimer: Not my toys, im just borrowing them =D
AN: This is a rather uneventful part, but it is necessary for the direction i want to take later parts in. And don't worry there will be Mick and MickBeth in the future, but for now this is backstory =D
16-year-old Beth Turner took a deep breath as she slid the note under the school’s social workers, known to the students as Charlie, closed door. She purposefully slide the note the whole way under the door so she couldn’t run back in a minute or two’s time and yank it back before Charlie returned to her office. Silently happy at the fact that she had been able to finally ask for help Beth smiled before walking off down the empty corridor to return to class.
Later in the day Beth looked up from her desk in English class, to see the Charlie talking in hushed tones with her English teacher at the door, the teacher and Charlie both turned to look at Beth and Beth nodded before gathering her books and her bag and silently leaving the class in Charlie’s wake.
“I got your note Beth, you said you wanted to talk?” Charlie asked as they walked down the corridor in the direction of the student welfare office.
“Ah yeah, I didn’t expect such a quick response though” Beth said a little red in the face.
“Well luckily for you, and me, it’s been a relatively free week,” Charlie said as she opened the door to the welfare office and ushered Beth through.
“Thanks” Beth said softly, before dropping her bag rather unceremoniously onto the office floor with a loud thud.
“Sounds heavy” Charlie said with a smirk
“Ah, yeah” Beth said blushing slightly.
“So Beth, take a seat” Charlie said as she sat down in one of the three leather chairs that occupied the room.
Beth took a seat and took a deep breath, she wasn’t sure how to start this conversation, so she was glad when Charlie spoke.
“You said on your note that there was something in your past that you wanted to talk about?” Charlie probed gently, her posture and tone very unthreatening.
“Ah yeah, um, it happened when I was four” Beth started before her mind drifted back to flashes of memory.
She couldn’t remember being taken, or being found, all she could remember was flashes of a woman in white and flames, she could remember inhumane growling and the pounding of her blood in her ears, and the overwhelming fear and confusion she felt.
“Beth?” Charlie probed, bringing Beth back from her memories.
“Ah, sorry, this is just hard” Beth said softly
“Just take your time” Charlie said before picking up a jelly snake from the bowl of lollies in the middle of the coffee table, “want one?” she said offering Beth the bowl.
“Ah, thanks” Beth said before grabbing a red one and shoving it in her mouth, anything to put of having to talk.
“What happened when you were four Beth?” Charlie asked softly.
Beth took a deep breath and decided to just dive right in and get the hardest part of the confession over and done with.
“I was kidnapped,” she said softly, the admission sounding foreign to her own ears, having never voiced it before.
“Oh” Charlie said rather shocked before regaining her composure, “well I can understand why this is so hard for you to talk about then” she continued.
“I’ve never told anyone before” Beth said, staring out of the window behind Charlie rather then looking her in the eye.
“Well I think it’s good that you are talking about it now” Charlie said before taking another snake from the lolly bowl.
“Thanks” Beth said softly before continuing, “to tell you the truth I don’t really want to talk about it, I don’t really remember much except how scared I was, but I kind of, well, ok this is embarrassing” Beth said beginning to ramble and lose Charlie as she leant over the side of her chair to grab her bag.
She took another deep breath as she unzipped her bag and pulled out a rather worn stuffed toy.
“This is, um, well he doesn’t have a name actually” Beth said holding out the stuffed vampire for Charlie to see.
Beth could tell that Charlie was confused, and began to clarify what she was going on about, “I got him after I was kidnapped, he had a name but I forgot it, he um, keeps me safe, well he makes me feel safe, I know he is a stuffed vampire so he couldn’t actually keep me safe but he makes me feel better” Beth shot out in one breath, her cheeks burning red with embarrassment.
“Well my stuffed toy is a gorilla called Trevor” Charlie replied with a smile, laughing slightly as Beth lifted her head to regard her with a confused look.
“I’ve had him since I was 10, I got him at the zoo when I went with my mum and she promised me I could get something from the gift shop, I wanted the biggest stuffed toy they had, which was bigger then me at the time, but mum wouldn’t get it for me, so we settled on Trevor” Charlie said smiling.
“A gorilla called Trevor? Well, that’s certainly different”, Beth said smiling, glad that Charlie didn’t seem to judge her for being a 16-year-old carrying around a stuffed toy.
“Trevor was the name of the boy I sat next to in school” Charlie replied without skipping a beat before continuing, “so why doesn’t Mr vampire have a name?”
“He did, I think, I don’t really remember, I never told my mum what it was apparently, it was a secret and over the years I guess I just forgot it, so he is officially nameless” Beth replied as she sat her vampire on her knee and fiddled with his stuffed hands.
“Why a vampire?” Charlie questioned.
“I’m not sure, I asked my mother once and she chuckled and said I was addiment that I wanted a vampire. Before I was, ah, taken, I had a pink fluffy rabbit called roger, but after I was taken I didn’t want him anymore, apparently I dragged mum into a toy shop and raided the place until I found my vampire, she didn’t understand it at the time, but she said I did, no however neither of us understand it” Beth replied.
“Well I’m sure there is a reason behind it” Charlie reasoned.
“I just wish I knew, it’s like its in the back of my mind, and I’ve tried to remember what happened to me, just so I can understand why I feel the way I feel sometimes for no apparent reason, but I just can’t get to the memories, I know they are there but it’s like there Is a wall blocking me from getting to them” Beth said, an air of frustration in her tone.
“Its called repression” Charlie replied, “it’s our subconscious protecting us by hiding away memories that are traumatic or stressful.”
“But I want to remember what happened, its like this huge chunk of who I am is hidden from me” Beth said in frustration.
“You will be able to remember when you are ready,” Charlie said softly.
“Its just frustrating you know, I mean I know that he” Beth held up the stuffed vampire, “had a name, and I know it was important, but for the life of me I can’t remember what it was or why it was important” Beth huffed.
Charlie was silent for a moment before speaking, “does he always come to school with you?”
Beth felt her cheeks go red as she stared past Charlie, wondering how Charlie so easily found the real reason that Beth had wanted to come speak to her.
“Yes” Beth said with a hint of embarrassment. “And it’s embarrassing, I mean I have to be careful how far I open my bag and where I leave my bag, because I know that no one would understand, and its just embarrassing, like I try to leave him at home, and I can get out the door and to the bus stop, but I don’t know what happens, I start to freak out and I see people all around me like strangers and I keep thinking that one of them is going to kidnap me again, and I end up running home to grab him” Beth said softly, a hint of a tear threatening to fall from her shut eyes.
“That’s quite normal, it’s like young children not wanting to leave their parents to go to school, their parents are safe and familiar, but school is strange and big and scary, its called separation anxiety. In your case, and I hope you wont take this the wrong way, but it seems with being kidnapped that there is a part of you that is still that terrified 4-year-old girl who has been taken from her parents. Your vampire is from a time when you were returned to your safe haven, your parents, and you associate having him with you as being safe,” Charlie said with sincerity.
“Is there anyway to stop it, like to change it?” Beth asked softly, subconsciously hugging the vampire tighter to her chest, the thought of parting with it scaring her.
“Yes, to some degree, but you will need to find something that can replace it, it doesn't have to be something physical, but something that reminds you of who you are and where you are now, something that confirms to you that you are not still a scared 4-year-old girl,” Charlie replied, noting Beth’s tightened grip on the vampire.
“Something like what though?” Beth asked.
“It can be anything, a song, a photo, a piece of jewellery, anything, but its not something that you can just choose and transfer the connection you have with your stuffed vampire to, it will take time, but it can be done” Charlie said.
“So like a photo of him?” Beth asked, holding the vampire at arms length and looking him over.
“You could try that yes” Charlie said with a smile.
Beth pondered for a moment before grinning, she liked the idea, she looked to Charlie and smiled.
“Have you ah, got a camera?” Beth asked softly, not wanting to admit that she was too embarrassed by her attachment to the stuffed toy to ask anyone else.
“Yeah, give me a moment” Charlie said smiling before standing up and heading to her desk in the corner of the office.
Beth sat with the vampire in her lap picking at a loose thread on his jacket, she heard Charlie rummaging around in her desk draw and smiled when Charlie made a noise of achievement and turned around to face Beth with a camera held in one hand.
Beth smiled and hugged the vamp to her chest.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A few hours later Beth stood in front of her mirror with a smile on her face. After school she had gone shopping, looking for a specific piece of jewellery that she had found after much sweat and frustration. Upon finding the piece Beth’s enthusiasm had been turned back up and she raced home to do a little photo resizing on her computer.
Now with the pictures of her and her stuffed vampire correctly sized she had placed them on the opposing inner walls of the new silver locket she had bought. She dangled the heart shaped locket in front of her neck before looping the ends and her hands around her back to fasten the clasp.
Removing her hands Beth let the locket fall with a pleasant heaviness to rest just above her heart.
Raising a hand she fingered the locket as she looked at her reflection in the mirror, before sweeping her eyes to the worn stuffed vampire sitting on her bed, she smiled and opened the clasp on the locket before looking down at the twin pictures of her with the vampire.
Beth smiled contentedly before turning on her heel and facing the stuffed vampire.
“Now, I need to find a permanent place for you to sit”
---FIN---
So... what did you think? Comments make my day, let me know if you want more =D
ALL PARTS - In Chronological order:
Out with the old, In with the new Beth is 4 years old
Cause and Effect Beth is 9 years old
Too old for this (THIS PART) Beth is 16 years old