how do you get so desperate how do you stay alive ?

[heart_of_glass3]

hey hey,
well i seem to be getting, better lately. if im starting to feel down i just think about all the amazing things i have in life. an amazing boyfriend, amazing friends that i could trust with my life. and the bravest mum in the world. i know its cheesy but it is what gets me through the day. last night i was lying in bed thinking, no one will care if i just never wake up, if i just slip of into my dreams and stay there and never come back. to leave all this feeling bad and all my problems behind me, but then i realised how much i would miss...EVERYONE. i know sometimes i dont show how much people mean to me like my baby katherine. or shelly. or jim, but i do care i want to stop feeling sad. and wake up feeling good. i know that isnt going to happen anytime soon but that means i will have to learn to live with this. i know this feeling wont go away, but it should get easier with time. to the people that know what i am going through and that are helping me i thank yopu soo much especially you jim, if it wasnt for you. i dont know what i would do. i hope i can help you . i love you xxxxx