It's not, necessarily, that Castiel himself is not welcome.
But his presence means having to be the superior, and Anna's not sure she wants to watch this with cool detached certainty.
Her doubts (for that is what they are), however, are no fault of Castiel's.
(Or perhaps they are. Her brother who would admit he missing being able to put pen to paper -- perhaps that, too, has left her with some of the questions that she thinks on more and more.)
Still, there is no need to take anything out on him.
"I merely meant, is there something else that requires my attention?"
"Many do not. It was warm. They thought they were safe."
How quickly things can change.
The thin thread of smoke from the schoolhouse chimney is all but lost in the wind. Spirited away, much as the souls inside may be soon.
"In one school, the students are piling together. Keeping the youngest ones in the center where the warmth will last the longest. The idea of a boy named Benjamin--he favors scientific solutions. Some may survive, even if the fire runs out."
And those who do not will be borne home to everlasting rest.
"It is no more or less difficult than what we always see."
There is a part of him that feels sorrow that these lives on Earth will be so short. And that there will be fear and pain for many before they pass. But in the end they will have peace.
Castiel wonders if this is what it is like for the people in the buildings on the plain right now. To be so close to others, within shouting distance on a regular day. And yet now, in the snow, they might as well be hundreds of miles apart.
That is what Castiel feels between himself and his sister, though she is right there, next to him. It's as if the snow is serving to separate them as well.
He almost feels as if he must justify himself. He is not a creature devoid of compassion. But disasters occur. Wars break out. Diseases strike. Ships sink. People commit murder. There is nothing they can do to prevent that.
The drifts pile higher in the silence.
"Perhaps we should go," is all he can think of, again, to say.
Without an earthly body, those things are just words. Notions.
Not so for the humans caught in the storm. For them the cold is all too real and present.
"It is disheartening," Castiel says quietly, "the number who think they are being punished."
"Or that their neighbors are, and they are suffering the consequences."
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But disheartening? That seems to imply they have hearts to touch in the first place. Anna's not sure they do. Figuratively speaking, of course.
It takes her a long time to answer him.
"What do you want, Castiel?"
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"I thought..."
He trails off, the drone of the wind filling the void. When he speaks again, his tone is more deferential.
"Forgive me. I thought you might want my company."
They are so often together, watching the world go by. It had not occurred to him that, in this case, his presence might not be welcome.
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But his presence means having to be the superior, and Anna's not sure she wants to watch this with cool detached certainty.
Her doubts (for that is what they are), however, are no fault of Castiel's.
(Or perhaps they are. Her brother who would admit he missing being able to put pen to paper -- perhaps that, too, has left her with some of the questions that she thinks on more and more.)
Still, there is no need to take anything out on him.
"I merely meant, is there something else that requires my attention?"
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A great deal of focus is here on the plains at the moment.
Castiel looks toward the small school building.
"They have not tried to leave," he observes.
"Others have. Some have made it to safety."
"For others, it has not gone well."
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They'll have to leave, seek warmer buildings, when it runs out.
There is a part of her that cannot stand how calm he sounds.
There is a bigger part of her that cannot stand how calm she sounds.
Shouldn't it be impossible to watch this and not feel everything?
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How quickly things can change.
The thin thread of smoke from the schoolhouse chimney is all but lost in the wind. Spirited away, much as the souls inside may be soon.
"In one school, the students are piling together. Keeping the youngest ones in the center where the warmth will last the longest. The idea of a boy named Benjamin--he favors scientific solutions. Some may survive, even if the fire runs out."
And those who do not will be borne home to everlasting rest.
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"Speak of something else."
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It would seem that was the wrong tack to take. And he is left at something of a loss.
"Some towns are forming rescue parties," he says at last.
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Anna stops.
"Forgive me. This is difficult to watch."
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"It is no more or less difficult than what we always see."
There is a part of him that feels sorrow that these lives on Earth will be so short. And that there will be fear and pain for many before they pass. But in the end they will have peace.
He reminds himself of this.
"Perhaps we should go elsewhere."
China is fairly quiet at the moment.
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"Do you still miss it?"
. . . is pretty near to the top.
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"That is not at issue."
"It is not what we are, Anna."
It's about as close as he's ever come to taking a lecturing tone with her.
As to whether it's to mask an unspoken affirmative answer? Even he cannot say for certain.
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She looks down at the snow-swept towns below them.
There but for the Grace of God . . .
Anna is, if anything, even more quiet than Castiel was before he spoke, and for a longer time.
"As you say."
She will not mention it again.
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That is what Castiel feels between himself and his sister, though she is right there, next to him. It's as if the snow is serving to separate them as well.
He almost feels as if he must justify himself. He is not a creature devoid of compassion. But disasters occur. Wars break out. Diseases strike. Ships sink. People commit murder. There is nothing they can do to prevent that.
The drifts pile higher in the silence.
"Perhaps we should go," is all he can think of, again, to say.
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"You may go if you wish," she says.
Her attention is back on the school house below, where the teacher is now roping the children together.
To keep from losing any, Anna supposes, when they have to venture out into the storm.
The fire will not last much longer.
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