histrionics*
I haven't really been keeping up with this, last time I wrote I wanted to elaborate on a quote from american history x because it reminds me alot of basically all of my friends. But I don't really feel like it anymore.
So basically, in the past 3 days a lot has happened. I've been taking midterms and finals like crazy and next week I have alot more plus the english regents which i'm going to try so hard on because i want to try to get a 100, being I really love to write and shit. But we'll see. After all of that I need to start driving and sign up for drivers ed, the one that you take 2 times a week for 2 months and you can get your license right after. Which will be good. My step-mom was talking to her friend who works at the village inn in stony brook and said she can probably get me a waitressing job there, which would be amazing since its close and I desperately need money.
Yesterday I fainted in great morals class. It was terrible, we were watching a moving called "if these walls could talk" with demi moore in it and basically it was like taken place in the 50s where abortion was illegal so she tried killing the baby herself by taking pills and shit but ended up sticking a knitting needle in her vagina, and like i guess hit some muscle or artery i dont know... but the noise and the way she looked no matter if she was acting or not made me feel sick and especially because of what was in the back of my head about myself while watching that movie. So whatever i feel nausious and then im like okay ill be fine, then i got kinda dizzy and started like blacking out a little but i could still see...so i go to my teacher and tell him and then he goes to get the phone and I fainted. Face first, like if you were to picture someone literally dropping dead thats what happened. I hit my head and chin so fucking hard. It sucked. And then basically I stayed with the nurse til 10th period, where I had to go to college algebra, but fuck math, because i have all my credits and it really is the least of my problems. Long story short, i either fainted because of the movie or because I'm extremely anemic. So I bought a "maximum one a day" multi-vitamin and i have "all-day energy" ones too .. so i'm gonna have to take them so i don't do that again. scariest feeling ever.
Then today, eh it was fine. I got my schedule for next semester, I basically switched a bunch of classes that you're supposed to like write essays and like do math and shit for ... for photography, and fashion marketing. Which probably wasn't a bad idea being it's less stressful. I don't know.
So, I got into suffolk too. lmao didn't see that one coming.
But whatever, I start in september. -_-
But I don't know, right now i have a huge headache. i'm worried about ryan too. he has family issues going on now, and i'm not going to exploit them to everyone in the world, but i just hope it gets better for him, because whenever hes angry or upset it takes a toll on me and he takes it out on me without even realizing it and it just fucking sucks because then i get upset or worried or anxious and think way too much and its never good. I just hate fighting.
Whatever though, like I said, huge headache. I'm gonna lay down or something.