Application Addendum
Appended History
Teaching his little sister to fight properly was the biggest mistake Tachibana Kippei ever made. His sister already was prone to running off on tangents, adventures, flurries of imagination, championing underdogs and tilting at windmills. By the time their family moved to Tokyo, An had been suspended six times for fighting.
She had a skewed sense of justice. Once An decided she liked you, she became your champion, right or wrong. She turned a blind eye to her friends' faults (and her own) and often magnified the transgressions of others. She could get away with kicking a boy three years older than her and punching him in the stomach because her brother, who'd gone through his growth spurt early and had a reputation as another hothead, but one with the skill to back it up, always loomed in the background. Kippei was never certain whether An refused to back down because she knew he always had her back or if she'd charge headlong into battle even without him in reserve. But An was his little sister. It was his job to look out for her, so he always backed her up and never discovered the answer to that question.
By the time she finished her elementary grades, An had polarized the entire school. Kids either loved her or hated her. Sometimes the sides changed from day to day and week to week. Even her teachers took sides. One teacher's bright was another teacher's "too smart for her own good." Where one teacher enjoyed An's outspokenness and lively dialogue, another constantly gave her detention for mouthiness and overall insolence.
An didn't care. She was the center of attention, and that's all that mattered. Her father traveled a lot with his job, taking their mother with them. An and her brother were left in the care of her grandmother, who ensured the children were fed and had a place to sleep, but otherwise ignored them. An hated being ignored.
With no real-life examples for her behavior, An looked to her brother and books and television characters for guidance. It's no surprise, with An's love for fantasy and adventure stories, that she developed a skewed idea of loyalty.
She brought that loyalty and all her other foibles to Tokyo when her father accepted a company promotion shortly after her brother's incident. She left her tennis behind. An was loyal to her brother. He'd given up tennis, and so would she. When Kippei told her he'd given up tennis for good, An was never sure how many of her tears were shed for his loss or hers.
Kippei--and, thus, An--decided to attend Fudomine, a local public school. Fudomine lacked funding for actual coursework, much less extracurricular activities. Tennis there was a joke. The school sat on the border between the Tachibanas' middle class neighborhood and a poorer district. An wasn't the only student there who believed in settling problems with fists, feet and sometimes teeth.
An called it Thug School.
Kippei soon had enough of thug school and thug tennis and set the tennis team--and their coach--straight with a good right cross. An was thrilled Kippei had allowed tennis into his life once again, disappointed because he and the rest of the remaining team had been banned from play for the remainder of the season and crestfallen that she'd missed out in the battle.
Fudomine had no girls' tennis team. An played occasionally now since Kippei did, but not seriously. Her brother was still prone to bouts of depression and self-loathing. An thought she'd be more help to him by supporting his new team. There was a lot a cute and friendly girl could discover that a player from a rival team never could. Besides, An could practice a newfound pastime--flirting.
An liked to flirt. She liked boys. You knew where you stood with boys. Girls danced around issues, said what they didn't mean, then talked about you behind your back. An blurted out exactly how she felt. She didn't like games. Boys didn't play games, at least not the same way. And if they did, she could ask her brother what some guy meant and get a translation. She had no one to translate girls for her. Kippei most decidedly did not approve of An's new hobby.
Wasn't it enough that her own parents ragged on her for failing to live up to their expectations? An was too outspoken, too wild, too stubborn, too adventurous, too competitive, too hot-tempered, too, too, too. Her parents wanted a quiet, demure girl who smiled all the time and obeyed without question. An questioned everything. And the more people tried to force her into a mold, the more she resisted.
So when Yamabuki recruited An to attend their high school as a member of the girls' tennis team, An jumped at the chance. Yamabuki was far enough away that it was easier for her to live in the dorms. It meant she saw Kippei less, but it also meant fewer family fights. Besides, she and Kippei had their first real argument after the Kamio Closet Fiasco. An didn't mind the yelling--An was good at yelling. She hated the looks of disappointment. Kippei was not going to make her feel guilty for something that was Kamio's fault.
An immediately usurped the singles two spot on the line-up and was named captain in her junior year. She took Yamabuki to the National Semi-Finals that year. In her senior year, her team walked over the competition. An earned herself a reputation as a fierce competitor who destroyed her opponents by drawing out the game for as long as possible, putting just the right spin on the ball to produce near misses instead of return aces and slowly wearing down her
opponent's confidence. But what really made An deadly was the way she enjoyed demolishing her opponent in the mental game. An had become very good at reading people. Her ability coupled with knowledge she'd gleaned about her opponents enabled her to prey on weaknesses and fears that sometimes even her opponents didn't know they had.
Of course, her parents still weren't happy with anything she did. Her grades weren't high enough. She wasn't ladylike enough. She didn't date the right boys. The only thing that made them mildly happy was her success as captain of her tennis team. Even then, Kippei always outshone An. She couldn't please her parents with stellar grades--Kippei already had that in the bag. So An stopped trying. She ditched class whenever she could. She organized the Great Frog Migration of 2008 in protest of her biology class's live dissection. She stole obtained the key to the old storage room behind the bleachers and sold make-out time to couples. She became Yamabuki's number one party girl. Only the thought of Kippei's disapproval kept her from becoming the school bicycle. Still, she went through boys so fast that Kippei set his friends to guarding her. An felt trapped.
Sometimes she'd use her bus pass and visit tennis courts all around town. She had this scam. She was this little high school girl, right? She'd watch a game or two, pick out the man who seemed to have the most testosterone poisoning and challenge him. If her victim turned her down, she'd wonder aloud why he was afraid to play a little girl. And she'd put money on the outcome. She almost always won. An used her ill-gotten gains to feed her book addiction or on
amusement parks and arcades or tennis gear or on clothing her parents would never approve of.
She met Midorikawa Ranko, a former pro tennis player turned coach, on one of her forays. The woman observed An take out three college kids--two girls and one boy. After An won the usual argument over the matches and pocketed her winnings, Midorikawa approached An and gave her a point by point critique of her play. She didn't introduce herself. An looked the busybody up and down and told her to put her money where her mouth was.
Midorikawa defeated her in straight sets. The former pro said An was an embarrassment to the sport and that she, Midorikawa, had no choice but to beat some tennis into her. There was no way An could afford the fees herself. She cornered her father early one Saturday morning
All the while, An kept waiting for her parents to notice her, to tell her they were proud of her. Of course, they never did. Their fights centered more and more around An and what to do about her. They divorced in An's senior year, right after Kippei announced he was returning to Kyushu for college instead of attending Todai. An found herself suddenly alone. Secretly, she believes it's her fault that her parents split.
That's when it hit her. She couldn't depend on anyone else ever. An had leaned on her brother all her life, put her wants on hold to help him, tried and tried with no success to please her parents. And it was all for nothing. They'd all deserted her. Fine. It was high time she took control of her own destiny. What the hell did she want out of life, anyway? When she was little she wanted to be a paleontologist or an astronaut or explorer. Now she was older. Should
she settle for being a teacher because that's what her parents approved of? Or should she grab that one chance she'd always been afraid to take? Even her beloved brother chuckled a bit when An phoned and informed him she was going to play at Wimbledon in five years, asking, "An, isn't it time you grew up?"
She hurled the phone across the room and curled up around her pillow and cried. Even her brother didn't believe in her, Kippei, who'd always been there for her. Fine. To hell with them all. She didn't need them. An knew she had it in her. And so what if she never became top seed; she would have at least pursued her dream--something even Kippei couldn't claim to have done.
She didn't need anyone. Only herself. She'd show them all. She could do anything if she only tried hard enough. An had always believed that. And she believed she could become the best female tennis player ever. Even if it killed her.
When An’s coach was offered a position at the USTA Training Center in New York, An was more than ready to move with her and continue her training. She was going to do this. She would. She. Would!
Personality
An is cheerful, outgoing, argumentative, stubborn, sarcastic, imaginative, impetuous, rebellious, hot-tempered, manipulative, determined and certain of her own abilities. She sets high standards for herself and others. Although she's quick to point out someone's shortcomings, An often fails to see her own. Her sense of whimsy often gets the best of her. It's not unusual for her to make an about-face during an argument because something amused her. Sometimes she'll argue and manipulate someone simply for the entertainment value.
She likes most people (except for the stupid ones) and learning about them. She's always up for fun and adventure. An champions underdogs and lost causes, but she expects people to stand up for themselves when she does so. She absolutely hates whiners.
An won't hesitate to speak her mind. That can make her seem like a real bitch. She has learned to monitor her mouth a little. She reads people fairly well. If she can't get her way directly, she'll attempt to manipulate people and situations to her liking. She'll also use that mouth of hers to poke at people she dislikes.
An hates people telling her what to do. It's not so much that she questions authority in general; she merely questions the authority's judgment. She'll follow the sheep if a rule makes sense to her. If not, she'll find a way around it.
It's difficult to provoke An into a fight by insulting her. She knows it frustrates people if she laughs them off. However, hurt someone she cares about and she almost certainly will light into you. An doesn't get into as many physical fights as she did when she was younger, choosing to fight her battles with words. Even so, she might still haul off and hit someone given enough provocation--just ask that Kirihara jerk.
There's a secret, hidden side to her that longs for approval and affection. She always felt second best growing up. In a way, she still does. But that's okay. It makes her all the more determined to achieve her goals (or so she tells herself).
Questions Addendum;
Set I.
Who or what, if anything, would you die for?
It's dumb to die for things. It's a lot smarter to live and take out the bad guys at the same time, right? Win:win. But I get what you mean. I'd put myself in danger to save Kippei. Yeah. And to save a kid--probably get myself killed in the process--I'd jump first and go splat later if you know what I mean.
I do that (not the going splat part but the jumping first bit) a lot.
If you could save any historical figure from their untimely death, who would it be?
That's a lot of people. You know, I think I'd like to see what would have happened to this world if so many hadn't died in WWI or from that flu that went around towards the end. We studied that in high school. Same could be said for any war. What would some of these people have done with their lives if they'd lived? I'd like to know that. So, I'd like to bring back all those people.
If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
Um...flying! Or, I know! Teleporting would be really cool. It'd be fun to be really, really fast or to turn into some kind of animal--something cool like a wolf or a tiger or something. Oh, I know! Time travel! But not telepathy. I don't want to know what people really think. Hell, I don't want people to know what I really think. Something fun.
If you could kill any living person in the world, who would you kill?
Never been that pissed off at someone. Yet. Wait. Can we kill off all the pedophiles? Gross guys who hurt little kids are complete wastes of skin.
And stupid people. You know how many jobs I've had since I came to America? Five. Five. Freaking. Jobs. All lost because of stupid people. Well, I suppose they don't deserve killing, but could we at least neuter them? Please?
What is your favorite thing to do when you’re alone?
Guess tennis is too obvious, huh? Cook. I like to cook, especially now I'm in America. I really miss the food from home. Right now I'm working hard to get better with my English, but I wouldn't call that a favorite thing. And I do, you know, girl stuff. Like guys, only cleaner. Um.
If you could solve any one current world crisis, which would you solve?
What's with all the questions? Did someone nominate me for Miss Japan or something? It's pretty obvious what needs to be fixed, so not saying any of that. How about we get rid of all the stupid people? That'd make everyone's life easier. Okay, fine. Hunger. If people aren't hungry, they don't need more land, so they don't fight, blah blah blah.
If you could be on one TV reality show, which would it be?
Definitely Amazing Race. It'd be like living in your own Bourne movie. Don't know who I'd partner with. Someone not stupid.
Do you believe in God?
Yeah, we don't really do that in Japan. I think there's something--the entire universe is pretty much a miracle. But I don't think there's a god of winning tennis games or anything (despite what those Rikkaidai idiots claim).
If you could commit any felony with impunity, which would it be?
I'd love to be an It Takes A Thief/Mission Impossible cat burglar. Get to drop down on a wire from the ceiling and steal the Hope Diamond or something.
If you were on the Titanic and there was only room for one person on your lifeboat, would you save your mother or your best friend?
Yeah, you know what? Bet if people scootched together there'd be room for both. If not? I'd send them both and go find myself another lifeboat. Not making that decision. Okay, fine. You won't let me wriggle out of it. I'd choose Kippei over my mother any day. I can imagine losing my mother, but not Kippei.
Set II.
Describe how you met your best friend.
That'd be my big brother. I was kind of born with him. Kippei's always been there for me. I hope he feels the same way about me. He taught me how to whistle and how to fight and how to play tennis and how to tell really bad jokes. Hah. Bet people could do without that last part. He's the greatest. When I was four, I got in a fight with some kid and he started calling me names and said I was ugly and no one would ever marry me and I cried. Stupid, I know, but I was four and thought only mommies and daddies could have babies. Kippei wiped my eyes and told me what other people think never matters. He also promised to marry me if no one else did. Shut up. We're not like that. But it was really sweet. Made me stop crying, anyway.
Describe the worst thing you’ve ever done.
So you read my first kiss story, right? I edited out the important stuff because it makes me look like a real bitch. That guy was my friend Kamio. See, Kamio had this crazy crush on me for years. I kept waiting for him to work up the guts to say something, but he never did. At first, I was flattered and, I dunno, probably drunk with power a little. Up til then I'd had my brother wrapped around my little finger, but no one else. Now I had this really cute guy trailing after me like a lost puppy. I, um, encouraged him. It was fun. But when he still never found the guts to say he liked me--I'd have at least given him a chance--I kind of lost respect for him. I mean, Kamio's my friend. But why should I think some guy is good enough for me when he acts like even he doesn't think so? He let me do anything I wanted. He was, um, how do the Americans say it? Whipped. Can't respect that. So I got mad and started flirting with other guys. I wanted a reaction, you know? Anything! I wanted Kamio to stand up for himself, but he never did. He just kept following me around bleating, "An-chan." Drove me nuts.
So then the guys thought they'd do him a favor and lock us in that closet. And he tried to kiss me but by then I had NO interest. And it was awful, and he tried again and started blubbering about how much he loved me and wanted to be together forever and I'm all "ew" and I told him so. Bluntly. Cruelly. I think the word loser might have been used. God, I was such a bitch.
And Kamio was my best friend. Was. I lost my temper, you know? And it all came bubbling out. It was awful.
Describe a situation in which you took charge.
I was my team's captain. That what you mean? A better question would be "when aren't you in charge" 'cause I get sick of standing around listening to people whine, "What do we do nooooooooooooooow" and "I dunnoooooo" and "Maybe we should call sensei" and generally just be stupid and indecisive. So I tell them what we're going to do even if I haven't the foggiest idea. I mean, better to do anything than sit around with our thumbs up our asses. You'd be surprised how many people fall in line so long as you act like you know what you're doing.
Teaching his little sister to fight properly was the biggest mistake Tachibana Kippei ever made. His sister already was prone to running off on tangents, adventures, flurries of imagination, championing underdogs and tilting at windmills. By the time their family moved to Tokyo, An had been suspended six times for fighting.
She had a skewed sense of justice. Once An decided she liked you, she became your champion, right or wrong. She turned a blind eye to her friends' faults (and her own) and often magnified the transgressions of others. She could get away with kicking a boy three years older than her and punching him in the stomach because her brother, who'd gone through his growth spurt early and had a reputation as another hothead, but one with the skill to back it up, always loomed in the background. Kippei was never certain whether An refused to back down because she knew he always had her back or if she'd charge headlong into battle even without him in reserve. But An was his little sister. It was his job to look out for her, so he always backed her up and never discovered the answer to that question.
By the time she finished her elementary grades, An had polarized the entire school. Kids either loved her or hated her. Sometimes the sides changed from day to day and week to week. Even her teachers took sides. One teacher's bright was another teacher's "too smart for her own good." Where one teacher enjoyed An's outspokenness and lively dialogue, another constantly gave her detention for mouthiness and overall insolence.
An didn't care. She was the center of attention, and that's all that mattered. Her father traveled a lot with his job, taking their mother with them. An and her brother were left in the care of her grandmother, who ensured the children were fed and had a place to sleep, but otherwise ignored them. An hated being ignored.
With no real-life examples for her behavior, An looked to her brother and books and television characters for guidance. It's no surprise, with An's love for fantasy and adventure stories, that she developed a skewed idea of loyalty.
She brought that loyalty and all her other foibles to Tokyo when her father accepted a company promotion shortly after her brother's incident. She left her tennis behind. An was loyal to her brother. He'd given up tennis, and so would she. When Kippei told her he'd given up tennis for good, An was never sure how many of her tears were shed for his loss or hers.
Kippei--and, thus, An--decided to attend Fudomine, a local public school. Fudomine lacked funding for actual coursework, much less extracurricular activities. Tennis there was a joke. The school sat on the border between the Tachibanas' middle class neighborhood and a poorer district. An wasn't the only student there who believed in settling problems with fists, feet and sometimes teeth.
An called it Thug School.
Kippei soon had enough of thug school and thug tennis and set the tennis team--and their coach--straight with a good right cross. An was thrilled Kippei had allowed tennis into his life once again, disappointed because he and the rest of the remaining team had been banned from play for the remainder of the season and crestfallen that she'd missed out in the battle.
Fudomine had no girls' tennis team. An played occasionally now since Kippei did, but not seriously. Her brother was still prone to bouts of depression and self-loathing. An thought she'd be more help to him by supporting his new team. There was a lot a cute and friendly girl could discover that a player from a rival team never could. Besides, An could practice a newfound pastime--flirting.
An liked to flirt. She liked boys. You knew where you stood with boys. Girls danced around issues, said what they didn't mean, then talked about you behind your back. An blurted out exactly how she felt. She didn't like games. Boys didn't play games, at least not the same way. And if they did, she could ask her brother what some guy meant and get a translation. She had no one to translate girls for her. Kippei most decidedly did not approve of An's new hobby.
Wasn't it enough that her own parents ragged on her for failing to live up to their expectations? An was too outspoken, too wild, too stubborn, too adventurous, too competitive, too hot-tempered, too, too, too. Her parents wanted a quiet, demure girl who smiled all the time and obeyed without question. An questioned everything. And the more people tried to force her into a mold, the more she resisted.
So when Yamabuki recruited An to attend their high school as a member of the girls' tennis team, An jumped at the chance. Yamabuki was far enough away that it was easier for her to live in the dorms. It meant she saw Kippei less, but it also meant fewer family fights. Besides, she and Kippei had their first real argument after the Kamio Closet Fiasco. An didn't mind the yelling--An was good at yelling. She hated the looks of disappointment. Kippei was not going to make her feel guilty for something that was Kamio's fault.
An immediately usurped the singles two spot on the line-up and was named captain in her junior year. She took Yamabuki to the National Semi-Finals that year. In her senior year, her team walked over the competition. An earned herself a reputation as a fierce competitor who destroyed her opponents by drawing out the game for as long as possible, putting just the right spin on the ball to produce near misses instead of return aces and slowly wearing down her
opponent's confidence. But what really made An deadly was the way she enjoyed demolishing her opponent in the mental game. An had become very good at reading people. Her ability coupled with knowledge she'd gleaned about her opponents enabled her to prey on weaknesses and fears that sometimes even her opponents didn't know they had.
Of course, her parents still weren't happy with anything she did. Her grades weren't high enough. She wasn't ladylike enough. She didn't date the right boys. The only thing that made them mildly happy was her success as captain of her tennis team. Even then, Kippei always outshone An. She couldn't please her parents with stellar grades--Kippei already had that in the bag. So An stopped trying. She ditched class whenever she could. She organized the Great Frog Migration of 2008 in protest of her biology class's live dissection. She stole obtained the key to the old storage room behind the bleachers and sold make-out time to couples. She became Yamabuki's number one party girl. Only the thought of Kippei's disapproval kept her from becoming the school bicycle. Still, she went through boys so fast that Kippei set his friends to guarding her. An felt trapped.
Sometimes she'd use her bus pass and visit tennis courts all around town. She had this scam. She was this little high school girl, right? She'd watch a game or two, pick out the man who seemed to have the most testosterone poisoning and challenge him. If her victim turned her down, she'd wonder aloud why he was afraid to play a little girl. And she'd put money on the outcome. She almost always won. An used her ill-gotten gains to feed her book addiction or on
amusement parks and arcades or tennis gear or on clothing her parents would never approve of.
She met Midorikawa Ranko, a former pro tennis player turned coach, on one of her forays. The woman observed An take out three college kids--two girls and one boy. After An won the usual argument over the matches and pocketed her winnings, Midorikawa approached An and gave her a point by point critique of her play. She didn't introduce herself. An looked the busybody up and down and told her to put her money where her mouth was.
Midorikawa defeated her in straight sets. The former pro said An was an embarrassment to the sport and that she, Midorikawa, had no choice but to beat some tennis into her. There was no way An could afford the fees herself. She cornered her father early one Saturday morning
All the while, An kept waiting for her parents to notice her, to tell her they were proud of her. Of course, they never did. Their fights centered more and more around An and what to do about her. They divorced in An's senior year, right after Kippei announced he was returning to Kyushu for college instead of attending Todai. An found herself suddenly alone. Secretly, she believes it's her fault that her parents split.
That's when it hit her. She couldn't depend on anyone else ever. An had leaned on her brother all her life, put her wants on hold to help him, tried and tried with no success to please her parents. And it was all for nothing. They'd all deserted her. Fine. It was high time she took control of her own destiny. What the hell did she want out of life, anyway? When she was little she wanted to be a paleontologist or an astronaut or explorer. Now she was older. Should
she settle for being a teacher because that's what her parents approved of? Or should she grab that one chance she'd always been afraid to take? Even her beloved brother chuckled a bit when An phoned and informed him she was going to play at Wimbledon in five years, asking, "An, isn't it time you grew up?"
She hurled the phone across the room and curled up around her pillow and cried. Even her brother didn't believe in her, Kippei, who'd always been there for her. Fine. To hell with them all. She didn't need them. An knew she had it in her. And so what if she never became top seed; she would have at least pursued her dream--something even Kippei couldn't claim to have done.
She didn't need anyone. Only herself. She'd show them all. She could do anything if she only tried hard enough. An had always believed that. And she believed she could become the best female tennis player ever. Even if it killed her.
When An’s coach was offered a position at the USTA Training Center in New York, An was more than ready to move with her and continue her training. She was going to do this. She would. She. Would!
Personality
An is cheerful, outgoing, argumentative, stubborn, sarcastic, imaginative, impetuous, rebellious, hot-tempered, manipulative, determined and certain of her own abilities. She sets high standards for herself and others. Although she's quick to point out someone's shortcomings, An often fails to see her own. Her sense of whimsy often gets the best of her. It's not unusual for her to make an about-face during an argument because something amused her. Sometimes she'll argue and manipulate someone simply for the entertainment value.
She likes most people (except for the stupid ones) and learning about them. She's always up for fun and adventure. An champions underdogs and lost causes, but she expects people to stand up for themselves when she does so. She absolutely hates whiners.
An won't hesitate to speak her mind. That can make her seem like a real bitch. She has learned to monitor her mouth a little. She reads people fairly well. If she can't get her way directly, she'll attempt to manipulate people and situations to her liking. She'll also use that mouth of hers to poke at people she dislikes.
An hates people telling her what to do. It's not so much that she questions authority in general; she merely questions the authority's judgment. She'll follow the sheep if a rule makes sense to her. If not, she'll find a way around it.
It's difficult to provoke An into a fight by insulting her. She knows it frustrates people if she laughs them off. However, hurt someone she cares about and she almost certainly will light into you. An doesn't get into as many physical fights as she did when she was younger, choosing to fight her battles with words. Even so, she might still haul off and hit someone given enough provocation--just ask that Kirihara jerk.
There's a secret, hidden side to her that longs for approval and affection. She always felt second best growing up. In a way, she still does. But that's okay. It makes her all the more determined to achieve her goals (or so she tells herself).
Questions Addendum;
Set I.
Who or what, if anything, would you die for?
It's dumb to die for things. It's a lot smarter to live and take out the bad guys at the same time, right? Win:win. But I get what you mean. I'd put myself in danger to save Kippei. Yeah. And to save a kid--probably get myself killed in the process--I'd jump first and go splat later if you know what I mean.
I do that (not the going splat part but the jumping first bit) a lot.
If you could save any historical figure from their untimely death, who would it be?
That's a lot of people. You know, I think I'd like to see what would have happened to this world if so many hadn't died in WWI or from that flu that went around towards the end. We studied that in high school. Same could be said for any war. What would some of these people have done with their lives if they'd lived? I'd like to know that. So, I'd like to bring back all those people.
If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
Um...flying! Or, I know! Teleporting would be really cool. It'd be fun to be really, really fast or to turn into some kind of animal--something cool like a wolf or a tiger or something. Oh, I know! Time travel! But not telepathy. I don't want to know what people really think. Hell, I don't want people to know what I really think. Something fun.
If you could kill any living person in the world, who would you kill?
Never been that pissed off at someone. Yet. Wait. Can we kill off all the pedophiles? Gross guys who hurt little kids are complete wastes of skin.
And stupid people. You know how many jobs I've had since I came to America? Five. Five. Freaking. Jobs. All lost because of stupid people. Well, I suppose they don't deserve killing, but could we at least neuter them? Please?
What is your favorite thing to do when you’re alone?
Guess tennis is too obvious, huh? Cook. I like to cook, especially now I'm in America. I really miss the food from home. Right now I'm working hard to get better with my English, but I wouldn't call that a favorite thing. And I do, you know, girl stuff. Like guys, only cleaner. Um.
If you could solve any one current world crisis, which would you solve?
What's with all the questions? Did someone nominate me for Miss Japan or something? It's pretty obvious what needs to be fixed, so not saying any of that. How about we get rid of all the stupid people? That'd make everyone's life easier. Okay, fine. Hunger. If people aren't hungry, they don't need more land, so they don't fight, blah blah blah.
If you could be on one TV reality show, which would it be?
Definitely Amazing Race. It'd be like living in your own Bourne movie. Don't know who I'd partner with. Someone not stupid.
Do you believe in God?
Yeah, we don't really do that in Japan. I think there's something--the entire universe is pretty much a miracle. But I don't think there's a god of winning tennis games or anything (despite what those Rikkaidai idiots claim).
If you could commit any felony with impunity, which would it be?
I'd love to be an It Takes A Thief/Mission Impossible cat burglar. Get to drop down on a wire from the ceiling and steal the Hope Diamond or something.
If you were on the Titanic and there was only room for one person on your lifeboat, would you save your mother or your best friend?
Yeah, you know what? Bet if people scootched together there'd be room for both. If not? I'd send them both and go find myself another lifeboat. Not making that decision. Okay, fine. You won't let me wriggle out of it. I'd choose Kippei over my mother any day. I can imagine losing my mother, but not Kippei.
Set II.
Describe how you met your best friend.
That'd be my big brother. I was kind of born with him. Kippei's always been there for me. I hope he feels the same way about me. He taught me how to whistle and how to fight and how to play tennis and how to tell really bad jokes. Hah. Bet people could do without that last part. He's the greatest. When I was four, I got in a fight with some kid and he started calling me names and said I was ugly and no one would ever marry me and I cried. Stupid, I know, but I was four and thought only mommies and daddies could have babies. Kippei wiped my eyes and told me what other people think never matters. He also promised to marry me if no one else did. Shut up. We're not like that. But it was really sweet. Made me stop crying, anyway.
Describe the worst thing you’ve ever done.
So you read my first kiss story, right? I edited out the important stuff because it makes me look like a real bitch. That guy was my friend Kamio. See, Kamio had this crazy crush on me for years. I kept waiting for him to work up the guts to say something, but he never did. At first, I was flattered and, I dunno, probably drunk with power a little. Up til then I'd had my brother wrapped around my little finger, but no one else. Now I had this really cute guy trailing after me like a lost puppy. I, um, encouraged him. It was fun. But when he still never found the guts to say he liked me--I'd have at least given him a chance--I kind of lost respect for him. I mean, Kamio's my friend. But why should I think some guy is good enough for me when he acts like even he doesn't think so? He let me do anything I wanted. He was, um, how do the Americans say it? Whipped. Can't respect that. So I got mad and started flirting with other guys. I wanted a reaction, you know? Anything! I wanted Kamio to stand up for himself, but he never did. He just kept following me around bleating, "An-chan." Drove me nuts.
So then the guys thought they'd do him a favor and lock us in that closet. And he tried to kiss me but by then I had NO interest. And it was awful, and he tried again and started blubbering about how much he loved me and wanted to be together forever and I'm all "ew" and I told him so. Bluntly. Cruelly. I think the word loser might have been used. God, I was such a bitch.
And Kamio was my best friend. Was. I lost my temper, you know? And it all came bubbling out. It was awful.
Describe a situation in which you took charge.
I was my team's captain. That what you mean? A better question would be "when aren't you in charge" 'cause I get sick of standing around listening to people whine, "What do we do nooooooooooooooow" and "I dunnoooooo" and "Maybe we should call sensei" and generally just be stupid and indecisive. So I tell them what we're going to do even if I haven't the foggiest idea. I mean, better to do anything than sit around with our thumbs up our asses. You'd be surprised how many people fall in line so long as you act like you know what you're doing.