definately not my best.
Thinking Out Loud: Internet pedophiles are not to blame
*** beware, there are spelling errors galore. this isn't the edited version. i promise it's prettier in the paper.
Forget about obesity, forget about your latest celebrity crush, forget about Scientology, hell while youre at it, and forget about AIDS. Theres a new epidemic sweeping the nation; and, even our most powerful public officials are getting in on it.
If Myspace has become your primary news source, then you are already well versed in the dangers of Bonsai Kittens and yellow-eyed children in your closet (if that chain letter is not passed on in ten seconds!11!1one!1); but, have you been educated on the dangers that lie beyond the virtual network of social ineptitude?
As of late, I've been hearing more and more about teenagers on the internet and the 40-somethings that love them. More specifically, those who decide to meet their older chatting buddy to have sex, or exchange cooking recipies. Because nothing could ever go wrong in that situation. Ever. Every news channel is beginning to sound like an old "after school special" preaching about the dangers of meeting someone off the internet - and I've begun to ask myself, why?
After finding dozens of e-mails and instant messages betwixt an adolesent and his or her older online lover, how could we as a society put the blame on the, otherwise harmless, pedophile? It wasn't as if the teen was under the impression that they were meeting for ice cream and going to the zoo, even if whipped cream and animal prints were involved.
To be blunt, if you've been on the internet within the past ten years, you've been solicited for sex -- it doesn't matter if you're in one of those chatrooms, or one about Beany Babies -- the chances are just that high. If the child never acquesques to the pedophile, they can't become a victim; however, if you're one of many who has been victimized by high American standards of beauty and intelligence and don't have the mental state of mind to decline creepy offline sex by someone old enough to be your parent, I have some tips.
- If the person you are talking to says they're 17 (just like you!) and that you're "like totally hawt;" they probably aren't.
- Even if they are 17 years old, when they ask you to meet them at the local park for some nookie, just say no. Whether 47 or 17, meeting someone offline for an encounter of the sensual persuasion is never a good idea, despite what your crotch tells you.
- Insecurity is not an excuse for offline sugar daddies. Don't be lame. Get a job like everyone else and buy your own stuff. It's much more exhillerating to know you're self-sufficent. Trust me.
- If they ask if you have any pictures before they even ask your name, that's a sign. Send them something off Google and allow hilarity to ensue.
- C'mon, join the 21st century. It's called "porn." It's a well known fact that if all the pornography websites were taken off the internet there would only be one left. It would be called "Bring Back the Porn." Enjoy.
- Join a club, sport, take up marathon running, or begin luring around the mall like a normal teenager with a social life.
- Use the buddy system. If the urge to do something ultimately scandalous, call a friend and have them calm you down. Or post a million bulletins on MySpace until the feeling subsides.
- As if we need another [insert color here]-ribbon day. Just say no.
Let's face it, falling into the trap of another's black hole of patheticness makes you even more pathetic. You may be young, naive, and extremely hormonally charged, but think about it for a second: what would Simon Cowell do?
*** beware, there are spelling errors galore. this isn't the edited version. i promise it's prettier in the paper.
Forget about obesity, forget about your latest celebrity crush, forget about Scientology, hell while youre at it, and forget about AIDS. Theres a new epidemic sweeping the nation; and, even our most powerful public officials are getting in on it.
If Myspace has become your primary news source, then you are already well versed in the dangers of Bonsai Kittens and yellow-eyed children in your closet (if that chain letter is not passed on in ten seconds!11!1one!1); but, have you been educated on the dangers that lie beyond the virtual network of social ineptitude?
As of late, I've been hearing more and more about teenagers on the internet and the 40-somethings that love them. More specifically, those who decide to meet their older chatting buddy to have sex, or exchange cooking recipies. Because nothing could ever go wrong in that situation. Ever. Every news channel is beginning to sound like an old "after school special" preaching about the dangers of meeting someone off the internet - and I've begun to ask myself, why?
After finding dozens of e-mails and instant messages betwixt an adolesent and his or her older online lover, how could we as a society put the blame on the, otherwise harmless, pedophile? It wasn't as if the teen was under the impression that they were meeting for ice cream and going to the zoo, even if whipped cream and animal prints were involved.
To be blunt, if you've been on the internet within the past ten years, you've been solicited for sex -- it doesn't matter if you're in one of those chatrooms, or one about Beany Babies -- the chances are just that high. If the child never acquesques to the pedophile, they can't become a victim; however, if you're one of many who has been victimized by high American standards of beauty and intelligence and don't have the mental state of mind to decline creepy offline sex by someone old enough to be your parent, I have some tips.
- If the person you are talking to says they're 17 (just like you!) and that you're "like totally hawt;" they probably aren't.
- Even if they are 17 years old, when they ask you to meet them at the local park for some nookie, just say no. Whether 47 or 17, meeting someone offline for an encounter of the sensual persuasion is never a good idea, despite what your crotch tells you.
- Insecurity is not an excuse for offline sugar daddies. Don't be lame. Get a job like everyone else and buy your own stuff. It's much more exhillerating to know you're self-sufficent. Trust me.
- If they ask if you have any pictures before they even ask your name, that's a sign. Send them something off Google and allow hilarity to ensue.
- C'mon, join the 21st century. It's called "porn." It's a well known fact that if all the pornography websites were taken off the internet there would only be one left. It would be called "Bring Back the Porn." Enjoy.
- Join a club, sport, take up marathon running, or begin luring around the mall like a normal teenager with a social life.
- Use the buddy system. If the urge to do something ultimately scandalous, call a friend and have them calm you down. Or post a million bulletins on MySpace until the feeling subsides.
- As if we need another [insert color here]-ribbon day. Just say no.
Let's face it, falling into the trap of another's black hole of patheticness makes you even more pathetic. You may be young, naive, and extremely hormonally charged, but think about it for a second: what would Simon Cowell do?