Tore through me like a hurricane.

[heart___beat]

So just as suddenly as it started, my relationship with Kyle came to a devastating end. I didn't see it coming, and it has really torn me apart. I hate whining to people about relationship bullshit so I figure if I get it all out on here I can start to move on. Maybe try to organize my thoughts, figure out what might have gone wrong. Ugh, who knows. There was no "you did something wrong", there was no big fight, just an "I can't have a girlfriend anymore".
At this point I've come to terms with the "break up" part of things. It's the loss of the attention and affection that's killing me. I sit across the table from him and it takes ever ounce of strength not to reach for his hand or to take the seat next to him just so I can be close enough to kiss him if I want.  It's just so hard to constantly be around him and pretend that I'm ok with him not wanting to be with me anymore. When it comes down to it, I really am just completely heartbroken. Just a month earlier we had said "I love you". It just doesn't make sense, and it's really just so sad.

I can tell by his body language and his actions that there is no turning back for him. There wont be a getting back together any time soon. It hurts. It really really does.

I just can't sit here and pretend to be ok anymore so that people dont have to listen to it. I'm not ok.

At least I don't think you can die from a broken heart.