Meeting the Missus, Sorta (6th open Letter to Amanda)DDDD
Dearest Mandi-chan,
Some visiting family members saw a photo of you and asked if you were my girlfriend. I said yes.
Then I got grilled.
"Why you get with a white girl?" (I sincerely hope they were joking when they asked that. What did they want me to say? "They're exotic"? "They're usually more polite and better spoken than black women of my peers"? "They're usually into kinkier stuff than 'sistahs'"?)
My response: "Love is colorblind. She and I share the same interests. If I had found a black girl into the same stuff around the same time who could put up with me, I'd probably have fallen for her. But Amanda found me first, so..."
"Do you be sneakin' here in here when nobody home? *Gigglesnickerchortle*"
"Kinda hard to do since she lives in Georgia."
"Georgia? You plan on moving down there to be with her?"
"No. The tentative plan is for one of us to save up enough money for her to move up here. I wouldn't mind living down there if she lived in Atlanta or another big city where the law would potentially be on my side if there was trouble, But she lives in the Tennessee Valley. And, well..."
"We feel you, baby. We wouldn't trust small towns in those parts either."
(No offense, darling.)
"Did you meet her on the Internet?"
I had to think fast about this one." We met while I went to college." (Which is the truth. I just didn't say we met online.) "She couldn't afford to stay here. (Also true. Plus, you were fifteen years old.) "So now she lives down there." (As you always have.)
"Oh. Okay. You know we're only asking 'cause we're concerned for you."
Right. And the fact that I'm a twenty-eight-year-old who's shown no real interest in a relationship before in front of you who's suddenly shown you a picture of his soon-to-be wife who just so happens to be not-black has nothing at all to do with it.
Sigh.
In happier news, my gay and lesbian friends can now get civil unions here in Cook County. One small step for the LGBT community, one giant leap for Chicago's income. All wee need is a casino in-city and we'll be like Las Vegas for gay couples. It should be cool.
Some visiting family members saw a photo of you and asked if you were my girlfriend. I said yes.
Then I got grilled.
"Why you get with a white girl?" (I sincerely hope they were joking when they asked that. What did they want me to say? "They're exotic"? "They're usually more polite and better spoken than black women of my peers"? "They're usually into kinkier stuff than 'sistahs'"?)
My response: "Love is colorblind. She and I share the same interests. If I had found a black girl into the same stuff around the same time who could put up with me, I'd probably have fallen for her. But Amanda found me first, so..."
"Do you be sneakin' here in here when nobody home? *Gigglesnickerchortle*"
"Kinda hard to do since she lives in Georgia."
"Georgia? You plan on moving down there to be with her?"
"No. The tentative plan is for one of us to save up enough money for her to move up here. I wouldn't mind living down there if she lived in Atlanta or another big city where the law would potentially be on my side if there was trouble, But she lives in the Tennessee Valley. And, well..."
"We feel you, baby. We wouldn't trust small towns in those parts either."
(No offense, darling.)
"Did you meet her on the Internet?"
I had to think fast about this one." We met while I went to college." (Which is the truth. I just didn't say we met online.) "She couldn't afford to stay here. (Also true. Plus, you were fifteen years old.) "So now she lives down there." (As you always have.)
"Oh. Okay. You know we're only asking 'cause we're concerned for you."
Right. And the fact that I'm a twenty-eight-year-old who's shown no real interest in a relationship before in front of you who's suddenly shown you a picture of his soon-to-be wife who just so happens to be not-black has nothing at all to do with it.
Sigh.
In happier news, my gay and lesbian friends can now get civil unions here in Cook County. One small step for the LGBT community, one giant leap for Chicago's income. All wee need is a casino in-city and we'll be like Las Vegas for gay couples. It should be cool.