alway up or down , never down and out

[heart_over_mind]

this is matts update:
i'll start by putting down how i am feeling: i feel bleh i'm not tired cuz i woke up and talked to sarah which gets me all exited ... i'll be let down later when i realize that i won't be able to see her today*sigh* there could still be hope and i don't know my heart lays heavy in my chest

What i did yesturday: i didn't do anything yesturday and that is very boring

what do i want to do today: i have to work at six so i don't know what i can do i wish i could see sarah even for just a little bit then i can give her the stuff i have ... maybe chill with sammy a little and talk i don't know i would just rather do something so badly

how was my night: same old i talked to sarah and we would have a yawn fight(wether she was aware of it or not) where after we would giggle and deny that anything was funny ... the little things we always do then i tried to simulate haveing sarah there to hold in my arms to help me sleep(cuz when i miss her alot my arms quiver at the feeling of being empty and without her ..... i'm not becoming to attached am i it feels to comfortable to natural that i slid into loveing her and missing her and having her voice calm and settle me ... i've had this feeling before and that ended in a way nothing should have to end execpt life

maybe that is the cause of this weight in my sigh....
the past is but a beloved memory
we can hold onto it and cherish it
but we should never dwell on it or live in it
because that will lead to sorrow and despair

..... sorry about that one well i' am oudie