(no subject)
So, in general. I kind of like doing a huge, sweeping cleaning of my apartment. Because, really, where else do you see such instant gratification? Eeeewwwww, gross sink. **pull out clorox wipe** **wipe up sink** Oooooo! Shiney!!!! But here's what happens when I clean:
**Em sits on butt, not cleaning, the horrible and embarrassing mess lurking ominously in her peripheral vision.**
**Em does 5 crossword puzzles. Clearly working out one's mind is an adequate reason not to clean.**
**Em plays 50 games of Vegas-style solitaire. She'll start cleaning just as soon as she gets above $8000!**
**Em gets up to pee. While washing her hands, she just can't take it anymore and starts cleaning the sink. Oo, shiney!**
**Since she's in the bathroom anyway, clearly she should clean out the litter box and take out the trash. Well, and the wipes are already out, so scrubbing the tub makes sense. Hm. It's really annoying to walk on the little bits of escaped kitty litter...sweep, sweep, sweep.**
**Before you know it, Em has cleaned the whole bathroom! Yay! Em deserves a break!**
**Em sits down at the computer and gets on Facebook. She likes a couple of statuses. Maybe comments on one or two. Stalks a few people she hasn't seen in a while. Can't come up with anything else to do, so she decides to write a note.**
**Oh look! Someone has come onto gchat! Clearly she must talk to them about any drivel she can come up with.**
**Just one more crossword and she'll get back to cleaning....**
**Maybe there's something she hasn't seen yet on hulu....**
**50 games of Vegas-style solitaire later....she realizes it's now 1 a.m. and goes to bed, with one room clean and the rest of the apartment still the ominous mess.**
Here's what happens when I clean while there's someone else in my apartment who I like:
**Em invites person into apartment. Oh dear god this is embarrassing. She apologizes and hopes the person becomes temporarily blind. She throws some stuff on the floor so the person can sit on the very comfy sofa and maybe gets out a puzzle for them to do.**
**As soon as they're set up, she starts cleaning the area around them as fast as humanly possible. Or perhaps she does her dishes. The person offers to help, but, too embarrassed to have the person actually see what her dishes are like, she insists they stay put and washes twice as quickly.**
**Chitchat continues along with the cleaning. Yay! One room is clean!!**
**Em earns a help-with-puzzle break. All goes well for a bit, then the other person is like "I must pee now. And you would probably prefer I did not do so on your comfy sofa." Em becomes panic-stricken while she remembers the state of her bathroom. She reluctantly tells person where bathroom is, puts together 3 more pieces, then goes to make bathroom shiny.**
**Yay shiny bathroom! More puzzle time!**
**etc., etc., until the apartment is actually clean and she proudly shows it off in its beautiful glory, showing that her apartment is actually fit for human (and feline) habitation.**
Now, what should I be doing instead of writing this note??? Well, if you come by my apartment 5-crosswords, and 50-solitaire-games later, you **might** find out...
**Em sits on butt, not cleaning, the horrible and embarrassing mess lurking ominously in her peripheral vision.**
**Em does 5 crossword puzzles. Clearly working out one's mind is an adequate reason not to clean.**
**Em plays 50 games of Vegas-style solitaire. She'll start cleaning just as soon as she gets above $8000!**
**Em gets up to pee. While washing her hands, she just can't take it anymore and starts cleaning the sink. Oo, shiney!**
**Since she's in the bathroom anyway, clearly she should clean out the litter box and take out the trash. Well, and the wipes are already out, so scrubbing the tub makes sense. Hm. It's really annoying to walk on the little bits of escaped kitty litter...sweep, sweep, sweep.**
**Before you know it, Em has cleaned the whole bathroom! Yay! Em deserves a break!**
**Em sits down at the computer and gets on Facebook. She likes a couple of statuses. Maybe comments on one or two. Stalks a few people she hasn't seen in a while. Can't come up with anything else to do, so she decides to write a note.**
**Oh look! Someone has come onto gchat! Clearly she must talk to them about any drivel she can come up with.**
**Just one more crossword and she'll get back to cleaning....**
**Maybe there's something she hasn't seen yet on hulu....**
**50 games of Vegas-style solitaire later....she realizes it's now 1 a.m. and goes to bed, with one room clean and the rest of the apartment still the ominous mess.**
Here's what happens when I clean while there's someone else in my apartment who I like:
**Em invites person into apartment. Oh dear god this is embarrassing. She apologizes and hopes the person becomes temporarily blind. She throws some stuff on the floor so the person can sit on the very comfy sofa and maybe gets out a puzzle for them to do.**
**As soon as they're set up, she starts cleaning the area around them as fast as humanly possible. Or perhaps she does her dishes. The person offers to help, but, too embarrassed to have the person actually see what her dishes are like, she insists they stay put and washes twice as quickly.**
**Chitchat continues along with the cleaning. Yay! One room is clean!!**
**Em earns a help-with-puzzle break. All goes well for a bit, then the other person is like "I must pee now. And you would probably prefer I did not do so on your comfy sofa." Em becomes panic-stricken while she remembers the state of her bathroom. She reluctantly tells person where bathroom is, puts together 3 more pieces, then goes to make bathroom shiny.**
**Yay shiny bathroom! More puzzle time!**
**etc., etc., until the apartment is actually clean and she proudly shows it off in its beautiful glory, showing that her apartment is actually fit for human (and feline) habitation.**
Now, what should I be doing instead of writing this note??? Well, if you come by my apartment 5-crosswords, and 50-solitaire-games later, you **might** find out...