And she's the only one who will see this.

[heart_i_choke]

I don't want to make it seem so very apparent,
my demeanor that is.
I've been straight forward with them all,
only around her though.
I know it has erked her, so I haven't
spoken to her or even of her for that matter, in a while now.
And the first time I speak to her in this while,
I want to say something to make her jealous,
to write a poem about another, or to buy another lunch,
and I know she'll see right through it.
So I continue to pretend she doesn't matter,
when really, she deters me from anything other
than thoughts of her,
without even trying.