The Weekly Tuna SPECIAL: MMMMMMMMMMM: THE RECKONING
I have to apologize -- I was planning on playing super hardcore catchup last week, but somehow a week passed and I didn't post anything after the manga 288 summary. Oops. Penetant reflection has lead me to determine that the cause of my continued procrastination was because of 1) my procrastinating on finals and 2) my reluctance to summarize episodes 183 and 184 of the Primo Arc. You see, I kind of found those episodes to be bad, and not in the 'haha that's pretty funny I can't believe they wrote that' sort of way, but in the 'oh wow this is actually becoming somewhat difficult to watch sort of way.' I can't quite pinpoint where those feelings came from, but I assure you that it has less to do with a lack of love for Ryohei and Hibari, and more to do with the fact that sometimes it seems like the writers for the anime decide that writing an episode is equivalent to eating a bowl of alphabet soup and then pooping it back out onto paper.
Apologies to those of you who sincerely enjoyed 183 and 184, because I'm ragging pretty hard on them and also because I'm going to, for the time being, skip summarizing in the name of progress. We'll be zooming forward to episode 185, and hopefully when I'm less busy with graduating college, I'll be able to look back, pull up my big boy undies, and tackle the hideous beasts. In the mean time:
Six of the Primo Guardians all make an appearance at Clubhouse Namimori Shrine, and as they look at one another homoerotically, they come to a perturbing realization: Well fuck us, the only guy left to give his test is Daemon Spade, the First Generation Mist Guardian.
If you couldn't tell by the way everyone else says 'Daemon Spade' like they're voicing the name of He Who Shall Not Be Named, or by the sound effects that sound like the screeching brakes of the incoming Doom Bus, or from the striking resemblance Spade bears to everyone's favorite pineapple headed uniform fetishist, Daemon Spade is Not A Nice Guy (note the capital letters). In fact, he went down in Mafia history as a traitor to the Vongola Family, probably for committing some heinous crime like forgetting to pick up Primo's suit from the dry cleaners.
In a radical departure from his normal, serious self, Primo is perched on the steps of the shrine, looking seriously brooding. THAT WAS HIS FAVORITE SUIT, GOD FUCKING DAMN IT, D. SPADE. >:[
The next morning, we find our heroes on the way to Kokuyou Land to investigate the mystery of the disappearing Panty Shot. Because we found out what, 2-3 days ago that Chrome was missing, and Kyoko and Haru only remembered to mention it just now?
On the way there they run across Sir Pineapple-head McSmarmy X's bitches, who accuse Tsuna and company of committing various heinous but unspecified acts against Chrome who, as it turns out, wandered back to Kokuyou Land in tears the night before.
The incident led Ken and Chikusa to the conclusion that Something Is Wrong, a rather astute observation, considering how Chrome was hysterical and refusing cookies, rather than in a corner and staring at them wide eyed. Yeah, that would fall under the umbrella of "something is wrong" in my book, too.
Because they're Good Guys, Kyoko, Haru, Tsuna, and the rest of them take off running, worried about the well-being of their distressed comrade, whom they find curled up and rocking back and forth on the couch.
While Gokudera acts like a raging jackass, the girls convene to comfort Chrome, who appears first catatonic, then terrified, then admits that something has happened that's made her terrified to fight. Which must have been pretty fucking bad, considering the girl has weathered multiple tentacle rapes like a pro.
Haru tells Gokudera to shut his whore mouth and stop being a cocksuck, and the girls decide to chill with Chrome in Kokuyou Land until she stops freaking the fuck out. Yeah, you better fucking believe the ladies can dish out the fierce.
Chrome's emotional situation seems so dire that Ryohei is forced to think...
...and his thought that maybe the girls should stay in the past causes Tsuna to turn into a chipmunk.
Reborn summons the Arcobaleno to discuss the recent, uh setbacks the Vongola Mist Guardian has experienced, mainly wanting to know where the fuck Mammon is and why the hell he/she/it/moo hasn't been doing his/her/its/moo's job. The answer? Because you haven't paid up, duh.
They also come to the disturbing realization that Mr. Not A Nice Guy might possibly be behind all these shenanigans and decide to stop sitting around and picking their noses and go do something useful for once in this arc.
Tsuna returns home to roll around on his bed and spend a startling length of time worrying about the situation, because like a good budding control freak mafia boss, it's all he can bring himself to do since he can't be there to ~*BE SUPER SPECIAL HELPFUL*~
Lambo, however, is bored without Ipin around, and has plans to end Tsuna's deep teenage contemplation. By anally violating him with a foot.
The Arcobaleno decide it's high time to check up on everyone at Kokuyou Land, and so they drag Tsuna, Lambo, Ryohei, Yamamoto, and Gokudera back on over. On the way, Lambo complains that he's tired, and Ryohei, who is on an intellectual roll today, is the only one who realizes Lambo is like two inches tall and half a pound and is thus perfectly capable of riding on his shoulders.
Our heroes try to barge into the building where Chrome, Kyoko, Haru, and Ipin are, but find that it's engulfed in a thick, impenetrable layer of smarm. It appears that Daemon Spade is one step ahead of them, and in true pre-feminist movement fashion, has plundered the wimminez and taken them hostage.
He does, however, appear to masquerade as Chrome and make incredibly disturbing faces that cause even yours truly to jump out of their seat and go "HOT DAMN THAT IS NOT OKAY."
But Spade quickly sheds the tits like a fashionista who has just been alerted to the newest trend in Paris, and declares Tsuna and his guardians to be unworthy of inheriting the great Vongola Legacy. Why? In true random villain fashion ~*HE CAN'T TELL YOU*~ but I'm guessing it has something to do with Tsuna's unwillingness to kick babies, plunder wimminz, and drown puppies and kittens.
Spade is RIGHT DAMN FUCKING PROUD of his totally original, ever so villainous plan to TAKE WOMEN HOSTAGE and bids them all to look upon his handy work, then glowers like the right evil bastard he his and looks ready to break into a round of river dance to top it all off. Spade's reputation is well deserved, apparently, because he is not a singular dick, oh no, he appears to be an entire fucking bag full of dicks.
WHAT ARE DAEMON SPADE'S TRUE MOTIVES? WILL CHROME PROVE HERSELF A WORTHY SUCCESSOR TO A BAG OF DICKS? WHERE IS MUKURO? AND WILL THERE BE A RAPIST-OFF BETWEEN PINEAPPLE AND WATERMELON? TUNE IN NEXT WEEK, SAME SMARMY TIME, SAME SMARMY CHANNEL FOR THE CONTINUATION OF "REBORN: SAWADA TSUNAYOSHI AND THE WATERMELON HEADED JACKASS"
If all goes according to plan, I'll have posts up the next few days this week, because I need to play serious catch up if I'm going to tackle the 50 page behemoth that Reborn 291 is apparently going to be, so uh, keep an eye out if my shenanigans are still somehow amusing. \O/ Bossu out!
EDIT: Orite, and screencaps for those of you who want them. Because Spade is a bag of dicks, but he's also a right handsome devil. Also lots of Tsuna for reasons I can't seem to figure out.
Apologies to those of you who sincerely enjoyed 183 and 184, because I'm ragging pretty hard on them and also because I'm going to, for the time being, skip summarizing in the name of progress. We'll be zooming forward to episode 185, and hopefully when I'm less busy with graduating college, I'll be able to look back, pull up my big boy undies, and tackle the hideous beasts. In the mean time:
Six of the Primo Guardians all make an appearance at Clubhouse Namimori Shrine, and as they look at one another homoerotically, they come to a perturbing realization: Well fuck us, the only guy left to give his test is Daemon Spade, the First Generation Mist Guardian.
If you couldn't tell by the way everyone else says 'Daemon Spade' like they're voicing the name of He Who Shall Not Be Named, or by the sound effects that sound like the screeching brakes of the incoming Doom Bus, or from the striking resemblance Spade bears to everyone's favorite pineapple headed uniform fetishist, Daemon Spade is Not A Nice Guy (note the capital letters). In fact, he went down in Mafia history as a traitor to the Vongola Family, probably for committing some heinous crime like forgetting to pick up Primo's suit from the dry cleaners.
In a radical departure from his normal, serious self, Primo is perched on the steps of the shrine, looking seriously brooding. THAT WAS HIS FAVORITE SUIT, GOD FUCKING DAMN IT, D. SPADE. >:[
The next morning, we find our heroes on the way to Kokuyou Land to investigate the mystery of the disappearing Panty Shot. Because we found out what, 2-3 days ago that Chrome was missing, and Kyoko and Haru only remembered to mention it just now?
On the way there they run across Sir Pineapple-head McSmarmy X's bitches, who accuse Tsuna and company of committing various heinous but unspecified acts against Chrome who, as it turns out, wandered back to Kokuyou Land in tears the night before.
The incident led Ken and Chikusa to the conclusion that Something Is Wrong, a rather astute observation, considering how Chrome was hysterical and refusing cookies, rather than in a corner and staring at them wide eyed. Yeah, that would fall under the umbrella of "something is wrong" in my book, too.
Because they're Good Guys, Kyoko, Haru, Tsuna, and the rest of them take off running, worried about the well-being of their distressed comrade, whom they find curled up and rocking back and forth on the couch.
While Gokudera acts like a raging jackass, the girls convene to comfort Chrome, who appears first catatonic, then terrified, then admits that something has happened that's made her terrified to fight. Which must have been pretty fucking bad, considering the girl has weathered multiple tentacle rapes like a pro.
Haru tells Gokudera to shut his whore mouth and stop being a cocksuck, and the girls decide to chill with Chrome in Kokuyou Land until she stops freaking the fuck out. Yeah, you better fucking believe the ladies can dish out the fierce.
Chrome's emotional situation seems so dire that Ryohei is forced to think...
...and his thought that maybe the girls should stay in the past causes Tsuna to turn into a chipmunk.
Reborn summons the Arcobaleno to discuss the recent, uh setbacks the Vongola Mist Guardian has experienced, mainly wanting to know where the fuck Mammon is and why the hell he/she/it/moo hasn't been doing his/her/its/moo's job. The answer? Because you haven't paid up, duh.
They also come to the disturbing realization that Mr. Not A Nice Guy might possibly be behind all these shenanigans and decide to stop sitting around and picking their noses and go do something useful for once in this arc.
Tsuna returns home to roll around on his bed and spend a startling length of time worrying about the situation, because like a good budding control freak mafia boss, it's all he can bring himself to do since he can't be there to ~*BE SUPER SPECIAL HELPFUL*~
Lambo, however, is bored without Ipin around, and has plans to end Tsuna's deep teenage contemplation. By anally violating him with a foot.
The Arcobaleno decide it's high time to check up on everyone at Kokuyou Land, and so they drag Tsuna, Lambo, Ryohei, Yamamoto, and Gokudera back on over. On the way, Lambo complains that he's tired, and Ryohei, who is on an intellectual roll today, is the only one who realizes Lambo is like two inches tall and half a pound and is thus perfectly capable of riding on his shoulders.
Our heroes try to barge into the building where Chrome, Kyoko, Haru, and Ipin are, but find that it's engulfed in a thick, impenetrable layer of smarm. It appears that Daemon Spade is one step ahead of them, and in true pre-feminist movement fashion, has plundered the wimminez and taken them hostage.
He does, however, appear to masquerade as Chrome and make incredibly disturbing faces that cause even yours truly to jump out of their seat and go "HOT DAMN THAT IS NOT OKAY."
But Spade quickly sheds the tits like a fashionista who has just been alerted to the newest trend in Paris, and declares Tsuna and his guardians to be unworthy of inheriting the great Vongola Legacy. Why? In true random villain fashion ~*HE CAN'T TELL YOU*~ but I'm guessing it has something to do with Tsuna's unwillingness to kick babies, plunder wimminz, and drown puppies and kittens.
Spade is RIGHT DAMN FUCKING PROUD of his totally original, ever so villainous plan to TAKE WOMEN HOSTAGE and bids them all to look upon his handy work, then glowers like the right evil bastard he his and looks ready to break into a round of river dance to top it all off. Spade's reputation is well deserved, apparently, because he is not a singular dick, oh no, he appears to be an entire fucking bag full of dicks.
WHAT ARE DAEMON SPADE'S TRUE MOTIVES? WILL CHROME PROVE HERSELF A WORTHY SUCCESSOR TO A BAG OF DICKS? WHERE IS MUKURO? AND WILL THERE BE A RAPIST-OFF BETWEEN PINEAPPLE AND WATERMELON? TUNE IN NEXT WEEK, SAME SMARMY TIME, SAME SMARMY CHANNEL FOR THE CONTINUATION OF "REBORN: SAWADA TSUNAYOSHI AND THE WATERMELON HEADED JACKASS"
If all goes according to plan, I'll have posts up the next few days this week, because I need to play serious catch up if I'm going to tackle the 50 page behemoth that Reborn 291 is apparently going to be, so uh, keep an eye out if my shenanigans are still somehow amusing. \O/ Bossu out!
EDIT: Orite, and screencaps for those of you who want them. Because Spade is a bag of dicks, but he's also a right handsome devil. Also lots of Tsuna for reasons I can't seem to figure out.