just someone come
ok so this is take 2 on my post because lj hates me. FML. hopefully i remember everything i had wanted to say, and how i said it. anyway...
earlier i got extremely upset, and it was set off my something minor and relatively insignificant, but it made me think of other things that spiraled me down into self contempt and unhappiness and some envy. i was almost crying in the middle of my kitchen watching a House rerun with the song i decided will be played at my wedding (More Than Anything ~ Gavin DeGraw) on repeat. i was not in great shape. *covers face with hands* and could really use a hug. i was like...tearlessly sobbing. it was pathetic, especially because i don't really have a reason to be so upset. i had to come upstairs to my room. but after listening to the song 15 or so times in a row i went relatively numb and had to change the song - and i don't even know what songs have played since. oh and i threw some songs into my "when all i wanna do is cry" playlist...and wrote a poem. which i actually really like and want to take a couple lines from to make into a userpic....
Just someone come
and hold me close
and tell me
"everything'll be alright."
Just someone come
and kiss my hair
and rub my back
to soothe me.
Just someone come
and wrap your arms
around my waist
to take me by surprise.
Just someone come
and tell me
"you're beautiful"
no matter how i feel or look.
Just someone come
and grasp my hand
and intertwine your fingers with mine.
Just someone come
and pull me onto your lap
to pull my face in close
to kiss you.
Just someone come
and be there for me anytime.
Just...Someone...Come.
oh and wow i had wanted to write today...i mean i kind of did, but it was really only a smidge, cause i had a random flash or what to write, so i did. but that just set me on the path that i had an inkling i was to travel along - though i don't have a smooth transition to that piece, so i have to work on that. *sigh* i'll try again tomorrow...
OH CRAP. tomorrow - well today really - i need to do some SAT practice and go to sleep a shitload earlier. because i have a practice SAT on sunday. LOVELY. :| which also means my break is almost over :'( whatever i think i'm going insane so i should probably go back to school...or, you know, be more productive and not let myself get so distracted and sleep on a more regular schedule...
and i've realized something: my blog over at blogger is kind of useless...cause i barely ever post there. maybe i should just get rid of it...but it's pretty...whatever i'll just leave it. eventually i'll post over there...
earlier i got extremely upset, and it was set off my something minor and relatively insignificant, but it made me think of other things that spiraled me down into self contempt and unhappiness and some envy. i was almost crying in the middle of my kitchen watching a House rerun with the song i decided will be played at my wedding (More Than Anything ~ Gavin DeGraw) on repeat. i was not in great shape. *covers face with hands* and could really use a hug. i was like...tearlessly sobbing. it was pathetic, especially because i don't really have a reason to be so upset. i had to come upstairs to my room. but after listening to the song 15 or so times in a row i went relatively numb and had to change the song - and i don't even know what songs have played since. oh and i threw some songs into my "when all i wanna do is cry" playlist...and wrote a poem. which i actually really like and want to take a couple lines from to make into a userpic....
Just someone come
and hold me close
and tell me
"everything'll be alright."
Just someone come
and kiss my hair
and rub my back
to soothe me.
Just someone come
and wrap your arms
around my waist
to take me by surprise.
Just someone come
and tell me
"you're beautiful"
no matter how i feel or look.
Just someone come
and grasp my hand
and intertwine your fingers with mine.
Just someone come
and pull me onto your lap
to pull my face in close
to kiss you.
Just someone come
and be there for me anytime.
Just...Someone...Come.
oh and wow i had wanted to write today...i mean i kind of did, but it was really only a smidge, cause i had a random flash or what to write, so i did. but that just set me on the path that i had an inkling i was to travel along - though i don't have a smooth transition to that piece, so i have to work on that. *sigh* i'll try again tomorrow...
OH CRAP. tomorrow - well today really - i need to do some SAT practice and go to sleep a shitload earlier. because i have a practice SAT on sunday. LOVELY. :| which also means my break is almost over :'( whatever i think i'm going insane so i should probably go back to school...or, you know, be more productive and not let myself get so distracted and sleep on a more regular schedule...
and i've realized something: my blog over at blogger is kind of useless...cause i barely ever post there. maybe i should just get rid of it...but it's pretty...whatever i'll just leave it. eventually i'll post over there...