(no subject)
shadow's hide, the deep dispair.
i like the tea party...
"and you want it all, i'll give you something more and you fade away, one last kiss before you fade away"
that was the theme song of my entire grade nine year...wow it wasn't such a good time.
anyway.. on to more ranting becasue i feel like it.
i need to sleep, it's been killing me all these nights just lying awake in my bed wondering what the hell i'm doing here. what the hell i can do to make things better with my life. when really, there's a lot to be happy for.
school isn't so bad, my friends are awesome, my grades are good... christmas is comming... i like winter and i want to skate.
but i still feel empty inside. not all the time.. but when i lie awake in my bed and it's cold, i almost wish that i could be held. and i could fall into someones arms and cry. i almost need a good cry.
i think i've counted every little mound of stucco on my ceiling... that's a helluvalot of counting... really.
that's a helluvalot of thinking. of a wholata nuttin'...really.
hrm. so yes.
let's get to the anger part of me.
i'm frustrated. really damn frustrated.
i hate living at home, i love my parents, my relationship with them is good.. but it's tough being there. getting to and from school, having to explain a lot , ok all, of the little things i do.
mergh.
what the hell.. i just realized i sound like a stupid cheerleader with pms angst who's jock bf just left her... yeah i sound crappy.
i must learn to channel this anger agaisnt stupid people.
like the person on the bus who hit my in the head with their bag.
anyhoo.
i'm talking about a hell ofalot of nuttin.
again.
i'm sorry tho all you out there who thought i'd have more to say than
"i'm empty"
and
"i'm a dumb cheerleader"
thank god i'm not actually a cheerleader.
and yes... my brain actually does ramble like this all the time.
---
studio tomorrow 9 to 12. mmm pictoors. i need to take some cool pictoors.
i like the tea party...
"and you want it all, i'll give you something more and you fade away, one last kiss before you fade away"
that was the theme song of my entire grade nine year...wow it wasn't such a good time.
anyway.. on to more ranting becasue i feel like it.
i need to sleep, it's been killing me all these nights just lying awake in my bed wondering what the hell i'm doing here. what the hell i can do to make things better with my life. when really, there's a lot to be happy for.
school isn't so bad, my friends are awesome, my grades are good... christmas is comming... i like winter and i want to skate.
but i still feel empty inside. not all the time.. but when i lie awake in my bed and it's cold, i almost wish that i could be held. and i could fall into someones arms and cry. i almost need a good cry.
i think i've counted every little mound of stucco on my ceiling... that's a helluvalot of counting... really.
that's a helluvalot of thinking. of a wholata nuttin'...really.
hrm. so yes.
let's get to the anger part of me.
i'm frustrated. really damn frustrated.
i hate living at home, i love my parents, my relationship with them is good.. but it's tough being there. getting to and from school, having to explain a lot , ok all, of the little things i do.
mergh.
what the hell.. i just realized i sound like a stupid cheerleader with pms angst who's jock bf just left her... yeah i sound crappy.
i must learn to channel this anger agaisnt stupid people.
like the person on the bus who hit my in the head with their bag.
anyhoo.
i'm talking about a hell ofalot of nuttin.
again.
i'm sorry tho all you out there who thought i'd have more to say than
"i'm empty"
and
"i'm a dumb cheerleader"
thank god i'm not actually a cheerleader.
and yes... my brain actually does ramble like this all the time.
---
studio tomorrow 9 to 12. mmm pictoors. i need to take some cool pictoors.