[of course, but she figures he might want his proper name used. When they're alone, at least.
Yeah, she was prepared for that. :( not that it makes it easier for her. Remember the slight want for her to fret and be by the phone waiting for your call, Justin? That's what you're getting right now. When you do finally call, it'll be picked up on the first ring]
[Oh, he does - and for what it's worth, it's much appreciated. Even if right now he's being a pill.
After about a day and a half of not calling her and avoiding her at work - which was harder than he'd thought, considering he'd neglected to realize he normally routed his whole day around dropping in on her every spare moment - he finally gave in and called. Wasn't quite expecting the waiting by the phone act, so the pick-up on the first ring was momentarily startling.]
[really it's the avoidance at work that really stings. She hadn't realised either just how often he'd pop in to see her, so only getting a single glance throughout a whole day is depressing. That meant that the majority of her day was spent texting her bff endlessly with sad texts, trying to get him to e able to tell her when he'd call.
Of course then he does, which makes her happy, and sort of terrified at the same time]
Yeah. Of course I meant well. I'd never do anything to purposefully hurt you, Justin.
I...think that what it is, is that despite our other conversation, about not getting ahead of ourselves, I still struggle with looking ahead three, six, or twelve months, and painting a picture where you're not in it. So I want to help. So things can be the best.
I'm sure you might've gathered, I'm not used to having a lot of other people involved in my life. Close and personal. Having someone offer to help and learning to just accept it - it takes some getting used to.
I kind've envy you your ability to see into the future at all, really. I wish I could see what you're seeing. It might make me feel better. Because right now, personally, I'm lost.
I understand. I really do. I...think that I'm just trying to rush things to benefit myself, or something like that. I just...want you to be comfortable with everything. But I know that's going to take a lot of time.
[that gets her smiling just a bit into the receiver] I got that movie in the mail. Fatal Attraction. And I was thinking of making some mac and cheese from scratch. Is that something you'd like to have in your future, because it easily can be...
A-are you lost because of this, or...the switching back thing?
Tell you the truth, I think I was actually on the verge of an identity crisis before all this even happened. Or something, anyway. Not that I was really aware of it.
There's just - there's so much going on with me right now. I don't know if I can deal with you and everything else.
Maybe...that's the reason for all of this? The identity crisis. And...in Monaco, you could be yourself. While here there's just...so much anger directed at you. After what happened. So it feels like you can't
[...oh dear. She wasn't expecting that. At all] Oh. I...
I'm sorry I did this, Justin. I didn't mean for it to be this big of an impact on us. I...I'm so so sorry.
What, you think not feeling like I could be myself caused me to somehow flip chromosomes? I don't think so - that doesn't make a lot of sense. I mean how could that even be possible?
No, it's not you. Or anything you did. It's all me, really. I just...when I'm stressed out or something I usually spend time by myself. I isolate. [Frustrated.] But right now, at the same time, I don't think I really want to be alone.
The whole flipping chromosomes thing doesn't really make sense at all. I was just thinking of why could have changed to drastically in that short amount of time.
[a sad, short snort of laughter] I'm pretty sure that "It's not you, it's me" is the first excuse boys learn when it comes to breaking up with a girl. [a sniff, and a bite of her lower lip] If you want time to be alone, you can just be honest with me and say you need some time to yourself, you know. Everyone needs time to themselves occasionally, and you needing it...it's so understandable. If you need a week, or whatever, i'll wait for you. Your call, or...whatever it is you need. That's what girlfriends do. They try to make whoever they love, happy.
Ugh. I'm all out of theories as of, like, a month ago. This is so infuriating. Why is something or somebody out there doing this to me?
Yeah, but I haven't had a lot of experience breaking up before, considering... [ironic laugh] you need to be in it first, to break up.
But I don't know what I want. Which is the problem, really. For the first time in my life I'm actually having a problem figuring it out. I dunno if I'm losing it or just...
God. I wish you could've met me at any different point in my life. When I wasn't a freakish biological wonder, or turning into a basket case. I have no idea why you haven't taken off running for the hills.
To teach you some sort of weird lesson? I don't...know. Maybe that Vanko guy was weirder than you thought.
(you could hear her shifting as she moved to curl up on the bed, keeping her phone pressed to his ear) I'm not really a fan of them, personally. I tend to try to avoid them. (a dry little laugh)
What...what makes you happy? At the point in life you're at right now, what is it that makes you really happy? Because...you should do what makes you happy.
(that makes her laugh a little) Because when I met you, I had no idea you were a biological wonder. I thought you were just a kind of odd woman, but one who could make me happy over the stupidest, littlest things. Who treated me well, and all. And I kind of fell in love with you. Really, deeply. And that's not going to change because of your...situation. You're not a different person. Your ego is just a little bigger when you're a guy. (A soft sigh)
And yeah. You're probably not going to get a call for at least twenty-four hours, Gabriella.]
Reply
Yeah, she was prepared for that. :( not that it makes it easier for her. Remember the slight want for her to fret and be by the phone waiting for your call, Justin? That's what you're getting right now. When you do finally call, it'll be picked up on the first ring]
Reply
After about a day and a half of not calling her and avoiding her at work - which was harder than he'd thought, considering he'd neglected to realize he normally routed his whole day around dropping in on her every spare moment - he finally gave in and called. Wasn't quite expecting the waiting by the phone act, so the pick-up on the first ring was momentarily startling.]
Uh - hello?
Reply
Of course then he does, which makes her happy, and sort of terrified at the same time]
Hiimsorrypleasedontbreakupwithmeiwontbuttinagain.
[a breath that sounds an awful lot like a sniff]
Hi.
Reply
Uh, could I have that first part again maybe in English? Or just, slower?
Reply
Reply
You...meant well, I guess. I mean I kinda see what you were going for.
Reply
I...think that what it is, is that despite our other conversation, about not getting ahead of ourselves, I still struggle with looking ahead three, six, or twelve months, and painting a picture where you're not in it. So I want to help. So things can be the best.
Reply
[Sigh.]
I'm sure you might've gathered, I'm not used to having a lot of other people involved in my life. Close and personal. Having someone offer to help and learning to just accept it - it takes some getting used to.
I kind've envy you your ability to see into the future at all, really. I wish I could see what you're seeing. It might make me feel better. Because right now, personally, I'm lost.
Reply
[that gets her smiling just a bit into the receiver] I got that movie in the mail. Fatal Attraction. And I was thinking of making some mac and cheese from scratch. Is that something you'd like to have in your future, because it easily can be...
A-are you lost because of this, or...the switching back thing?
Reply
There's just - there's so much going on with me right now. I don't know if I can deal with you and everything else.
[Quietly.] And I hate feeling that way.
Reply
[...oh dear. She wasn't expecting that. At all] Oh. I...
I'm sorry I did this, Justin. I didn't mean for it to be this big of an impact on us. I...I'm so so sorry.
Reply
No, it's not you. Or anything you did. It's all me, really. I just...when I'm stressed out or something I usually spend time by myself. I isolate. [Frustrated.] But right now, at the same time, I don't think I really want to be alone.
Reply
[a sad, short snort of laughter] I'm pretty sure that "It's not you, it's me" is the first excuse boys learn when it comes to breaking up with a girl. [a sniff, and a bite of her lower lip] If you want time to be alone, you can just be honest with me and say you need some time to yourself, you know. Everyone needs time to themselves occasionally, and you needing it...it's so understandable. If you need a week, or whatever, i'll wait for you. Your call, or...whatever it is you need. That's what girlfriends do. They try to make whoever they love, happy.
Reply
Yeah, but I haven't had a lot of experience breaking up before, considering... [ironic laugh] you need to be in it first, to break up.
But I don't know what I want. Which is the problem, really. For the first time in my life I'm actually having a problem figuring it out. I dunno if I'm losing it or just...
God. I wish you could've met me at any different point in my life. When I wasn't a freakish biological wonder, or turning into a basket case. I have no idea why you haven't taken off running for the hills.
Reply
(you could hear her shifting as she moved to curl up on the bed, keeping her phone pressed to his ear) I'm not really a fan of them, personally. I tend to try to avoid them. (a dry little laugh)
What...what makes you happy? At the point in life you're at right now, what is it that makes you really happy? Because...you should do what makes you happy.
(that makes her laugh a little) Because when I met you, I had no idea you were a biological wonder. I thought you were just a kind of odd woman, but one who could make me happy over the stupidest, littlest things. Who treated me well, and all. And I kind of fell in love with you. Really, deeply. And that's not going to change because of your...situation. You're not a different person. Your ego is just a little bigger when you're a guy. (A soft sigh)
Reply
Leave a comment